Lookg Through Childhood Diary Confirmed I Always Knew I Was Gay

when i was 6 i thought i was gay

This is the send perd my life where I’m wonrg whether I’m bisexual or gay. I’ve prevly wrten about g out as a lbian and then “fallg love” wh a man. The days, I’m…

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I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN

I grew up the 1980s and 1990s. Depictns of gay people were not flatterg. It seemed to me and om what my mother told me (She was a public health nurse.), all gay men had AIDS. The very few gay men I knew did die of AIDS, though was rarely spoken about. Other… * when i was 6 i thought i was gay *

Jt as if you were qutng your orientatn and thkg you might be gay, I n offer some background basics and thgs to thk about. However, along the l of sexualy beg fluid, I feel that while there are certaly people who are jt attracted to people of the same genr or a different genr (or asexual), most people fall somewhere on a broad spectm between gay and straight (and beyond!

Unfortunately, more often than not, 's not easy beg gay. Not bee beg gay self is hard, but bee of societal prsure and judgement.

As you said yourself, beg gay is, or has bee, a major part of your inty. You're out and proud and feelg at home your lol and the greater gay muny.

I’VE INTIFIED AS GAY FOR YEARS. NOT ANYMORE.

Are you qutng your sexualy? Fd out if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. Learn what the terms mean and if they apply to you. * when i was 6 i thought i was gay *

Likewise, we don't want or need people who re about but do not re for our sexual orientatn, such as a well-tentned parent, to tell they are relieved that we, fact, not gay.

Our two ma articl on this very topic, The Be Be: A Homosexualy and Bisexualy Primer and Bi the Dozen: A Bisexualy Quiz addrs this que extensively. Speakg of articl, I'd also suggt readg The Makgs of a Homo on a young guy intifyg as gay (I realize you are beyond this step your personal journey, but you still might fd tertg) and well as Makg Sense of Sexual Media.

Gay, straight, bi or beyond, the articl Supermol: Creatg & Nurturg Your Own Bt Relatnship Mols and Pothol & Dead Ends: Relatnship Roadblocks to Look Out For brg up important relatnship nsiratns. As I allud to a b the first part of my rponse, when you're queer, n be hard to claim that inty, form that muny and more; beg gay be a huge part of who you are.

WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?

The thor shar how readg through her notebook om when she was an early teen showed her what she always spected: she knew she was gay. * when i was 6 i thought i was gay *

The gay muny tends to be close kn, but jt bee you're not datg a guy don't mean you have to be ostracized om ! In fact, when you thk about , the gay muny tends to be a very open and acceptg group.

Bulli teased me for beg gay when I was younger, but when a six-year-old boy lls another six-year-old boy gay, he means “weird” or “gross, ” not “has sex wh men. Kids are not gay or straight, they’re jt kids. I wasn’t gay or straight.

Why, then, do adults who knew me as a child sist that I was gay all along? I felt prsured to pick a label and stick wh , and for a long time “gay” worked bee I didn’t thk about much.

WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE GAY?

* when i was 6 i thought i was gay *

But the last year or two, I’ve started to rethk my relatnship to the label “gay. I hooked up wh trans and nonbary people and stopped scribg myself as gay, preferrg to e the more clive tchall “queer.

Often when I tell some people that I’m distancg myself om gay, they immediately suggt I intify as bisexual, or pansexual. I need somethg that means “mostly gay but not fully mted and open to other possibili, ” but, alas, such a niche label has yet to be imaged. When I was six, the boys who teased me labelled me as gay.

The adults my life labelled me as gay.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

And for a while after g out, “gay” worked fe. In the early neti, Dan Rothenberg was havg a gay old time—lerally.

” Fifteen years later, he ss outsi a Wt Hollywood Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf remiscg wh a woman about his days as an out-and-proud gay man. Five or so years before that, Rothenberg was paralyzed by fear over the realizatn that he wasn’t actually gay.

’”From the Edors of DetailsDpe the sistence of many—straight and gay—that swchg between sexual preferenc n’t technilly happen, Rothenberg isn’t the only man to have believed he was homosexual before cidg that he was wrong. The aren’t gays who attend fah-based programs to be “cured, ” or bisexuals who rotate between male and female sex partners the way the rt of alternate pairs of sho. And they’re not the type who hi gay urg public while privately trottg off to the lol Andrew Br, who grew up Milwkee, was all about girls—until he had sex wh a guy at the end of his senr year of high school.

AM I GAY?

When he later fell love wh a woman (who was at the time a lbian) and realized he was straight, he didn’t rm anyone that he’d been wavg that rabow flag although there aren’t statistics to show how many men go through a siar sexual shift, anecdotal evince suggts that some men who nsir themselv to be gay experience this kd of change not bee of sexual experimentatn or peer prsure but bee they ci that they want to sleep wh women stead of Ethan Robson (not his real name), a 37-year-old film edor om Los Angel, chasg women durg his post-llege years beme a chore. “If I went to a gay bar I got h on like crazy, whereas at a straight bar the women all but turned their backs, ” Robson says.

“At gay clubs you danced, you had fun. ”After that relatnship fizzled, Robson dated another guy but eventually realized that he wasn’t gay. Bob (not his real name), a 33-year-old artist om Los Angel, cid he was gay when he was about 10.

READG MY DIARY OM WHEN I WAS A TEEN MA ME REALIZE I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS GAY

Although he had sex wh girls high school, an extremely close iendship wh a neighborhood boy, bed wh homophobic tnts om his sports ach, only strengthened his belief that he was gay. I was like, ‘I’m not gay, I’m not gay, I’m not gay. ’ It was like the flip scenar of when I thought I was gay.

”While the men all thk the swch om gay to straight was a five experience, some experts are skeptil that such a turnaround happens any but the rart s. “I’ve only n across men who me out of the closet and pursued their gay inty but uldn’t whstand the prsur of fay and society so returned to beg closeted and heterosexual relatnships, ” says Ian Kerner, Ph.

Depictns of gay people were not flatterg. ), all gay men had AIDS.

WHY I THK I’M A LBIANAFTER INTIFYG AS BISEXUAL FOR YEARS, I’M STARTG TO REALIZE I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE GAY.DANNY JACKSON H.·FOLLOWPUBLISHED QUEERTOPIA·11 M READ·JUN 6, 2020--8LISTENSHAREPHOTO BY TOIMETAJA TõLKEBüROO ON UNSPLASHTHIS IS THE SEND PERD MY LIFE WHERE I’M WONRG WHETHER I’M BISEXUAL OR GAY. I’VE PREVLY WRTEN ABOUT G OUT AS A LBIAN AND THEN “FALLG LOVE” WH A MAN. THE DAYS, I’M NTEMPLATG WHETHER THAT “LOVE” WAS LEGIMATE, OR JT PULSORY HETEROSEXUALY.A FEW MONTHS AGO I ENTERED A SER RELATNSHIP WH A WOMAN FOR THE FIRST TIME MY LIFE. AND EVERYTHG CHANGED. I DIDN’T KNOW THAT WAS POSSIBLE TO BE THIS ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE, TO BE THIS TLY HAPPY A RELATNSHIP.AS A RULT, I’VE STARTED QUTNG WHETHER MY PAST ATTRACTN TO MEN WAS GENUE. AT THE TIME, SURE FELT LIKE , BUT THAT WAS BEE HAD BEEN ALL I’D EVER KNOWN. EVEN WH THE MAN WHO NVCED ME I WAS BI A UPLE OF YEARS AGO, I ALWAYS LIKED THE IA OF HIM MORE THAN THE PERSON HE WAS.COME TO THK OF , THAT’S HOW I’VE FELT PRETTY MUCH EVERY TIME I’VE EVER HAD A CSH ON A MAN.ABOUT THREE YEARS AGO, DURG MY SENR YEAR OF LLEGE, I HAD BEEN QUTNG MYSELF FOR SEVERAL MONTHS BEFORE I ME ACROSS THIS POST ON TUMBLR:COMMON EXPERIENC OF LBIANS WHO DON’T KNOW THEY’RE LBIANS YETOUT OF CURSY, I RECENTLY GOOGLED THE “AM I LBIAN QUIZ”. HALF THE “ARE YOU A LBIAN” QUIZZ JT ASKED OUTRIGHT…WHEN I HAD FISHED READG THIS POST, I WAS TEARS. NEVER MY LIFE HAD I READ SOMETHG THAT RONATED WH ME SO EPLY AND PERSONALLY. THERE WAS NO QUTN ABOUT ANYMORE. I WAS A LBIAN.ALTHOUGH SOUNDS CHEY AND EMBARRASSG TO BE SO MOVED BY A POST ON TUMBLR, ’S SAFE TO SAY THAT THIS POST CHANGED MY LIFE. I BEGAN MENTALLY GOG OVER ALL MY PAST RELATNSHIPS, ALL WH MEN, AND REALIZG THAT MY ATTRACTN TO THEM HAD NEVER BEEN AS LEGIMATE AS I HAD THOUGHT AT THE TIME.I THOUGHT WOULD BE THERAPTIC FOR ME TO GO THROUGH SOME OF THE POTS MA THAT POST AND ELABORATE ON MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WH THEM. AFTER ALL, IF I N RELATE TO SO MANY OF THE EMS, THEN SURELY I MT BE GAY. AND I FIGURE THAT IF A WOMAN WHO’S QUTNG HER SEXUAL ORIENTATN READS THIS, THEN MAYBE N HELP HER E TO TERMS WH WHO SHE REALLY IS.DECIDG WHICH GUY TO BE ATTRACTED TOMANY CLOSETED LBIANS CHOOSE A GUY, NOT TO DATE, BUT TO BE ATTRACTED TO, BASED ON A LIST OF CERTA IAL QUALI. AS I THK BACK OVER MY ADOLCENCE, I N’T BELIEVE I DIDN’T REALIZE I WAS GAY SOONER.IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, MOST OF THE OTHER GIRLS MY CLASS HAD A “CSH” ON A BOY. MY IENDS WOULD ASK ME WHICH BOY I LIKED. WHEN I REPLIED THAT I DIDN’T HAVE A CSH, THEY WERE ABSOLUTELY MORTIFIED.BEE I HAD A DIFFICULT TIME MAKG IENDS AS A CHILD, I KNEW THAT I HAD TO HAVE A CSH TO BE ACCEPTED. SO, I SELECTED A BOY NAMED DOUGLAS TO BE THE OBJECT OF MY AFFECTNS. IN REALY, I CHOSE HIM MERELY BEE HIS LAST NAME WAS NEXT TO ME ALPHABETILLY.HEY, I NEVER SAID LBIANS N’T BE LAZY.AS I GOT OLR, I WOULD ENTER EACH GRA WH A LIST OF QUALI FOR AN IAL BOYIEND MD. I WOULD PICK A BOY EACH YEAR TO BE ATTRACTED TO BASED ON HOW MANY OF THOSE QUALI HE POSSSED. NO GUY EVER MA ME FEEL ATTRACTED TO HIM WHOUT SOME NSC EFFORT ON MY PART.IN FACT, I HAVE THIS SPECIFIC MEMORY OM EIGHTH GRA. THE CLASS HAD BEEN READG MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHG AND WE WERE DISCSG WHETHER WAS POSSIBLE TO CHOOSE WHO TO FALL LOVE WH.VIRTUALLY EVERYONE AGREED THAT YOU ULDN’T CHOOSE WHO TO FALL LOVE WH. I DISAGREED, BUT I KEPT QUIET. I WHOLEHEARTEDLY FELT THAT I WAS RIGHT, BUT I ULDN’T PROVI ANY EVINCE. I JT KNEW THAT I HAD CHOSEN TO FALL LOVE WH MY BOYIEND AT THE TIME, SIMPLY BEE HE HAD ALREADY FALLEN LOVE WH ME. I WAS EXPECTED TO HAVE A BOYIEND, SO I PICKED HIM BEE SEEMED LIKE THE EASIT CHOICE.BEG ATTRACTED TO GENR NON-NFORMG GUYS/ TRANS WOMENDURG MY HMAN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL, I HAD A SER CSH ON ONE OF MY “GUY” IENDS WHO LATER TURNED OUT TO BE A TRANS WOMAN. AT THE TIME, SHE INTIFIED AS A GAY MAN, BUT I STILL HAD AN UNBEARABLE CSH ON HER. IT WAS MORE TENSE THAN ANY FEELGS I’D HAD FOR A GUY BEFORE.WHEN THIS IEND ME OUT AS A WOMAN SEVERAL YEARS LATER, A WHOLE LOT OF THGS CLICKED TO PLACE. THAT WAS WHY I’D HAD SUCH A HUGE CSH ON HER, WHY HAD FELT MORE REAL THAN ANY ATTRACTN I’D HAD TO A BOY.ONLY BEG ATTRACTED TO UNATTAABLE MENWHEN I WORKED AT A DOLLAR TREE DURG LLEGE, I HAD AN UNFORTABLE “CSH” ON AN ASSISTANT MANAGER WHO WAS ONLY A FEW YEARS OLR THAN ME. LET’S LL HIM DEAN. HE WAS CERTALY NVENTNALLY ATTRACTIVE, BUT I DIDN’T TAKE MUCH NOTICE OF HIS LOOKS. WE CLICKED ON A PLATONIC LEVEL AND BEME FAST IENDS.ONE NIGHT, WHEN WAS JT THE TWO OF WORKG AND WE HARDLY HAD ANY CTOMERS, HE WAS SWEEPG AND HE SUALLY ASKED IF I HAD A BOYIEND.MY HEART STOPPED FOR A MOMENT. THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME SCE MY RECENT LBIAN AWAKENG THAT SOMEONE HAD ASKED ME THAT QUTN. I STAMMERED OUT A NO.“OH.” DEAN KEPT SWEEPG, AVOIDG MY GAZE. “SO DO YOU JT NOT WANT ONE, OR…?”I’D SEEN THE RG ON HIS FGER BEFORE. I’D HEARD HIM TALK ABOUT HIS WIFE. WHY WAS HE ASKG ME THIS, AS IF HE WERE PERSONALLY TERTED?“I JT HAVEN’T HAD TIME, WHAT WH SCHOOL AND WORK AND EVERYTHG,” I SAID.DEAN CHANGED THE SUBJECT WHOUT MEETG MY EY.FROM THAT POT ON, I HAD NSTANT ROMANTIC DAYDREAMS (AND ACTUAL DREAMS) ABOUT DEAN. I THK PART OF ME MISTOOK THE ANXIETY I FELT WHEN HE ASKED THAT QUTN FOR THE “BUTTERFLI” THAT PEOPLE GET WHEN THEY’RE FALLG LOVE.HE AND I NTUED TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER OVER THE NEXT FEW MONTHS, WH HIM HARDLY MENTNG HIS WIFE AT ALL. I FELT STRANGELY “ATTRACTED” TO HIM, EVEN AS I WAS MSAGG A GIRL I’D MET ONLE FOR SEVERAL WEEKS (THAT SUATN ULTIMATELY DIDN’T WORK OUT).EVEN AS I INTIFIED AS FULLY GAY, I ULDN’T SHAKE THIS “ATTRACTN” TO DEAN. AND I THK MIGHT HAVE BEEN DUE TO HIS BEG MARRIED AND TECHNILLY MY BOSS. HOWEVER, I KNEW MY HEART OF HEARTS THAT IF SOMETHG HAPPENED AND HE WAS SGLE AGA, I WOULD IMMEDIATELY LOSE TERT. I’D HAD DREAMS WHERE HE GOT DIVORCED AND STARTED TO PURSUE ME. I’D WAKE UP A LD SWEAT.IN THE END, DEAN FISHED LLEGE AND LEFT DOLLAR TREE TO BEE A TEACHER, HIS DREAM JOB. I WAS HAPPY FOR HIM BUT MALY RELIEVED THAT I NO LONGER HAD TO AL WH THE NFG FEELGS HE STIRRED UP ME. ONCE HE WAS GONE AND THOSE FEELGS STARTED TO FA, I FELT GAYER THAN EVER.THKG YOU’RE MMENT-PHOBICBEFORE I BEGAN TO NSIR LBIANISM, I HAD BEEN TWO LONG-TERM RELATNSHIPS WH MEN: ONE MIDDLE SCHOOL, AND ANOTHER HIGH SCHOOL. IN BOTH RELATNSHIPS, AFTER ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF, I STARTED TO FEEL TENSELY “BORED” OF BEG WH THE GUYS. I GOT SNIPPY WH THEM; EVERYTHG THEY DID STARTED TO ANNOY ME.I FELT LIKE PART OF ME ULDN’T HANDLE BEG A RELATNSHIP FOR SO LONG, THAT I WAS STED TO HAVE MORE SUAL FLGS WH PEOPLE BEE EP DOWN I WAS AAID OF MMENT. EVEN THOUGH BOTH OF THOSE BREAKUPS WERE MUTUAL, I IATED THEM, BEE JT DIDN’T FEEL RIGHT ANYMORE.GETTG A BOYIEND JT SO OTHER PEOPLE KNOW YOU HAVE A BOYIENDTHROUGHOUT MIDDLE SCHOOL AND HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS ONE OF THOSE GIRLS WHO ALWAYS HAD TO BE DATG A BOY. OR AT LEAST, I HAD TO HAVE A CSH. IF I DIDN’T CURRENTLY HAVE A BOYIEND, I WOULD BE WORKG ON GETTG ONE.AT THE TIME, I REGNIZED THAT THIS WAS UNHEALTHY. BUT I THOUGHT WAS BEE OF MY CRIPPLGLY LOW SELF-TEEM BASED ON MY NOT NVENTNALLY ATTRACTIVE APPEARANCE. I WANTED OTHER PEOPLE TO SEE THAT SOMEONE WAS PABLE OF BEG ATTRACTED TO ME, SPECIFILLY A GUY.I WANTED TO PROVE SOMETHG TO PEOPLE. I JT ULDN’T INTIFY WHAT WAS THAT I WANTED TO PROVE.WISHG YOUR BOYIEND WAS LS TERTED SEXMY HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART (LET’S LL HIM KYLE) HAD A CRAZILY HIGH SEX DRIVE. OF URSE, WE WERE SEVENTEEN, SO THIS WAS PERFECTLY NORMAL. HOWEVER, I WAS LS TERTED, PECIALLY AFTER THE HONEYMOON PHASE OF OUR RELATNSHIP WAS OVER.DURG OUR SENR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL, WE’D HANG OUT AT HIS PLACE NEARLY EVERY DAY AFTER SCHOOL. MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, WE’D HAVE SEX AND THEN PLAY VIO GAM, WATCH A MOVIE, OR DO SOMETHG FUN. IT WASN’T THAT THE SEX WAS BAD, PER SE; I JT WASN’T AS TERTED AS I SHOULD HAVE BEEN, NSIRG I WAS DATG THIS GUY. I SIMPLY WANTED THE SEX TO BE OVER WH SO THAT WE ULD JT HANG OUT. LIKE IENDS DO.GETTG OVER A BREAKUP RERD TIMEAFTER KYLE AND I BROKE UP, I BEGAN EXPRSG TERT A FEW PEOPLE I KNEW AT LLEGE. WHEN I RETURNED HOME AFTER THE FIRST SEMTER OF MY HMAN YEAR, HE WANTED TO GET BACK TOGETHER, SO MUCH SO THAT HE CRIED ASKG ME.I FELT HEARTLS HAVG TO TELL HIM THAT I DIDN’T WANT THAT. THE TTH WAS, THE DAY AFTER WE HAD BROKEN UP, I FELT LIKE I WAS PLETELY OVER KYLE. I STILL RED ABOUT HIM, BUT NOT A ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL WAY. GETTG BACK TOGETHER WH HIM SOUND LIKE A NIGHTMARE.WHEN MY IENDS ASKED ME ABOUT , I PRETEND TO BE MORE HEARTBROKEN THAN I ACTUALLY WAS. I DIDN’T WANT TO APPEAR CEL FOR STANTLY GETTG OVER SOMEONE I WAS NEVER REALLY LOVE WH THE FIRST PLACE.FEELG LIKE YOU’RE BROKEN AND PABLE OF LOVG ANYONETHERE WAS A TIME WHEN I THOUGHT KYLE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. I HAD ASSUMED FOR A UPLE OF YEARS THAT WE WOULD GET MARRIED, HAVE 2.5 KIDS, AND GET A HOE THE SUBURBS. WHEN THAT DIDN’T PAN OUT, I FELT LIKE IF I ULDN’T HAVE THAT KD OF LOVE WH KYLE, THAT I ULDN’T HAVE WH ANYBODY.I THOUGHT SOMETHG WAS WRONG WH ME, THAT I JT ULDN’T FEEL TE LOVE. I NSIRED THE POSSIBILY THAT I WAS ASEXUAL/AROMANTIC SCE SEEMED THAT MY ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL SIR WERE NONEXISTENT.AFTER MY BREAKUP WH KYLE, I WENT THROUGH A PRSIVE EPISO. NOT BEE I WAS UPSET ABOUT NO LONGER DATG THIS BOY, BUT BEE I WORRIED I WAS BROKEN.BEG UTTERLY FASCATED WH LBIANS AS A CHILDMY DAD’S SISTER IS A LBIAN. WHEN MY PARENTS FIRST TOLD ME THIS AROUND AGE ELEVEN, I WAS UTTERLY TRANSFIXED.BEE I GREW UP WH CATHOLIC SHAME SURROUNDG HOMOSEXUALY, I WAS AAID TO ASK MY NT ANYTHG ABOUT HER ORIENTATN. INSTEAD, I WATCHED HER TERACTNS WH HER LONG-TERM PARTNER AND WONRED WHAT THEIR DAILY LIV WERE LIKE. DID THEY HATE MEN? HOW DID THEY HAVE SEX? HOW DID THEY CI WHO TO E OUT TO?MORE IMPORTANTLY, WAS THE FIRST TIME I HAD BEEN PRENTED WH THE IA THAT I DIDN’T HAVE TO DATE A MAN TO BE HAPPY.THKG THAT ALL GIRLS MT FEEL SOME ATTRACTN TO WOMENWHEN I WAS FIRST STARTG TO E TO TERMS WH MY ATTRACTN TOWARD WOMEN, I WAS UNR THE IMPRSN THAT EVERYONE WAS A LTLE B GAY OR BI. I THOUGHT THAT EVERYONE FELT A SLIGHT ATTRACTN TOWARD THEIR IENDS, EVEN THOSE OF THE SAME GENR. I ASSUMED THAT EVERYONE FELT LIKE THAT UNTIL I HAD A NVERSATN WH A STRAIGHT IEND, WHICH SHE STATED THAT SHE HAD NEVER ONCE FELT A LEGIMATE ATTRACTN FOR ANOTHER WOMAN. IT WAS THEN THAT I STARTED TO FEEL LIKE MY QUEERNS WAS REAL.BEG A REALLY TENSE LGBTQ+ “ALLY”

The very few gay men I knew did die of AIDS, though was rarely spoken about. Other pictns of gay men were flamboyant queens, sissy effemate men, etc. Early on, I had hts I was gay, but I ignored them.

He was my masturbatn material my teenage years, yet, I did not realize I was gay. When I was llege, I wanted to learn more about beg gay, so I went to Barn and Noble.

Not only did I know this is where a lot of gay men hung out, but B&N also had books on the subject.

KEV MAXEN, JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH, OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR U.S.-BASED PRO LEAGU

The first “gay” book I bought was Gvanni’s Room by Jam Baldw.

Early gay fictn nearly always had tragic endgs. This kept the realizatn I was gay at bay even longer.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

Slowly, however, I was g to the ncln I was fact gay. I got some gay vios through the mail, and I read Brad Gooch’s Fdg the Boyiend Wh: A Practil Gui for Tappg to Your Own Source of Love, Happs, and Rpect.

Yet, I still uldn’t adm to myself I was gay. It was an ugly scene; I nied I was gay. From then on, she spected I was gay, and ma me go to the closet even further.

I wasn’t about to adm I was gay at that pot. I don’t know which book I eventually read (I did a lot of readg on the subject of beg gay, and I have always been a nsummate rearcher.

THEY THOUGHT I WAS GAYLIL PEGGYTRACK 1 ON WEEEEE FEATURGROBOT FUCKERPRODUCED BYWATCHDOG THERAPI & DJ BANKNOTEJUL. 4, 20181 VIEWER1 CONTRIBUTORTHEY THOUGHT I WAS GAY LYRICS[INTRO: ROBOT FUCKER]LIL PEGGY HAS A NEW ALBUMLIL PEGGY HAS A NEW ALBUMLIL PEGGY HAS A NEW ALBUMIT’S LLED WEEEEE[CHOS: LIL PEGGY]FRH OUTTA HUMP’ THE BUMP, BCH THOUGHT I WAS GAY (YUGH)NOW WHERE I’M AT, GOT THOAND PAIRS OF BEATS BY DRE (OO)BANKNOTE FATTER THAN SANTA, DON’T F ON HIS SLEIGH (YUGH)BCH QUTN MY MORALY, THEY ALL SAY ’S GREY (OO)DICK BIGGER THAN A HORSE, Y’ALL EVEN HEAR SAY NEIGH (WHAT)CATCH THE HATERS SLIPP’, KEEP THAT SH RIGHT ON DISPLAY (YUGH)[BRIDGE: ROBOT FUCKER]WHERE ARE ALL THE ROBOT HO ATWHERE ARE ALL THE ROBOT HO ATGOTTA KEEP MY PERFECT GRAMMARWHERе ARE ALL THE HO AT[LIL PEGGY]ROBOT FUCKеR OVER HERE, THAT BOY BLD AS A BAT (LIKE A BAT)BCH, I EVER MENTN BANKNOTE HE’S SO FUCK’ FAT (HUMONGO)MAN THEY LL ME SHANE DAWSON, I DONE FUCKED A T (SHUT UP)OLR THAN THE NEOLHIC, LL THAT BCH A ZIGGURAT (WHAT)BCH THE OTHER DAY LLED ME BROKE, SAID “WHAT IS THAT” (YUGH)ALWAYS KEEP MY SH KEYS RIGHT ABOVE A Z FLAT (WHO R)YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE[CHOS: LIL PEGGY]FRH OUTTA HUMP’ THE BUMP, BCH THOUGHT I WAS GAY (YUGH)NOW WHERE I’M AT, GOT THOAND PAIRS OF BEATS BY DRE (OO)BANKNOTE FATTER THAN SANTA, DON’T F ON HIS SLEIGH (YUGH)BCH QUTN MY MORALY, THEY ALL SAY ’S GREY (OO)DICK BIGGER THAN A HORSE, Y’ALL EVEN HEAR SAY NEIGH (WHAT)CATCH THE HATERS SLIPP’, KEEP THAT SH RIGHT ON DISPLAY (YUGH)[CHOS: LIL PEGGY]FRH OUTTA HUMP’ THE BUMP, BCH THOUGHT I WAS GAY (YUGH)NOW WHERE I’M AT, GOT THOAND PAIRS OF BEATS BY DRE (OO)BANKNOTE FATTER THAN SANTA, DON’T F ON HIS SLEIGH (YUGH)BCH QUTN MY MORALY, THEY ALL SAY ’S GREY (OO)DICK BIGGER THAN A HORSE, Y’ALL EVEN HEAR SAY NEIGH (WHAT)CATCH THE HATERS SLIPP’, KEEP THAT SH RIGHT ON DISPLAY (YUGH)EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUTHAVE THE SI SOP ON THIS SONG?SIGN UP AND DROP SOME KNOWLEDGESTART THE SONG BASK A QUTN ABOUT THIS SONGASK A QUTN *‌WHO PRODUCED “THEY THOUGHT I WAS GAY” BY LIL PEGGY?WHEN DID LIL PEGGY RELEASE “THEY THOUGHT I WAS GAY”?WHO WROTE “THEY THOUGHT I WAS GAY” BY LIL PEGGY?WEEEEE (2018)LIL PEGGY1. THEY THOUGHT I WAS GAY2. MONKEY IN MY BATHROOM3. PAUL TSONGAS4. WEEEEE5. EMOTIONS ARE A CONCEPT I CAN NOT GRASP6. TIN7. WRITING A BOOK (MISSG LYRICS)8. BANKNOTES FAT (MISSG LYRICS)CREDSFEATURGROBOT FUCKERPRODUCED BYWATCHDOG THERAPI & DJ BANKNOTEWRTEN BYLIL PEGGY, WATCHDOG THERAPI & DJ BANKNOTERELEASE DATEJULY 4, 2018TAGSRAPEXPAND COMMENTSADD A MENTSIGN UP AND DROP KNOWLEDGE ?GENI IS THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF MIC KNOWLEDGE, CREATED BY SCHOLARS LIKE YOU WHO SHARE FACTS AND SIGHT ABOUT THE SONGS AND ARTISTS THEY LOVE.SIGN UPGENI IS THE WORLD’S BIGGT LLECTN OF SONG LYRICS AND MIL KNOWLEDGE

I jt uldn’t be gay. I uldn’t be all the horrible thgs I had been lled growg up: fag, faggot, queer, homo, sissy, etc.

That’s when the realizatn h that I might be gay. Sometime 2001, I fally admted to myself I was gay. I was readg a lot about gay people.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* WHEN I WAS 6 I THOUGHT I WAS GAY

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ease--out;cursor:poter;background-lor:transparent;lor:#fff;}.submenu-open {-webk-transform:rotate(45g);-moz-transform:rotate(45g);-ms-transform:rotate(45g);transform:rotate(45g);}.submenu-closed {-webk-transform:rotate(-45g);-moz-transform:rotate(-45g);-ms-transform:rotate(-45g);transform:rotate(-45g);}</style><button role="button" tabInx="0" aria-expand="false" class="css-pjjyzu eqt11jm7"></button><style data-emotn="css 1t2le0x animatn-1dfsy">{posn:relative;list-style:none;marg:0rem;paddg:0rem;max-height:0rem;-webk-transn:max-height 0.3s cubic-bezier(0, 1, 0, 1),opacy 0.2s lear 0.15s,marg 0.3s lear;transn:max-height 0.3s cubic-bezier(0, 1, 0, 1),opacy 0.2s lear 0.15s,marg 0.3s lear;height:unset;overflow:hidn;opacy:0;visibily:hidn;-webk-animatn:1s animatn-1dfsy;animatn:1s animatn-1dfsy;-webk-animatn-fill-mo:forwards;animatn-fill-mo:forwards;width:lc(100% + 2rem);marg-left:-1rem;background-lor:#F5F5F5;lor:#000;}.submenu-open 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exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>30 Girls Get Real About the Moment They Knew They Weren't Straight<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 1fyfv5q">{font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.375rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.5rem;le-height:1.2;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-1fyfv5q exadjwu8"><p>"Whenever I played wh Barbi, I would always have same-sex Barbie upl."</p></div><style data-emotn="css 7lmlrx">{marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;} span{le-height:1.6;}</style><div class="css-7lmlrx exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css rkt8">{font-style:normal;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><addrs class="css-rkt8 ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css q8brce">{paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><span class="css-q8brce ehvvd9m1">By <style data-emotn="css 7l5upj">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/5825/hannah-orenste/" class="css-7l5upj e1c1bym14">Hannah Orenste</a> and <a href="/thor/17665/willa-bent/" class="css-7l5upj e1c1bym14">Willa Bent</a></span><style data-emotn="css w0ebia">{display:le-block;text-transform:upperse;marg-left:0.625rem;}</style><time class="css-w0ebia exadjwu6">Published: Jan 22, 2018</time></addrs></div></div></div></hear><style data-emotn="css k008qs">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;}</style><div class="css-k008qs ewisyje0"><style data-emotn="css 7ce51e">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{max-width:lc(100vw - (1rem * 2));marg-left:1rem;marg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(-1 * 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc((100vw - (lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 2 * 1rem)) / -2);}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem) and (max-width: 90rem){{max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / -2) - 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 2);max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 + 1rem)) / -2) - lc(2 * 1rem));}[data-has-sponsor] {marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);marg-right:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);}}</style><div class="standard-ntaer ntent-ntaer article-ntaer css-7ce51e ewisyje3"><style data-emotn="css trzem2">{jtify-self:center;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-left:-50vw;marg-right:-50vw;width:100vw;left:50%;right:50%;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead css-trzem2 ewisyje6"><style data-emotn="css sm2oir">{height:to;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg:to lc(50% - 50vw);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:to;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead-image css-sm2oir e5f9kgu2"><style data-emotn="css eag3eq">{posn:relative;height:to;}</style><div class="css-eag3eq e5f9kgu1"><style data-emotn="css 335qep">{posn:relative;width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;vertil-align:top;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="Facial exprsn, Se, Illtratn, In, " tle="Facial exprsn, Se, Illtratn, In, " width="1000" height="500" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-335qep exi4f7p0" /></div><style data-emotn="css 285vyd">{le-height:1;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0;}}</style><figptn class="css-285vyd enfs9c50"><span class="css-q8brce e6iqd2">Megan Lasher</span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css woto36">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-woto36 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">You might remember one specific moment where the tth about your sexualy sudnly h you — or, as one girl below put , her<em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor"> "Oh, sh*t, I'm gay" </em>moment. Below, 30 people rell the moments they knew they weren't straight. </p><p data-no-id="1" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"When I was middle school, I realized that the reason that I loved Taylor Swift wasn't that I wanted to <em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">be</em> Taylor Swift, but bee I had a csh on her. I also started havg what I eventually realized was a csh on a girl at school. Beg bisexual n be an odd experience, bee n be very easy to bsh asi your own inty for a long time before realizg that you're pable of beg love wh more than one genr."— Mimi, 17</p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"I had always felt a b different, pecially when I went out wh guys. It jt didn't feel right. I knew my sophomore year of llege when I went to a Friendsgivg and saw a female iend of me dancg. The feelg I felt my I jt knew. I intify as gay now." — Haley, 22</p><div data-no-id="3" data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="journey-unblur-ntent css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1ujafpv">{clear:both;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;paddg:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:25rem;float:left;marg-right:1.25rem;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:0;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-left:max(512px - 50vw, -5%);paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{marg-left:max(590px - 50vw, -20%);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:-40%;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1ujafpv e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css upp71m">{text-align:left;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;borr:th solid #CDCDCD;}</style><div class="css-upp71m e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css 1ocka91">{marg-bottom:0rem;paddg:0.625rem;}</style><div class="css-1ocka91 e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css g8jkq0">{marg:0rem;font-weight:bold;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.2;letter-spacg:0.05rem;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-g8jkq0 e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">More From Seventeen</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css 19idlm5">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;lor:#000000;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:bold;-webk-box-pack:left;-ms-flex-pack:left;-webk-jtify-ntent:left;jtify-ntent:left;marg:0rem;marg-bottom:0.3125rem;marg-top:0.625rem;m-height:2.4rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:1rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><h6 class="css-19idlm5 e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css 1ui7hop">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css w2pm9t">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{top:26%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{top:29.5%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{top:32.5%;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{top:34.5%;height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{top:35%;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{top:35.8%;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-w2pm9t e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in .

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