Story Saved</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-outle" d="M20 24L12.5 19.7804L5 24V3H20V24ZM12.5 18.6028L19 22.2336V3.98131H6V22.2336L12.5 18.6028Z" fill="black"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-checkmark" d="M11.5541 13.7033L9 11.2033L9.66216 10.5552L11.5541 12.407L15.3378 8.70331L16 9.35146L11.5541 13.7033Z" fill="black"></path></svg></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm ifgabc loYW alert-msage"><p>To revis this article, select My Acunt, then<!-- --> <a href="/acunt/saved">View saved stori</a></p></div><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv dZjwET button button--utily close-alert-button" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" role="button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Close Alert</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-close" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><path d="M16 14.586l6.364-6.364 1.414 1.414L17.414 16l6.364 6.364-1.414 1.414L16 17.414l-6.364 6.364-1.414-1.414L14.586 16 8.222 9.636l1.414-1.414z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></div></button></div><a href="/th/iate?redirectURL=%2Fmagaze%2F2015%2F03%2F09%2Frapt&source=VERSO_NAVIGATION" rel="nofollow" data-ttid="signIn" class="StandardNavigatnAcuntLabel-pyqL jVPHWr">Sign In</a></div><div class="StackedNavigatnConsumerMarketgUnWrapper-epSkjf eqsNVO"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--nav-cta" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--nav-cta"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--nav-rollover" role="prentatn"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--nav-rollover"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--nav-dialog" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--nav-dialog"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><a href="/search" class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv gVJotL button button--utily StackedNavigatnSearch-lFFwq ckLQNp" data-event-click="{"element":"Button","outgogURL":"/search"}" data-ttid="Button" type=""><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Search</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-search" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns=" data-ttid="inSearch"><tle>Search</tle><path d="M14.5 10a4.5 4.5 0 1 0 0 9 4.5 4.5 0 0 0 0-9zm5.249 8.335l4.458 4.458-1.414 1.414-4.458-4.458a6.5 6.5 0 1 1 1.414-1.414z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></div></a></div></div><div data-ttid="StackedNavigatnSectnPrimaryLks" class="StackedNavigatnSectnPrimaryLks-foRfJu jOZVNi"><nav aria-label="Primary" class="NavigatnWrapper-bFftAs fKSZRK StackedNavigatnNavigatnPrimaryLk-hGPvKW junrbk" data-ttid="navigatn"><ul class="NavigatnListWrapper-gWXLVS dnLcIy navigatn__list" data-ttid="navigatn__list"><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/news" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">News</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/culture" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Books & Culture</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/fictn-and-poetry" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Fictn & Poetry</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/humor" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Humor & Cartoons</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/magaze" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Magaze</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/crossword-puzzl-and-gam" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Puzzl & Gam</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href=" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Vio</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/podsts" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Podsts</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/gogs-on" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Gogs On</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href=" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Ftival</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="external-lk NavigatnExternalLk-hktPkS jLQUSr navigatn__lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Shop</a></li></ul></nav><span class="NavigatnDivir-fEDnwq ixXXMs navigatn__divir"></span></div><div class="StackedNavigatnBottom-dpkX bIeNbx"><div class="StackedNavigatnDrawer-jtJcEj edsvEF"><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv dZjwET button button--utily StackedNavigatnDrawerToggle-cycUFN eZCXFW" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" role="button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Open Navigatn Menu</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-menu" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><tle>Menu</tle><path d="M8 10h16v2H8v-2zm0 5h16v2H8v-2zm0 5h16v2H8v-2z" fill-le="evenodd"></path></svg></div></button><div class="AlertWrapper-gvFATk ePjLtR" data-ttid="BookmarkAlertMobile" role="tooltip"><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertArrow-daOgye dJBuXq alert-arrow"></div><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertInWrapper-iHNVmf iGkvlr"><svg class="in in-bookmark in-bookmark--activated" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Story Saved</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-outle" d="M20 24L12.5 19.7804L5 24V3H20V24ZM12.5 18.6028L19 22.2336V3.98131H6V22.2336L12.5 18.6028Z" fill="black"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-checkmark" d="M11.5541 13.7033L9 11.2033L9.66216 10.5552L11.5541 12.407L15.3378 8.70331L16 9.35146L11.5541 13.7033Z" fill="black"></path></svg></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm ifgabc loYW alert-msage"><p>To revis this article, vis My Profile, then<!-- --> <a href="/acunt/saved">View saved stori</a></p></div><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv dZjwET button button--utily close-alert-button" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" role="button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Close Alert</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-close" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><path d="M16 14.586l6.364-6.364 1.414 1.414L17.414 16l6.364 6.364-1.414 1.414L16 17.414l-6.364 6.364-1.414-1.414L14.586 16 8.222 9.636l1.414-1.414z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></div></button></div></div><div class="StackedNavigatnSectnLogo-gMsxSu kUeORh"><a href="/" class="StackedNavigatnLogoLk-byNqXP dmvHfj"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa rponsive-image"><img alt="The New Yorker" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="/verso/static/the-new-yorker/assets/" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/></picture></a></div><div class="StackedNavigatnSectnMobileOptn-iaaAJG bHHPuB"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--mob-nav-cta" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--mob-nav-cta"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div></div></div></hear><div class="modal-ntaer"></div></div><div class="PersistentBottomWrapper-eddooY bIieWF persistent-bottom" data-journey-hook="persistent-bottom"><asi class="PaywallBarWrapper-hbEokK kqItQt paywall-bar"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut paywall-bar__nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-bar-ll-to-actn" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-bar-ll-to-actn"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><div class="StickyHeroAdWrapper-eNLJUc gStsdY ad-stickyhero ad-stickyhero--standard ad-stickyhero-enable-mobile should-hold-space"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--hero"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--hero" data-no-id="gu2wep"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs eYlKuB ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp jbzVNV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT kkDiIx"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX dZhWBL bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fgWnkQ bric__lk" href="/magaze/books"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Books</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd NbxED hpJvIc">Rapt</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB enhwXT ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ Mtme">Grievg wh your goshawk.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa gvUmxJ"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn jKACOU"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn jKACOU rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w" siz="66px"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w" siz="66px"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bqbBYQ"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ivtvgj byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd ggMZaT cXqSTL eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributors/kathryn-schulz">Kathryn Schulz</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2015-03-02T00:00:18-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd kYZrFA kEBrdf">March 2, 2015</time></div></div></div></div></div></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kbAoLA article-body__ntent"><div class="ActnBarWrapperContent-lasBkU cAHp"><div class="ActnBarWrapperComponent-cjwxLS bEeSLb"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh kNjTbQ viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save this story" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU hQrwCF bookmark large-screen"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill" d="M20 23.9508L12.5 19.7312L5 23.9508V2.95081H14V3.93211H6V22.1845L12.5 18.5536L19 22.1845V8.83866H20V23.9508Z"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill" d="M23 3H20V0H19V3H16V4H19V7H20V4H23V3Z"></path></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd bkefvo gkccfO">Save this story</span></button></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh kAEsuD viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save this story" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU cjjxgx bookmark mobile"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill" d="M20 23.9508L12.5 19.7312L5 23.9508V2.95081H14V3.93211H6V22.1845L12.5 18.5536L19 22.1845V8.83866H20V23.9508Z"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill" d="M23 3H20V0H19V3H16V4H19V7H20V4H23V3Z"></path></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd bkefvo gkccfO">Save this story</span></button></div></div></div><div class="LightboxWrapper-dxsWBV hhylRt"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG gBDqlf"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><div class="GenericCalloutWrapper-tojWn iHBnEl llout--has-top-borr set-embedd-le" data-ttid="GenericCallout"><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO KhjZz AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image rponsive-image--expandable"><noscript><img alt="Hnted by her fathers ath Helen Macdonald kept pany wh a bird of prey." class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE iTuhkZ ptn AssetEmbedCaptn-fNQBPI fmQnYP asset-embed__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo iXWezO ptn__text">Hnted by her father’s ath, Helen Macdonald kept pany wh a bird of prey.</span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd iicloT jbIJNS ptn__cred">Photograph by Christa McLeish / Courty Grove Atlantic</span></div></figure></div><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg">The boys have gone out hawkg. The year is 500 A.D., give or take, when young men of a certa social class fly hawks for sport. One of the boys belongs to that class: his father is a knight, and he will grow up to be one, too. His name is Kay. The other boy will grow up to be a kg, but he don’t know that yet. For now, he is Kay’s ferr: younger, adopted, of unknown leage, saddled by the olr child wh the unfortunate nickname the Wart. At prent, an arrangement that is typil, the Wart is tdgg along rryg a ad creature to serve as a lure, while Kay, walkg ont of him, rri the hawk.</p><p class="paywall">It is a goshawk, a huge bird wh goln ey, like somethg out of a legend. And this one is: we are six pag to T. H. Whe’s six-hundred-and-forty-page medieval epic, “The Once and Future Kg.” We have already learned, on page 1, that the boys practice hawkg every week, but now be clear that Kay is bad at . He throws the bird om his glove before is ready, and for a moment hangs there, a nfn of feathers and air and stct. An stant later, is lost. “Up went the hawk,” Whe wr, “swoopg like a child flung high a swg, until the wgs fold and he was stg a tree.”</p><p class="paywall">Kay soon go off a f of pique, leavg the d, anx, loyal Wart to try to tch the bird. It fli eper and eper to the woods. Night falls. The Wart worri. He knows the fort is full of outlaws, maniacs, and wild beasts, but he n’t brg himself to abandon the hawk. He keeps watch beneath the tree where roosts, gets shot at, fle, los the bird, enunters a knight, los him, too, then stumbl upon a clearg wh a stone ttage and a strange old man outsi. The old man is Merlyn, the magician, and he foraw long ago that this would happen: that here, ont of his ttage, he would meet the boy known later years and ever after as Kg Arthur. So much has yet to e, but all of —the sword, the stone, the wars, the Round Table, the quts, the love affairs, the murrs, the betrayals, the tragedy, the whole huge arc of like a longbow pulled fast wh the arrow already nocked—all of begs bee a person, of uncerta inty and gravely lost, bds his fate to a goshawk.</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Helen Macdonald was her third and fal year as a rearch fellow at Cambridge, a prtig postgraduate posn, when her father died and, for eight hundred pounds sterlg, she acquired a ten-week-old goshawk. The ath was unexpected. Her father, a profsnal photographer based London, had gone out after a vlent storm to take pictur of the damage down at Battersea, when he suffered a heart attack. Later, Macdonald saw the fal image his mera: “Blurred, taken om a low angle, far too low; an empty London street.”</p><p class="paywall">The goshawk was unexpected, too. By the time of her father’s ath, Macdonald, an experienced falner, had traed ktrels and merls and peregr, but she had never red to tra a goshawk. Among those who know their birds of prey, the reputatn of the goshawk is half Hamlet, half Lady Macbeth: mad, murro, unpredictable, the kd of creature whose partners and timat should brace themselv for trouble. “Spooky, pale-eyed psychopaths,” Macdonald lls them. “<em>Not for me,</em> I’d thought, many tim.” But then me ath, that other unpredictable mad murrer, and Macdonald got a hawk, named her Mabel, and set about tryg to tame her.</p><p class="paywall">Macdonald’s book about that experience, “H Is for Hawk” (Grove), was first published last summer Great Bra, where won the Samuel Johnson Prize for nonfictn and the Costa Book of the Year prize, award to the bt new book any genre. Had there been an award for the bt new book that fi every genre, I image would have won that, too. Like the griff that the Wart might have met his fort, “H Is for Hawk” is an improbable and hybrid creature. It is one part grief memoir, one part gui to raptors, and one part bgraphy of T. H. Whe, who chronicled his main effort at falnry “The Goshawk,” wrten jt before he began work on “The Once and Future Kg.” I am scribg Macdonald’s book by s parts for the same reason we scribe a griff by s parts—bee how else would we do so? But is herent, plete, and rivetg, perhaps the ft nonfictn I read the past year.</p><p class="paywall">To this wondroly atypil book, Macdonald brgs an equally atypil background. She is a former faln-breer for royalty of the Uned Arab Emirat, a current historian of science at Cambridge, a naturalist, an illtrator, and the thor of three llectns of poetry and one prev work of nonfictn, “Faln,” a natural and cultural history. She is also what you might ll a former raptor prodigy. Her father, addn to beg a photographer, was an amatr plane-spotter, and he tght his young dghter sky-watchg, bird-watchg, and patience. By the age of six, she had begun teachg herself about birds of prey. Her prepubcent leisure readg clud, along wh “The Goshawk,” Gilbert Blae’s “Falnry,” Frank Illgworth’s “Falns and Falnry,” and Jam Hartg’s “Hts on Hawks.” By ne or ten, Macdonald had bee, her words, “the most appallg falnry bore.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">Listen to her now, two pag :</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><blockquote class="BlockquoteEmbedWrapper-sc-SdiGL jPeLne paywall blockquote-embed"><div class="BlockquoteEmbedContent-RbGs gmbtPx blockquote-embed__ntent"><p>Maybe you’ve glanced out of the wdow and seen there, on the lawn, a bloody great hawk murrg a pigeon, or a blackbird, or a magpie, and looks the hugt, most imprsive piece of wildns you’ve ever seen, like someone’s tipped a snow leopard to your kchen and you fd eatg the t.</p></div></blockquote><p class="paywall">So much for the falnry bore. Intellectually, Macdonald is unhurried—she ps to pot out whatever is tertg—but, stylistilly, she is like this passage, all pounce. Over and over, her wrg tak you by surprise: no sooner have you registered the kchen than, whoa, there’s the snow leopard, s huge Himalayan paws leavg prts on the tile and half a domtic shorthair hangg om s mouth. I will never aga not have pictured that, and, wh apologi to my t, I am glad. Like “The Goshawk,” only wh nsirably more self-awarens, “H Is for Hawk” is about what happens when you blur the le between wild and domtic: about what is like to share your home wh a bloody great murrg creature, why anyone would choose to do so, and what rewards and hazards attend that cisn.</p><p class="paywall">Books about nature, like the tegory “animal,” sometim suffer om a s of omissn: both s, people belong si them but are often left out. Books about grief n the oppose risk; too much of the person n be left , too much of the world omted. Macdonald, who is wrg both kds of book at once, mak neher mistake. She is timate and movg on the anguish that rried her to the pany of hawks, but the world of her book is like the world we really live , crowd wh humans and human ias, and she turns on all the triple perspicy of a poet, a naturalist, and a historian. She dissects the cultural symbolism attached to hawks om Victorian England to the Third Reich; she talogu the classic animal stori by gay thors, who uld not wre openly of their human relatnships; she observ that when a speci is endangered suffers not only numeric but also semantic cle. “The rarer they get, the fewer meangs animals n have,” she observ. “Eventually rary is all they are ma of.”</p><p class="paywall">Goshawks are rare England now—certaly, they are a rare pann for a young urban woman—but, Macdonald not, there was a time when you uld walk down the street Cambridge and see as many birds on the fist as today you see dogs on a leash. That world had an entire culture and language, and Macdonald provis an troductn to . A person who tras falns is lled a falner, but a person who tras hawks is lled an strger. Young hawks are eyass, as crossword-puzzle vote know; adolcents are passagers; those ught as adults are haggards. A happy hawk signals s ntentment by “rog,” and Macdonald and Whe each provi a wonrful scriptn. Mabel “lifts herself to a vast, othy mop of feathers”; Whe’s hawk, when roed, “looked exactly like a fir-ne.” By ntrast, a malntented hawk will “bate,” dive-bombg off s owner’s fist terror or rage. A hawk nnot pe by batg, bee s owner holds s js—slim leather straps attached to bands the bird wears on s ankl. But n pe when released to hunt, as Kay’s hawk did—and then, like the Wart, the owner mt follow unrneath the bird and try to ax down. Atrgers spend so much time crang their necks at fugive hawks that, Macdonald rms , one seventeenth-century wrer clared falnry to be a moral activy on the ground that kept you lookg toward Heaven.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p class="paywall">Macdonald lights the argot of falnry, so ancient and exclive that feels like the words Merlyn might have ed his spells. But she relish, too, the matter-of-fact magic of avian blogy. Certa birds n perceive ultravlet lors, the separate wg beats of a bee, and the earth’s magic field, and goshawks, Macdonald tells , n “watch thermals of warm air rise, roil, and spill to clouds.” She also not that the bird’s volatile reputatn is partly due to nrology: the pathways between the goshawk’s sensory nrons and s motor nrons all but bypass the bra. “They react to stimuli lerally whout thkg,” Macdonald wr, and a whole lot of those stimuli n provoke their huntg stct: squeaky doors, passg bicycl, real pheasants, but also black-and-whe drawgs of them, Joan Sutherland on the rad. (“I lghed out loud at that,” Macdonald wr. “Stimul: <em>opera</em>. Rponse: <em>kill</em>.”) The other part of the goshawk’s bad reputatn, Macdonald pots out, down to class bias. Goshawks hunt well woods and require very ltle room to kill, whereas falns need the kd of open space that, historilly, was available only to those who owned manors. People who uld afford to keep falns looked down on those who uldn’t—and, by extensn, on the birds they kept stead.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR daRVRt persistent-asi" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="3kbn2b"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="r9ar5s"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">That helps expla why Mabel fails to live up to her fearsome reputatn. A character the book her own right, she do not e across as a psychopath; she across as a mixture of a Labrador retriever, an F-16, and Houdi. Chasg a rabb that turns and ns to the woods, she “slewed round slg-shot style, heel-bow, soakg up g-force like a sponge,” then “closed her wgs and was gone.” But at home she is pannable, cur, easy to tra, and, to Macdonald’s astonishment, playful. The two of them play tch wh cmpled piec of paper and peekaboo through a rolled-up magaze. “No one had ever told me goshawks played,” Macdonald wr. “I wonred if was bee no one had ever played wh them. The thought ma me terribly sad.”</p><p class="paywall">But Macdonald was already terribly sad; she was, fact, far more troubled and difficult than her bird. Macdonald had always been close to her father, who emerg the book as a kd, steady, unrstated man wh a sly streak. “My dad had been my dad,” she wr, “but also my iend, and a partner crime”: her pann the kd of legal but impish adventur to which a profsnal photographer and a poet-falner might cle. It seems a lovely relatnship, and Macdonald wr wh clary and heart about s loss. She unrstands grief’s paradoxil sence, which is the nstant prence of absence; there is an awful moment the book when, unable to remember a tail of a story about her father that she plans to tell at his memorial service, she picks up the phone to ll him. Months after his ath, she looks around at the woods, at her hawk, at her life, and feels nothg, or nothg good: “My heart is salt.”</p><p class="paywall">Such simplicy, such totaly. But what Macdonald handl so well on the page nearly undid her real life. At the time of her father’s ath, she had “no partner, no children, no home. No ne-to-five job eher.” Like a tent poorly staked, she is filled by the storm that is grief and blown away. Soon that disnnectn to seem sirable. Hurt by the human world, she wants nothg more to do wh . Instead, she longs to be like her bird: “solary, self-posssed, ee om grief.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">Th do hawkg, as Macdonald practic her bereavement, bee a zero-sum game: as the bird grows tamer, she grows wilr. She spends her days stalkg wh Mabel through field and fort, her pockets full of ad day-old chicks, snappg the necks of rabbs the bird would otherwise eat alive. She stops seeg iends, “jumped panic when the postman knocked on the door; reiled om the rgg phone.” She liv alone a hoe empty of ffee and filled wh lumps of raw meat. Before long, she is walkg that fe Lear le between grief and sany. Wound by ath, she vot herself to a pastime for which she mt kill daily. Drowng loss, she ms herself to a creature whose fg tra is the pacy to fly away.</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kKwZhx rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RponsiveCartoonWrapper-iTMMjI eXTYsS rponsive-rtoon AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset viewport-monor-anchor"><a class="external-lk rponsive-rtoon__image-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa RponsiveCartoonImage-hzNqyc ikeCcH rponsive-rtoon__image rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="“I dont know art but I know what I like.”" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></a><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE gdZTpI ptn RponsiveCartoonCaptn-dokfdF hJgaLQ rponsive-rtoon__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo bsWloa ptn__text">“I don’t know art, but I know what I like.”</span></div><div class="RponsiveCartoonCTA-eiqqMB iDCQRs"><div class="RponsiveCartoonCTAWrapper-CYIqa iTbFtf"><div class="RponsiveCartoonLkButtonWrapper-hqDAJK eSEhbj"><button aria-label="Copy lk to rtoon" class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv YsOBB button button--primary-pair RponsiveCartoonInButton-hBCBMq lpsjql" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Copy lk to rtoon</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="in in-pylk" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Copy lk to rtoon</tle><g clip-path="url(#clip0_3732_178637)"><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M16.3488 10.5017C16.2107 10.7357 16.2926 11.035 16.5318 11.17C16.7709 11.3052 17.0767 11.225 17.2148 10.991L18.4648 8.87225C19.5694 7.00002 18.9139 4.60601 17.0007 3.52508C15.0875 2.44415 12.6412 3.08562 11.5366 4.95785L9.53657 8.34782C8.432 10.22 9.08751 12.6141 11.0007 13.6949C11.1888 13.8012 11.382 13.8908 11.5785 13.9642C11.7819 14.0403 12.0058 13.9485 12.1147 13.764C12.2794 13.4849 12.1103 13.1276 11.8083 12.9992C11.7041 12.9549 11.6014 12.9044 11.5007 12.8475C10.0658 12.0368 9.57417 10.2413 10.4026 8.83712L12.4026 5.44715C13.2311 4.04298 15.0658 3.56187 16.5007 4.37257C17.9356 5.18327 18.4272 6.97878 17.5988 8.38295L16.3488 10.5017ZM7.6526 13.4983C7.79067 13.2643 7.70873 12.965 7.46959 12.8299C7.23044 12.6948 6.92464 12.775 6.78657 13.009L5.53657 15.1278C4.432 17 5.0875 19.394 7.00068 20.475C8.91385 21.5558 11.3602 20.9144 12.4648 19.0422L14.4648 15.6521C15.5694 13.78 14.9139 11.3859 13.0007 10.305C12.8127 10.1988 12.6195 10.1091 12.4229 10.0357C12.2195 9.95975 11.9956 10.0515 11.8867 10.236C11.7221 10.5151 11.8911 10.8724 12.1932 11.0008C12.2973 11.0451 12.4 11.0956 12.5007 11.1525C13.9356 11.9632 14.4272 13.7587 13.5988 15.1628L11.5988 18.5529C10.7704 19.957 8.93555 20.4382 7.50068 19.6274C6.0658 18.8167 5.57417 17.0212 6.4026 15.6171L7.6526 13.4983Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178637"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178637"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button><div class="AlertWrapper-gvFATk MdjE RponsiveCartoonLkAlertPopup-BPAXn kdMXRM shoppg-alert" role="dialog"><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertArrow-daOgye AlLda alert-arrow"></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm ifgabc cxFROy alert-msage"><p aria-hidn="te">Lk pied</p></div></div></div><button aria-label="Shop" class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv YsOBB button button--primary-pair RponsiveCartoonInButton-hBCBMq lpsjql" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Shop</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="in in-rt" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Shop</tle><g clip-path="url(#clip0_3732_178638)"><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M4 3H2V4H4.23828L6.99617 15.2631C7.11483 15.6982 7.50998 16 7.96094 16H18.0365C18.4875 16 18.8826 15.6982 19.0013 15.2631L20.9648 7.26312C21.1383 6.62698 20.6594 6 20 6H10V7H20L18.0365 15H7.96094L5.03652 3H4.58055H4ZM10.0365 19C10.0365 19.5523 9.58881 20 9.03652 20C8.48424 20 8.03652 19.5523 8.03652 19C8.03652 18.4477 8.48424 18 9.03652 18C9.58881 18 10.0365 18.4477 10.0365 19ZM11.0365 19C11.0365 20.1046 10.1411 21 9.03652 21C7.93195 21 7.03652 20.1046 7.03652 19C7.03652 17.8954 7.93195 17 9.03652 17C10.1411 17 11.0365 17.8954 11.0365 19ZM18.0365 19C18.0365 19.5523 17.5888 20 17.0365 20C16.4842 20 16.0365 19.5523 16.0365 19C16.0365 18.4477 16.4842 18 17.0365 18C17.5888 18 18.0365 18.4477 18.0365 19ZM19.0365 19C19.0365 20.1046 18.1411 21 17.0365 21C15.932 21 15.0365 20.1046 15.0365 19C15.0365 17.8954 15.932 17 17.0365 17C18.1411 17 19.0365 17.8954 19.0365 19Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button></div></div></div></span></div></figure><p class="paywall">The term “hoodwked” is closely associated wh falnry. For lennia, falners have slipped hoods over the heads of their birds, lmg their hair-trigger nervo systems by protectg them om excs exposure to the world. It is a morally muddy practice, simultaneoly necsary, passnate, and ceptive. Macdonald, her grief, acplish the unlikely act of hoodwkg herself wh a hawk. Wh Mabel on her fist, she is focsed and lm; whout her, she is angry, reactive, and sred. Rather than assuagg her heartache, she is simply evadg , soothg herself by hidg om the world. Eventually, she regniz the limatns of that strategy—bee she is emotnally astute, but also bee, back her hawk-obssed childhood, she had read about someone else who tried .</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Terence Hanbury Whe also got a goshawk to fill the void left by a beloved parent, but a different sense: he never had one. His mother and father hated each other and, on the evince, spised their son as well. Whe was beaten often, ddled rarely—when was tactilly nvenient for one parent or the other—and otherwise neglected or huiated. He fally went away to boardg school, but an upbrgg like his did not perm plete pe, then or ever. Macdonald shar a tellg tail: upon receivg a photograph of the young Whe, his mother wrote back to say that his lips were “growg sensual” and that he should hold them —wh his teeth, if need be. “It is so fatally easy,” Whe wrote of Lancelot “The Once and Future Kg,” “to make young children believe that they are horrible.”</p><p class="paywall">Whe did believe he was horrible. “I had a iend who was a sadistic homosexual, now happily married wh children,” he once wrote to L. J. Potts, his former Cambridge tutor, a mor classic of the genre of Askg for a Friend. Whe was himself a sadistic homosexual, and, those pre-Stonewall, pre-“Fifty Shas” days, his sir were a misery to him. They were also, as far as anyone n tell, unfulfilled. Whe had no known male lovers, and he was, if anythg, gentler than the standards of his time. In his twenti, he tght English at private boys’ schools, and, unlike most of his lleagu, refed to h his pupils—partly out of nvictn (he plored the notn that “the plex psychology of a human beg n be tght wh a stick”), but possibly also bee of how much he longed to do so. “He felt his heart celty and wardice,” Whe wrote, aga of Lancelot, “the thgs which ma him brave and kd.”</p><p class="paywall">Whe was thirty when he qu teachg, rented a b far om town, and got a goshawk. He wanted to spend his time wrg, but he also had a eper motive. “The bs of life,” he wrote, was “to divt onelf of unnecsary posssns, and maly of other people.” Like Macdonald, although more liberately, he ed the bird to engeer a retreat om the world. The day arrived, Whe ded wh iends, and then was “glad to shake off wh them the last of an old human life.” His new life would be wh and for the goshawk alone.</p><p class="paywall">The poor bird; the poor man. The only worthy thg to e out of their relatnship was “The Goshawk”—and that very nearly didn’t e out at all. Whe pleted the book 1937, but cled to publish until 1949, when an edor paid him a vis, sat on his sofa, found unfortable, and fished om unr the chn the abandoned mancript. He prevailed on Whe to let him publish , and the book me out 1951. In the Uned Stat, eventually went out of prt, and, for s, was difficult to fd. In 2007, New York Review Books remedied that suatn by brgg out an edn that prerv Whe’s many drawgs of hawk paraphernalia (part of the attractn of hawkg, one spects, was all the time spent wh leather and knots) and adds an troductn by Marie Wn, bt known for chroniclg the life of the red-tailed hawk Pale Male and s mate.</p><p class="paywall">Unlike Macdonald, Whe had no ia what he was dog when he acquired his goshawk. “I had never traed a ser hawk before, nor met a livg falner, nor seen a hawk that had been traed,” he wrote. “I had three books.” The one he relied on most was wrten 1619. It was a bad gui, Whe was a bad stunt, and, as for the hawk, before s trag was done broke s tether and flew away. I won’t reveal what beme of , but Whe’s book go slack at that pot, s own le broken as well.</p><p class="paywall">Until that moment, however, “The Goshawk” is tremendo. Whe has both a keen eye and a supple, surprisg md, and his observatns of the natural world often lend a ic pleasure to an otherwise dark book. A hawk that has killed a moe “rose leisurely over the hedge, rryg the body as a cy worker rried his attaché se.” Watchg his hawk hunt, a falner grows so volved that “ was like beg an onlooker at an athletic meetg who kicks to help the high-jumper.” After a passage about a hawk chasg a rabb, Whe, wonrfully at ease on the page, appends the stctns: “You mt read at the top of your voice, three sends, and you will see what was.”</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="n1f2bu"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">For a slim book, “The Goshawk” has, like s subject, a formidable wgspan. It is not que right to ll a draft of “The Once and Future Kg,” but is somethg close to a précis of the later book’s them: is about tnal systems, polil systems, medieval history, sire, vlence, ntrol of others, and ntrol of self. The last two, particular, domate the work, and Macdonald’s take is the right one. “Whe ma falnry a metaphysil battle,” she wr. “Like <em>Moby-Dick</em> or <em>The Old Man and the Sea,</em> <em>The Goshawk</em> was a lerary enunter between animal and man that reached back to Puran tradns of spirual ntt.” In keepg wh that tradn, what was at stake for Whe strgg was not his hawk but his soul. It is the prerogative of hawks to draw blood whout s. If Whe uld master the bird, he seemed to believe, he uld at once master and virly enjoy his own vlent urg.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">This stggle giv “The Goshawk” s stak, but also mak the book almost unbearably disturbg. In attemptg to intify wh the hawk, Whe only mak subject to his self-loathg. He nam the bird Gos but lls terrible thgs: ighteng, repulsive, dangero, hysteril, baleful, a monster, a savage, a snake, murro as Caligula—as Attila, as Od, as Death. “It was like beg handcuffed to a moron, I would thk bterly, a cha gang”; or was like sharg his home wh “a homicidal maniac.” That le might more reasonably have been wrten by the bird. Whe scrib his yearng to wrg s neck, bash s head to a gatepost, and subject to “the extreme torture served.”</p><p class="paywall">All this is ma more paful by the fact that Whe also genuely lov the hawk, and hat himself. He wr, wh light, of Gos takg his first bath, gettg his first se of hiccups, first g om afar to the fist. The book would not be half so hard to read if were not half-time tenr. But tenrns is not an attu that a man so prived of affectn n sta. Once, when the bird won’t stop batg, Whe fli to a rage and, vlatn of the first mandment of hawkg, liberately thwarts s effort to climb back up on his fist, forcg to rema danglg upsi down helpls terror. Afterward, Gos seems stunned to quicence, and Whe “stood dumbstck also, mobbed by most of the adly ss.” The war poet Siegied Sassoon, who had reason to regnize the rage, shame, nial, and self-jtifitn attendant upon acts of vlence, uld not fish “The Goshawk.” “I now flch om anythg ightful,” he wrote, “and what I read was agonizg.”</p><p class="paywall">Of all the falnry words we learn om Macdonald, the most potent one to appear “The Goshawk” is “manng.” It means to get a bird acctomed to beg around people, but there’s no pg s nnotatns. Macdonald is unmanned, her way—whout a father, whout a partner, cut off om what we ed to ll mankd—but, when Whe , the word tak on darker ton. To man somethg is to ntrol , as one mans a ship. It is also, implicly, to assert physil and sexual power. Whe knew that by ntemporary standards he was unmanned; he also knew the extent of his sire to exercise ntrol over others. He spised both aspects of himself, and spent his life fightg them. But a ptive hawk that p will eventually bee entangled s js, and Whe, attemptg to ee himself, found stead that he was ught up everythg that he hated. To pe the human world, he ma a wild animal ptive to ; to exorcise his vlence, he turned agast an nocent creature. Dpe himself, Whe wds up treatg Gos que as his parents had treated him: wh celty, price, and fatal neglect.</p><p class="paywall">Like “The Once and Future Kg,” “The Goshawk” is many kds of tale—a edy, a romance, a farce—but, the end, unmistakably, is a tragedy. Tragedi, the lerary sense of the word, do not happen to terrible people; they happen to cent people, terribly flawed. Whe, on the page, is sensive, funny, highly learned, wh a mandg moral pass and a spectacular md. Neher homicidal nor manial, he is more like the iend so troubled that no one n save him. “For the first time my life, I was absolutely ee,” he wr, upon movg to the b and acquirg Gos. And then, wh the terrified bird newly tethered and locked his barn: “I was as ee as a hawk.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Toward the end of “H Is for Hawk,” Macdonald reunts a story first rerd by Geofey of Monmouth the mid-twelfth century. Once upon a time, the story go, there was a Welsh kg who fought a terrible battle and, the urse of , lost many close iends. Grief-stricken, he fled to the fort, where he lived “like a wild animal . . . fetful of himself and of his kdred.” That Welsh kg was Merlyn. Eventually, he emerged, but the impulse of the anguished to flee to nature would persist across the centuri. “Earth hath no sorrows,” John Muir once wrote, “that earth nnot heal.” If that is a cure, is homeopathic; for the solate and lonely, only wilrns and solu.</p><p class="paywall">Figuratively speakg, Whe never found his way out of the woods. He moved om place to place, evad his tax, evad a lot of thgs. He wrote some twenty-odd books but is remembered today mostly for “The Once and Future Kg,” which he hid himself ocsnally as Arthur, more often as Merlyn, but above all as Lancelot, the ill-ma knight who was for a time the bt the world at his craft yet rried wh him a shame so old and ep that he uld not even name . In the end, the legend holds, Lancelot go to live penence a hermage, while the kg, mortally wound, is set adrift on a ship—to one day rise aga. Whe died at the age of fifty-seven, on a boat the Aegean Sea. “I expect to make rather a good ath,” he’d wrten two years earlier. “The sence of ath is lonels, and I have had plenty of practice at this.”</p><p class="paywall">Macdonald’s story has a different endg. One day, crouchg over a rabb she has jt killed, feelg like “an executner after a thoand aths,” she to see that she has been travellg wh her hawk not further om grief but further om life. Sred by her own numbns and darkns, she begs to seek help: om lovg relativ, attentive iends, morn psychopharmalogy—all the advantag she had that Whe did not. Slowly, her grief starts to lift. As do, she fds that she disagre wh Merlyn and Muir. “The wild is not a panacea for the human soul,” she wr. “Too much the air n rro to nothg.” All along, she had wanted to be her hawk: fierce, solary, human. Instead, she now realiz, “I was the figure standg unrneath the tree at nightfall, llar upturned agast the damp, wag patiently for the hawk to return.” Her father, she knows, will never rejo the human world. But she n. Like a figure a myth who followed a hawk to the land of the ad, Macdonald turns around and home.</p><p class="paywall">There is a precent for this. After Merlyn fds the Wart the woods, he tch the wayward goshawk, then acpani the boy back home and be his tutor. His is an odd sort of schoolg, nsistg mostly of direct ethics lsons acplished by turng the boy to var animals: a perch, an ant, a badger. The Wart regards this as a huge improvement over logic and Lat, and one eveng, when he is sperately bored, he go to Merlyn and begs for another lson. Perhaps, he suggts, he uld be turned to a hawk.</p><p class="paywall">To want to be a hawk: “That is pretty amb,” Merlyn observ. Eventually, he will grant the requt, and the goshawk that the Wart followed to the woods will try to kill him. But, for now, the magician puts his stunt off. “You shall be everythg the world, animal, vegetable, meral, protista or vis, for all I re—before I have done wh you,” he tells the boy. But, he ntu, the time has not yet e to try to be a hawk. And so, he says, “you may as well s down for the moment and learn to be a human beg.” ♦</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="1x52o8"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><footer class="ContentFooterMagazeDisclaimer-gzKAqo iZIuUU" data-ttid="MagazeDisclaimerWrapper">Published the prt edn of the <a href="/magaze/2015/03/09" data-reactroot="">March 9, 2015</a>, issue.</footer></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu GWFsc ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"><div class="ContributorBWrapper-bnVHbt gMon"><div class="ContributorBAvatar-bIGTqf eMWbvj"><a href="/ntributors/kathryn-schulz"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span></a></div><div class="ContributorBContent-ubQdr jZTSSi"><div class="ContributorBHear-ledood XOIEx"></div><div class="ContributorBB-fBolsO giFhKz"><a href="/ntributors/kathryn-schulz">Kathryn Schulz</a>, a staff wrer at The New Yorker, won the 2016 Pulzer Prize for feature wrg. Her latt book is “<a href=">Lost & Found</a>.”</div><div class="ContributorBFooter-brqDlv ezUmSv"></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div data-ttid="ContentFooterBottom" class="ContentFooterBottom-jwWZfC kcbyiW"><div class="ContentFooterNewsletterContentWrapper-bmjtna kixtae"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div data-ttid="NewsletterSubscribeFormWrapper" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormWrapper-fCqqkN jKSBhE newsletter-subscribe-form ContentFooterNewsletterForm-hKeYwa liPqcf"><div data-ttid="NewsletterSubscribeFormHedDekWrapper" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormHedDekWrapper-fpMElW eglIBL"><h3 class="NewsletterSubscribeFormDangeroHed-kRwWjt kbxOa-D newsletter-subscribe-form__hed ContentFooterNewsletterForm-hKeYwa liPqcf">Books & Fictn</h3><div class="NewsletterSubscribeFormDek-kXonvc cKOhTM newsletter-subscribe-form__k">Short stori and poems, pl thor terviews, profil, and tal om the world of lerature.</div></div><div data-ttid="NewsletterSubscribeFormInputsWrapper" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormInputsWrapper-keARJE hVWbzr"><form class="form-wh-validatn NewsletterSubscribeFormValidatn-iCYa-Dt dweEln" id="newsletter" name="newsletter" novalidate="" method="POST"><span class="TextFieldWrapper-Pzdqp hNhevp text-field" data-ttid="TextFieldWrapper__email"><label class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TextFieldLabel-klrYvg iUEiRd stdEm fvoOvz text-field__label text-field__label--sgle-le" for="newsletter-text-field-email" data-ttid="TextFieldLabel__email"><div class="TextFieldLabelText-cvvxBl eeDYTb">E-mail addrs</div><div class="TextFieldInputContaer-jcMPhb oFrOs"><put type="email" aria-scribedby="privacy-text" aria-valid="false" id="newsletter-text-field-email" required="" name="email" placeholr="E-mail addrs" class="BaseInput-fAzTdK TextFieldControlInput-eFUxkf eGzzTT laFPCK text-field__ntrol text-field__ntrol--put" data-ttid="TextFieldInput__email"/></div></label><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv dwpimO button button--utily TextFieldButton-csBrgY edxbrw" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" type="subm"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN hzwRuG button__label">Sign up</span></button></span><div id="privacy-text" tabx="-1" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormDisclaimer-bTVtiV bsgLJZ"><span><p>By signg up, you agree to our <a href=" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">User Agreement</a> and <a href=" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Privacy Policy & Cookie Statement</a>. This se is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google<a href=" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> Privacy Policy</a> and<a href=" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> Terms of Service</a> apply.</p></span></div></form></div></div></div></div></div><div class="ntent-bottom-anchor"></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-footer" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-footer"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="recirc-list-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan ContentFooterRelated-kEBiFe kVUuwq"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 SummaryCollectnGridComponent-ktyEog bdTTVU summary-llectn-grid RecircListDefltOverlaySummaryCollectnGrid-AHJhY bEaXiL recirc-list__ems summary-llectn-grid--four-lumns summary-llectn-grid--DenseDktopStack"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="SummaryCollectnGridContent-eVUpRm jTGbEO"><div class="SectnTleRoot-dBGvdq kjAxEG SummaryCollectnGridSectnTle-fCmYwG izjbVn" data-ttid="SectnTle"><hear class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SectnTleHed-dKqZet dxqEAa dqtvfu jttyjJ">Read More</hear></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridItems-DZShR eOCboB hi-read-more-ad" data-ttid="SummaryCollectnGridItems"><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff hlYhBH summary-em summary-em--article summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eamwqR" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/magaze/2014/04/07/fal-forms" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Fal Forms" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl ldWYvC summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Dept. of Public Health</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/magaze/2014/04/07/fal-forms" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Fal Forms</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/magaze/2014/04/07/fal-forms" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Fal Forms" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">What ath certifit n tell , and what they n’t.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Kathryn Schulz</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff hlYhBH summary-em summary-em--article summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eamwqR" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/culture/cultural-ment/the-rabb-hole-rabb-hole" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Rabb-Hole Rabb Hole" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl ldWYvC summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Cultural Comment</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/culture/cultural-ment/the-rabb-hole-rabb-hole" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Rabb-Hole Rabb Hole</div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Kathryn Schulz</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff hlYhBH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eamwqR" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="On Killg Charl Dickens" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl ldWYvC summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Life and Letters</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">On Killg Charl Dickens</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="On Killg Charl Dickens" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">I did everythg I uld to avoid wrg my historil novel. When I fally started “The Frd,” one prciple was clear: no Dickens.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Zadie Smh</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff hlYhBH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eamwqR" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Novelist Whose Inventns Went Too Far" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl ldWYvC summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Life and Letters</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Novelist Whose Inventns Went Too Far</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Novelist Whose Inventns Went Too Far" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">After the Ao-Cuban wrer H. G. Carrillo died, his hband learned that almost everythg the wrer had shared about his life was ma up—cludg his Cuban inty.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>D. T. Max</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eamwqR ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="613up"></div></div></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridToActnWrapper-gnReGN eGayfk"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="TaboolaWrapper-hMVdpE iYfBhy"><div class="TaboolaWidgetWrapper-egPIjc hkSrgt TaboolaWidget-eUSdED hQCCRa" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetWrapper"><div class="TaboolaWidgetContent-iBEQTO eXroXG TABOOLA" id="taboola-below-article-thumbnails---f" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetContent"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--footer should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--footer" data-no-id="te09a5"></div></div></div></div></div></ma><div class="BasePageMaFooterFiller-hTlZph jSriYf page__ma-footer-filler"></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--cm-footer" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--cm-footer"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan BasePageSeFooterRow-kpEBGH rjBtU"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 BasePageSeFooterRowGrid-iBGjXL zQNeb"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><footer class="SeFooterWrapper-bXjkRY gKJGws se-footer--wh-store"><div class="SeFooterGridNoMargs-jSrXSj cQgGDp" data-ttid="SeFooterGridNoMargs"><div class="SeFooterBrandInfo-cdoqKy cdkwFG"><div class="SeFooterLogo-eYlNHY eigdAF se-footer__logo"><a href="/"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset SeFooterLogoRponsiveAsset-ckjzWk kubVDn se-footer__rponsive-image"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SeFooterLogoRponsiveAsset-ckjzWk kubVDn se-footer__rponsive-image rponsive-image"><img alt="The New Yorker" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="/verso/static/the-new-yorker/assets/" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/></picture></span></a></div></div><nav aria-label="Sectns" class="NavigatnWrapper-bFftAs fKSZRK SeFooterNavigatnVertil-eawNCf hgahMe" data-ttid="navigatn"><p data-ttid="navigatn__headg" class="NavigatnHeadgWrapper-befTuI kSFYXD navigatn__headg"><button data-ttid="navigatn__headg-button" type="button" aria-expand="false" class="NavigatnHeadgButton-eDVixB fiYwDK">Sectns<span data-ttid="navigatn__headg-arrow" class="NavigatnHeadgArrow-iJeTMa gGaHQm"></span></button></p><ul class="NavigatnListWrapper-gWXLVS fSEziN navigatn__list" data-ttid="navigatn__list"><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/news" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">News</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/culture" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Books & Culture</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/fictn-and-poetry" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Fictn & Poetry</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/humor" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Humor & Cartoons</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/magaze" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Magaze</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/crossword-puzzl-and-gam" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Crossword</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href=" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Vio</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/podst" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Podsts</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/archive" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Archive</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/gogs-on-about-town" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Gogs On</a></li></ul></nav><span class="NavigatnDivir-fEDnwq ixXXMs navigatn__divir"></span><nav aria-label="More" class="NavigatnWrapper-bFftAs fKSZRK SeFooterNavigatnContactVertil-kReQvb ejvbAv" data-ttid="navigatn"><p data-ttid="navigatn__headg" class="NavigatnHeadgWrapper-befTuI kSFYXD navigatn__headg"><button data-ttid="navigatn__headg-button" type="button" aria-expand="false" class="NavigatnHeadgButton-eDVixB fiYwDK">More<span data-ttid="navigatn__headg-arrow" class="NavigatnHeadgArrow-iJeTMa gGaHQm"></span></button></p><ul class="NavigatnListWrapper-gWXLVS fSEziN navigatn__list" data-ttid="navigatn__list"><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href=" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Ctomer Care</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href=" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Shop The New Yorker</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href=" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Buy Covers and Cartoons</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href=" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Condé Nast Store</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/digal-edns" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Digal Accs</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/newsletter" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Newsletters</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/jigsaw" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Jigsaw Puzzle</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD JsNkg navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/about/feeds" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">RSS</a></li></ul></nav><span class="NavigatnDivir-fEDnwq ixXXMs navigatn__divir"></span><div class="SeFooterNoticWrapper-gbuTHd kdRVhS"><div class="SeFooterNoticContaerWrapper-cQMYXm jYCnSe"><nav aria-label="Notic" class="NavigatnWrapper-bFftAs fKSZRK SeFooterNavigatnHorizontal-cWLRMH eTQAIE" data-ttid="navigatn"><ul class="NavigatnListWrapper-gWXLVS dnLcIy navigatn__list" data-ttid="navigatn__list"><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/about/" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">About</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/about/reers" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Careers</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/about/ntact" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Contact</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/about/faq" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">F.A.Q.</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href=" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Media K</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/about/prs" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Prs</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/about/accsibily-help" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" rel="nofollow" role="lk">Accsibily Help</a></li></ul></nav><span class="NavigatnDivir-fEDnwq ixXXMs navigatn__divir"></span><p data-ttid="dangero-legale-brand-text" class="SeFooterLegaleText-bquxSW eUChdN">© <!-- -->2023<!-- --> Condé Nast. All rights rerved. Use of this se nstut acceptance of our<!-- --> <a class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">User Agreement</a> and <a class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement</a> and <a class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Your California Privacy Rights.</a> <em>The New Yorker</em> may earn a portn of sal om products that are purchased through our se as part of our Affiliate Partnerships wh retailers. The material on this se may not be reproduced, distributed, transmted, ched or otherwise ed, except wh the prr wrten permissn of Condé Nast.<!-- --> <a class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Ad Choic</a></p><div class="SeFooterCollectnContaer-iKPzYu cUTUWM"></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV hwdgCG social-ins social-ins--footer SeFooterSocialIns-cLAKVY cPpkaJ"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA gBoIvv social-ins__list"><li class="SocialInsListItem-mbhR izQXJd social-ins__list-em social-ins__list-em--facebook social-ins__list-em--footer thner"><a aria-label="Follow on Facebook" class="external-lk SocialInExternalLk-huuzOU kupRzT social-ins__lk social-ins__lk--facebook" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><div class="SocialInContaer-huXzUC pMzVC social-ins__in-ntaer"><svg class="SocialInNetworkInComponent-cZaKGz dlOAhZ in in-facebook" focable="false" width="7.2" height="16" viewBox="0 0 7.2 16" xmlns="><tle>Facebook

kathryn schulz gay

Contents:

HOW ONE MOTHER’S LOVE FOR HER GAY SON STARTED A REVOLUTN

Wh gay story l regularly poppg up on primetime TV and high-profile celebri regularly g out, the act of g out self don't seem like such a revelatory event anymore:"The g-out story might be to the late twentieth century what the marriage plot was to Victorian tim: a story le ma relevant by social nventns, often reprsive on--and then, as those nventns erod, ma irrelevant aga. By the end of her sophomore year, the reverse of today’s joke about llege, she had lost fifteen pounds and was sufferg om malnutrn.

'WE'RE NOT HIDG': GAY AND LBIAN RSIANS SAY A CULTURAL SHIFT IS UNRWAY

She was rryg a piece of orange poster board wh a msage hand-lettered black marker: “PARENTS of GAYS: UNITE SUPPORT fOR oUR CHILDREN.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* KATHRYN SCHULZ GAY

'We're not hidg': Gay and lbian Rsians say a cultural shift is unrway .

TOP