The Epimic of Gay Lonels - The Huffgton Post

Contents:

• THEY LIVED A 'DOUBLE LIFE' FOR S. NOW, THE GAY ELRS ARE TELLG THEIR STORI.
• THE 3 GAY MEN ARE A SUCCSFUL, LOVG TRIAD RELATNSHIP — HERE'S HOW IT WORKS
• YOUNG GAY MALE UPLE BED TOGETHER, TIMATE. MASSAGG EACH OTHER. HAPPY GAY IENDSHIP, RELATNSHIP, PRI NCEPT.
• THE HIDN GAY LIV FALLY BEG UNVERED
• GAY MEN TOGETHER
• THE ‘GOLN GAYS’ RETURN TO THE STAGE THE PHILIPP

THEY LIVED A 'DOUBLE LIFE' FOR S. NOW, THE GAY ELRS ARE TELLG THEIR STORI.

”“What bothered me the most was havg to talk to the guys that were beg discharged, and they were not a good state of wellns anyway, bee at that time, was illegal or nsired mental problems to be gay, ” he Cunngham, 82, and Richard Prtt, 78, have llectively spent 115 years the closet.

”Livg a 'double life'Cunngham said he realized he was gay as a teenager, but he didn’t know the word “gay” at the time — he jt knew he was different. The Amerin Psychiatric Associatn also classified homosexualy as a mental disorr the Diagnostic and Statistil Manual of Mental Disorrs until 1973, when that classifitn was replaced wh “sexual orientatn disturbance. ” Homosexualy was pletely removed om the manual 1987, but many stat still had sodomy laws on their books until 2003, when the Supreme Court led such laws unnstutnal.

”Cunngham and Prtt met the mid-'90s while workg for a b pany, but they still didn’t e out bee, acrdg to Cunngham, “If you were gay, you were not promoted. Rearch published the journal The Gerontologist last fall found that lbian, gay and bisexual people have a higher risk of mentia and gnive cle than heterosexual people as they grow olr. The study’s thors found that the creased risk was partially due to higher rat of prsn that olr LGBTQ people experience due to workplace discrimatn, shame and other stigma associated wh their stigma still persists, but the elrs and producers behd “Not Another Send” hope their project n help, even if jt a small Cooper lived her whole life as an openly gay woman New York Cy.

THE 3 GAY MEN ARE A SUCCSFUL, LOVG TRIAD RELATNSHIP — HERE'S HOW IT WORKS

It's OK: Gregory Rayo, Kai Stenstm and Mark Aldridge, three gay men love and livg together as a triad outsi of Boston, haven't heard of any and Stenstm met onle about seven years ago and began datg while livg two hours apart California. Still, even as we celebrate the sle and speed of this change, the rat of prsn, lonels and substance abe the gay muny rema stuck the same place they’ve been for s.

In a survey of gay men who recently arrived New York Cy, three-quarters suffered om anxiety or prsn, abed dgs or alhol or were havg risky sex—or some batn of the three. “Marriage equaly and the chang legal stat were an improvement for some gay men, ” says Christopher Stults, a rearcher at New York Universy who studi the differenc mental health between gay and straight men. In the Netherlands, where gay marriage has been legal sce 2001, gay men rema three tim more likely to suffer om a mood disorr than straight men, and 10 tim more likely to engage “suicidal self-harm.

TTravis Salway, a rearcher wh the BC Centre for Disease Control Vanuver, has spent the last five years tryg to figure out why gay men keep killg themselv. When the dispary first me to light the ’50s and ’60s, doctors thought was a symptom of homosexualy self, jt one of many maniftatns of what was, at the time, known as “sexual versn.

YOUNG GAY MALE UPLE BED TOGETHER, TIMATE. MASSAGG EACH OTHER. HAPPY GAY IENDSHIP, RELATNSHIP, PRI NCEPT.

“That was the ia I had, too, ” Salway says, “that gay suici was a product of a bygone era, or was ncentrated among adolcents who didn’t see any other way out.

THE HIDN GAY LIV FALLY BEG UNVERED

He found that gay men everywhere, at every age, have higher rat of rdvascular disease, ncer, ntence, erectile dysfunctn, ⁠ allergi and asthma—you name , we got .

“We see gay men who have never been sexually or physilly asslted wh siar post-trmatic strs symptoms to people who have been bat suatns or who have been raped, ” says Alex Kroghlian, a psychiatrist at the Fenway Instute’s Center for Populatn Rearch LGBT Health.

GAY MEN TOGETHER

For s, this is what psychologists thought, too: that the key stag inty formatn for gay men all led up to g out, that once we were fally fortable wh ourselv, we uld beg buildg a life wh a muny of people who’d gone through the same thg. It got so bad that I ed to go to the grocery store that was 40 mut away stead of the one that was 10 mut away jt bee I was so aaid to walk down the gay street.

THE ‘GOLN GAYS’ RETURN TO THE STAGE THE PHILIPP

Several studi have found that livg gay neighborhoods predicts higher rat of risky sex and meth e and ls time spent on other muny activi like volunteerg or playg sports. Acrdg to Dane Whicker, a clil psychologist and rearcher at De, most gay men report that they want to date someone mascule, and that they wished they acted more mascule themselv. Rearchers say this kd of trag, liberately tryg to appear more mascule and takg on a different sex role, is jt one of the ways gay men prsure each other to atta “sexual pal, ” the equivalent of gog to the gym or pluckg our eyebrows.

Usually when you hear about the shockg primacy of hookup apps gay life—Grdr, the most popular, says s average er spends 90 mut per day on —’s some panicked media story about murrers or homophob trawlg them for victims, or about the troublg “chemsex” scen that have spng up London and New York. But the real effect of the apps is quieter, ls remarked-upon and, a way, more profound: For many of , they have bee the primary way we teract wh other gay people. In terviews that Elr, the post-trmatic strs rearcher, nducted wh gay men 2015, he found that 90 percent said they wanted a partner who was tall, young, whe, mcular and mascule.

Walt Ots, a psychologist who’s been wrg about social isolatn sce the 1980s, says that gay men ed to be troubled by the bathho the same way they are troubled by Grdr now. “We often live our liv through the ey of others, ” says Alan Downs, a psychologist and the thor of The Velvet Rage, a book about gay men’s stggle wh shame and social validatn.