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" /><meta name="robots" ntent="max-image-preview:large,max-snippet:-1,max-vio-preview:30" /><lk rel="apple-touch-in" href="/_assets/sign-tokens/oprahdaily/static/imag/" /><meta property="og:image" ntent="" /><meta property="og:image:width" ntent="1200" /><meta property="og:image:height" ntent="600" /><meta name="thumbnail" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent=" /><meta name="twter:image" ntent="" /><meta ntent=" property="og:url" /><meta name="to-publish" ntent="timely" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="article" /><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image" /><meta name="article:opn" property="article:opn" /><meta ntent="Relatnships" property="article:sectn" /><meta ntent="2021-11-02T01:17:13Z" property="article:modified_time" /><meta ntent="2019-06-27T20:45:00Z" property="article:published_time" /><meta name="sailth.excerpt" ntent=" Margalized muni the U.S. are gog through a tough time—to say the least. 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73.75rem){{font-size:3.875rem;le-height:1.05;}} span:first-of-type:before{-webk-background-posn:center;background-posn:center;background-repeat:no-repeat;-webk-background-size:ver;background-size:ver;ntent:'';display:block;height:1.125rem;width:1.375rem;} span:first-of-type:before{background-image:url('/_assets/sign-tokens/oprahdaily/static/imag/');}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){ span:first-of-type:before{marg:1.25rem to;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){ span:first-of-type:before{marg:1.75rem to;}}</style><h1 class="css-nno972 exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>6 Ways to Rpectfully Be a Better LGBTQ Ally<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 157op6k">{font-fay:Juana,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.3125rem;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:-0.01em;le-height:1.2;marg-bottom:0;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:1.25rem;paddg-right:1.25rem;}} p{marg:0rem;} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-157op6k exadjwu8"><p>Start by regnizg the muni' stggl. </p></div><style data-emotn="css 18sv25j">{display:block;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.8125rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0.625rem 0 0.3125rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{marg-top:1.35rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg-top:1.75rem;}} addrs{marg:0rem;} span{display:le-block;le-height:1.6;marg:0rem;}</style><div class="css-18sv25j exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css 11sx28l">{font-style:normal;paddg-right:0.3125rem;display:block;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.8125rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0.625rem 0 0.3125rem;}</style><addrs class="css-11sx28l ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css 2rg66j">{paddg-right:0.3125rem;display:block;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.8125rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0.625rem 0 0.3125rem;}</style><span class="css-2rg66j ehvvd9m1"><style data-emotn="css 1sa04t">{borr-radi:50%;vertil-align:middle;marg-right:0.3125rem;object-f:ver;}</style><img src="" alt="Headshot of Francis Pallarés-Santiago" tle="Headshot of Francis Pallarés-Santiago" width="40" height="40" dg="async" fetchPrry="high" class=" css-1sa04t ehvvd9m0" />By <style data-emotn="css 7l5upj">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/17591/ancis-pallar-santiago/" class="css-7l5upj e1c1bym14">Francis Pallarés-Santiago</a></span><style data-emotn="css 1gryrf1">{display:le-block;text-transform:unset;marg-left:0.625rem;}</style><time class="css-1gryrf1 exadjwu6">Published: Jun 27, 2019</time></addrs></div><style data-emotn="css wkpw2c">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><div class="no-prt css-wkpw2c exadjwu15"><style data-emotn="css 1hpjtwr">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;posn:relative;marg-top:0.9375rem;}</style><div class="ntent-hear-actns css-1hpjtwr exadjwu14"><style data-emotn="css rx4sqf">{background-lor:#E61957;lor:#ffffff;borr:th solid transparent;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:row;-ms-flex-directn:row;flex-directn:row;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;paddg:0.625rem 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335qep">{posn:relative;width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;vertil-align:top;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="Gture, Hand, Fger, Foot, Leg, Thumb, Clip art, " tle="Gture, Hand, Fger, Foot, Leg, Thumb, Clip art, " width="1000" height="1000" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-335qep exi4f7p0" /></div><style data-emotn="css 5kpeya">{font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.70003rem;letter-spacg:0.05em;le-height:2rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0;}} span{lor:#6F6F6F;}</style><figptn class="css-5kpeya enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css bdkd9">{lor:#6F6F6F;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.2;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><span class="css-bdkd9 e6iqd2">Temi Oyelola </span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css z6i669">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-z6i669 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css 18vfmjb">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0"> Margalized muni the U.S. are gog through a tough time—to say the least. </p><p data-no-id="1" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">In the last few years we’ve seen fai beg torn apart over <style data-emotn="css 9cezh6">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:#E61957;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="immigratn" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">immigratn</a>, risg threats to women's <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="reproductive rights" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">reproductive rights</a>, bans that prevent the <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="trans muny" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">trans muny</a> om workg, and an overall crease reported <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="hate crim" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">hate crim</a> based on race, sexual orientatn, genr, and relign. </p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Echog <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Oprah’s keynote speech" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Oprah’s keynote speech</a> at the openg of the <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Statue of Liberty Mm" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Statue of Liberty Mm</a> New York last year, “We live divisive tim, but I thk 's only ftg that at this cril moment, we remember that the one ia that stas the soul of Ameri above all others is eedom." For that reason, we mt put our differenc asi, advote for each other's basic human rights, and bee better alli. </p><p data-no-id="4" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">But what is allyship to beg wh? <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Merriam-Webster" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Merriam-Webster</a> f the word ally as "a sovereign or state associated wh another by treaty or league." That is te, however, there's one fn that accurately fs what we're discsg: "One that is associated wh another as a helper: a person or group that provis assistance and support an ongog effort, activy, or stggle." </p><p data-no-id="5" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">For the LGBTQ muny, <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="an ally" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">an ally</a> is a straight and/or cisgenr person who supports and advot for LGBTQ people. Often, alli e together at Pri events, for stance, to uplift and strengthen the muny—<a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="particularly Black and brown LGBTQ people" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">particularly Black and brown LGBTQ people</a> who face greater threats of vlence.</p><style data-emotn="css 8c6v">{posn:absolute;left:-10000px;top:to;width:1px;height:1px;overflow:hidn;}</style><div data-ad-exclu class="css-8c6v ehha8ut0">This ntent is imported om poll. You may be able to fd the same ntent another format, or you may be able to fd more rmatn, at their web se.</div><div data-embed="poll" data-no-id="6" class="embed css-0 ektkw391"><style data-emotn="css 1d3w5wq">{width:100%;}</style><div height="150" class="css-1d3w5wq ektkw390"></div><style data-emotn="css vaxtlc">{borr:none;overflow:hidn;}</style><iame id="poll-a3a8d66c-86af-4643-8188-5f8a73a30c4e_405e18d0b9a6f" tle="Poll ntent" height="150" width="100%" aria-hidn="te" data-src=" class="poll lazyload css-vaxtlc ektkw392"></iame></div><p data-no-id="7" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">And while there is no okie-cutter way of beg an ally, dog so requir tn, advocy, actn, and a sire to learn om your mistak. We sat down wh a few experts to outle how to be an LGBTQ ally. </p><style data-emotn="css 18pb4rg">{borr:0;borr-bottom:th solid black;marg:1.875rem 0;clear:both;}</style><hr data-no-id="8" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><style data-emotn="css 1m6q79k">{font-fay:Juana,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:-0.005em;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.125rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg-top:1.875rem;marg-bottom:1.875rem;font-size:2.375rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.625rem;le-height:1.1;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><h2 data-no-id="9" class="body-h2 css-1m6q79k et3p2gv0">Regnize your privilege and e for good. </h2><p data-no-id="10" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">It's difficult to unrstand the reali of discrimatn whout experiencg them first-hand. And for many, acknowledgg our societal advantag (<a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="privilege" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">privilege</a>) n be a challenge that often leads to what Oprah scrib as an aha moment. </p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="11" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css y6rgkz">{borr:th solid #CDCDCD;borr-bottom:th solid black;borr-left:0;borr-right:0;borr-top:th solid black;borr-width:0.75rem;marg-bottom:1.875rem;marg-top:1.875rem;paddg:0.625rem 0 0.25rem;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{marg-top:1.875rem;marg-bottom:1.875rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-top:2.5rem;marg-bottom:2.5rem;}}</style><asi class="css-y6rgkz e6pr2lz5"><style data-emotn="css whsy2b">{borr-bottom:th solid black;display:block;font-fay:Juana,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:500;letter-spacg:0.1em;marg:0rem;marg-bottom:0.3125rem;paddg-bottom:0.625rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.3125rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><h6 class="css-whsy2b e6pr2lz3"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 8lle59">{max-width:lc(100% - 120px - .625rem);}</style><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Stori</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css c4s2gi">{paddg:0rem;marg:0rem;list-style:none;}</style><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><style data-emotn="css 1b7ml99">{font-fay:Juana,Geia,Tim,Serif;paddg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.2;}}{borr-bottom:th solid black;paddg-bottom:1.25rem;} a{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;} a>img{borr-radi:0.1875rem;}</style><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><style data-emotn="css 1bn7a5e">{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-box-flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-wrap:wrap;-ms-flex-wrap:wrap;flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-directn:row;-ms-flex-directn:row;flex-directn:row;-webk-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webk-jtify-ntent:flex-start;jtify-ntent:flex-start;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><a href="/life/work-money/a27921531/how-to-share-genr-pronouns-workplace/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="The Right Way to Use Genr Pronouns at Work" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 1l0u1">{marg-right:0.625rem;height:to;}</style><img src="" alt="Text, Font, Le, Rectangle, Brand, Logo, " tle="Text, Font, Le, Rectangle, Brand, Logo, " width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">The Right Way to Use Genr Pronouns at Work</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/life/relatnships-love/g27629860/glossary-of-lgbtq-terms/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="34 LGBTQ Terms You Should Know " data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="lgbtq terms" tle="LGBTQ Terms" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">34 LGBTQ Terms You Should Know </span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/life/a27657496/stonewall-rts-signifince-facts/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="What Happened at Stonewall?" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="Photograph, Snapshot, Event, Black-and-whe, Monochrome, Photography, Crowd, " tle="Photograph, Snapshot, Event, Black-and-whe, Monochrome, Photography, Crowd, " width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">What Happened at Stonewall?</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="12" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">An example of privilege? Simply <em>existg</em> as a cisgenr person—and not facg discrimatn for your genr at work. One four transgenr people have lost a job due to bias, acrdg to the <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Natnal Center for Transgenr Equaly" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Natnal Center for Transgenr Equaly</a>, and more than three-fourths have experienced some form of workplace discrimatn. </p><p data-no-id="13" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">That said, regnizg your advantag n lead to feelgs of disfort, anger, shame, or guilt. Try not to dwell on those feelgs and stead channel that energy a posive way. “Regnize that you’re not rponsible for buildg the system. But you are rponsible for what you do wh that knowledge, how you move on om there, and what you do wh your privilege,” says Brooklyn-based licensed therapist <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Amelia Yankey" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Amelia Yankey</a>, LCSW, who works wh members of the LGBTQ muny sufferg om trma. </p><p data-no-id="14" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">She adds, “I thk of allyship as acknowledgg unjt privilege that you have and workg to end the stctur that give you that privilege.” <br /></p><hr data-no-id="15" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><h2 data-no-id="16" class="body-h2 css-1m6q79k et3p2gv0"><strong>Ask ted qutns—and do your own rearch. </strong></h2><p data-no-id="17" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">It's wise to bsh up on the issu that currently affect var members of the LGBTQ muny. But remember, ’s unfair to expect LGBTQ people to relive their trma (a.k.a. someone's g out experience) or validate their existence for your own unrstandg. Yankey's suggtn? “Do some rearch onle and shift some of the emotnal burn off of the people your life who have another inty that you’re privileged relatn to.”</p><p data-no-id="18" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">It’s okay to ask qutns, but gut-check yourself to ensure they're not offensive or cumbersome. If you’re havg trouble unrstandg certa topics, like <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="the importance of g genr pronouns" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">the importance of g genr pronouns</a>, fd rourc that will help you navigate those ncepts. </p><hr data-no-id="19" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><h2 data-no-id="20" class="body-h2 css-1m6q79k et3p2gv0"><strong>Get fortable wh beg unfortable. </strong></h2><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="21" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><asi class="css-y6rgkz e6pr2lz5"><h6 class="css-whsy2b e6pr2lz3"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Stori</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/life/a23601818/queer-cultural-appropriatn-fn/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="What Is Queer Appropriatn? An Explanatn" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="Performance, Event, Performg arts, Sgg, Backg volist, Mic artist, Mic, Talent show, Song, Mil theatre, " tle="Performance, Event, Performg arts, Sgg, Backg volist, Mic artist, Mic, Talent show, Song, Mil theatre, " width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">What Is Queer Appropriatn? An Explanatn</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/entertament/books/g27455697/bt-lgbtq-books-ever/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="115 Queer Authors Share Their Fave LGBTQ Books" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="lgbtq books" tle="115 Queer Authors Share Their Fave LGBTQ Books" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">115 Queer Authors Share Their Fave LGBTQ Books</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/entertament/a24434123/pls-drag-race-alyssa-edwards-dancg-queen/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Drag Race Star Alyssa Edwards on Overg Fear " data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="Tazo Tea Alyssa Edwards " tle="Tazo Tea Alyssa Edwards " width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Drag Race Star Alyssa Edwards on Overg Fear </span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="22" class="body-text css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">It's possible that you'll make mistak while gettg better acquated wh the LGBTQ muny—and that's okay. “Allyship is actually more about the mistak than the thgs that you do right. It’s about how you al wh those mistak and move forward,” says human rights advote <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Maybe Burke" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Maybe Burke</a>, who provis allyship trag on behalf of the <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Transgenr Trag Instute" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Transgenr Trag Instute</a>. Let people know om the start that you’re open to guidance and feedback. The more you open up, the easier will be to learn and munite effectively.</p><p data-no-id="23" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">If you ms up, try not to dulge negative feelgs. “Makg mistak don’t make you a terrible person, jt means you’ve got some learng to do. The pot is not to be perfect, the pot is for all to be ee,” says Yankey. </p><p data-no-id="24" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Avoid makg a scene out of apologizg or gettg fensive. Yankey adds,“Give yourself a mute and acknowledge the possibily they [margalized people] might be right, and that they’re not tryg to attack you or hurt you.” Apologize and aim to do better next time. </p><hr data-no-id="25" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><h2 data-no-id="26" class="body-h2 css-1m6q79k et3p2gv0"><strong>Take your onle activism to real-life scenars. </strong></h2><p data-no-id="27" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Social media is a wonrful tool for buildg muny, tg others, and ung margalized groups whout support systems. But also mak easy for alli to speak on behalf of the LGBTQ muny, spe not havg the same stggl. </p><p data-no-id="28" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">To prevent that om happeng, Burke suggts you <em>"</em>-center yourself om the work. Use your platforms to speak about issu but also amplify the voic of those ls heard." Then, be sure to get volved and actively show your support. Fd lol anizatns to volunteer your time wh and donate to. </p><p data-no-id="29" class="body-text css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0"><strong>6 LGBTQ non-profs you n work wh today:</strong></p><style data-emotn="css 1rk79nl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;marg:0.9375rem 0 0 0.625rem;paddg:0 0 0 1.25rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:0.9375rem 0;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;} li{paddg-bottom:0.625rem;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} li::marker{lor:#323232;}</style><ul data-no-id="30" class="css-1rk79nl et3p2gv0"><li><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="GLSEN" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">GLSEN</a> <br />Missn: Create safe and affirmg schools for all, regardls of sexual orientatn, genr inty, or genr exprsn.<br /></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="The Ali Forney Center" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">The Ali Forney Center</a><br />Missn: Protect LGBTQ youths om the harms of homelsns and empower them wh the tools need to live penntly.<br /></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="The Trevor Project" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">The Trevor Project<br /></a>Missn: Provi crisis terventn and suici preventn servic to lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer & qutng (LGBTQ) young people unr 25.<br /></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Immigratn Equaly" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Immigratn Equaly</a><br />Missn: Advote for and reprent lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer (LGBTQ), and HIV-posive immigrants seekg safety, fair treatment, and eedom.<br /></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Sylvia Rivera Law Project" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">Sylvia Rivera Law Project<br /></a>Missn: Work to guarantee that all people are ee to self-terme their genr inty and exprsn, regardls of e or race, and whout facg harassment, discrimatn, or vlence.<br /></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="SAGE" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">SAGE<br /></a>Missn: SAGE is a natnal anizatn that offers supportive servic and nsumer rourc to LGBT olr people and their regivers.</li></ul><hr data-no-id="31" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><h2 data-no-id="32" class="body-h2 css-1m6q79k et3p2gv0">Speak up for the unrreprented. </h2><p data-no-id="33" class="body-text css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">The bt way to enurage allyship is to simply start a nversatn. If you hear or see somethg that's damagg towards the LGBTQ muny, gently pot out the problem and e as a teachable moment. “There is a pot advocy where you need the people who hold the privilege to start the nversatn, bee otherwise they [margalized muni] don’t get heard," Burke says. As people who hold posns of privilege, ’s up to to advote for those whose voic are shut down. </p><p data-no-id="34" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Yankey adds, “Let them [loved on] know how their behavr affects you and how affects them. Dog that as someone wh privilege stead of forcg the folks whout privilege to do so n be an important act of allyship.” <br /></p><p data-no-id="35" class="body-text css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0"><strong>Four ways to advote for the LGBTQ muny:</strong></p><ul data-no-id="36" class="css-1rk79nl et3p2gv0"><li>Correct people if they misgenr someone, even if that someone isn't the room.</li><li>Speak up when a person slurs or sensive and racially-charged language.</li><li>Promote diversy the workplace. Update your email signature to clu pronouns.</li><li>Show your support by wearg a Pri p or postg a flag. </li></ul><hr data-no-id="37" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><h2 data-no-id="38" class="body-h2 css-1m6q79k et3p2gv0"><strong>Follow the lead of your LGBTQ peers. </strong></h2><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="39" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><asi class="css-y6rgkz e6pr2lz5"><h6 class="css-whsy2b e6pr2lz3"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Stori</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/life/a22676526/fg-homophobia/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="I Used to Be Homophobic—Until This Happened" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="Rabow flag" tle="Rabow flag" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">I Used to Be Homophobic—Until This Happened</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/entertament/a26623472/andy-hen-baby-boy-dad-shamg/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Please Stop Dad-Shamg Andy Cohen " data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="Watch What Happens Live - Season 13" tle="Watch What Happens Live - Season 13" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Please Stop Dad-Shamg Andy Cohen </span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li><li class="css-1b7ml99 e6pr2lz2"><a href="/entertament/tv-movi/a26293191/gay-hollywood-rom-/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Why Are We Still Wag for a Major Gay Rom-Com?" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="Human, Art, Prophet, " tle="Human, Art, Prophet, " width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Why Are We Still Wag for a Major Gay Rom-Com?</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="40" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">While you may want to immediately fend your LGBTQ peers if they're beg attacked, make sure you do not overshadow or occupy a queer person's right to speak up for themselv—a phenomenon known as <em>performative allyship</em>. As Burke pots out, 's not okay to nsistently prove you are an ally as a way of feelg accepted by the LGBTQ muny. Remember to e your privilege to benef the muny—not your ego. </p><p data-no-id="41" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">“People should have fluence over cisns proportnate to how they’re affected by them," Yankye says. She suggts you ask LGBTQ lears how they n be supported, rather than assumg a role. </p><p data-no-id="42" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Ask the muny lears how you n get volved stead of assumg a role they may not need you . “Make sure folks wh ls privilege have learship posns and follow their lead," Yankey adds. </p><p data-no-id="43" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Ultimately, 's about takg small steps together towards achievg the greater goal of equaly. </p><hr data-no-id="44" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><p data-no-id="45" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0"><strong><em>For more ways to live your bt life pl all thgs Oprah, <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="sign up for our newsletter!" class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0">sign up for our newsletter!</a></em><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn class="body-lk css-9cezh6 et3p2gv0"></a></strong></p><style data-emotn="css 1v2eakg">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:90%;}}{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:95%;}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:75%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:65%;}}</style><div data-no-id="46" data-teractive="VioPlayer-1" class="embed aspect-rat-16x9 css-1v2eakg e3dq3y0"><style data-emotn="css 1ui7hop">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css 1iiivv4">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;top:50%;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-1iiivv4 e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in

how to be a good lgbt ally