The 'gay diet' | Food | The Guardian

Contents:

• HOW GAY IS YOUR FOOD?
• GAY TA/BURRO ON VERMONT... BTCH!
• THE 'GAY DIET'
• GAY BURRO

HOW GAY IS YOUR FOOD?

Chipotle ders also have the optn of roundg up their orrs until June 16 to support The Trevor Project, a suici preventn and crisis terventn anizatn for lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer and qutng young people. N round-up their orr total to the next hight dollar amount on the Chipotle app and to support The Trevor Project, the world's largt suici preventn and mental health anizatn for lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer, and qutng (LGBTQ) young people. Egale works to improve the liv of Two Spir, Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgenr, Queer and Intersex people through rearch, tn, awarens, and legal advocy.

The New York Tim wh the help of Barney's creative ambassador Simon Doonan has cid this week that your food n be gay or article is om the archive of our partner New York Tim wh the help of Barney's creative ambassador Simon Doonan has cid this week that your food n be gay or straight. Apparently, a "gay" food isn't jt a potato that seeks marriage equaly, remds you was born this way, or owns a summer share on Fire Island. Acrdg to Doonan, his new (satiril) book Gay Men Don't Get Fat and his terview wh The Tim today, gay food is lighter, brighter, more artistic, art-directed--food that you'd fd where health and athetics tersect (and that's very different than what Doonan labels "lbian food"--"Organic olive oil, thick porridge, heapg helpgs of wheat germ, " and s ilk).

GAY TA/BURRO ON VERMONT... BTCH!

" We enjoyed Doonan's sweepg gay food generalizatns so we put them to the unscientific, anecdotal tt, assigned them a rpective Ksey ratg and me up wh your (pletely unscientific) gui to the sexualy of food, om gayt to straightt:What is: Shi; Sashimi; Cdo; Seafood Tartare; Ceviche What Doonan Says: "Japane food — that is some serly gay food... Basilly, you’re takg sloppy bs of fish and makg them to the exquise ltle bonbons, and that seems ordately gay to me.

" What Ksey Says: The Ksey 6 is "exclively homosexual" What We Say: That sort of mak sense. You'd only eat this food a rtrant servg an assortment Doonan's other gay foods, whether 's an appetizer at an Italian rtrant or a ma at a Japane rtrant--the place probably serv lighter, stylized fare on stunng, perhaps over-worked plat. The Outlier: Spicy Mayo Anythg Rolls; Supermarket Shi; Any roll wh more than three gredients or one ied object What is: Marons What Doonan Says: "The maron craze is the ne pl ultra of gay foorie.

" What Ksey Says: The Ksey 5 is "predomantly homosexual, only cintally heterosexual" What We Say: Though they look like lorful cheeburgers, y, all tak is an "cintal" n- wh Cool Whip to that gay credibily.

THE 'GAY DIET'

" What Ksey Says: The Ksey 4 is "predomantly homosexual, but more than cintally heterosexual" What We Say: Clearly this isn't the first pairg between the black bean soup and the sour-cream pairg. " What Ksey Says: The Ksey 3 is "equally heterosexual and homosexual" or more simply, bisexual.

GAY BURRO

What We Say: Dpe s fat ntent, Doonan mentns that Caar salad and certa pi may tilt more gay than you'd thk. There are novelty mach ma pecially for pani-makg and grillg and certaly has more flair than a ham and chee on wheat bread--Doonan refers to wheat bread as "ferocly lbian and wildly heterosexual"--but all the hidn meats and chee certaly make this food an equal straddler of gay-straight le. " What Ksey Says: The Ksey 2 is "predomantly heterosexual, but more than cintally homosexual" What We Say: The Tim wrer nces that although the meatloaf is unrelentgly heterosexual, non-potato-based sis like a salad substute n go a long way temperg the Burt Reynolds-ns of this dish.

’" What Ksey Says: The Ksey 1 is "predomantly heterosexual, only cintally homosexual" What We Say: Doonan explas that baked chips are herently gay... " What We Say: Burros are the clearly the hate crime of the gay food world and brg together Doonan's unholy try of meat, chee, and avodo (along wh that dodge-worthy sour cream). A man burro is simply a PENIS and a person that eats a man burro is a person that enjoys givg felac to particular gay guys.

Promote your Disrd server on Urban Dictnary jt 3 clicksfive-man burron: a sexual act volvg ually five homosexual men durg which the participants engage simultaneo anal sex and fondlg of one another's genaliaOne time Mexi I got dnk out of my md and wound up as the beef a five-man "Magil" Bernie Hiller April 19, 2004FlagGet the five-man burro BurroWhen a sweaty fat man ss on a burro and someone fds later and eats I was eatg a burro earlier and found out was a Fat-man Lulu6262 March 7, 2010FlagGet the Fat-man Burro mug. For s, El Gran Burro’s pat was packed on weekends after closg time at a clter of nearby gay dance clubs that terg to the LGBTQ Lato muny, such as Circ Dis, Arena, and Club Tempo. Pedro said he created a special menu em lled “el burro gay” — a regular burro wh chee on top — out of gratu to the loyal LGBTQ ctomer base.

“Gay clients are who really ma the bs a succs, ” Pedro told the Tim.

He won two awards and received a nomatn for his reportg on the lol LGBTQ muny, cludg a two-part vtigatn that exposed anti-gay bullyg of lol high school stunts and the school districts' failure to implement state mandated protectns for LGBTQ stunts. This year, Chipotle is showg off s gay pri -- and one massive burro -- wh a float the 38th annual Capal Pri Para.