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class="PersistentBottomWrapper-eddooY bIieWF persistent-bottom" data-journey-hook="persistent-bottom"><asi class="PaywallBarWrapper-hbEokK kqItQt paywall-bar"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut paywall-barnsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-bar-ll-to-actn" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--paywall-bar-ll-to-actn"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH pagema-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs ugnAo ntent-hear articlentent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp jbzVNV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT kkDiIx"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX dZhWBL bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fgWnkQ briclk" href="/magaze/books"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Books</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd NbxED hpJvIc">What Gog Off the Grid Really Looks Like</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hearaccredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ Mtme">In “Cheap Land Colorado,” Ted Conover hunkers down a valley that has bee a mag for dreamers and the disposssed alike.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa gvUmxJ"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ivtvgj byle bylbyle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU bylename"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss bylepreamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd ggMZaT cXqSTL eErqIx bylename-lk button" href="/ntributors/kathryn-schulz">Kathryn Schulz</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2022-11-21T06:00:00-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd kYZrFA iINaCX">November 21, 2022</time></div></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-assetntentphoto"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz HgOn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="People standg outsi a trailer the mountas." class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src="></picture></div></div></span></div></figure></div><div class="ContentHearLeadContentFullWidth-cvJzX hHaBOT"><figure class="ContentHearLeadContentCaptnCred-hSIIqJ kQVfzg"><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE iTuhkZ ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN kuCzGS"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo iXWezO ptntext">Though roughly the size of New Jersey, the San Luis Valley is home to fewer than fifty thoand people.</span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd iicloT jbIJNS ptncred">Illtratn by Eiano Ponzi</span></div></figure></div></div></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kbAoLA article-bodyntent"><div class="ActnBarWrapperContent-lasBkU cAHp"><div class="ActnBarWrapperComponent-cjwxLS bEeSLb"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh kNjTbQ viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save this story" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU hQrwCF bookmark large-screen"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill" d="M20 23.9508L12.5 19.7312L5 23.9508V2.95081H14V3.93211H6V22.1845L12.5 18.5536L19 22.1845V8.83866H20V23.9508Z"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill" d="M23 3H20V0H19V3H16V4H19V7H20V4H23V3Z"></path></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd bkefvo gkccfO">Save this story</span></button></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh kAEsuD viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save this story" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU cjjxgx bookmark mobile"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill" d="M20 23.9508L12.5 19.7312L5 23.9508V2.95081H14V3.93211H6V22.1845L12.5 18.5536L19 22.1845V8.83866H20V23.9508Z"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill" d="M23 3H20V0H19V3H16V4H19V7H20V4H23V3Z"></path></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd bkefvo gkccfO">Save this story</span></button></div></div></div><div class="LightboxWrapper-dxsWBV hhylRt"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG Uozmo"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa EOneK body bodyntaer articlebody" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="bodyner-ntaer"><figure data-ttid="IameEmbed" class="IameEmbedWrapper-sc-dRedg cjyRVU iame-embed"><div data-ttid="IameEmbedContaer" class="IameEmbedContaer-hptgUZ fXVBaX"><div class="IameEmbedAspectRatWrapper-hFVJps BKpgQ"><iame class="IameEmbedContent-cMdiev csnuAY IameEmbedContent lazyload" height="90" width="100%" sandbox="allow-scripts allow-same-orig allow-popups" tle="Embedd Frame" data-src=" allowfullscreen="" allow="toplay ; encrypted-media ; clipboard-wre; toplay; fullscreen; picture--picture"></iame></div></div></figure><p class="has-dropp has-dropplead-standard-headg paywall">“In the Uned Stat,” Gert Ste once observed, “there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is.” That was te 1936, when she wrote “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">The Geographil History of Ameri</a>,” and remas so today. The numbers are startlg, and not only if you live someplace like the Upper East Si of Manhattan, wh your hundred thoand neighbors per square e. Add up all the veloped areas the fifty stat—the ci and suburbs and exurbs and towns, the highways and railways and back roads, the orchards and veyards and fay farms, the ncentrated animal feedlots, the rnfields and wheat fields and soybeans and shum—and will amount to a fifth of our natn. What is all the rt? Forts, wetlands, rangeland, tundra, glaciers, barrens, bodi of water of one kd or another. If you don a bldfold, throw a dart at a map of the untry, and m to livg where lands, you will most likely end up alone, the middle of nowhere.</p><p class="paywall">All that open space has an endurg hold on the Amerin imagatn. There’s a reason serv as the backdrop for so many polil ads and pickup-tck mercials: reprents the ill-fed notn of liberty that we claim as our foundg ial, and functns as a kd of llective backup plan should some ccial opportuny or exigency arise—a place to prove our mettle, a place to start over, a place to which, if ph me to shove, we might flee and never be found. Most of do not put this proposn to the tt. But, by choice or chance or lack of any other optn, a handful of people really do wd up tryg to make a life somewhere the almost eighty per cent of Ameri that is sentially unveloped land.</p><p class="paywall">Some of those people are the subject of Ted Conover’s “<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Cheap Land Colorado: Off-Gridrs at Ameri’s Edge</a>” (Knopf). Conover, who was raised Denver and is now a profsor of journalism at New York Universy, might be thought of as a reporter the Gee Plimpton mold; to wre about his subjects, he prefers to spar their rgs and scrimmage on their fields. Unlike Plimpton, however, he sticks around for months or years, often unr distctly unfortable circumstanc. For a book about morn-day hobo (“<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Rollg Nowhere</a>”), he learned to hop eight tras and spent months ridg the rails; for a book about undocumented immigrants (“<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Coyot</a>”), he lived wh Mexins on both sis of the borr, pickg u cs orchards and travellg across the Sonoran Dert and the R Gran; for a book about the New York State prison system (“<a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Newjack</a>”), he got a job as a rrectns officer and worked for a year si Sg Sg.</p><div class="GenericCalloutWrapper-tojWn cBtRxy llout--has-top-borr" data-ttid="GenericCallout"><div class="ExternalLkEmbedWrapper-hNDkqw cDXXLC" data-ttid="external-lk-embed--le"><div class="ExternalLkEmbedText-glBTSy gRKpCf"><a aria-label="<strong>The Bt Books We Read This Week</strong>" class="external-lk external-lk-embed__hed-lk button" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ExternalLkEmbedHed-dSIMOS iUEiRd zdLg gsZLZF"><strong>The Bt Books We Read This Week</strong></span></a><p class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ExternalLkEmbedDek-btrWcN iUEiRd kxnNhB jwHNCY"><em>Read our reviews of notable new fictn and nonfictn, updated every Wednday.</em></p></div><a aria-label="<strong>The Bt Books We Read This Week</strong>" class="external-lk external-lk-embed__image-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ExternalLkEmbedRponsiveImage-iGydLQ dGzCDw rponsive-image"><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src=" srcSet=" 120w" siz="100vw"/></picture></a></div></div><p class="paywall">Then me November 8, 2016. The day before the electn, Conover had clared on a rad program that Donald Tmp would never w the Princy; afterward, like untls other members of the media, he was stunned to the nvictn that he no longer unrstood his patrts and need to embark on a grand reëdutn. In keepg wh a long tradn of believg that the immensy and wildns of our natn hold the key to s sential character, he found himself thkg about the least populated parts of his home state. “The Amerin firmament was shiftg ways I need to unrstand,” he wr the new book. And so, eager to learn more about his fellow-cizens, Conover head wt, to a place where almost none of them live.</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropplead-standard-headg paywall">The cheap land of “Cheap Land Colorado” is the south-central part of the state, a regn known as the San Luis Valley. The largt alpe valley the world, has an average elevatn of more than seven and a half thoand feet, a uple of thoand feet higher than the Mile High Cy. Although is parable size to New Jersey, which has a populatn of 9.3 ln, the valley is home to fewer than fifty thoand people, around ten thoand of whom live a sgle town, Alamosa. Most of the remag rints live other, smaller towns, but some of them—maybe around a thoand people, although no one seems to know for sure—live sttered across an enormo area of the valley known as “the flats.” Nearly all the people Conover meets on the flats are poor, yet they generally own their own land. In fact, most of them were drawn to the area bee is possible to buy a piece of Ameri there for rock-bottom pric—typilly, somewhere between five hundred and a thoand dollars per acre, or roughly half what you’re likely to pay for a sgle square foot Manhattan.</p><p class="paywall">There is a hch, of urse. The flats posss almost no astcture: no electricy, no water, no sewer system, no pavement, prec ltle Inter or cell service, and a long drive on dirt roads unknown to most mapmakers for jobs or schools or medil re or a gallon of k. Most of the people Conover meets live trailers, sometim gmented wh sheds and shacks; they buy tanks of propane and two-hundred-and-seventy-five-gallon dms of water, rely on generators or solar panels for electricy, burn their trash barrels, and e outho for human waste. A signifint number of them, takg advantage of Colorado’s lax dg laws (if also equently bendg them), grow marijuana.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-unslot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p class="paywall">All this is somewhat surprisg, bee the San Luis Valley has many of the hallmarks of a lovely—and pricey—place to live. It has a dry climate, enjoys nearly two hundred and fifty days of sunshe a year, and boasts spectacular views: to the east, Great Sand Dun Natnal Park, and, towerg behd , the Sangre Cristos; to the wt, the snowpped peaks of the San Juan Mountas. The weather is ld, but not atypil for the Rocky Mounta Wt, and the water rourc are plentiful by sert standards. Nothg, other words, mak the valley trsilly ls appealg than, say, the sert land around Joshua Tree, California, where five acr might n you a quarter of a ln dollars.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">Conover keeps his rears wag for too long, almost half the book, before sayg anythg about how the San Luis Valley me to be a mag for the disposssed. That story—about greed, grift, crly, and the great Amerin yearng to own thgs—begs after the Send World War, when velopers started acquirg unveloped land, rebrandg as rintial, and subdividg to lots for sgle-fay hom. The hont on ma the land livable before sellg off, puttg everythg om roads and utili to ho, swimmg pools, and golf urs. The dishont on did not, which is how people around the untry, dreamg of retirg sunny Florida, wound up buyg a piece of unhabable swampland.</p><p class="paywall">This subdivisn craze reached southern Colorado the neteen-seventi, when velopers began buyg up enormo swaths of the valley and givg them nam like R Gran Ranch. One pair of savvy bsmen staked out property l for an timated forty thoand five-acre lots, grad the roads meant to nnect them, and then did absolutely nothg else, except profligately promote their product. They placed ads <em>TV Gui</em> and newspapers natnwi, promisg “spectacular sports and outdoor adventure,” “game galore,” and “Healthful Sunbright Ski”; they bought up lists of people who had purchased rifl or Wtern novels or subscriptns to huntg magaz, then sent them mailers hawkg five acr for unr two grand sh, or thirty dollars a month at six-per-cent tert. The tactics worked: a stunng number of people bought land the flats sight unseen. One salman relled, “That guy Illois would tell his neighbors, ‘Yep, I jt bought a ranch Colorado. I’m gonna n out there this summer and check out.’ ”</p><p class="paywall">Those neighbors might have been imprsed, but the Feral Tra Commissn was not. The advertisements suggted that land the San Luis Valley was a good vtment, which, given the absence of ameni, was plaly unte: unhappy buyers uld not sell their parcels for what they had paid, if they uld sell them at all. In 1979, unr prsure om the feral ernment, the velopers agreed to ncel all outstandg bts and refund as much as fourteen ln dollars. But they never ma any further improvements, wh the rult that, a half century after those origal lots were surveyed, land the San Luis Valley, unlike the vast majory of real tate Ameri, has appreciated almost not at all.</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropplead-standard-headg paywall">“Cheap Land Colorado” opens wh a problem. Conover wants to meet the off-gridrs of the San Luis Valley, but many of them live there precisely bee they do not want to be met—a preference they sometim broadst, he wr, “by closg their driveway wh a gate, or by chag a dog next to their ont door, or by postg a sign wh a rifle-spe motif that says, ‘If you n read this you’re wh range!’ ” As a way around this prevailg spicn of strangers, he starts volunteerg for an outreach program n by a social-service anizatn lled La Puente, based Alamosa and wily rpected around the valley. In this pacy, he driv around the flats a pickup tck wh the group’s signia on s si, visg properti, troducg himself to their owners, and, as a more or ls leral icebreaker, offerg them ee firewood. (In the valley, as an Annie Proulx story, eezg to ath is an ever-prent possibily.)</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p class="paywall">This strategy pays off, that Conover’s book is full of remarkable characters. The clu Frank and Stacy, who live threadbare but cheerful chaos a mobile home wh their five homchooled dghters, a ckatoo, var dogs, and, outsi, goats, a pig, ducks, and, soon enough, Conover himself, who pays them a hundred and fifty dollars a month to park his newly acquired trailer on their land. There is also Pl, a gay guy who has lived the flats for more than a quarter of a century—long enough to raise up om saplg-hood a ltle grove of Che elms, the envy of other rints a part of the valley almost entirely void of tre. There is Zahra, who moved om the Chigo area to help start an Ain-natnalist group, got fed up wh the would-be lear’s dishonty and his half-fished home, squatted elsewhere the flats for six months, and then fell love wh a whe rancher who grew up the valley. There is Le, who intifi as havg Asperger’s syndrome, excels at fixg anythg electronic, pans for gold the nearby mountas, and dreams of makg money by sellg goat k, heirloom tomato, and homema chee. There is Nick, a reprentative example of a lol speci known as a prairie rat: “a person who uld probably get a mimum-wage job somewhere if he wanted to but preferred jt to hang out, subsist, keep a low profile, and do the dgs that ma him happy.” There is a namels genr-nonnformg uple who are wily disliked, partly for their self-prentatn but also bee they are mored to be okg meth their trailer and are ught pumpg water om the R Gran, which is illegal and, the valley, almost the greater actn. There are people is impossible not to spise, like Zane, a tattoo artist om Alabama who, together wh a iend, flnts his disregard for ernment and law enforcement until they are both arrted on charg of sexually abg their dghters; people is impossible not to py, like Geneva, whose hband and son die wh six months of each other, the latter after g too close to an electril le; and people is impossible not to admire, like Teotenantz Ruybal, stern, steady, and passnate, who ns a homels shelter that serv rints of the flats when a crisis stras their already meagre rourc or a trailer prov no match for the high-sert wter.</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embedasset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kKwZhx rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embedrponsive-asset"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RponsiveCartoonWrapper-iTMMjI eXTYsS rponsive-rtoon AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embedrponsive-asset viewport-monor-anchor"><a class="external-lk rponsive-rtoonimage-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa RponsiveCartoonImage-hzNqyc ikeCcH rponsive-rtoonimage rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="Police officer looks down and notic that the doomsday clock is unplugged." class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></a><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE iTuhkZ ptn RponsiveCartoonCred-bKlQqO faLAFb rponsive-rtooncred"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd iicloT bmQtfn ptncred">Cartoon by P. 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Vey</span></div><div class="RponsiveCartoonCTA-eiqqMB iDCQRs"><div class="RponsiveCartoonCTAWrapper-CYIqa iTbFtf"><div class="RponsiveCartoonLkButtonWrapper-hqDAJK eSEhbj"><button aria-label="Copy lk to rtoon" class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv YsOBB button button--primary-pair RponsiveCartoonInButton-hBCBMq lpsjql" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg buttonlabel">Copy lk to rtoon</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT buttonin-ntaer"><svg class="in in-pylk" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Copy lk to rtoon</tle><g clip-path="url(#clip0_3732_178637)"><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M16.3488 10.5017C16.2107 10.7357 16.2926 11.035 16.5318 11.17C16.7709 11.3052 17.0767 11.225 17.2148 10.991L18.4648 8.87225C19.5694 7.00002 18.9139 4.60601 17.0007 3.52508C15.0875 2.44415 12.6412 3.08562 11.5366 4.95785L9.53657 8.34782C8.432 10.22 9.08751 12.6141 11.0007 13.6949C11.1888 13.8012 11.382 13.8908 11.5785 13.9642C11.7819 14.0403 12.0058 13.9485 12.1147 13.764C12.2794 13.4849 12.1103 13.1276 11.8083 12.9992C11.7041 12.9549 11.6014 12.9044 11.5007 12.8475C10.0658 12.0368 9.57417 10.2413 10.4026 8.83712L12.4026 5.44715C13.2311 4.04298 15.0658 3.56187 16.5007 4.37257C17.9356 5.18327 18.4272 6.97878 17.5988 8.38295L16.3488 10.5017ZM7.6526 13.4983C7.79067 13.2643 7.70873 12.965 7.46959 12.8299C7.23044 12.6948 6.92464 12.775 6.78657 13.009L5.53657 15.1278C4.432 17 5.0875 19.394 7.00068 20.475C8.91385 21.5558 11.3602 20.9144 12.4648 19.0422L14.4648 15.6521C15.5694 13.78 14.9139 11.3859 13.0007 10.305C12.8127 10.1988 12.6195 10.1091 12.4229 10.0357C12.2195 9.95975 11.9956 10.0515 11.8867 10.236C11.7221 10.5151 11.8911 10.8724 12.1932 11.0008C12.2973 11.0451 12.4 11.0956 12.5007 11.1525C13.9356 11.9632 14.4272 13.7587 13.5988 15.1628L11.5988 18.5529C10.7704 19.957 8.93555 20.4382 7.50068 19.6274C6.0658 18.8167 5.57417 17.0212 6.4026 15.6171L7.6526 13.4983Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178637"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178637"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button><div class="AlertWrapper-gvFATk MdjE RponsiveCartoonLkAlertPopup-BPAXn kdMXRM shoppg-alert" role="dialog"><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertArrow-daOgye AlLda alert-arrow"></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm ifgabc iOlxjf alert-msage"><p aria-hidn="te">Lk pied</p></div></div></div><button aria-label="Shop" class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv YsOBB button button--primary-pair RponsiveCartoonInButton-hBCBMq lpsjql" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg buttonlabel">Shop</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT buttonin-ntaer"><svg class="in in-rt" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Shop</tle><g clip-path="url(#clip0_3732_178638)"><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M4 3H2V4H4.23828L6.99617 15.2631C7.11483 15.6982 7.50998 16 7.96094 16H18.0365C18.4875 16 18.8826 15.6982 19.0013 15.2631L20.9648 7.26312C21.1383 6.62698 20.6594 6 20 6H10V7H20L18.0365 15H7.96094L5.03652 3H4.58055H4ZM10.0365 19C10.0365 19.5523 9.58881 20 9.03652 20C8.48424 20 8.03652 19.5523 8.03652 19C8.03652 18.4477 8.48424 18 9.03652 18C9.58881 18 10.0365 18.4477 10.0365 19ZM11.0365 19C11.0365 20.1046 10.1411 21 9.03652 21C7.93195 21 7.03652 20.1046 7.03652 19C7.03652 17.8954 7.93195 17 9.03652 17C10.1411 17 11.0365 17.8954 11.0365 19ZM18.0365 19C18.0365 19.5523 17.5888 20 17.0365 20C16.4842 20 16.0365 19.5523 16.0365 19C16.0365 18.4477 16.4842 18 17.0365 18C17.5888 18 18.0365 18.4477 18.0365 19ZM19.0365 19C19.0365 20.1046 18.1411 21 17.0365 21C15.932 21 15.0365 20.1046 15.0365 19C15.0365 17.8954 15.932 17 17.0365 17C18.1411 17 19.0365 17.8954 19.0365 19Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button></div></div></div></span></div></figure><p class="paywall">Ruybal grew up the San Luis Valley, but most of the other people “Cheap Land Colorado” arrived there later life, generally propelled by the kds of forc—grief, stutn, divorce, addictn, abily to f , outstandg warrants—that produce eher profound ertia or a tenncy to drift. One such person is Matt Ltle, a La Puente employee who, addn to the many other ways he helps Conover—trag him for his volunteer work, hchg up the trailer he buys and drivg out to the flats—provis the tle for his book. An Iraq War veteran and a native of a moribund Wt Virgia steel-l town, Ltle married a home-town girl, had two sons, then won the state lottery and bought a hoe for his fay. One of his sons turned out to have paranoid schizophrenia; the hoe, which was not sured, burned down. Three months later, his wife died, of chronic obstctive pulmonary disease. Ltle, sperate to get away and dreamg about imag he’d seen old <em>Field & Stream</em> magaz, went onle and Googled “cheap land lorado.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropplead-standard-headg paywall">All of the people are fascatg, but none of them is the ma character of the book. That role go to Conover, who lls the send chapter “My Prairie Life, Part I” and the third “My Prairie Life, Part II.” The tl change after that, but the gist remas the same. As a wrer, Conover is most at home the first-person prent tense; he prefers the closp to the wi-angle shot, actn to exposn, the immediate moment to ntext or history.</p><p class="paywall">The virtue of this approach is that brgs the San Luis Valley to relief. Conover has a good eye for the particulary of life on the flats: a kid out ridg her bike crash to an antelope; a fay drs s pet Chihuahua a leopard-sk sweater to keep om gettg eaten by hawks; a man cshed beer ns to landspe the area outsi his trailer, as a suburbane might e mulch. All along, the sle and the solu of the valley quietly assert themselv. By day, on the long dirt roads, lols roar to tersectns at top speeds, knowg that if a vehicle were headg toward them s dt plume would be visible om afar; by night, the sky above those same roads is nse wh stars, while rabbs and nighthawks appear like fleetg motn-picture shows the headlights.</p><p class="paywall">Still, all this immediacy at a st, one I felt acutely throughout the book: off to the si of Conover’s own high beams, a great al li darkns. The tens of thoands of other people livg off the grid elsewhere Ameri are acknowledged a sgle parenthetil asi, and the spe of ral poverty this untry go entirely unmentned. You would not know om “Cheap Land Colorado” that life the San Luis Valley, prented here as extraordary, looks a lot like life untls other impoverished plac. Nor do Conover pay much attentn to the stctural problems that have swept his characters out onto the flats, like so many Joads on the road. Although he wrote an entire book, “Wheout,” about Aspen, which is a few hours away and has a median home price upward of three ln dollars, we get no nsiratn of that town here, no sense that the liv of the rich have any bearg on those of the poor.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layoutasi"><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR daRVRt persistent-asi" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-boxprimary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="adslot adslot--rail" data-no-id="rnx3rf"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="adslot adslot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="fn9f7"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa EOneK body bodyntaer articlebody" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="bodyner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">The cumulative effect of all this is that “Cheap Land Colorado” reads ls like “Evicted” or “The Warmth of Other Suns”—two other books about the qut to fd a home Ameri—and more like a travelogue. The San Luis Valley we enunter the book exists mostly sofar as Conover is there explorg ; only ocsnally do we see the place or s people whout the wrer the ame. Sometim this thor-centric perspective serv the story well. After his first night alone his trailer, Conover wak up the morng to disver that everythg si is iced over—cludg his toothbsh, left damp the night before, and, more prsgly, his door, which has ozen shut, trappg him si. It is a classic fools-sh- moment, light wh a sharp-edged shadow, and tells all we need to know about the chronic proximy, such a place, of disaster.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">But on the whole “Cheap Land Colorado,” although nsistently tertg to read, is hamstng by the hoverg prence of s thor—not bee Conover isn’t good pany on the page but bee his book never fds another foc. It is full of so many pellg people that he uld have assembled a tly stellar ensemble st—or, nversely, picked a few of them and stuck wh them long enough to make their own prairie liv vivid, expansive, and illumatg. Instead, most of the characters wanr and out of the book whout leavg much behd, except for the imprsn that potentially ptivatg stori have gone untold. After meetg a mother and dghter, Rhonda and Kea, who me to the San Luis Valley by way of Chigo and California, Conover wr, “They were among the few Black people I had seen out there, and I was cur about what forc had attracted them to this place—or phed them om somewhere else.” If he ever sated that cursy, he don’t tell ; they show up jt once more the book, and are gone aga the space of two paragraphs.</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropplead-standard-headg paywall">What mak this distractible style of storytellg particularly tratg is that is at odds wh what Conover claims to do. This is somethg he lls “immersn journalism,” a method he teach at N.Y.U. and wr about another book of his, “Immersn: A Wrer’s Gui to Gog Deep.” As he explas those pag, immersn journalism is “work that grows out of a wrer’s efforts to learn about somebody else’s world by placg himself for a while.” Th fed, is basilly distguishable om participatory journalism, as was lled Plimpton’s day, and om New Journalism, whose practners—Tom Wolfe, Hunter S. Thompson, and so on—threw themselv to other worlds wh gto. For that matter, is also difficult to distguish om a lot of pla-old-journalism journalism, at least of the book and magaze varieti.</p><p class="paywall">Why, then, the new term? Blame journalism schools, which, like neteen-seventi real-tate velopers, are the bs of creatg subdivisns and sellg them to the public. Immersn journalism, long-form journalism, lerary journalism, vtigative journalism, narrative nonfictn: all this was once the open rangeland known simply as “reportg.” No matter what other name you g up for the work, has always been the se that the bt way to tell a story is to get as close to as possible and learn as much about as you n. Whether the rult is short or long, shallow or ep, bare-bon or brimmg wh scen has nothg to do wh how you characterize the procs of wrg , and everythg to do wh faiar nstrats: the outlet, the edor, the budget, the nature of the story, the proclivi and abili of the thor.</p><p class="paywall">Still, llg a work of nonfictn “immersn journalism” do matter one rpect: shifts the emphasis away om the story and toward what the wrer is dog to tell . Conover has no difficulty nvcg that the flats are a fascatg place, but when he m on how they “felt like a perfect plement to my life New York Cy” he mak his own time there seem like ral splay. Nor is eful to learn that, sce 2017, he has availed himself of the flexibily of his amic reer to make “more than twenty trips to the valley.” Details like that are meant to nvey his mment and bolster his credibily, but journalism is not junr high school. You don’t need to prove that you did your homework; you jt need to know your stuff.</p><p class="paywall">In this se, Conover tells , what he wants to know is why Tmp won the 2016 electn. Yet “Cheap Land Colorado” ntas no nsiratn of that state’s electoral polics, although they are noteworthy: the last two Printial electns, an creasgly blue Colorado gave s electoral vot to Hillary Clton and Joe Bin, while the six unti that make up the San Luis Valley were more divid, wh three of them votg for Tmp both tim, two of them votg Democratic both tim (by up to eighty-one per cent of the vote some of the towns), and one of them flip-floppg. Nor do Conover reflect on the challeng of votg a place like the flats. Colorado has been a vote-by-mail state sce 2013, but ral livery don’t exist out on the flats, and ’s unclear how many people, a muny disproportnately characterized by poverty, transience, and distst of ernment, would travel to a signated pollg statn to st their ballots person.</p><p class="paywall">All of this rais a qutn: Did the Tmp voters Conover went wt to meet actually vote for Tmp? He never asks, and we never learn. When, the urse of the book, we do cross paths wh <em class="small">MAGA</em> typ, they are already faiar to —om our own muni, and om years of der journalism. We wns an exchange between a nservative uple and a liberal volunteer who has e as part of a church group to help fix up their property; we s on a vis wh some particularly out-there nspiracy theorists (the C.I.A. is n by the Vatin, John McCa donated a billn dollars to Al Qaeda, etc.); we watch as the ronavis and Black Liv Matter protts reach the San Luis Valley, both wh tragic rults; we learn that Matt Ltle and Le—the one who dreams of sellg goat k and heirloom tomato—have grown nvced that the 2020 electn was stolen.</p><p class="paywall">Conover prents all this almost whout ment. Although he don’t hi his own views, he also mak no real effort to acunt for those of his subjects, and, spe his stated goal, I began to spect that he didn’t really re all that much about how, or if, his new neighbors had voted. This change of heart, if that is ed what happened, renrs the ame of “Cheap Land Colorado” somewhat wobbly. Yet also as somethg of a relief, after years of ted Tmp-era journalism which certa liv sudnly mand attentn for purely stmental reasons and those fartht removed om power were expected to illumate s ner workgs. It is, after all, extraordarily difficult to expla this immense untry and s lns of cizens. We are trated by anecdot bee they seem arbrary and unreprentative, trated by statistics bee somethg urgent and human always p them, trated by the past bee is not reliably predictive, trated by the future bee remas stubbornly unknowable.</p><p class="paywall">But, although our natnal character might be elive, we are, as “Cheap Land Colorado” regularly remds , a natn full of characters. Conover’s book is burstg wh dreamers and dggi, drifters and grifters, the lud, the dangero, the salt of the earth. It is difficult not to experience some fellow-feelg for almost all of them, and for the place self, which offers up to even the poort of the poor s astonishg granur. And so is strange but not altogether surprisg when, the end, Conover simply succumbs to the allure he set out to expla and cis to buy land the flats: five acr, pl a trailer, the middle of a nowhere that, for him, is now the center of somethg. ♦</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layoutasi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-boxprimary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="adslot adslot--rail" data-no-id="529duf"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk 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data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ fzzTdh summary-emhed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Novelist Whose Inventns Went Too Far</div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd kxnNhB jDyfzW summary-emk">After the Ao-Cuban wrer H. G. Carrillo died, his hband learned that almost everythg the wrer had shared about his life was ma up—cludg his Cuban inty.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-embyle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-embyle"><div class="summary-embylentent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle bylbyle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU bylename"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss bylepreamble">By </span>D. T. Max</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff hNpSyX summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm hKqhyj" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-emasset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-emimage-lk summary-em-trackgimage-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ktcjQn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Upper Wt Si Cult That Hid Pla Sight" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-emntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-embric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Unr Review</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM dVrbhU summary-em-trackghed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ fzzTdh summary-emhed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Upper Wt Si Cult That Hid Pla Sight</div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd kxnNhB jDyfzW summary-emk">In the sixti and seventi, the Sullivanian Instute had a wng sal pch for young New Yorkers: parti, sex, low rent, and affordable therapy.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-embyle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-embyle"><div class="summary-embylentent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle bylbyle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU bylename"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss bylepreamble">By </span>Jsi Wter</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff hNpSyX summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm hKqhyj" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-emasset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-emimage-lk summary-em-trackgimage-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ktcjQn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Lows of the High Life" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-emntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-embric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">The Weekend Essay</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM dVrbhU summary-em-trackghed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ fzzTdh summary-emhed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Lows of the High Life</div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd kxnNhB jDyfzW summary-emk">I had never had money, and then I did. For three days New York, I learned how not to e .</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-embyle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-embyle"><div class="summary-embylentent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle bylbyle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU bylename"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss bylepreamble">By </span>Andre Dub III</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm hKqhyj ad ad--read-more"><div class="adslot adslot--read-more" data-no-id="und4g"></div></div></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridToActnWrapper-gnReGN eGayfk"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div 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kathryn schulz gay

28 Dec 2024

HOW ONE MOTHER’S LOVE FOR HER GAY SON STARTED A REVOLUTN

Wh gay story l regularly poppg up on primetime TV and high-profile celebri regularly g out, the act of g out self don't seem like such a revelatory event anymore:"The g-out story might be to the late twentieth century what the marriage plot was to Victorian tim: a story le ma relevant by social nventns, often reprsive on--and then, as those nventns erod, ma irrelevant aga. By the end of her sophomore year, the reverse of today’s joke about llege, she had lost fifteen pounds and was sufferg om malnutrn.

She was rryg a piece of orange poster board wh a msage hand-lettered black marker: “PARENTS of GAYS: UNITE SUPPORT fOR oUR CHILDREN. They asked if they uld kiss her; they asked if she would talk to their parents; they told her that they uldn’t image their own mothers and fathers supportg them so publicly, or supportg them at woman’s name was Jeanne Manford, and she was marchg alongsi her twenty-one-year-old gay son, Morty. The anizatn they dreamed up that day, which started as a sgle support group Manhattan, was ially lled Parents of Gays; later, was renamed Parents FLAG, for Parents and Friends of Lbians and Gays; nowadays, is known only as PFLAG.

'WE'RE NOT HIDG': GAY AND LBIAN RSIANS SAY A CULTURAL SHIFT IS UNRWAY

The same year Avril was born, Morty’s psychiatrist summoned Jeanne and Jul to his office and rmed them that their beloved goln boy and sole survivg son was the bt of her knowledge, Jeanne Manford had never known anyone who was gay.

”There was no mystery about what that kd of tradnal, law-abidg woman was supposed to thk about gay people 1968. At the time, homosexual acts were crimal forty-ne stat, wh punishments rangg om f to prison time, cludg life sentenc. Polil anizg was virtually impossible—one early gay-rights group that attempted to officially rporate New York was told that s mere existence would vlate state sodomy laws—and posive cultural reprentatn was all but nonexistent; there were no openly gay or lbian policians, punds, relig lears, actors, athlet, or micians the mastream.

Newspapers ed the words “homosexual” and “pervert” terchangeably, and the handful of gay people who appeared on televisn to discs their “life style” almost always had their fac hidn shadows or otherwise obscured. In 1974, when “The Pat Colls Show” aired a segment on parents of gay children, the host troduced by sayg, “Even if he mted murr, I gus you’d say, ‘Well, he’s still my child, no matter what.

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class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Books</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd NbxED hpJvIc">Rapt</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB enhwXT ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ Mtme">Grievg wh your goshawk.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa gvUmxJ"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn jKACOU"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn jKACOU rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w" siz="66px"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w" siz="66px"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bqbBYQ"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ivtvgj byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd ggMZaT cXqSTL eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributors/kathryn-schulz">Kathryn Schulz</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2015-03-02T00:00:18-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd kYZrFA kEBrdf">March 2, 2015</time></div></div></div></div></div></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kbAoLA article-body__ntent"><div class="ActnBarWrapperContent-lasBkU cAHp"><div class="ActnBarWrapperComponent-cjwxLS bEeSLb"><div 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article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><div class="GenericCalloutWrapper-tojWn iHBnEl llout--has-top-borr set-embedd-le" data-ttid="GenericCallout"><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO KhjZz AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image rponsive-image--expandable"><noscript><img alt="Hnted by her fathers ath Helen Macdonald kept pany wh a bird of prey." class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE iTuhkZ ptn AssetEmbedCaptn-fNQBPI fmQnYP asset-embed__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo iXWezO ptn__text">Hnted by her father’s ath, Helen Macdonald kept pany wh a bird of prey.</span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd iicloT jbIJNS ptn__cred">Photograph by Christa McLeish / Courty Grove Atlantic</span></div></figure></div><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg">The boys have gone out hawkg. The year is 500 A.D., give or take, when young men of a certa social class fly hawks for sport. One of the boys belongs to that class: his father is a knight, and he will grow up to be one, too. His name is Kay. The other boy will grow up to be a kg, but he don’t know that yet. For now, he is Kay’s ferr: younger, adopted, of unknown leage, saddled by the olr child wh the unfortunate nickname the Wart. At prent, an arrangement that is typil, the Wart is tdgg along rryg a ad creature to serve as a lure, while Kay, walkg ont of him, rri the hawk.</p><p class="paywall">It is a goshawk, a huge bird wh goln ey, like somethg out of a legend. And this one is: we are six pag to T. H. Whe’s six-hundred-and-forty-page medieval epic, “The Once and Future Kg.” We have already learned, on page 1, that the boys practice hawkg every week, but now be clear that Kay is bad at . He throws the bird om his glove before is ready, and for a moment hangs there, a nfn of feathers and air and stct. An stant later, is lost. “Up went the hawk,” Whe wr, “swoopg like a child flung high a swg, until the wgs fold and he was stg a tree.”</p><p class="paywall">Kay soon go off a f of pique, leavg the d, anx, loyal Wart to try to tch the bird. It fli eper and eper to the woods. Night falls. The Wart worri. He knows the fort is full of outlaws, maniacs, and wild beasts, but he n’t brg himself to abandon the hawk. He keeps watch beneath the tree where roosts, gets shot at, fle, los the bird, enunters a knight, los him, too, then stumbl upon a clearg wh a stone ttage and a strange old man outsi. The old man is Merlyn, the magician, and he foraw long ago that this would happen: that here, ont of his ttage, he would meet the boy known later years and ever after as Kg Arthur. So much has yet to e, but all of —the sword, the stone, the wars, the Round Table, the quts, the love affairs, the murrs, the betrayals, the tragedy, the whole huge arc of like a longbow pulled fast wh the arrow already nocked—all of begs bee a person, of uncerta inty and gravely lost, bds his fate to a goshawk.</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Helen Macdonald was her third and fal year as a rearch fellow at Cambridge, a prtig postgraduate posn, when her father died and, for eight hundred pounds sterlg, she acquired a ten-week-old goshawk. The ath was unexpected. Her father, a profsnal photographer based London, had gone out after a vlent storm to take pictur of the damage down at Battersea, when he suffered a heart attack. Later, Macdonald saw the fal image his mera: “Blurred, taken om a low angle, far too low; an empty London street.”</p><p class="paywall">The goshawk was unexpected, too. By the time of her father’s ath, Macdonald, an experienced falner, had traed ktrels and merls and peregr, but she had never red to tra a goshawk. Among those who know their birds of prey, the reputatn of the goshawk is half Hamlet, half Lady Macbeth: mad, murro, unpredictable, the kd of creature whose partners and timat should brace themselv for trouble. “Spooky, pale-eyed psychopaths,” Macdonald lls them. “<em>Not for me,</em> I’d thought, many tim.” But then me ath, that other unpredictable mad murrer, and Macdonald got a hawk, named her Mabel, and set about tryg to tame her.</p><p class="paywall">Macdonald’s book about that experience, “H Is for Hawk” (Grove), was first published last summer Great Bra, where won the Samuel Johnson Prize for nonfictn and the Costa Book of the Year prize, award to the bt new book any genre. Had there been an award for the bt new book that fi every genre, I image would have won that, too. Like the griff that the Wart might have met his fort, “H Is for Hawk” is an improbable and hybrid creature. It is one part grief memoir, one part gui to raptors, and one part bgraphy of T. H. Whe, who chronicled his main effort at falnry “The Goshawk,” wrten jt before he began work on “The Once and Future Kg.” I am scribg Macdonald’s book by s parts for the same reason we scribe a griff by s parts—bee how else would we do so? But is herent, plete, and rivetg, perhaps the ft nonfictn I read the past year.</p><p class="paywall">To this wondroly atypil book, Macdonald brgs an equally atypil background. She is a former faln-breer for royalty of the Uned Arab Emirat, a current historian of science at Cambridge, a naturalist, an illtrator, and the thor of three llectns of poetry and one prev work of nonfictn, “Faln,” a natural and cultural history. She is also what you might ll a former raptor prodigy. Her father, addn to beg a photographer, was an amatr plane-spotter, and he tght his young dghter sky-watchg, bird-watchg, and patience. By the age of six, she had begun teachg herself about birds of prey. Her prepubcent leisure readg clud, along wh “The Goshawk,” Gilbert Blae’s “Falnry,” Frank Illgworth’s “Falns and Falnry,” and Jam Hartg’s “Hts on Hawks.” By ne or ten, Macdonald had bee, her words, “the most appallg falnry bore.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">Listen to her now, two pag :</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><blockquote class="BlockquoteEmbedWrapper-sc-SdiGL jPeLne paywall blockquote-embed"><div class="BlockquoteEmbedContent-RbGs gmbtPx blockquote-embed__ntent"><p>Maybe you’ve glanced out of the wdow and seen there, on the lawn, a bloody great hawk murrg a pigeon, or a blackbird, or a magpie, and looks the hugt, most imprsive piece of wildns you’ve ever seen, like someone’s tipped a snow leopard to your kchen and you fd eatg the t.</p></div></blockquote><p class="paywall">So much for the falnry bore. Intellectually, Macdonald is unhurried—she ps to pot out whatever is tertg—but, stylistilly, she is like this passage, all pounce. Over and over, her wrg tak you by surprise: no sooner have you registered the kchen than, whoa, there’s the snow leopard, s huge Himalayan paws leavg prts on the tile and half a domtic shorthair hangg om s mouth. I will never aga not have pictured that, and, wh apologi to my t, I am glad. Like “The Goshawk,” only wh nsirably more self-awarens, “H Is for Hawk” is about what happens when you blur the le between wild and domtic: about what is like to share your home wh a bloody great murrg creature, why anyone would choose to do so, and what rewards and hazards attend that cisn.</p><p class="paywall">Books about nature, like the tegory “animal,” sometim suffer om a s of omissn: both s, people belong si them but are often left out. Books about grief n the oppose risk; too much of the person n be left , too much of the world omted. Macdonald, who is wrg both kds of book at once, mak neher mistake. She is timate and movg on the anguish that rried her to the pany of hawks, but the world of her book is like the world we really live , crowd wh humans and human ias, and she turns on all the triple perspicy of a poet, a naturalist, and a historian. She dissects the cultural symbolism attached to hawks om Victorian England to the Third Reich; she talogu the classic animal stori by gay thors, who uld not wre openly of their human relatnships; she observ that when a speci is endangered suffers not only numeric but also semantic cle. “The rarer they get, the fewer meangs animals n have,” she observ. “Eventually rary is all they are ma of.”</p><p class="paywall">Goshawks are rare England now—certaly, they are a rare pann for a young urban woman—but, Macdonald not, there was a time when you uld walk down the street Cambridge and see as many birds on the fist as today you see dogs on a leash. That world had an entire culture and language, and Macdonald provis an troductn to . A person who tras falns is lled a falner, but a person who tras hawks is lled an strger. Young hawks are eyass, as crossword-puzzle vote know; adolcents are passagers; those ught as adults are haggards. A happy hawk signals s ntentment by “rog,” and Macdonald and Whe each provi a wonrful scriptn. Mabel “lifts herself to a vast, othy mop of feathers”; Whe’s hawk, when roed, “looked exactly like a fir-ne.” By ntrast, a malntented hawk will “bate,” dive-bombg off s owner’s fist terror or rage. A hawk nnot pe by batg, bee s owner holds s js—slim leather straps attached to bands the bird wears on s ankl. But n pe when released to hunt, as Kay’s hawk did—and then, like the Wart, the owner mt follow unrneath the bird and try to ax down. Atrgers spend so much time crang their necks at fugive hawks that, Macdonald rms , one seventeenth-century wrer clared falnry to be a moral activy on the ground that kept you lookg toward Heaven.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p class="paywall">Macdonald lights the argot of falnry, so ancient and exclive that feels like the words Merlyn might have ed his spells. But she relish, too, the matter-of-fact magic of avian blogy. Certa birds n perceive ultravlet lors, the separate wg beats of a bee, and the earth’s magic field, and goshawks, Macdonald tells , n “watch thermals of warm air rise, roil, and spill to clouds.” She also not that the bird’s volatile reputatn is partly due to nrology: the pathways between the goshawk’s sensory nrons and s motor nrons all but bypass the bra. “They react to stimuli lerally whout thkg,” Macdonald wr, and a whole lot of those stimuli n provoke their huntg stct: squeaky doors, passg bicycl, real pheasants, but also black-and-whe drawgs of them, Joan Sutherland on the rad. (“I lghed out loud at that,” Macdonald wr. “Stimul: <em>opera</em>. Rponse: <em>kill</em>.”) The other part of the goshawk’s bad reputatn, Macdonald pots out, down to class bias. Goshawks hunt well woods and require very ltle room to kill, whereas falns need the kd of open space that, historilly, was available only to those who owned manors. People who uld afford to keep falns looked down on those who uldn’t—and, by extensn, on the birds they kept stead.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR daRVRt persistent-asi" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="3kbn2b"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="r9ar5s"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">That helps expla why Mabel fails to live up to her fearsome reputatn. A character the book her own right, she do not e across as a psychopath; she across as a mixture of a Labrador retriever, an F-16, and Houdi. Chasg a rabb that turns and ns to the woods, she “slewed round slg-shot style, heel-bow, soakg up g-force like a sponge,” then “closed her wgs and was gone.” But at home she is pannable, cur, easy to tra, and, to Macdonald’s astonishment, playful. The two of them play tch wh cmpled piec of paper and peekaboo through a rolled-up magaze. “No one had ever told me goshawks played,” Macdonald wr. “I wonred if was bee no one had ever played wh them. The thought ma me terribly sad.”</p><p class="paywall">But Macdonald was already terribly sad; she was, fact, far more troubled and difficult than her bird. Macdonald had always been close to her father, who emerg the book as a kd, steady, unrstated man wh a sly streak. “My dad had been my dad,” she wr, “but also my iend, and a partner crime”: her pann the kd of legal but impish adventur to which a profsnal photographer and a poet-falner might cle. It seems a lovely relatnship, and Macdonald wr wh clary and heart about s loss. She unrstands grief’s paradoxil sence, which is the nstant prence of absence; there is an awful moment the book when, unable to remember a tail of a story about her father that she plans to tell at his memorial service, she picks up the phone to ll him. Months after his ath, she looks around at the woods, at her hawk, at her life, and feels nothg, or nothg good: “My heart is salt.”</p><p class="paywall">Such simplicy, such totaly. But what Macdonald handl so well on the page nearly undid her real life. At the time of her father’s ath, she had “no partner, no children, no home. No ne-to-five job eher.” Like a tent poorly staked, she is filled by the storm that is grief and blown away. Soon that disnnectn to seem sirable. Hurt by the human world, she wants nothg more to do wh . Instead, she longs to be like her bird: “solary, self-posssed, ee om grief.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">Th do hawkg, as Macdonald practic her bereavement, bee a zero-sum game: as the bird grows tamer, she grows wilr. She spends her days stalkg wh Mabel through field and fort, her pockets full of ad day-old chicks, snappg the necks of rabbs the bird would otherwise eat alive. She stops seeg iends, “jumped panic when the postman knocked on the door; reiled om the rgg phone.” She liv alone a hoe empty of ffee and filled wh lumps of raw meat. Before long, she is walkg that fe Lear le between grief and sany. Wound by ath, she vot herself to a pastime for which she mt kill daily. Drowng loss, she ms herself to a creature whose fg tra is the pacy to fly away.</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kKwZhx rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RponsiveCartoonWrapper-iTMMjI eXTYsS rponsive-rtoon AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset viewport-monor-anchor"><a class="external-lk rponsive-rtoon__image-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa RponsiveCartoonImage-hzNqyc ikeCcH rponsive-rtoon__image rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="“I dont know art but I know what I like.”" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></a><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE gdZTpI ptn RponsiveCartoonCaptn-dokfdF hJgaLQ rponsive-rtoon__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo bsWloa ptn__text">“I don’t know art, but I know what I like.”</span></div><div class="RponsiveCartoonCTA-eiqqMB iDCQRs"><div class="RponsiveCartoonCTAWrapper-CYIqa iTbFtf"><div class="RponsiveCartoonLkButtonWrapper-hqDAJK eSEhbj"><button aria-label="Copy lk to rtoon" class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv YsOBB button button--primary-pair RponsiveCartoonInButton-hBCBMq lpsjql" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Copy lk to rtoon</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="in in-pylk" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Copy lk to rtoon</tle><g clip-path="url(#clip0_3732_178637)"><path fill-le="evenodd" 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RponsiveCartoonInButton-hBCBMq lpsjql" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Shop</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="in in-rt" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Shop</tle><g clip-path="url(#clip0_3732_178638)"><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M4 3H2V4H4.23828L6.99617 15.2631C7.11483 15.6982 7.50998 16 7.96094 16H18.0365C18.4875 16 18.8826 15.6982 19.0013 15.2631L20.9648 7.26312C21.1383 6.62698 20.6594 6 20 6H10V7H20L18.0365 15H7.96094L5.03652 3H4.58055H4ZM10.0365 19C10.0365 19.5523 9.58881 20 9.03652 20C8.48424 20 8.03652 19.5523 8.03652 19C8.03652 18.4477 8.48424 18 9.03652 18C9.58881 18 10.0365 18.4477 10.0365 19ZM11.0365 19C11.0365 20.1046 10.1411 21 9.03652 21C7.93195 21 7.03652 20.1046 7.03652 19C7.03652 17.8954 7.93195 17 9.03652 17C10.1411 17 11.0365 17.8954 11.0365 19ZM18.0365 19C18.0365 19.5523 17.5888 20 17.0365 20C16.4842 20 16.0365 19.5523 16.0365 19C16.0365 18.4477 16.4842 18 17.0365 18C17.5888 18 18.0365 18.4477 18.0365 19ZM19.0365 19C19.0365 20.1046 18.1411 21 17.0365 21C15.932 21 15.0365 20.1046 15.0365 19C15.0365 17.8954 15.932 17 17.0365 17C18.1411 17 19.0365 17.8954 19.0365 19Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button></div></div></div></span></div></figure><p class="paywall">The term “hoodwked” is closely associated wh falnry. For lennia, falners have slipped hoods over the heads of their birds, lmg their hair-trigger nervo systems by protectg them om excs exposure to the world. It is a morally muddy practice, simultaneoly necsary, passnate, and ceptive. Macdonald, her grief, acplish the unlikely act of hoodwkg herself wh a hawk. Wh Mabel on her fist, she is focsed and lm; whout her, she is angry, reactive, and sred. Rather than assuagg her heartache, she is simply evadg , soothg herself by hidg om the world. Eventually, she regniz the limatns of that strategy—bee she is emotnally astute, but also bee, back her hawk-obssed childhood, she had read about someone else who tried .</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Terence Hanbury Whe also got a goshawk to fill the void left by a beloved parent, but a different sense: he never had one. His mother and father hated each other and, on the evince, spised their son as well. Whe was beaten often, ddled rarely—when was tactilly nvenient for one parent or the other—and otherwise neglected or huiated. He fally went away to boardg school, but an upbrgg like his did not perm plete pe, then or ever. Macdonald shar a tellg tail: upon receivg a photograph of the young Whe, his mother wrote back to say that his lips were “growg sensual” and that he should hold them —wh his teeth, if need be. “It is so fatally easy,” Whe wrote of Lancelot “The Once and Future Kg,” “to make young children believe that they are horrible.”</p><p class="paywall">Whe did believe he was horrible. “I had a iend who was a sadistic homosexual, now happily married wh children,” he once wrote to L. J. Potts, his former Cambridge tutor, a mor classic of the genre of Askg for a Friend. Whe was himself a sadistic homosexual, and, those pre-Stonewall, pre-“Fifty Shas” days, his sir were a misery to him. They were also, as far as anyone n tell, unfulfilled. Whe had no known male lovers, and he was, if anythg, gentler than the standards of his time. In his twenti, he tght English at private boys’ schools, and, unlike most of his lleagu, refed to h his pupils—partly out of nvictn (he plored the notn that “the plex psychology of a human beg n be tght wh a stick”), but possibly also bee of how much he longed to do so. “He felt his heart celty and wardice,” Whe wrote, aga of Lancelot, “the thgs which ma him brave and kd.”</p><p class="paywall">Whe was thirty when he qu teachg, rented a b far om town, and got a goshawk. He wanted to spend his time wrg, but he also had a eper motive. “The bs of life,” he wrote, was “to divt onelf of unnecsary posssns, and maly of other people.” Like Macdonald, although more liberately, he ed the bird to engeer a retreat om the world. The day arrived, Whe ded wh iends, and then was “glad to shake off wh them the last of an old human life.” His new life would be wh and for the goshawk alone.</p><p class="paywall">The poor bird; the poor man. The only worthy thg to e out of their relatnship was “The Goshawk”—and that very nearly didn’t e out at all. Whe pleted the book 1937, but cled to publish until 1949, when an edor paid him a vis, sat on his sofa, found unfortable, and fished om unr the chn the abandoned mancript. He prevailed on Whe to let him publish , and the book me out 1951. In the Uned Stat, eventually went out of prt, and, for s, was difficult to fd. In 2007, New York Review Books remedied that suatn by brgg out an edn that prerv Whe’s many drawgs of hawk paraphernalia (part of the attractn of hawkg, one spects, was all the time spent wh leather and knots) and adds an troductn by Marie Wn, bt known for chroniclg the life of the red-tailed hawk Pale Male and s mate.</p><p class="paywall">Unlike Macdonald, Whe had no ia what he was dog when he acquired his goshawk. “I had never traed a ser hawk before, nor met a livg falner, nor seen a hawk that had been traed,” he wrote. “I had three books.” The one he relied on most was wrten 1619. It was a bad gui, Whe was a bad stunt, and, as for the hawk, before s trag was done broke s tether and flew away. I won’t reveal what beme of , but Whe’s book go slack at that pot, s own le broken as well.</p><p class="paywall">Until that moment, however, “The Goshawk” is tremendo. Whe has both a keen eye and a supple, surprisg md, and his observatns of the natural world often lend a ic pleasure to an otherwise dark book. A hawk that has killed a moe “rose leisurely over the hedge, rryg the body as a cy worker rried his attaché se.” Watchg his hawk hunt, a falner grows so volved that “ was like beg an onlooker at an athletic meetg who kicks to help the high-jumper.” After a passage about a hawk chasg a rabb, Whe, wonrfully at ease on the page, appends the stctns: “You mt read at the top of your voice, three sends, and you will see what was.”</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="n1f2bu"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">For a slim book, “The Goshawk” has, like s subject, a formidable wgspan. It is not que right to ll a draft of “The Once and Future Kg,” but is somethg close to a précis of the later book’s them: is about tnal systems, polil systems, medieval history, sire, vlence, ntrol of others, and ntrol of self. The last two, particular, domate the work, and Macdonald’s take is the right one. “Whe ma falnry a metaphysil battle,” she wr. “Like <em>Moby-Dick</em> or <em>The Old Man and the Sea,</em> <em>The Goshawk</em> was a lerary enunter between animal and man that reached back to Puran tradns of spirual ntt.” In keepg wh that tradn, what was at stake for Whe strgg was not his hawk but his soul. It is the prerogative of hawks to draw blood whout s. If Whe uld master the bird, he seemed to believe, he uld at once master and virly enjoy his own vlent urg.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">This stggle giv “The Goshawk” s stak, but also mak the book almost unbearably disturbg. In attemptg to intify wh the hawk, Whe only mak subject to his self-loathg. He nam the bird Gos but lls terrible thgs: ighteng, repulsive, dangero, hysteril, baleful, a monster, a savage, a snake, murro as Caligula—as Attila, as Od, as Death. “It was like beg handcuffed to a moron, I would thk bterly, a cha gang”; or was like sharg his home wh “a homicidal maniac.” That le might more reasonably have been wrten by the bird. Whe scrib his yearng to wrg s neck, bash s head to a gatepost, and subject to “the extreme torture served.”</p><p class="paywall">All this is ma more paful by the fact that Whe also genuely lov the hawk, and hat himself. He wr, wh light, of Gos takg his first bath, gettg his first se of hiccups, first g om afar to the fist. The book would not be half so hard to read if were not half-time tenr. But tenrns is not an attu that a man so prived of affectn n sta. Once, when the bird won’t stop batg, Whe fli to a rage and, vlatn of the first mandment of hawkg, liberately thwarts s effort to climb back up on his fist, forcg to rema danglg upsi down helpls terror. Afterward, Gos seems stunned to quicence, and Whe “stood dumbstck also, mobbed by most of the adly ss.” The war poet Siegied Sassoon, who had reason to regnize the rage, shame, nial, and self-jtifitn attendant upon acts of vlence, uld not fish “The Goshawk.” “I now flch om anythg ightful,” he wrote, “and what I read was agonizg.”</p><p class="paywall">Of all the falnry words we learn om Macdonald, the most potent one to appear “The Goshawk” is “manng.” It means to get a bird acctomed to beg around people, but there’s no pg s nnotatns. Macdonald is unmanned, her way—whout a father, whout a partner, cut off om what we ed to ll mankd—but, when Whe , the word tak on darker ton. To man somethg is to ntrol , as one mans a ship. It is also, implicly, to assert physil and sexual power. Whe knew that by ntemporary standards he was unmanned; he also knew the extent of his sire to exercise ntrol over others. He spised both aspects of himself, and spent his life fightg them. But a ptive hawk that p will eventually bee entangled s js, and Whe, attemptg to ee himself, found stead that he was ught up everythg that he hated. To pe the human world, he ma a wild animal ptive to ; to exorcise his vlence, he turned agast an nocent creature. Dpe himself, Whe wds up treatg Gos que as his parents had treated him: wh celty, price, and fatal neglect.</p><p class="paywall">Like “The Once and Future Kg,” “The Goshawk” is many kds of tale—a edy, a romance, a farce—but, the end, unmistakably, is a tragedy. Tragedi, the lerary sense of the word, do not happen to terrible people; they happen to cent people, terribly flawed. Whe, on the page, is sensive, funny, highly learned, wh a mandg moral pass and a spectacular md. Neher homicidal nor manial, he is more like the iend so troubled that no one n save him. “For the first time my life, I was absolutely ee,” he wr, upon movg to the b and acquirg Gos. And then, wh the terrified bird newly tethered and locked his barn: “I was as ee as a hawk.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Toward the end of “H Is for Hawk,” Macdonald reunts a story first rerd by Geofey of Monmouth the mid-twelfth century. Once upon a time, the story go, there was a Welsh kg who fought a terrible battle and, the urse of , lost many close iends. Grief-stricken, he fled to the fort, where he lived “like a wild animal . . . fetful of himself and of his kdred.” That Welsh kg was Merlyn. Eventually, he emerged, but the impulse of the anguished to flee to nature would persist across the centuri. “Earth hath no sorrows,” John Muir once wrote, “that earth nnot heal.” If that is a cure, is homeopathic; for the solate and lonely, only wilrns and solu.</p><p class="paywall">Figuratively speakg, Whe never found his way out of the woods. He moved om place to place, evad his tax, evad a lot of thgs. He wrote some twenty-odd books but is remembered today mostly for “The Once and Future Kg,” which he hid himself ocsnally as Arthur, more often as Merlyn, but above all as Lancelot, the ill-ma knight who was for a time the bt the world at his craft yet rried wh him a shame so old and ep that he uld not even name . In the end, the legend holds, Lancelot go to live penence a hermage, while the kg, mortally wound, is set adrift on a ship—to one day rise aga. Whe died at the age of fifty-seven, on a boat the Aegean Sea. “I expect to make rather a good ath,” he’d wrten two years earlier. “The sence of ath is lonels, and I have had plenty of practice at this.”</p><p class="paywall">Macdonald’s story has a different endg. One day, crouchg over a rabb she has jt killed, feelg like “an executner after a thoand aths,” she to see that she has been travellg wh her hawk not further om grief but further om life. Sred by her own numbns and darkns, she begs to seek help: om lovg relativ, attentive iends, morn psychopharmalogy—all the advantag she had that Whe did not. Slowly, her grief starts to lift. As do, she fds that she disagre wh Merlyn and Muir. “The wild is not a panacea for the human soul,” she wr. “Too much the air n rro to nothg.” All along, she had wanted to be her hawk: fierce, solary, human. Instead, she now realiz, “I was the figure standg unrneath the tree at nightfall, llar upturned agast the damp, wag patiently for the hawk to return.” Her father, she knows, will never rejo the human world. But she n. Like a figure a myth who followed a hawk to the land of the ad, Macdonald turns around and home.</p><p class="paywall">There is a precent for this. After Merlyn fds the Wart the woods, he tch the wayward goshawk, then acpani the boy back home and be his tutor. His is an odd sort of schoolg, nsistg mostly of direct ethics lsons acplished by turng the boy to var animals: a perch, an ant, a badger. The Wart regards this as a huge improvement over logic and Lat, and one eveng, when he is sperately bored, he go to Merlyn and begs for another lson. Perhaps, he suggts, he uld be turned to a hawk.</p><p class="paywall">To want to be a hawk: “That is pretty amb,” Merlyn observ. Eventually, he will grant the requt, and the goshawk that the Wart followed to the woods will try to kill him. But, for now, the magician puts his stunt off. “You shall be everythg the world, animal, vegetable, meral, protista or vis, for all I re—before I have done wh you,” he tells the boy. But, he ntu, the time has not yet e to try to be a hawk. And so, he says, “you may as well s down for the moment and learn to be a human beg.” ♦</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="1x52o8"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><footer class="ContentFooterMagazeDisclaimer-gzKAqo iZIuUU" data-ttid="MagazeDisclaimerWrapper">Published the prt edn of the <a href="/magaze/2015/03/09" data-reactroot="">March 9, 2015</a>, issue.</footer></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu GWFsc ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"><div class="ContributorBWrapper-bnVHbt gMon"><div class="ContributorBAvatar-bIGTqf eMWbvj"><a href="/ntributors/kathryn-schulz"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span></a></div><div class="ContributorBContent-ubQdr jZTSSi"><div class="ContributorBHear-ledood XOIEx"></div><div class="ContributorBB-fBolsO giFhKz"><a href="/ntributors/kathryn-schulz">Kathryn Schulz</a>, a staff wrer at The New Yorker, won the 2016 Pulzer Prize for feature wrg. Her latt book is “<a href=">Lost & Found</a>.”</div><div class="ContributorBFooter-brqDlv ezUmSv"></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div data-ttid="ContentFooterBottom" class="ContentFooterBottom-jwWZfC kcbyiW"><div class="ContentFooterNewsletterContentWrapper-bmjtna kixtae"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div data-ttid="NewsletterSubscribeFormWrapper" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormWrapper-fCqqkN jKSBhE newsletter-subscribe-form ContentFooterNewsletterForm-hKeYwa liPqcf"><div data-ttid="NewsletterSubscribeFormHedDekWrapper" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormHedDekWrapper-fpMElW eglIBL"><h3 class="NewsletterSubscribeFormDangeroHed-kRwWjt kbxOa-D newsletter-subscribe-form__hed ContentFooterNewsletterForm-hKeYwa liPqcf">Books & Fictn</h3><div class="NewsletterSubscribeFormDek-kXonvc cKOhTM newsletter-subscribe-form__k">Short stori and poems, pl thor terviews, profil, and tal om the world of lerature.</div></div><div data-ttid="NewsletterSubscribeFormInputsWrapper" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormInputsWrapper-keARJE hVWbzr"><form class="form-wh-validatn NewsletterSubscribeFormValidatn-iCYa-Dt dweEln" id="newsletter" name="newsletter" novalidate="" method="POST"><span class="TextFieldWrapper-Pzdqp hNhevp text-field" data-ttid="TextFieldWrapper__email"><label class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TextFieldLabel-klrYvg iUEiRd stdEm fvoOvz text-field__label text-field__label--sgle-le" for="newsletter-text-field-email" data-ttid="TextFieldLabel__email"><div class="TextFieldLabelText-cvvxBl eeDYTb">E-mail addrs</div><div class="TextFieldInputContaer-jcMPhb oFrOs"><put type="email" aria-scribedby="privacy-text" aria-valid="false" id="newsletter-text-field-email" required="" name="email" placeholr="E-mail addrs" class="BaseInput-fAzTdK TextFieldControlInput-eFUxkf eGzzTT laFPCK text-field__ntrol text-field__ntrol--put" data-ttid="TextFieldInput__email"/></div></label><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv dwpimO button button--utily TextFieldButton-csBrgY edxbrw" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" type="subm"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN hzwRuG button__label">Sign up</span></button></span><div id="privacy-text" tabx="-1" class="NewsletterSubscribeFormDisclaimer-bTVtiV bsgLJZ"><span><p>By signg up, you agree to our <a href=" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">User Agreement</a> and <a href=" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Privacy Policy & Cookie Statement</a>. 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SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Dept. of Public Health</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/magaze/2014/04/07/fal-forms" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Fal Forms</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/magaze/2014/04/07/fal-forms" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Fal Forms" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">What ath certifit n tell , and what they n’t.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Kathryn Schulz</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff hlYhBH summary-em summary-em--article summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eamwqR" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/culture/cultural-ment/the-rabb-hole-rabb-hole" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Rabb-Hole Rabb Hole" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl ldWYvC summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Cultural Comment</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/culture/cultural-ment/the-rabb-hole-rabb-hole" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Rabb-Hole Rabb Hole</div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Kathryn Schulz</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff hlYhBH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eamwqR" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="On Killg Charl Dickens" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl ldWYvC summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Life and Letters</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">On Killg Charl Dickens</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="On Killg Charl Dickens" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">I did everythg I uld to avoid wrg my historil novel. When I fally started “The Frd,” one prciple was clear: no Dickens.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Zadie Smh</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff hlYhBH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eamwqR" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Novelist Whose Inventns Went Too Far" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl ldWYvC summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Life and Letters</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Novelist Whose Inventns Went Too Far</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Novelist Whose Inventns Went Too Far" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">After the Ao-Cuban wrer H. G. Carrillo died, his hband learned that almost everythg the wrer had shared about his life was ma up—cludg his Cuban inty.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>D. T. 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HOW ONE MOTHER’S LOVE FOR HER GAY SON STARTED A REVOLUTN

'WE'RE NOT HIDG': GAY AND LBIAN RSIANS SAY A CULTURAL SHIFT IS UNRWAY

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HOW ONE MOTHER’S LOVE FOR HER GAY SON STARTED A REVOLUTN

'WE'RE NOT HIDG': GAY AND LBIAN RSIANS SAY A CULTURAL SHIFT IS UNRWAY

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* KATHRYN SCHULZ GAY

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