Internatnal OCD Foundatn | How Do I Know I’m Not Really Gay/Straight?

Contents:

• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?
• YOUNG PEOPLE, STOP ACTG SO GAY
• WHY DO SOME GAY MEN INTIFY AS “STRAIGHT-ACTG” AND HOW IS IT RELATED TO WELL-BEG?
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• SHOULD STRAIGHT ACTORS STILL PLAY GAY CHARACTERS? 'IT'S PLITED'
• WHY AREN'T GAY ACTORS CAST IN GAY ROL?

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

It is very homogeneo/ hetero-normative and beg a tholic stutn is not the easit environment for queer stunts. So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label. Bee “gay” impli an embracg of the gay liftyle — gay bars, gay pri paras, perhaps multiple sex partners, or even anonymo sex.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia. I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them.

I have treated many men who are of Mormon, Orthodox Jewish, Catholic, and other religns who thk of homosexualy as a pathology. Their pa is excciatg, but I honor their bravery riskg losg everythg to ensure they have a qualy life as a gay man.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight. Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg. Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight.

There isn't any need to change yourself - beg gay is jt another way of simply existg, and there is nothg wrong wh at all.

The fact that I am gay is jt another facet of who I am, jt as beg creative, or optimistic, or havg brown ey is. Beg gay do not necsarily make you any ls mascule or feme, and there is no need or prsure to nform to stereotyp that don't feel right to you - bee you are who you are. There are many, many gay people all sorts of muni, and there are many people there for you when you need support.

WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?

The laws the Bible were maly for health purpos - shunng homosexualy is right next to not gettg tattoos, not eatg pork, and not wearg mixed lens, but you n bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those thgs. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals and want pannship and love jt like anyone else you know.

It is important to note that the Amerin Psychologil Associatn has clared that groups claimg to cure homosexualy are dangero and unhealthy. If you are still beg supported by parents whom you are que sure would disown you for beg gay, may be pnt to wa to tell them until you are pennt.

YOUNG PEOPLE, STOP ACTG SO GAY

You may regret the acceptance of your orientatn the future, pecially if you're a part of the world where the gay muny is beg prosecuted by a specific culture. Article SummaryXIf you stggle wh acceptg your attractn to the same sex, know that beg gay is pletely normal and you n be proud of who you are by fdg support and embracg your dividualy. It’s also important to unrstand that you don’t need to nform to gay stereotyp or tl, as they are artificial social nstcts.

WHY DO SOME GAY MEN INTIFY AS “STRAIGHT-ACTG” AND HOW IS IT RELATED TO WELL-BEG?

A Mnota school district is facg a Department of Jtice vtigatn and a private lawsu over s alleged failure to bat antigay bullyg. A hefty pile of rearch shows that boys as young as 3 years old who break om tradnal genr rol have a high likelihood of beg gay adults. ) The relatnship isn’t one-to-one, however, and ’s certaly not the se that all boys who love Barbie dolls will later intify as gay.

The rrelatn is much weaker the other directn: A disproportnate number of boys who don’t nform to genr stereotyp turn out to be gay men, but lots of gay men played wh G. Thirty of them beme gay or bisexual adults while jt one child om a 34-member genr-nformg ntrol group turned out to be gay.

Gay 3-year-old boys n’t verbalize their sire to be wh a man when they grow up—although many such children exhib cshlike behavr toward adult men—but they may be tryg to learn the behavr that will later attract a male partner. You know the drill, so let's get to sure said a lot of thgs that, if you were to put them on Twter, would have earned you several quote tweets draggg you for ternalized homophobia. Sure, nowadays I n shamelsly walk to a pch black basement a gay club wearg nothg but a jockstrap, e home a wig and heels somehow, then show up to work on Monday that same wig and those same heels and feel perfectly fortable wh myself.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

I ed to feel a lot more like you do right then, I thought if I was gog to be a gay man then I need to quickly tablish everythg I wasn't: I wasn't feme. Did you assume I would thk otherwise, or were you jt tryg to signal to me that you're different om those annoyg homosexuals who wear crop tops and watch Drag Race? It may not be a gltery, extravagant persona, but you, jt like those gays, are both sendg msag wh the language and behavr you choose to employ.

SHOULD STRAIGHT ACTORS STILL PLAY GAY CHARACTERS? 'IT'S PLITED'

I'm not gog to pretend like some people don't make gayns to some kd of petn, that there aren't self-appoted gatekeepers who thk they're the arbers of who is and who is not "gay enough. My bt gus is that 's bee you're not really lookg for approval om other gay men -- even gay men who look and act like you. Thanks to the shownners drivg thentic stori, filmmakers buckg s-old heteronormative paradigms, actors embolned to live more hontly and platforms bankrollg so much of , beg gay, queer, transgenr or any other other has never been more wily embraced the entertament s gural Pri issue, The Hollywood Reporter homed on the talent and makers helpg boost visibily and creatg opportuni for members of the extend LGBTQ muny.

After more than a of Watch What Happens Live Wh Andy Cohen, where he beme the first openly gay host Amerin late night, Bravo's exec turned talent tackl all kds of media (SiriXM show Rad Andy, multiple books), while upliftg and advotg for the LGBTQ muny. I'LL FEEL GOOD ABOUT HOLLYWOOD'S LGBTQ REPRESENTATION WHEN "As much reprentatn as there is, there are very few big gay love stori.

Puttg his stamp on The Ln Kg — he played Timon to great acclaim the billn-dollar-earng Disney reboot — the out-and-proud funnyman will next play Matt Ddge  Amerin Crime Story: Impeachment while his upg Judd Apatow-produced feature at Universal is set to be the first gay rom- om a major stud. Creator of the NBC s One Big Happy and her own YouTube talk show This Jt Out, Feldman recently ma her Netflix edy outright queer, as Dead to Me's sophomore season revealed a lead character to be bisexual.

WHY AREN'T GAY ACTORS CAST IN GAY ROL?

I FELT MOST PROUD TO BE PART OF THE COMMUNITY LAST YEAR WHEN "An openly gay man beme a te ntenr as a printial ndidate. Broadst TV's first openly gay chief exec has ed his new post atop WarnerMedia's direct-to-nsumer bs to she a spotlight. Lee's sophomore film, perd lbian love story Ammone, starrg Kate Wslet and Saoirse Ronan, is due out late 2020 om Neon.

Levy, who -created the show wh dad Eugene, earned legns of admirers fans and crics alike for craftg a same-sex love story a seri that was ee of homophobia. Watchg Rickie Vasquez, a gay character played by an openly gay actor, Wilson Cz, certaly felt like the most hont and rpectful portrayal of a gay teen I had ever seen. I'LL FEEL GOOD ABOUT HOLLYWOOD'S LGBTQ REPRESENTATION WHEN "When 'gay actor, ' 'gay director, ' 'gay wrer, ' 'gay story, ' et cetera, are no longer labels even worth mentng.