MY 14 YEAR OLD GAY SON IS SEEING A 17 YEAR OLD

Contents:

• GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"
• GAY AND BISEXUAL ADOLCENT BOYS' PERSPECTIV ON PARENT-ADOLCENT RELATNSHIPS AND PARENTG PRACTIC RELATED TO TEEN SEX AND DATG
• WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?
• WHEN GOG TO THE STORE WH YOUR 10-YEAR-OLD GAY SON IS A POLIL ACT
• 12-YEAR-OLD'S IENDS DIDN'T CELEBRATE AFTER HE ME OUT AS GAY. SO A PARK FULL OF STRANGERS DID
• I THK MY 14 YEAR OLD IS GAY
• MY 14 YEAR OLD GAY SON IS SEEING A 17 YEAR OLD
• GAY YOUTH COMG OUT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL
• UNSEEN, PART 3: POPULAR GAY DATG APP GRDR POS EXPLOATN RISK TO MORS

GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"

" He explas, That's not to say that gay teenagers didn't still suffer harassment at school or rejectn at home, but many seemed ls burned wh shame and self-loathg than their olr gay peers.

Gog onle broke through the isolatn that had been a hallmark of beg young and gay, and allowed gay teenagers to fd rmatn to refute what their fai or church sometim still told them - namely, that they would never fd happs and to the Inter and to creasg cultural acceptance of homosexualy (an crease marred, we should note, by measur like Proposn 8), kids who might once have waed until high school or even llege to e out are now dog so earlier. " They were not, however, silent: "Good luck gettg middle-schoolers not to talk, " the school unselor youth of the Webster kids and other gay middle-schoolers is a sign of how far gay rights have e — but 's also the kids' biggt obstacle to acceptance. The irony of a parent spectg her kid is gay and then refg to believe he uld know his own orientatn highlights how much more difficulty some parents have wh burgeong gay sexualy than they would wh a straight kid's of this may have to do wh the misnceptn that you have to have gay terurse to be gay, or that homosexualy is somehow a more "sexual" orientatn than heterosexualy.

GAY AND BISEXUAL ADOLCENT BOYS' PERSPECTIV ON PARENT-ADOLCENT RELATNSHIPS AND PARENTG PRACTIC RELATED TO TEEN SEX AND DATG

A lawyer Florida argued that gay-straight allianc promote the "premature sexualizatn of the stunts, " and when At started a gay-straight alliance, his Michigan school ma him ll somethg "ls ntroversial" (he chose "Peace Alliance"). Denizet-Lewis reports the hopeful words of velopmental psychologist Rch Sav-Williams: "This is the first generatn of gay kids who have the great joy of beg able to argue wh their parents about datg, jt like their straight peers do. As such, the goal of the current study was to exame parent-adolcent relatnships and parentg practic related to teen sex and datg om the perspective of gay/bisexual adolcent mal.

WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?

For gay/bisexual youth, parental relatnships n have profound impacts on sexual inty velopment, the abili to form and mata secure relatnships, and health out (Cook & Calebs, 2016; Rosar, 2015).

WHEN GOG TO THE STORE WH YOUR 10-YEAR-OLD GAY SON IS A POLIL ACT

Given the importance of parent-child relatnships and the unique challeng experienced by gay/bisexual youth, is cril to unrstand if and how parents fluence their sexual behavr. Given that parent-adolcent relatnships are often straed for gay/bisexual youth (Floyd, Ste, Harter, Allison, & Nye, 1999; Mtanski, Newb, & Garofalo, 2011; Ryan et al., 2009; Sav-Williams, 2003), parents of gay/bisexual youth may be ls likely to talk about sex, pecially if they feel unknowledgeable about or unfortable wh same-sex sexualy. Further, most parents of gay/bisexual youth do not share the same sexual orientatn wh their child and may be challengg for them to help their child navigate the domas of sex and datg if they are unaware of the unique aspects of same-sex relatnships (e.

In another study, young gay/bisexual mal and their parents both scribed parent-adolcent closens as protective agast sexual risk behavr (LaSala, 2015) and over half of the youth dited that fay members fluenced their sexual behavr. Parental monorg is ls effective wh youth who are volved ntexts that are unfaiar to parents (Dishn & McMahon, 1998), makg challengg for parents to monor gay/bisexual youth whout tn about how to do so (e.

Parental monorg has received very ltle attentn among gay/bisexual youth, but Thoma and Huebner (2014) found that was associated wh more ndomls sex for YMSM who were out to one parent and those who were uncerta if their parents knew their sexual orientatn.

12-YEAR-OLD'S IENDS DIDN'T CELEBRATE AFTER HE ME OUT AS GAY. SO A PARK FULL OF STRANGERS DID

They suggted that monorg may not work for parents of YMSM, bee the youth may be dishont about their whereabouts, pecially if they perceive their parents as not acceptg their sexual sum, rearch is begng to document how parents fluence sexual risk behavr among gay/bisexual mal, but there are cril gaps. Adolcence is a cril time to unrstand parental fluenc on sexual behavr among gay/bisexual mal, bee self-intifitn as gay/bisexual tends to occur durg this perd (Dunlap, 2016; Martos, Nezhad, & Meyer, 2015) and adolcence volv profound psychologil, social, and sexual change (Jsor, 1992; Mtanski, Kuper, & Greene, 2014).

Fally, ltle is known about several important aspects of parent-child relatnships among gay/bisexual adolcent mal, cludg their perceptns of whether or not their sexual orientatn fluenc their relatnships wh their parents, discsns about sex/datg, and parental monorg. We were terted the adolcent perspective on: (1) if and how sexual orientatn fluenc parent-adolcent relatnships, munitn about sex/datg, and parental monorg; (b) what parents say to gay/bisexual adolcent mal about sex/datg; and (c) how parents monor gay/bisexual adolcent mal' datg experienc.

I THK MY 14 YEAR OLD IS GAY

E., assigned male at birth and currently intify as male); (b) be 14-17 years old; (c) intify as gay, bisexual, queer, qutng, or same-sex attracted; (d) have phone and Inter accs; and (e) live the US. G., transportatn, ncerns about meetg an unfaiar place, ncerns about publicly intifyg onelf as part of a stigmatized group) (Fox, Morris, & Rumsey, 2007) and a group format was chosen to facilate a sense of belongg and muny among gay/bisexual youth (Greene, Fisher, Kuper, Andrews, & Mtanski, 2015; Ybarra, DuBois, Parsons, Prtt, & Mtanski, 2014). RultsOur analys revealed three ma them: (1) beg gay/bisexual had both posive and negative effects on parent-adolcent relatnships; (2) beg gay/bisexual fluenced parentg practic (e.

G., munitn about sex, monorg); and (3) beg gay/bisexual fluenced the domas regardls of whether or not youth were out to their parents, although there were some unique fluenc for those who were not out. For stance, a 17 year-old, Whe, gay male who was out to his parents scribed as: “Me and my parents don't really do thgs like we ed to before I me out to them and sce then 's like they kd of avoid me.

MY 14 YEAR OLD GAY SON IS SEEING A 17 YEAR OLD

For example, a 16 year-old, Black, gay male scribed an experience wh his grandmother (who was his guardian): “… sce g out I feel like thgs between me and my grandmother has ma thg even better between . ” Another adolcent scribed that was ially awkward between him and his parents after he me out, but improved wh time: “At first me beg gay was a ltle awkward bee they didn't really know how to act about or how to ask about relatnships but after I had a uple boyiends 's pretty normal…” (17 year-old, Lato, gay, out to parents) addnal 8% reported that their sexual orientatn had a posive impact on their relatnship wh one parent, but a negative impact on their relatnship wh another parent. I thk beg gay mak me and my mom closer bee she lov gay guys -year-old, Black, gay, out to parentsFally, 26% reported that their sexual orientatn did not impact their relatnships wh their parents.

GAY YOUTH COMG OUT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

-16, Whe, gay, not out to parentsAlthough most youth who were not out to their parents exprsed ncern that their parents would not approve of their sexual orientatn, one scribed that he had not e out to his parents bee he jt was not ready yet: “I am que close wh my parents and feel like I uld really tell them anythg if I need to….

I jt haven't fully e out due to the fact I jt don't feel ready to say but I know I uld if I need to…” (14 years-old, Whe, gay) of sexual orientatn on parent-adolcent munitn about sex/datgMost adolcents (76%) reported that beg gay/bisexual had an fluence on nversatns wh their parents about sex and datg (Table 2). For stance, one adolcent said that, although his parents were supportive of his sexual orientatn, “beg gay kda affects our relatnship bee we n't talk about certa thgs I would like to talk about wh them” (16 years old, Lato, gay, out to parents) youth who were out to their parents, nversatns about sex/datg typilly changed after g out.

The nversatn was way different bee wh me beg gay they never want answers to the qutns they ask, but when they thought I was straight they were always enuragg me to engage wh femal. For stance, one said: “As far as relatnships go I've only had one which end up on the guy cheatg on me and basilly my mom told me that I shouldn't let him get the bt of me and that there will be another guy eventually” (17 years old, Lato, gay, out to parents).

UNSEEN, PART 3: POPULAR GAY DATG APP GRDR POS EXPLOATN RISK TO MORS

Siarly, another scribed: “… one effect [beg gay] has would be the fact that I don't necsarily share everythg wh them (stuff like beg the gsa [Gay Straight Alliance] at school, csh, etc” (15 years-old, Amerin Indian/Alaska Native, gay).