When gay Sailor was outed, he found his Navy buddi had his back - Outsports

Contents:

• I THOUGHT I COULD SERVE AS AN OPENLY GAY MAN THE ARMY. THEN CAME THE DEATH THREATS.
• WHEN GAY SAILOR WAS OUTED, HE FOUND HIS NAVY BUDDI HAD HIS BACK
• THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985
• SO ANY GAY GUYS WHO HAVE BEEN THE MILARY OR NAVY POST HERE?
• GAY, BISEXUAL TROOPS MORE LIKELY TO SUFFER SEXUAL ASSLTS, STUDY SUGGTS
• TELL: AN INTIMATE HISTORY OF GAY MEN THE MILARY

I THOUGHT I COULD SERVE AS AN OPENLY GAY MAN THE ARMY. THEN CAME THE DEATH THREATS.

In rponse, and apparently to monstrate his petency his assigned posn, the nonmissned officer had taken upon himself to approach the person he nsired cled toward mtg a siar offense the future: me, the only openly gay soldier my un. Together we approached our un’s learship, where she sisted that the ments had stemmed om the reprentative’s own homophobic feelgs and remend that he be reprimand and removed om his posn as the un’s sexual harassment watchdog.

But by then was hard to ignore the anxiety I felt durg required social activi — “mandatory fun, ” as ’s lled the ary — or the tensn om my fellow moment I cid to bee a soldier and the moment I chose to live openly as a gay man occurred so closely time that ’s hard to remember which me first.

WHEN GAY SAILOR WAS OUTED, HE FOUND HIS NAVY BUDDI HAD HIS BACK

It was still four months before the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell, ” a double-edged policy prohibg askg any service member about his or her sexualy while enforcg a ban on openly gay service members. As long as gay soldiers kept their mouths shut, the burn of proof fell on those makg the accatns.

A uple were more elaborate: tailed scriptns of what might happen to me if I was ught alone, and proclamatns about the wrongns of gays the ary. There are moments when feels wrong to claim my stat as a veteran; as if beg gay ma me ls of a soldier and somehow validated my service.

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

Every memory evok an emotn: rage that I had to serve wh a nstant sense of fear of my fellow soldiers; paralyzg sadns for those who endured ab worse than I n know; and, the worst, guilt over the service members — gay or straight or transgenr — who died while servg the ary while my body is still whole. Before "don't ask, don't tell" was officially repealed for gay, lbian, and bisexual ary personnel 2011, a photo of a male Mare drag uld have land him hot water.

"Lbian, gay, and bisexual ary personnel had been servg our untry for s whout receivg equal protectn, while transgenr troops are still prohibed om servg openly.

SO ANY GAY GUYS WHO HAVE BEEN THE MILARY OR NAVY POST HERE?

"As a gay man, I n relate to what is still the opprsive stigma of homosexualy. I was alone at the time and tears, and I cid to e clean — y, I'm gay, I told them.

After I me over that fal hurdle, I began to live openly, and my life as a gay man flourished. This past sprg, bat trag before my ployment to Afghanistan, someone found out I was gay, walked up to me and said, "I'm glad I'm not ployg wh you, I wouldn't tst a fag wh my life.

GAY, BISEXUAL TROOPS MORE LIKELY TO SUFFER SEXUAL ASSLTS, STUDY SUGGTS

I grew up thkg that beg gay was wrong — that beg gay meant you f a stereotype. She had asked me many tim growg up if I was gay, but beg aaid of who I was, I never uld adm . There, stctors and fellow trae nstantly threw homophobic slurs around.

I distctly remember one day when an stctor said, "Oh look at those faggots, " and then turned to sayg, "Wa, 's OK to be gay, YOU jt n't be gay.

This prolonged my life the closet and I uld not be seen as gay to the rt of my class. It's where I me out, and I learned to live an open life and grow as a gay man. I feared I would be rejected by people I once was iends wh, terrified that the learship above me would look at me as ls of a man, or that any acplishment I have will be attributed to me beg gay, and not my mer.

TELL: AN INTIMATE HISTORY OF GAY MEN THE MILARY

In fact, some of the most volly homophobic people end up beg my biggt supporters. I want to prove that the gay muny is jt as strong and pable as the straight world. It remend a formal apology and pensatn of up to £50m.“As today’s report mak clear, that perd many endured the most horrific sexual abe and vlence, homophobic bullyg and harassment, all while bravely servg this untry,” Sunak told MP.“Today, on behalf of the Brish state, I apologise.

Many of those targeted had faced “somethg of a wch-hunt”, he said, cludg havg their nfinc broken, abe and beg forced to take tts wh no medil basis.Promisg the ernment would implement the “vast majory” of Etherton’s remendatns, Wallace said he would fully update the Commons a formal bate about the issue after the summer.Asked about pensatn, Wallace said he hoped to fd “an elegant solutn that match the need and the requirements of those dividuals”, promisg to set this out after recs.Dame Kelly Holm, who served the army and me out as gay last year, was among mpaigners who weled the apology. “It means a huge amount to be here today and to hear and be part of this wh some other veterans that are all part of the review,” the Olympic athlete said.“From a personal pot of view, the ban affected me terms of who I was and what I uldn’t be for 34 years, leadg me to do my documentary last year.”Rpondg to Sunak at PMQs, Keir Starmer said he was proud that was a Labour ernment that had repealed the ban, and he weled the apology.Starmer said one of his nstuents, Ken Wright, a former RAF service member who was “forced to leave the job he loved simply bee he was gay”, was the public gallery to hear the apology.Etherton’s report said: “I remend that the prime mister should liver an apology the UK parliament on behalf of the natn to all those LGBT service personnel who served unr and suffered om the ban (whether or not they were dismissed or discharged).”It remend that an “appropriate fancial award” should be ma to veterans affected by the ban, wh a maximum total of £50m, and said the plan should not be affected by normal ligatn time lims.