Gay Kids Comg Out Younger, But Parents Ask "How Do You Know?"

Contents:

• GAY YOUTH COMG OUT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL
• AM I GAY? QUIZ - FOR MIDDLE-SCHOOL KIDS ?‍❤️‍?‍?
• SUPPORTG A GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE MIDDLE SCHOOL
• WHAT'S LIFE LIKE FOR GAY KIDS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS?
• GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"
• MIDDLE SCHOOL VS. MY GAY KID
• WISNS MIDDLE SCHOOL FEATUR 'THIS BOOK IS GAY' LIBRARY, STIRRG ONLE OUTRAGE

GAY YOUTH COMG OUT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

When realy, if you talk to a gay man, you know, many of them lookg back will say, you know, I noticed my same sex attractn, you know, at 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 that ballpark. I mean, one of the tertg thgs that we have to look at is this, is that much of the anti-gay bullyg and anti-gay harassment that's gog on middle schools and high school is more about genr non-nformy than really is about beg gay or lbian. Is that beg gay or lbian is still enough of a pariah inty that parents want to take off the table as long as they n, or is jt that parents really feel that all kids are sexualized too early the days, and they don't want their kids at this age thkg about, you know, hookg up?

So was really - and a lot of parents, when they heard their kid, their 12-, 13-, 14-year-old say, you know, I'm gay, or I'm bisexual, or I'm lbian, they tomatilly went to oh my god, that means he's havg sex, when realy wasn't about that at all. DENIZET-LEWIS: I thk that there's no doubt that sort of as you have more posive portrayals and, I would say, accurate portrayals of gay and lbian life the media, and kids n go onle and fd all kds of rourc, that there's no doubt that that's gog to have an effect on kids, and that they're gog to possibly e out earlier bee of that. What I thk that the more posive portrayals popular culture has done is 's ma a ltle b safer for kids who do feel that they're gay or lbian to be able to e to their parents or school unselor and talk about the issu, which I thk is a real step forward bee for many years, kids who had same-sex attractn or were nfed, they uldn't talk to anyone about .

AM I GAY? QUIZ - FOR MIDDLE-SCHOOL KIDS ?‍❤️‍?‍?

So, you know, nsequently I sort of went nial mo, which is what a lot of gay kids have done for many years, and then my early 20s and mid-20s and late 20s, as many gay men do who don't e out until late, we sort of try to relive our gay adolcence that we weren't allowed to live. And so what's remarkable, now, is I thk we're gog to see, as more and more kids e out younger and are sort of able to have a normal adolcence the sense that, you know, I talked to kids who were havg arguments wh their parents about gog on dat when they're 15 or 16 or 17 or gog to the prom or sort of, you know, havg their normal adolcence, I thk 's gog to create an entirely different kd of gay and lbian adult the next 10, 20, 30 years.

SUPPORTG A GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE MIDDLE SCHOOL

Too many tim, episos of bullyg are based around stunts’ perceived sexualy or inti, and as rearch prov, our young people are way schools n bat the attacks is to host a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA). A 2014 study found that “LGBTQ stunts are at higher risk for suici, part bee they are more often targeted for bullyg and discrimatn, but heterosexual stunts n also be the target of homophobic bullyg. Create an articulated program where stunts om the high school program n help those the younger you’re terted learng more about tablishg a GSA your school, check out the Jump Start Gui provid by Gay, Lbian, and Straight Edutn Network.

This year is no different, om a Mississippi unty school board banng 18-year-old Constance McMillan, who wanted to wear a tux and brg her girliend, to the Miami gay senr who was crowned prom queen -only to be disowned by his own fay.

COX: One of the areas that has been an issue the gay, lbian, transgenr muny, as far as public schools are ncerned, is whether or not to tegrate the stunts to the mastream populatn or to some way segregate them, even if is jt for their safety.

WHAT'S LIFE LIKE FOR GAY KIDS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS?

COX: Is possible, Judy, to tablish wh a school settg, let's say, a program that will benef stunts who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr - not discrimate agast them but at the same time, allow them to have the fort of beg an area where they n feel fortable?

You know, so we would do some kd of supprsn terms of the anti-gay harassment that you experienced and plement that wh tnal terventns bee is through tn that we n really end bias.

GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"

Those are the clear non-discrimatn and anti-bullyg, anti-harassment polici that explicly clu sexual orientatn and genr exprsn and genr inty as among those tegori of protectn; havg supportive faculty and school staff available to young people to help them when issu arise; the prence of stunt clubs, monly known as gay-straight allianc, or GSAs, and other stunt advocy to improve school climate; and the prence of clive curricular elements that accurately and appropriately pict LGBT people, history and life.

I thk Judy embodi what I thk is bt all people who go to tn, but I do have to pot out that there are ser stutnal barriers across the untry for teachers, gay or straight, who wish to reach out and help stunts who are havg a hard time. And I thk the key thg - thkg about that first email - is that this is about the fact that 90 percent of stunts, gay and straight, report that they hear anti-gay ments, anti-LGBT ments at school every sgle day. Stunts we asked - a natnal sample of sendary school stunts, middle and high school, the - gay and straight - about the most equent bas for bullyg and harassment their schools, and the top three that were listed were physil appearance and body size, actual or perceived sexual orientatn, and whether a stunt was perceived to be, quote-unquote, mascule or feme enough.

Sendarily, of urse, is about those stunts an environment who may or may not be gay, maybe thkg about whether or not they are LGBT, and are wnsg the price that they will have to pay.

MIDDLE SCHOOL VS. MY GAY KID

Our guts are Eliza Byard, executive director of the Gay, Lbian and Straight Edutn Network, also known as GLSEN; and Judy Chiasson, wh the Office of Human Relatns, Diversy and Equy, Los Angel Unified School District. Unified School District; Eliza Byard, as - serv as executive director of the Gay, Lbian and Straight Edutn Network; and someone who joed by phone who - Stanley, who was om Massachetts, print of the PFLAG chapter there.

" He explas, That's not to say that gay teenagers didn't still suffer harassment at school or rejectn at home, but many seemed ls burned wh shame and self-loathg than their olr gay peers. Gog onle broke through the isolatn that had been a hallmark of beg young and gay, and allowed gay teenagers to fd rmatn to refute what their fai or church sometim still told them - namely, that they would never fd happs and to the Inter and to creasg cultural acceptance of homosexualy (an crease marred, we should note, by measur like Proposn 8), kids who might once have waed until high school or even llege to e out are now dog so earlier. " They were not, however, silent: "Good luck gettg middle-schoolers not to talk, " the school unselor youth of the Webster kids and other gay middle-schoolers is a sign of how far gay rights have e — but 's also the kids' biggt obstacle to acceptance.

The irony of a parent spectg her kid is gay and then refg to believe he uld know his own orientatn highlights how much more difficulty some parents have wh burgeong gay sexualy than they would wh a straight kid's of this may have to do wh the misnceptn that you have to have gay terurse to be gay, or that homosexualy is somehow a more "sexual" orientatn than heterosexualy. A lawyer Florida argued that gay-straight allianc promote the "premature sexualizatn of the stunts, " and when At started a gay-straight alliance, his Michigan school ma him ll somethg "ls ntroversial" (he chose "Peace Alliance"). Denizet-Lewis reports the hopeful words of velopmental psychologist Rch Sav-Williams: "This is the first generatn of gay kids who have the great joy of beg able to argue wh their parents about datg, jt like their straight peers do.

WISNS MIDDLE SCHOOL FEATUR 'THIS BOOK IS GAY' LIBRARY, STIRRG ONLE OUTRAGE

Parents should faiarize themselv wh hotl provid by PFLAG, cludg The Trevor Project, the Natnal Suici Preventn Lifele, The Gay, Lbian, Bisexual and Transgenr Natnal Hotle, and more. Not far om them, a 14-year-old named Misti — who me out to classmat at her middle school when she was 12 and weathered anti-gay harassment and bullyg, cludg havg food thrown at her the feteria — sat on a woon bench and cuddled wh a new had practilly fotten about his boyiend. Though gay kids the South and ral areas tend to have a harr time than those on the asts, I met gay youth who were dog well socially nservative areas like Tulsa and others progrsive ci who were aaid to e is clear is that for many gay youth, middle school is more survival than learng — one parent of a gay teenager I spent time wh likened her child’s middle school to a “war zone.

” In a 2007 survey of 626 gay, bisexual and transgenr middle-schoolers om across the untry by the Gay, Lbian, and Straight Edutn Network (Glsen), 81 percent reported beg regularly harassed on mp bee of their sexual orientatn.

“We always knew middle school was a time when kids stggle wh their inty, ” she told me, “but was easy to let anti-gay language sli bee ’s so imbedd middle-school culture and bee we didn’t have stunts who were out to or their classmat.