Urban Dictnary: gay hag

Contents:

• GAY HAG
• THE MYTH OF THE FAG HAG AND DIRTY SECRETS OF THE GAY MALE SUBCULTURE
• LADI: I'M NOT YOUR GAY BOYIEND
• KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIENDBARBIE’S BELOVED BEARD?FOR YEARS, PEOPLE HAVE QUTNED WHAT ROLE KEN REALLY PLAYS BARBIE’S LIFE. BUT THE TTH IS PLA SIGHT: KEN’S NOT BOYIEND MATERIAL. AT LEAST, NOT FOR BARBIE.BARRY LEVTFREELANCE WRERPUBLISHED JUL. 21, 2023 4:35AM EDT PHOTO ILLTRATN BY THE DAILY BEAST/GETTYIT’S BARBIE WEEK AT THE DAILY BEAST’S OBSSED, CELEBRATG THE DOLL’S POP-CULTURE HISTORY, OUR FAVORE BARBIE MEMORI, AND A CERTA MAJOR MOVIE. READ ALL OF OUR VERAGE HERE!“SHE’S EVERYTHG. HE’S JT KEN.” THAT’S THE TAGLE FOR THE WILDLY ANTICIPATED BARBIE MOVIE, DIRECTED BY GRETA GERWIG AND STARRG MARGOT ROBBIE AND RYAN GOSLG. THE IMPLITN IS CLEAR: COME FOR BARBIE, AND STAY FOR BARBIE… BUT KEN HAPPENS TO BE THERE TOO.KEN HAS LONG BEEN SEEN AS NOTHG BUT BARBIE’S HUMAN ACCSORY, BUT WASN’T ALWAYS THIS WAY FOR THE POOR MISUNRSTOOD DOLL. WHEN KEN WAS FIRST TRODUCED 1961, HIS FIRST MERCIAL TRIED TO POSN HIM AS BARBIE’S EQUAL AND, UNMISTAKABLY, BOYIEND. “GET BOTH BARBIE AND KEN AND SEE WHERE THE ROMANCE WILL LEAD!” THE MERCIAL PROMISED.SCE THEN, LIKE BARBIE, KEN HAS UNRGONE UNTLS TRANSFORMATNS AND FASHNS. BUT AS TIME WENT ON, KEN FOUND HIMSELF AN AFTERTHOUGHT. TOYMAKERS MATTEL NEVER GAVE HIM THE SAME KD OF BACKSTORI AS BARBIE—WHILE SHE’S HAD OVER 200 REERS, KEN HAS HAD JT SOME 40-ODD PROFSNS. (AN CREDIBLE AMOUNT OF JOBS FOR A PERSON, SURE. BUT FOR A DOLL? EMBARRASSG.) BARBIE HAS STARRED LOTS OF VIO GAM AND MORE THAN THREE DOZEN FILMS; KEN HAS HAD A MAJOR ROLE A MERE HANDFUL OF THEM. BUT THERE’S ONE KEY REASON WHY KEN IS ALWAYS LAGGG SIGNIFINTLY BEHD BARBIE AND 'S A LOT EPER THAN THE DOLL’S SEEMG LACK OF POPULARY: KEN HAS BEEN MISST. HE’S NOT BARBIE’S BOYIEND. HE’S BARBIE’S GAY BT IEND.DPE MATTEL’S SISTENCE THAT BARBIE AND KEN ARE A HAPPY ROMANTIC RELATNSHIP, THERE’S PLENTY OF SPECULATN ABOUT KEN’S SEXUALY. EVEN IF HIS MAKERS CLAIM HIM TO BE STRAIGHT, THERE’S MOUNTG PROOF TO THE NTRARY. PERHAPS THE MOST DISPUTABLE EVINCE THAT KEN IS FACT BOTH A MEMBER OF THE QUEER MUNY AND BARBIE’S BTIE, NOT BOY TOY, OM A RATHER SURPRISG PLACE: 2010’S TOY STORY 3.IN TOY STORY 3, BARBIE AND KEN PLAY A SURPRISGLY LARGE ROLE. THEIR TRODUCTN TO THE FILM IS TGED WH ROMANTIC TENSN. WHEN THE PAIR MEET, THE FILM VOK A MON TROPE: A ROMANTIC NEEDLE DROP HS THE MOMENT THE LOVERS LOCK EY. IN THIS SE, ’S “DREAM WEAVER” BY GARY WRIGHT. AS FAR AS BARBIE AND KEN ARE NCERNED, THEY’RE THE ONLY ON THE ROOM. “I LOVE YOUR LEG WARMERS!” KEN TELLS BARBIE. “NICE AST,” SHE BANTERS, WH HEAVY EMPHASIS ON THE FIRST SYLLABLE. BEFORE THGS GET TOO HEATED, THEY LOCK ARMS AND WALK OFF TOGETHER. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO / THE DAILY BEAST / GETTY LET’S BE HONT—SPE THE ROMANTIC OVERTON OF THE SCENE, THEIR BRIEF EXCHANGE TELLS EVERYTHG ABOUT HOW THEY SEE EACH OTHER. KEN DON’T MENTN ANYTHG ABOUT BARBIE’S BODY, STEAD HIGHLIGHTG HER LEG WARMERS. BUT BARBIE IS UNSUBTLY TRYG TO SCE KEN JT TWO WORDS. SHE’S AFTER KEN, BUT KEN IS AFTER SOMEONE WHOSE CLOTH HE N ADMIRE.SURE, LATER THE FILM, KEN AND BARBIE SAY “I LOVE YOU” TO EACH OTHER. AND THEY GO BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN SAYG EACH WORD OF “I LOVE YOU”—SO SOMEONE DIFFERENT N SAY “LOVE” EACH TIME, AS KEN EXPLAS. HE MENTNS OFFHAND THAT HE HAS EVERYTHG EXCEPT SOMEONE TO SHARE WH. BARBIE AND KEN EVEN NUZZLE THEIR NOS TOGETHER. Y, THERE’S FELY LOVE BETWEEN IENDS—BUT THROUGH ALL, THERE’S NOT A HT OF SEXUAL CHEMISTRY.LOOK, I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THKG—SIR, THIS IS TOY STORY; WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU EXPECTG? IF YOU LOOK AT OTHER ROMANC THE ANCHISE—WOODY AND BO PEEP, AND JSE AND BUZZ—THERE’S NO DOUBT THAT THERE’S REAL LOVE THERE BETWEEN THE SENTIENT TOYS. THEIR PASSN FOR ONE ANOTHER TRANSCENDS MORE THAN SIMPLY BEG TERTED EACH OTHER’S OUTFS. THE SAME NNOT BE SAID OF THE MATTEL DOLLS. THAT’S MA EVINT WHEN KEN FALLY GETS AN OPPORTUNY FOR TIMACY WH BARBIE. “THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS,” HE TELLS BARBIE WHEN THEY FALLY GO TO HIS DREAMHOE TOGETHER, HAVG PARENTS ALL OVER THE WORLD CLUTCHG THEIR PEARLS. BUT FEAR NOT: KEN SIMPLY TAK BARBIE TO… HIS WALK- WARDROBE. ANY SEMBLANCE OF ROMANCE MAK WAY FOR IENDSHIP, WHEN THE PAIR JUBILANTLY PESE KEN’S OUTFS. AND STEAD OF DOG SOMETHG WILD LIKE KISSG BARBIE, KEN PUTS ON A FASHN SHOW FOR HER STEAD. THE FILM WON’T SAY , BUT A POST-CREDS PUNCHLE ABOUT KEN’S HANDWRG, PLETE WH HEARTS AND STARS SURROUNDG HIS NAME, TELLS WHAT WE NEED TO KNOW.THE HEAVILY IMPLIED NATURE OF KEN’S GAYNS TOY STORY 3 HARKENS BACK TO HOLLYWOOD’S TRADNAL GAY BT IEND-TYPE CHARACTERS. IN THE HAYS CO ERA, EXPLIC REFERENC TO HOMOSEXUALY WEREN’T ALLOWED, SO CHARACTERS LIKE VAN BUREN (FRANKL PANGBORN) 1937’S EASY LIVG, KIP (DAVID WAYNE) 1949’S ADAM’S RIB, OR ADDISON (GEE SANRS) 1950’S ALL ABOUT EVE STEAD WERE IMBUED WH EFFEMATE CHARACTERISTICS, OFFERG A GLIMPSE OUTSI OF HETERONORMATIVY WHOUT EXPLICLY BEG QUEER.NONE OF THE CHARACTERS WERE THE SAME—SOME WERE TTY, OTHERS SWEET. SOME HAD ULTERR MOTIV, AND OTHERS OFFERED UNNDNAL SUPPORT. BUT EACH OF THE GAY BT IENDS WAS TRSILLY FED BY THEIR RELATNSHIPS WH THEIR STRAIGHT IENDS. WE NEVER REALLY LEARNED MUCH ABOUT THEM AS DIVIDUALS. THEY LIVED ON THE MARGS, FLHG OUT THEIR STRAIGHT UNTERPARTS, HARDLY HAVG A PURPOSE WHOUT THEM; THAT PORTRAYAL REMAS TE TODAY. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO / THE DAILY BEAST / PHOTOS BY GETTY / WARNER BROS. DES LATER, 2010, THE GAY BT IEND WAS ALL THE RAGE; TEEN VOGUE EVEN WENT SO FAR AS TO PROCLAIM THE GBF AS THE SUMMER’S MT-HAVE ACCSORY. BUT UNLIKE THE FIRST HALF OF THE 20TH CENTURY, TODAY’S CEMA, THE GBF IS ALLOWED TO BE OPENLY GAY. AT THE SAME TIME, THEY STILL BARELY REGISTER AS PEOPLE WH CHARACTER TRAS BEYOND THEIR RELATNSHIPS WH THEIR STRAIGHT UNTERPARTS. IN MOVI LIKE MEAN GIRLS (2004), THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA (2006), EASY A (2010), NO STRGS ATTACHED (2011), AND ISN’T IT ROMANTIC (2019), GAY IENDS EXIST ENTIRELY THE ORB OF THEIR FEMALE IENDS. IT’S SUCH A STRONG TROPE THAT EVEN PERSISTS QUEER ROMANTIC EDI: 2020’S HAPPIT SEASON FDS JOHN (DAN LEVY) OFFERG ADVICE AND SNARKY ONE-LERS TO HIS LBIAN BTIE LI OF MEANGFUL CHARACTER VELOPMENT.IN TOY STORY 3, THE SAME IS TE OF KEN. HIS EXISTENCE PENDS ON AND CIRCULAT AROUND BARBIE. IN BARBIE, KEN HAS FOUND SOMEONE WHO REALLY UNRSTANDS HIM. HE DON’T GET ALONG WH THE OTHER TOYS, WHO MOCK HIM FOR BEG A “GIRL'S TOY.” BUT BARBIE LOV FASHN, JT LIKE HE DO. “NO ONE APPRECIAT CLOTH HERE, BARBIE,” KEN LAMENTS TO BARBIE, ABOUT THE OTHER TOYS’ TREATMENT OF HIM. “NO ONE!” BUT BARBIE DO, AND FOR KEN, THAT’S LIFE-CHANGG.THERE ARE PLENTY OF REASONS WHY THE FILM WOULDN’T OUTRIGHTLY STATE THAT KEN IS HOMOSEXUAL. NOT ONLY DO DISNEY SELF HAVE A PLITED HISTORY WH QUEER CHARACTERS, BUT KEN AND BARBIE ARE ALSO THE PROPERTY OF MATTEL, WHICH HAS ALWAYS BEEN STEADFAST ASSERTG KEN’S HETEROSEXUALY. THAT’S NEVER BEEN CLEARER THAN 1993 WHEN THE TOY PANY TRIED TO REIGNE KEN’S POPULARY MATTEL’S SOLUTN? EARRG MAGIC KEN. EARRG MAGIC KEN WAS A FIERCER, FELY MORE QUEER KEN THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS VERSN OF THE DOLL HAD BLEACHED BLON HAIR, A PURPLE LEATHER VT (!), A PK-PURPLE MH TOP (!!), AND OF URSE, AND EARRG THE “GAY EAR”. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL: AROUND KEN’S NECK WAS SOMETHG THAT ANY ACTIVE PARTICIPANT OF THE QUEER SCENE THE ’90S REGNIZED STANTLY—A CK RG (!!!).THE EARRG MAGIC KEN TURNED BARBIE’S BOYIEND TO AN OUT-AND-PROUD HOMOSEXUAL RAVER. MATTEL, OF URSE, VEHEMENTLY NIED ANY CLAIMS THAT KEN WAS GAY, LET ALONE THAT HE HAD SOMETHG AS PREPOSTERO AS A CK RG AROUND HIS NECK. AS LISA MCKENDALL, FORMER MANAGER OF MARKETG AND MUNITNS, SAID AN TERVIEW ABOUT THE DOLL, “WE’RE NOT THE BS OF PUTTG CK RGS TO THE HANDS OF LTLE GIRLS.”REGARDLS OF MATTEL’S TENTNS, ’S HARD TO NY WHAT THE EYE N SEE. DPE THE NAME, CK RGS AT THE TIME WERE ED AS A FASHN ACCSORY AND A SIGN OF FIANT QUEERNS AND SEX POSIVY. AS A RULT, GAY MEN BOUGHT THE DOLL DROV, AND SPE MATTEL ULTIMATELY RELLG THE DOLL AND WIPG AWAY ANY TRACE OF EARRG MAGIC KEN, WAS NEAR-IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE KEN AS ANYTHG BUT THE GLOR HOMOSEXUAL HE WAS BORN TO BE OM THEN ON. MATTEL SPENT THE NEXT UPLE OF S TRYG TO RETA KEN’S MORE HETERONORMATIVE, MASCULE IMAGE, BUT THE VEIL WAS LIFTED, AND THERE WAS NO GOG BACK. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO/THE DAILY BEAST/PHOTOS BY GETTY/WARNER BROS. THOUGH MATTEL DON’T SEEM TO BE WILLG TO SAY KEN IS ACTUALLY GAY, THE KEN DOLLS OF RECENT YEARS SEEM TO REALLY LEAN TO KEN’S QUEERNS. THE YASSIFITN OF KEN IS CLEARLY UNRWAY. WHILE THERE IS NO WAY TO “DRS GAY,” THERE ARE SEVERAL DOLLS THAT SEEM TO SUGGT OTHERWISE, SUCH AS:FASHNISTA KEN #193, WHO LOOKS VERY EXCED TO TELL YOU ABOUT HIS NEW OBSSN, TROYE SIVAN;TRAVEL KEN DOLL, WHO HAS A SATCHEL PERFECT FOR BATHHO AND A PURPLE OVERNIGHT BAG THAT LERALLY PROCLAIMS HE’S “EXTRA;”KEN LOOKS DOLL, SERVG “I’M GONNA GIVE YOU A MAKEOVER”-TYPE REALNS WHILE SPORTG BLACK PLEATHER PANTS;THIS KEN, WHO WEARS THE LEAST HETEROSEXUAL DOUBLE NIM IMAGABLE.WHILE I HAVE A FEELG THE NEW BARBIE MOVIE WILL PUT THE WORK TO NVCE THAT KEN IS A HETERO DU WHO LOV NOTHG LIFE MORE THAN BARBIE HERSELF, THE WRG’S ALREADY ON THE WALL: KEN IS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, BARBIE’S GAY BT IEND.KEEP OBSSG! SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY BEAST’S OBSSED NEWSLETTER AND FOLLOW ON FACEBOOK, TWTER, INSTAGRAM AND TIKTOK.READ MORE OF OUR BARBIE VERAGE HERE. BARRY LEVT

GAY HAG

For some gay men, the word “faggot” should never be spoken outsi of gay circl, and straight, cisgenr women shouldn’t be allowed to say – much the same way that a lot of women would fd misogynistic for a cisgenr man to ll women “hags”. Siarly, Carrie Bradshaw’s relatnship wh her “gay bt iend” Stanford celebrat a playful and long-lastg bond, yet is also ght wh plitns, as Fackler and Salvato pot out: “If Sex and the Cy had s viewers vetg a fabulo sgle life filled wh Manolos and Fendi baguett, also begot another sire among the generatn of women who watched: one for a gay bt iend wh whom to shop. There are plenty of other lorful exprsns that pture this distct mographic rather vividly, some ls sultgly so than others, cludg:• F fly• Queen bee• Queer ar• Fairy godmother• Fag shagger• Queen mag• Hag along• Swish dish• Faggota • Homo honey• Fairy llector• Fairy prcs• Fag But ’s “fag hag” that ronat the public nscns.

The rearchers note that both popular media and everyday exprsn, the term njur up the image of an unattractive, overweight, sperate woman who seeks out the pany of gay men to pensate for her lack of romantic attentn om straight guys.

” Acrdg to the vtigators, the “hag” ponent is sentially the mon belief that the women “do not feel good about their bodi, and as a rult, take refuge the ‘gay world’ to avoid the harsher judgment and emphasis on female physil attractivens herent the heterosexual social scene. She’s also apparently never heard of blogist John Maynard Smh’s “sneaky f*cker” evolutnary hypothis for male homosexualy, which poss that gay men the anctral past had unique accs to the reproductive niche bee femal let their guards down around them and other mal didn't view them as sexual petors.

THE MYTH OF THE FAG HAG AND DIRTY SECRETS OF THE GAY MALE SUBCULTURE

If this were te, the thors reason, then there should be a meangful statistil associatn between a woman’s number of gay male iends and her body teem and relatnship succs— other words, the more pathetic a woman’s romantic life and the more she se herself as beg unsirable to straight men, the more she should seek out gay men as iends. On terpretg this unexpected fdg, the thors suggt that this may actually reflect some re, but nuanced tth of the “fag hag” stereotype: “Perhaps women who perceive themselv as ls sexually attractive velop closer relatnships wh gay men.

The marriage of two rogatory terms, fag and hag, symbolizg the unn of the world's most popular objects of srn, homosexual and woman, creat a moniker that most of those who wear fd offensive, possibly bee smacks of sLg Febary 1, 2004Get the fag-hag mug. Bee this type of woman is generally spoiled by the general lightfulns of gay men, she may srn straight men for their lack of personaly and overall had a borg but blogilly necsary momentary sexual enunter wh a straight man named "Todd, " but she soon grew bored of his attentn and longed to be encircled the warm and safe womb of the gay bar.

LADI: I'M NOT YOUR GAY BOYIEND

‘Surf Girls Hawai’i’ is the Real-Life ‘Blue Csh’ We’ve Waed 21 Years ForOffEnglishIt's a dirty secret of a subculture of the gay male world about women: That they're sentially unwele, unls they e to as a Real Hoewife, a pop diva, or an Tony award wner–or an unassumg fag hag. Whatever the e is, be clear: If there isn't any kd of transactnal exchange happeng, then women lose their value gay male we talk about gay male privilege, 's important that as gay men, we unrstand any of uld've been–or currently are–perpetrators of this culture, simply by beg.

In my earlit days of beg out of the closet–and among women–I've fely been that jerk the room that feigned ignorance about female anatomy, that rpond wh a sneer when a discsn about women's bodi arose; I've been that young gay man that had his llectn of divas who wore better than the rt–pted them agast the llectns of other gay guys. Somewhere along the way, I also realized that gay men had allowed themselv to fall to a lazy and excable t of objectifyg, meang, and dismissg many of are only faiar wh the ia of male privilege beg the provce of straight men that we disunt how gay men are able to exert domance and ntrol over women.

We may fet this bee much of Amerin history has pated gay men as victims–and as gay men, many of blhely buy to this narrative even if isn't our own personal history, bee allows an easy way to assiate to the larger gay male culture. It was like beg stuck on Neverland wh a uple of Lost Boys–'s also the kd of gay male settg where you realize jt how people n take their privilege for the Daily Kos:Gay men may sire the same advantag of manhood as heterosexual men, but gay men simply do not occupy the same social stat and same social space as straight men. Now, almost two years later, the world has bee a dramatilly different place–not pletely different, md you, but different enough where many gay men are begng to enjoy some of the same "advantag of manhood" that straight men are lims and veats.

KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIENDBARBIE’S BELOVED BEARD?FOR YEARS, PEOPLE HAVE QUTNED WHAT ROLE KEN REALLY PLAYS BARBIE’S LIFE. BUT THE TTH IS PLA SIGHT: KEN’S NOT BOYIEND MATERIAL. AT LEAST, NOT FOR BARBIE.BARRY LEVTFREELANCE WRERPUBLISHED JUL. 21, 2023 4:35AM EDT PHOTO ILLTRATN BY THE DAILY BEAST/GETTYIT’S BARBIE WEEK AT THE DAILY BEAST’S OBSSED, CELEBRATG THE DOLL’S POP-CULTURE HISTORY, OUR FAVORE BARBIE MEMORI, AND A CERTA MAJOR MOVIE. READ ALL OF OUR VERAGE HERE!“SHE’S EVERYTHG. HE’S JT KEN.” THAT’S THE TAGLE FOR THE WILDLY ANTICIPATED BARBIE MOVIE, DIRECTED BY GRETA GERWIG AND STARRG MARGOT ROBBIE AND RYAN GOSLG. THE IMPLITN IS CLEAR: COME FOR BARBIE, AND STAY FOR BARBIE… BUT KEN HAPPENS TO BE THERE TOO.KEN HAS LONG BEEN SEEN AS NOTHG BUT BARBIE’S HUMAN ACCSORY, BUT WASN’T ALWAYS THIS WAY FOR THE POOR MISUNRSTOOD DOLL. WHEN KEN WAS FIRST TRODUCED 1961, HIS FIRST MERCIAL TRIED TO POSN HIM AS BARBIE’S EQUAL AND, UNMISTAKABLY, BOYIEND. “GET BOTH BARBIE AND KEN AND SEE WHERE THE ROMANCE WILL LEAD!” THE MERCIAL PROMISED.SCE THEN, LIKE BARBIE, KEN HAS UNRGONE UNTLS TRANSFORMATNS AND FASHNS. BUT AS TIME WENT ON, KEN FOUND HIMSELF AN AFTERTHOUGHT. TOYMAKERS MATTEL NEVER GAVE HIM THE SAME KD OF BACKSTORI AS BARBIE—WHILE SHE’S HAD OVER 200 REERS, KEN HAS HAD JT SOME 40-ODD PROFSNS. (AN CREDIBLE AMOUNT OF JOBS FOR A PERSON, SURE. BUT FOR A DOLL? EMBARRASSG.) BARBIE HAS STARRED LOTS OF VIO GAM AND MORE THAN THREE DOZEN FILMS; KEN HAS HAD A MAJOR ROLE A MERE HANDFUL OF THEM. BUT THERE’S ONE KEY REASON WHY KEN IS ALWAYS LAGGG SIGNIFINTLY BEHD BARBIE AND 'S A LOT EPER THAN THE DOLL’S SEEMG LACK OF POPULARY: KEN HAS BEEN MISST. HE’S NOT BARBIE’S BOYIEND. HE’S BARBIE’S GAY BT IEND.DPE MATTEL’S SISTENCE THAT BARBIE AND KEN ARE A HAPPY ROMANTIC RELATNSHIP, THERE’S PLENTY OF SPECULATN ABOUT KEN’S SEXUALY. EVEN IF HIS MAKERS CLAIM HIM TO BE STRAIGHT, THERE’S MOUNTG PROOF TO THE NTRARY. PERHAPS THE MOST DISPUTABLE EVINCE THAT KEN IS FACT BOTH A MEMBER OF THE QUEER MUNY AND BARBIE’S BTIE, NOT BOY TOY, OM A RATHER SURPRISG PLACE: 2010’S TOY STORY 3.IN TOY STORY 3, BARBIE AND KEN PLAY A SURPRISGLY LARGE ROLE. THEIR TRODUCTN TO THE FILM IS TGED WH ROMANTIC TENSN. WHEN THE PAIR MEET, THE FILM VOK A MON TROPE: A ROMANTIC NEEDLE DROP HS THE MOMENT THE LOVERS LOCK EY. IN THIS SE, ’S “DREAM WEAVER” BY GARY WRIGHT. AS FAR AS BARBIE AND KEN ARE NCERNED, THEY’RE THE ONLY ON THE ROOM. “I LOVE YOUR LEG WARMERS!” KEN TELLS BARBIE. “NICE AST,” SHE BANTERS, WH HEAVY EMPHASIS ON THE FIRST SYLLABLE. BEFORE THGS GET TOO HEATED, THEY LOCK ARMS AND WALK OFF TOGETHER. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO / THE DAILY BEAST / GETTY LET’S BE HONT—SPE THE ROMANTIC OVERTON OF THE SCENE, THEIR BRIEF EXCHANGE TELLS EVERYTHG ABOUT HOW THEY SEE EACH OTHER. KEN DON’T MENTN ANYTHG ABOUT BARBIE’S BODY, STEAD HIGHLIGHTG HER LEG WARMERS. BUT BARBIE IS UNSUBTLY TRYG TO SCE KEN JT TWO WORDS. SHE’S AFTER KEN, BUT KEN IS AFTER SOMEONE WHOSE CLOTH HE N ADMIRE.SURE, LATER THE FILM, KEN AND BARBIE SAY “I LOVE YOU” TO EACH OTHER. AND THEY GO BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN SAYG EACH WORD OF “I LOVE YOU”—SO SOMEONE DIFFERENT N SAY “LOVE” EACH TIME, AS KEN EXPLAS. HE MENTNS OFFHAND THAT HE HAS EVERYTHG EXCEPT SOMEONE TO SHARE WH. BARBIE AND KEN EVEN NUZZLE THEIR NOS TOGETHER. Y, THERE’S FELY LOVE BETWEEN IENDS—BUT THROUGH ALL, THERE’S NOT A HT OF SEXUAL CHEMISTRY.LOOK, I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THKG—SIR, THIS IS TOY STORY; WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU EXPECTG? IF YOU LOOK AT OTHER ROMANC THE ANCHISE—WOODY AND BO PEEP, AND JSE AND BUZZ—THERE’S NO DOUBT THAT THERE’S REAL LOVE THERE BETWEEN THE SENTIENT TOYS. THEIR PASSN FOR ONE ANOTHER TRANSCENDS MORE THAN SIMPLY BEG TERTED EACH OTHER’S OUTFS. THE SAME NNOT BE SAID OF THE MATTEL DOLLS. THAT’S MA EVINT WHEN KEN FALLY GETS AN OPPORTUNY FOR TIMACY WH BARBIE. “THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS,” HE TELLS BARBIE WHEN THEY FALLY GO TO HIS DREAMHOE TOGETHER, HAVG PARENTS ALL OVER THE WORLD CLUTCHG THEIR PEARLS. BUT FEAR NOT: KEN SIMPLY TAK BARBIE TO… HIS WALK- WARDROBE. ANY SEMBLANCE OF ROMANCE MAK WAY FOR IENDSHIP, WHEN THE PAIR JUBILANTLY PESE KEN’S OUTFS. AND STEAD OF DOG SOMETHG WILD LIKE KISSG BARBIE, KEN PUTS ON A FASHN SHOW FOR HER STEAD. THE FILM WON’T SAY , BUT A POST-CREDS PUNCHLE ABOUT KEN’S HANDWRG, PLETE WH HEARTS AND STARS SURROUNDG HIS NAME, TELLS WHAT WE NEED TO KNOW.THE HEAVILY IMPLIED NATURE OF KEN’S GAYNS TOY STORY 3 HARKENS BACK TO HOLLYWOOD’S TRADNAL GAY BT IEND-TYPE CHARACTERS. IN THE HAYS CO ERA, EXPLIC REFERENC TO HOMOSEXUALY WEREN’T ALLOWED, SO CHARACTERS LIKE VAN BUREN (FRANKL PANGBORN) 1937’S EASY LIVG, KIP (DAVID WAYNE) 1949’S ADAM’S RIB, OR ADDISON (GEE SANRS) 1950’S ALL ABOUT EVE STEAD WERE IMBUED WH EFFEMATE CHARACTERISTICS, OFFERG A GLIMPSE OUTSI OF HETERONORMATIVY WHOUT EXPLICLY BEG QUEER.NONE OF THE CHARACTERS WERE THE SAME—SOME WERE TTY, OTHERS SWEET. SOME HAD ULTERR MOTIV, AND OTHERS OFFERED UNNDNAL SUPPORT. BUT EACH OF THE GAY BT IENDS WAS TRSILLY FED BY THEIR RELATNSHIPS WH THEIR STRAIGHT IENDS. WE NEVER REALLY LEARNED MUCH ABOUT THEM AS DIVIDUALS. THEY LIVED ON THE MARGS, FLHG OUT THEIR STRAIGHT UNTERPARTS, HARDLY HAVG A PURPOSE WHOUT THEM; THAT PORTRAYAL REMAS TE TODAY. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO / THE DAILY BEAST / PHOTOS BY GETTY / WARNER BROS. DES LATER, 2010, THE GAY BT IEND WAS ALL THE RAGE; TEEN VOGUE EVEN WENT SO FAR AS TO PROCLAIM THE GBF AS THE SUMMER’S MT-HAVE ACCSORY. BUT UNLIKE THE FIRST HALF OF THE 20TH CENTURY, TODAY’S CEMA, THE GBF IS ALLOWED TO BE OPENLY GAY. AT THE SAME TIME, THEY STILL BARELY REGISTER AS PEOPLE WH CHARACTER TRAS BEYOND THEIR RELATNSHIPS WH THEIR STRAIGHT UNTERPARTS. IN MOVI LIKE MEAN GIRLS (2004), THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA (2006), EASY A (2010), NO STRGS ATTACHED (2011), AND ISN’T IT ROMANTIC (2019), GAY IENDS EXIST ENTIRELY THE ORB OF THEIR FEMALE IENDS. IT’S SUCH A STRONG TROPE THAT EVEN PERSISTS QUEER ROMANTIC EDI: 2020’S HAPPIT SEASON FDS JOHN (DAN LEVY) OFFERG ADVICE AND SNARKY ONE-LERS TO HIS LBIAN BTIE LI OF MEANGFUL CHARACTER VELOPMENT.IN TOY STORY 3, THE SAME IS TE OF KEN. HIS EXISTENCE PENDS ON AND CIRCULAT AROUND BARBIE. IN BARBIE, KEN HAS FOUND SOMEONE WHO REALLY UNRSTANDS HIM. HE DON’T GET ALONG WH THE OTHER TOYS, WHO MOCK HIM FOR BEG A “GIRL'S TOY.” BUT BARBIE LOV FASHN, JT LIKE HE DO. “NO ONE APPRECIAT CLOTH HERE, BARBIE,” KEN LAMENTS TO BARBIE, ABOUT THE OTHER TOYS’ TREATMENT OF HIM. “NO ONE!” BUT BARBIE DO, AND FOR KEN, THAT’S LIFE-CHANGG.THERE ARE PLENTY OF REASONS WHY THE FILM WOULDN’T OUTRIGHTLY STATE THAT KEN IS HOMOSEXUAL. NOT ONLY DO DISNEY SELF HAVE A PLITED HISTORY WH QUEER CHARACTERS, BUT KEN AND BARBIE ARE ALSO THE PROPERTY OF MATTEL, WHICH HAS ALWAYS BEEN STEADFAST ASSERTG KEN’S HETEROSEXUALY. THAT’S NEVER BEEN CLEARER THAN 1993 WHEN THE TOY PANY TRIED TO REIGNE KEN’S POPULARY MATTEL’S SOLUTN? EARRG MAGIC KEN. EARRG MAGIC KEN WAS A FIERCER, FELY MORE QUEER KEN THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS VERSN OF THE DOLL HAD BLEACHED BLON HAIR, A PURPLE LEATHER VT (!), A PK-PURPLE MH TOP (!!), AND OF URSE, AND EARRG THE “GAY EAR”. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL: AROUND KEN’S NECK WAS SOMETHG THAT ANY ACTIVE PARTICIPANT OF THE QUEER SCENE THE ’90S REGNIZED STANTLY—A CK RG (!!!).THE EARRG MAGIC KEN TURNED BARBIE’S BOYIEND TO AN OUT-AND-PROUD HOMOSEXUAL RAVER. MATTEL, OF URSE, VEHEMENTLY NIED ANY CLAIMS THAT KEN WAS GAY, LET ALONE THAT HE HAD SOMETHG AS PREPOSTERO AS A CK RG AROUND HIS NECK. AS LISA MCKENDALL, FORMER MANAGER OF MARKETG AND MUNITNS, SAID AN TERVIEW ABOUT THE DOLL, “WE’RE NOT THE BS OF PUTTG CK RGS TO THE HANDS OF LTLE GIRLS.”REGARDLS OF MATTEL’S TENTNS, ’S HARD TO NY WHAT THE EYE N SEE. DPE THE NAME, CK RGS AT THE TIME WERE ED AS A FASHN ACCSORY AND A SIGN OF FIANT QUEERNS AND SEX POSIVY. AS A RULT, GAY MEN BOUGHT THE DOLL DROV, AND SPE MATTEL ULTIMATELY RELLG THE DOLL AND WIPG AWAY ANY TRACE OF EARRG MAGIC KEN, WAS NEAR-IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE KEN AS ANYTHG BUT THE GLOR HOMOSEXUAL HE WAS BORN TO BE OM THEN ON. MATTEL SPENT THE NEXT UPLE OF S TRYG TO RETA KEN’S MORE HETERONORMATIVE, MASCULE IMAGE, BUT THE VEIL WAS LIFTED, AND THERE WAS NO GOG BACK. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO/THE DAILY BEAST/PHOTOS BY GETTY/WARNER BROS. THOUGH MATTEL DON’T SEEM TO BE WILLG TO SAY KEN IS ACTUALLY GAY, THE KEN DOLLS OF RECENT YEARS SEEM TO REALLY LEAN TO KEN’S QUEERNS. THE YASSIFITN OF KEN IS CLEARLY UNRWAY. WHILE THERE IS NO WAY TO “DRS GAY,” THERE ARE SEVERAL DOLLS THAT SEEM TO SUGGT OTHERWISE, SUCH AS:FASHNISTA KEN #193, WHO LOOKS VERY EXCED TO TELL YOU ABOUT HIS NEW OBSSN, TROYE SIVAN;TRAVEL KEN DOLL, WHO HAS A SATCHEL PERFECT FOR BATHHO AND A PURPLE OVERNIGHT BAG THAT LERALLY PROCLAIMS HE’S “EXTRA;”KEN LOOKS DOLL, SERVG “I’M GONNA GIVE YOU A MAKEOVER”-TYPE REALNS WHILE SPORTG BLACK PLEATHER PANTS;THIS KEN, WHO WEARS THE LEAST HETEROSEXUAL DOUBLE NIM IMAGABLE.WHILE I HAVE A FEELG THE NEW BARBIE MOVIE WILL PUT THE WORK TO NVCE THAT KEN IS A HETERO DU WHO LOV NOTHG LIFE MORE THAN BARBIE HERSELF, THE WRG’S ALREADY ON THE WALL: KEN IS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, BARBIE’S GAY BT IEND.KEEP OBSSG! SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY BEAST’S OBSSED NEWSLETTER AND FOLLOW ON FACEBOOK, TWTER, INSTAGRAM AND TIKTOK.READ MORE OF OUR BARBIE VERAGE HERE. BARRY LEVT

"* That is, if "ourselv" falls wh the prcriptive lims of the gay male inty that's beg modified, packaged, and replited by out gay men workg the realm of mass proxi are troublg example, 2010, Project Runway judge and fashn signer Isaac Mizrahi grabbed Srlet Johansson's breasts on the Goln Glob Red Carpet. But when he acts so tsively wh ltle to no nsequenc, sends a msage to gay men who are still negotiatg their inti and attemptg to figure out how to f to a world that still hasn't found a way to rencile queer inty at The Good Men Project, Yolo Akili wr:At a recent prentatn, I asked all of the gay male stunts the room to raise their hand if the past week they touched a woman's body whout her nsent. Women end up objectifyg gay men as surrogat for girliends or pretty pl on at parti; gay men end up objectifyg women as facto therapists and punchg bags, who are expected to make them feel better about themselv, all while weatherg a sual luge of slurs like "slut", "ho", and "bch.

" When gay men and women n rise above the genred nature of their relatnship, the stctive tennci melt away, but 's more likely that the relatnships Adam Goldman's The Outs, we see this 1:1 rat fail spectacularly as one of the seri' most rivetg and relatable plots. Somehow beg gay has bee a d way for many men to assume there's no wrongdog when they talk about women's bodi, when they jokgly e "ho", "slut", or "bch" as a synonym for "lady" or "woman"–and the sprens wh which they get fensive when lled out for this kd of advantage of gay manhood particular is that many of are plic the way female body image is packaged, marketed, and distributed across media.

Women are worship has bee sid–a way to rerce a myth of aspiratnalism where many gay men dite to the oppose sex that unls they are worthy of achievg this absurdly lofty stat, they are nothg more than terchangeable fag about the language:"Brney is slayg!

Facsi of FemyGay male culture requts womanhood when the form of some kd of othy entertament mody–where we are asked not to actually thk about the woman herself, but the ma-up packaged product before have even intified what nstut womanhood, like garish eye make-up, over-the-top fashn, wildly theatril mannerisms, and so on. "It's tellg then that such a large swath of gay men view beg feme as beg anthetil to self-empowerment or self-actualizatn–that they haven't pletely e to terms wh their sexualy and view femy as somethg that uld unrcut their then happens is not only the pro-active perpetuatn of misogynistic attus, but the rarefitn of an creasgly segmented gay muny where secure gay men arch towards an ialized mascule archetype–and shun trac of feme archetyp that they end up nstctg social worlds where everyone looks, drs, and acts like them–where women creasgly occupy the It Wholale Social Idcy? To be a wallflower at any crowd big cy gay bar is a phenomenal experiment; 's a vantage pot om where you get to observe the polics of how men behave wh each other and size each other up a ntrived ntext where women don't you have such wholale socializg of gay men a universe where women exist only as grand pop ins flashy mic vios on large televisn screens hangg above the bar, you have a culture that has bee plic the social retardatn of a sizable chunk of humany.

What's startlg is that for many young boys, bullyg other queer kids school is what allowed them to f ; so for kids who grew up beg bullied to ultimately replite that same behavr, but to another historilly margalized group shows an amniac tenncy of the gay male muny–one where we don't hold ourselv acuntable, but expect victims to take everythg I wearied of the ttle ll culture of gay bars, I tried an alternative: Simply hangg out wh my iends–whoever they may be–si sexually-agnostic bars. When we llectively wearied of the ttle ll culture of bars general, we took the party to one of our apartments–and s there that we began havg cisive, extend discsns about humany, about genr, about the unlikely objectifitn between straight women and gay men ("It ns both ways, though, " remarked one of my iends). The way gay men might ll an vasive encroachment of personal space a "love tap" or men like Mizrahi regard Srlett Johansson's breasts as punchl or men admonish other men at gay venu for beg "too femme" are jt ways which misogyny is stealthily executed and perpetuated by gay of actually grow up; we actually e to terms wh how horrific this behavr is.

The fact that I uld never actually rry a nversatn wh anyone else bee (1) the mic was turned up so loud we uldn't hear our own voic; or (2) they simply had no yen or abily to rry a nversatn uldn't jtify how much time and money I was spendg at the date turned to me and nodd; 's why, he said, he don't really intify wh the word "gay" anymore and aligns himself wh the "queer" label. "Gay" may have been owned by the muny at large before, but now the word has owners who bend to f their inti–men like Andy Cohen, Ryan Murphy, Ruf Wawright, men who enjoy credible reach and the abily to shape young gay men.

Others, like the privilege to ignore ls powerful people, distort the humany of the holrs as well as the ignored cx of McIntosh's argument foc on male and whe privilege, but is very applible to how gay privilege is fomentg and replitg.

I n unrstand how after s of margalizatn the torch-bearers for the gay world have bee ant on self-prervatn–but this is happeng wh a fair amount of llateral damage to those si their ranks and those who have historilly supported should not mean expectg young boys and men g out to shoehorn themselv to a very narrow nce of genr exprsn. Most talk by wh about equal opportuny seems to me now to be about equal opportuny to try to get to a posn of domance while nyg that systems of domance, McIntosh's ments about whe male privilege n be ported to gay male privilege. While the polilly rrect HRC-, GLAAD-backed appropriatn of gay inty means that "Everyone is wele, " also means that nobody talks about the way gay male privilege–which sometim overlaps wh whe privilege very nspicuo ways–disempowers women, sometim strintly are enuraged not to addrs the ways which gay men might e abive language towards, reference to, or even ont of women.

This tak the strs off focg on exprsns of genr, off sexualy, and emphasiz on actually nnectg wh humans through shared life the PatternTo resign the current packagg of gay male inty would mean to reorient around a love-based approach that fds gay men makg a place at their table for all kds of people–not jt those they em relevant to their terts.

It would been tryg to quash out this "ial gay persona" of the affluencer; would mean holdg one another acuntable as role mols for younger gay would mean for many gay men to unrstand that while a neighborhood like Chelsea New York Cy was once a refuge om heterosexist opprsn, 's now bee the very maw of a siar kd of privilege s earlit settlers were fleeg–a place that may not discrimate by sexualy, but discrimat by class and race. To improve the way we relate to the world around , would mean for many of to acknowledge there are muni where we wield a lot of power–and we have the abily to make "gay" mirror "queer"–where we foc ls on excln, on creatg muni of people who look and act jt like , but rather foc on cln.

Repackagg gay male inty would mean that they unrstand the importance of language and personal space–and that "It's okay bee I'm gay, " is no longer an exce for any kd of lewd may be a slow plod towards equal rights, but 's evable. As gay men ntue to ga the same rights as their straight k, 's up to to remember the history of sufferg and margalizatn–and that we are many ways begng to leapog over the very women who tend to be our earlit adopters after we e out of the n't pull the ladr up behd and objectify om on top.

Some women rent the name "Fag Hag" for multiple reasons cludg the misogyny that along wh the term and are rather referred to as "F Fli", "Mo Hos", "Gay Boy Bunni", "Alternative Liftyle Assistants" or somethg along those l. She's both good iends wh Wicn and Hulklg of said team (and the three of them are the three longt-servg members of the team), and she beme somethg of a surrogate dghter to a gay uple she met when she moved to the Wt Coast after she saved their weddg, while also t-stg for a lbian uple.

In the mil productn lled Fairy Tal, the song "The Gay Guys" is about a woman bemoang how every iend, every boyiend, every hband, and even her father are gay, and warns the man askg her out that before the night is over, she'll probably wd up turng him gay too. Condie Lg of Rick & Steve: The Happit Gay Couple All the World, who mak up for her abily to fd a date (by Rick's own word, she turned him gay high school) by hangg out wh homosexuals (who are ls prone to reject her, or at least, reject her ls vlently) and has a ser disgt of heterosexualy. Comedienne Margaret Cho is a self-scribed fag hag, which she claims stems om growg up San Francis and beg raised almost exclively by gay men; she bond wh the gay kids at her school bee they were outsts jt as much as she was for beg overweight and Asian.

It uld imply that such a woman is unattractive to heterosexual men, is secure about herself regard to heterosexual datg and sex, is nrotic or needy, or is hidg her sexual attractn to gay men or to the particular gay man wh whom she is spendg time.

A fun South Asian girl to whom I'd recently admted I was a "flamg homosexual" was chattg wh me about her boy problems, and, at some pot, the discsn veered onto faiar terrory: "Will & Grace, " the h NBC show about a gay man livg wh his straight female iend.

Of the many gifts that "Will & Grace" btowed upon my generatn of gay men -- creased visibily, cultural chet, a naive unrstandg of New York apartment siz -- one of the most signifint was the popularizatn of the fag hag (a term the show's buttoned-down characters were too mure to even utter on air).

But the ntered gay characters on the show were about as sexual as a pastel-lored rdigan, and the sce the show first aired, the fag and his hag have bee a tired trope everywhere om "Sex and the Cy" (Carrie and her queeny sikick Stanford) to "The Real Hoewiv of Atlanta" (NeNe Leak and her "gay boyiend"). As I moved away om home, to bigger and bigger ci, I disvered that there were lots of scffy and poorly drsed drone-rock-lovg gay men the world -- pecially of my age group -- who had nothg mon wh the Stanfords and Wills I'd seen on TV.

But most of the overeager, self-scribed "fag hags" I enuntered my early 20s had nothg of the brazen outsir about them: They were mure, and nventnal -- wh square-jawed boyiends and gltery sweat pants and seemgly ltle unrstandg of gay culture. Mary Ann Sgleton Armistead Mp’s Tal of the Cy (first serialised newsprt then later a televisn seri) and Doris Fsecker the televisn seri Fame are early exampl – naïve women who arrive the big cy and are beiend by a range of gay men.