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class="jsx-3959280869 loadg-bar-ntaer"><div class="jsx-3959280869 loadg-bar"></div></div><hear class="jsx-897490467 hear"><div class="jsx-1852792583 sibar-page-hear"></div><sectn class="jsx-165819531 global-alert"><div class="jsx-165819531 page-ntent"><div class="jsx-3783769602 badge"><time class="jsx-1603570557 small">12 hrs</time></div><a class="lk" href="/articl/gam-2023-how-to-watch-schle-and-what-to-expect"><button class="jsx-1603570557 button button--sendary jsx-1457652164 ntaed small" type="button">Go</button><span class="jsx-165819531 tle">gam Cosplay Contt</span></a><button class="jsx-1603570557 button jsx-1457652164 in-button close-button centered" type="button" tle="Dismiss" aria-label="Dismiss"></button></div></sectn><div class="jsx-303009029 adun-wrapper"><div class="jsx-303009029 bobble bobble- pogot pg-article"><div data-mix-name="fourBy" data-pos="" data-pogo-hi="1" class="jsx-343126785 pogo-slot"></div></div></div><div id="p-top-ribbon" class="jsx-1373134118 piano-template-placeholr"></div></hear><ma id="ma-ntent" class="jsx-1402789575"><div class="jsx-303009029 adun-wrapper"><div class="jsx-303009029 fixed-on-mobile bobble bobble-0 pogot pg-article"><div data-mix-name="articleSticky" data-pos="0" data-pogo-hi="1" class="jsx-343126785 pogo-slot"></div></div></div><div class="jsx-310563508 page-hear page-ntent"><div class="terface jsx-153568585 stack jsx-3890109618 bold small"><a href="/tv/the-office" class="jsx-4245402894 article-object-lk unrled" data-cy="object-breadcmb">The Office</a></div><h1 class="display-tle jsx-1062180250" data-cy="article-headle">The Office: Michael Stt's Bt Quot</h1><h2 class="tle3 jsx-2866659985" data-cy="article-sub-headle">We look back at the wisdom of our favore regnal manager.</h2><div id="p-article-below-hear" class="jsx-3647225544 piano-template-placeholr wh-shadow"></div></div><div class="jsx-1897904587 page-ntent"><sectn class="jsx-3528870638 byle"><div class="stack jsx-816329128 byle-stack"><div class="stack jsx-1752463718 article-thors"><sectn class="jsx-1825775112 thor-avatars avatars-1"><div class="jsx-3001299294 thor-thumb profile-thumb aspect-rat aspect-rat-1-1"><img dg="async" alt="Cdy Whe" src=" srcSet=" 1x, 2x" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image profile-thumb-img jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823"/></div></sectn><div class="ptn jsx-1189612256">By <a href="/person/ciwhe" class="jsx-3953721931 article-thor unrled">Cdy Whe</a></div></div><div class="jsx-3176214726 divir"></div><div class="ptn jsx-1189612256">Updated: <!-- -->Jun 14, 2012 12:12 pm</div><div class="jsx-3176214726 divir"></div><div class="ptn jsx-1189612256">Posted: <!-- -->Apr 28, 2011 12:17 am</div></div><div class="jsx-4050243981 divir"></div></sectn><div id="p-article-below-hear-image" class="jsx-3606872557 piano-template-placeholr wh-shadow"></div></div><div class="jsx-3517015813 page-ntent"><div class="jsx-3517015813 si-by-si"><div class="jsx-3517015813 article-ntent page-0"><sectn class="article jsx-2571790323 article-sectn jsx-28683165"><sectn class="article-page">As we get ready for Steve Carell's fal episo of <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Office</a> (boo!), we thought was time to revis some of <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Michael</a> Stt's bt l om the show's past seven seasons. Sce takg the role origated by Office -creator Ricky Gervais the UK seri – no easy act to follow – Carell has gone his own way and ma Michael Stt somethg pletely his own. <div class="jsx-303009029 adun-wrapper"><div class="jsx-303009029 bobble bobble-0 pogot pg-article"><div data-mix-name="mediumAd" data-pos="0" data-pogo-hi="1" class="jsx-343126785 pogo-slot"></div></div></div> <br/> Dperate to be liked, terrified of lonels, polilly rrect and a seemgly endls source of muddled pop-culture referenc, the boss of Dunr Miffl's Scranton branch was a guy we uldn't help but love, even if we never wanted to work for him. Dpe his flaws, Michael's pth and unrlyg cency n be directly attributed to Carell's layered performance, pecially the last few episos towards the end of his n. Here's a look back at the reasons why Michael Stt's legacy will live on, long after Thursday's big farewell episo. <br/> <br/> <h4 class="tle4 jsx-3661393057" data-transform="sub-hear" data-label="Michael+the+Ladi'+Man">Michael+the+Ladi'+Man</h4> <br/> <output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <br/> Michael thks of himself as a player, but when down to , his datg prows leav a lot to be sired. For example, when learng that a sual game of pool was actually a setup for a bld date, Michael transforms to Date Mike: "Hi. I'm Date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs the morng?" Shudr. Michael's had a rocky datg life, om his realtor Carol Stills to his boss <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Jan</a> Levson to Pam's mom. When you go back and look at Michael's prev disastro, unhealthy relatnships and his overall opns about women, seems like a miracle that he fally end up wh his soul mate, <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Holly Flax</a>. <br/> <br/> Episo: "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Women's Appreciatn</a>" - <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Season 3</a> <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> In all the excement, I fot that my primary goal is to keep people safe. Women n't have fun if they don't feel safe. For example, Jan and I have a safe word se thgs go too far. Foliage. And if one of says that word, the other one has to stop. Although last time... she pretend she didn't hear me. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Job</a>" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael (after seeg Jan's newly enhanced breasts):</strong> "No. No, no, no, no. I'll tell you this, is <em>not</em> bee of the boob job. Exce me, <em>boob enhancement</em>. That would be shallow. And this is the oppose of shallow. This is... emotnally magnificent." <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">A Benihana Christmas</a>" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Bros before hos. Why? Bee your bros are always there for you. They've got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothg but great to your ho. And you told her she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hos the world. And then, sudnly she is not your ho no mo. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> Women's Appreciatn - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Any man who says he totally unrstands women is a fool. Bee they are un-unrstandable. There's a wishg founta at the mall. And I threw a for every woman the world and ma a wish. I wished for Jan to get over me. I wished for <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Phyllis</a> a plasma TV. I wished for <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Pam</a> to ga urage. I wished for Angela a heart, and for Kelly a bra. "Michael, how n you appreciate women so much but also dump one of them?" You mean, how n I be so illogil and flighty and unpredictable and emotnal? Well, maybe I learned somethg om women after all. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Happy Hour</a> - Season 6 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> I would say I kd of have an unfair advantage, bee I watch realy datg shows like a hawk, and I learn. I absorb rmatn om the strategi of the wners and the losers. Actually, I probably learn more om the losers. <br/> <br/> <h4 class="tle4 jsx-3661393057" data-transform="sub-hear" data-label="Michael+the+<a+class='tolk'+href='>Michael+the+<a+class='tolk'+href='</h4> <br/> <output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <br/> We may never know what turned Michael agast the office's HR the first place. All we know is that 's been hilar watchg Michael cut down Toby Flenrson at every opportuny. No matter how Toby tri to w him over, Michael stubbornly holds onto his hate like a dog wh a bone. And wh the exceptn of a brief sabbatil Costa Ri, Toby has had to put up wh the abe bee his job requir . He even tried to uncil Michael at one pot this season, but was no e. There may be peace the Middle East before there is any end to this fd. But that's fe by , sce 's a nstant source of edy. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Diversy Day</a>" - <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Season 1</a> <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> All right? Everybody pretty? Come on. Here we go. It's time. Let's do some good. <br/> <strong>Toby:</strong> Hey, we're not all gog to s a circle Indian style are we? <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Get out. <br/> <strong>Toby:</strong> I'm sorry. <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> No, this is not a joke. Okay? That was offensive and lame. So double offensive. This is an environment of welg and you should jt get the hell out of here. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Sexual Harassment</a>" - <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Season 2</a> <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Toby is HR which technilly means he works for Corporate. So he's really not a part of our fay. Also he's divorced so he's really not a part of his fay. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong>: "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Caso Night</a>" - Season 2 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Why are you the way that you are? Hontly, every time I try to do somethg fun or excg, you make not that way. I hate so much about the thgs that you choose to be. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Goodbye, Toby</a>" - <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Season 4</a> <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> I'll let you on a ltle secret: I've been very much lookg forward to this moment. Very, very much. I have been steeped anticipatn. Toby has been cis' for a bis' for twelve years, and I am now his cise director, and my name is Capta Bis'. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Frame Toby</a>" - Season 5 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> I tried, I tried. I tried to talk to Toby and be his iend but that is like tryg to be iends wh an evil snail. I feel like I'm dyg si. I feel like Neve Campbell Scream II. She thks she n go off to llege and be happy and then the murrer back and starts killg off all of her iends. I learned a lot of lsons om that movie, this is jt one of them. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Classy Christmas</a>" - Season 7 <br/> <strong>Toby: </strong> Uh, I jt wanted to let you know that I'll be takg a leave of absence startg next week. <br/> <strong>Michael: </strong> Uh, bee you've been on the lam? Bee the borg police have been after you, and they fally ught up wh you? <br/> <strong>Toby: </strong> Uh, no, the oppose. I was actually selected to be a juror on a very high-profile se. <br/> <strong>Michael: </strong> Y, the se of the horrible red-head sad sack. And the verdict, was Toby. And the sentence, ath. Death to Toby! <br/> <br/> <h4 class="tle4 jsx-3661393057" data-transform="sub-hear" data-label="Michael+the+Scholar">Michael+the+Scholar</h4> <br/> <output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <br/> It's no secret that Michael isn't exactly a Rhos scholar. What's tertg about him, though, is his total lack of awarens of jt how wrong he is sometim. He lov to talk a big game ont of the meras, but he's ually jt makg thgs up based on his very limed knowledge of facts and/or history. Here are some of his most amg flubs, and one possible reason why he mak them. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "Diversy Day" - Season 1 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Hi. I'm Michael Stt. I'm charge of Dunr Miffl Paper Products here Scranton, Pennsylvania but I'm also the founr of Diversy Tomorrow, bee today is almost over. Abraham Lln once said that, "If you're a racist, I will attack you wh the North." And those are the prcipl that I rry wh me the workplace. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Ben Frankl</a>" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Mr. Frankl, I would say you are probably one of the sexit prints ever. <br/> <strong>Ben Frankl:</strong> Well, actually, I never was print. <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Y, but Ben Frankl was. <br/> <strong>Ben Frankl:</strong> Ah. I'm here to teach you a ltle b about my life and the era of the foundg fathers. <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> And when they me over on the Mayflower. Bow chicka bow. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "Phyllis' Weddg" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> They say that your weddg day go by such a flash that you're lucky if you even get a piece of your own ke. I say that's crazy. I say let them eat ke. Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Negotiatn</a>" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Wikipedia is the bt thg ever. Anyone the world n wre anythg they want about any subject, so you know you are gettg the bt possible rmatn. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Secret Santa</a>" - Season 5 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> If this were Rsia, yeah sure, everyone would go to one Santa, and there would be a le around the block, and once you sat on her lap and she would ask you what you wanted and you would probably say eedom, at which pot the KGB would arrt you and send you to Siberia. It's a good thg Rsia don't exist anymore. <br/> <br/> <h4 class="tle4 jsx-3661393057" data-transform="sub-hear" data-label="Michael+the+Geni">Michael+the+Geni</h4> <br/> <output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <br/> It's not jt Michael's historil knowledge that's spotty. That's only one aspect of his overall qutnable telligence. He may have an unnny knack for sal, but Michael has proven time and aga that he has very ltle mon sense. Some of his more bonehead mov clu burng his foot on a Gee Foreman Grill, sendg out a topls picture of his boss to the entire warehoe, takg a pizza boy hostage and drivg to a lake when followg GPS directns. Will he ever learn? We sure hope not. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Injury</a>" - Season 2 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> What do I wre unr "reason for vis?" <br/> <strong>Jim:</strong> Concsn. What did you wre? <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Nothg. I wrote "brgg someone to the hospal." <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Travelg Salmen</a>" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Dwight</a> betrayed me once before. So this is his strike two. You know what they say? Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice, strike three. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Dunr Miffl Infy</a>" - Season 4 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Everyone always wants new thgs. Everybody lik new ventns, new technology. People will never be replaced by mach. In the end, life and bs are about human nnectns. And puters are about tryg to murr you a lake. And to me the choice is easy. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "Ben Frankl" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Yterday I was scrapg some gunk off my wall sockets wh a metal fork and I gave myself the nastit shock. And when I me to, I had an epiphery [sic]. Life is prec. And if I die I want my son to know the al. The al of life. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Lnch Party</a>" - Season 4 <br/> <strong>Pizza Boy:</strong> This is stupid. <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> You don't even know what stupid is. It's about to get all stupid up here! <br/> <br/> <h4 class="tle4 jsx-3661393057" data-transform="sub-hear" data-label="Michael+the+Father+Figure">Michael+the+Father+Figure</h4> <br/> <output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <br/> Whatever Michael's issu may be, he do genuely love his employe (all except for Toby, of urse). He don't necsarily re how they perform their assigned duti. In fact, we doubt Michael is even aware of what half of his staff actually do on a day-to-day basis. To Michael, the office isn't jt a group of employe forced to work together every day, they are a fay. And he prefers to see himself more as the paternal head of that fay than a boss. Sometim that gets him to trouble wh the pany, but 's jt the Michael Stt way. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Health Care</a>" - Season 1 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> The most sacred thg I do is re and provi for my workers, my fay. I give them money. I give them food. Not directly, but through the money. I heal them. Today, I am charge of pickg a great new health re plan. Right? That's what this is all about. Do that make me their doctor? Um, y, a way. Yeah, like a specialist. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Hot Girl</a>" - Season 1 <br/> Do I have a special someone? Well, yeah of urse. A bunch of 'em. My employe. If I had to choose between a one-night stand wh some stupid w I pick up a bar and the people? I'd pick them every time. Bee wh them, is an everyday stand and I still know their nam the morng. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong>: "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Fight</a>" - Season 2 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be aaid of how much they love me. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong>: "Grief Councelg" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> There are five stag to grief, which are nial, anger, bargag, prsn, and acceptance. And right now, out there, they're all nyg the fact that they're sad. And that's hard. And 's makg them all angry. And is my job to try to get them all the way through to acceptance. And if not acceptance, then jt prsn. If I n get them prsed, then I'll have done my job. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong>: "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Merger</a>" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> You know for a lot of the people this is the only fay they have. So, as far as I'm ncerned, this says "World's Bt Dad." <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Branch Wars</a>" - Season 4 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> You nnot take the hilar black guy om the office. <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Stanley</a> is part of what mak this branch so extraordary. The bluy wisdom, the sassy remarks, the crossword puzzl, the se, those big watery red ey. I don't know how Gee Bh did when Col Powell left, and if Uti thks that they are gog to poach Stanley, they have another thg g. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Nepotism</a>" - Season 6 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Would have been nice to work wh my fay. It would have been nice if Le had been able to stay here. But he uldn't. The thgs seldom work out. I don't know how Rglg Brothers do . Night after night, town after town, all across Ameri. You would thk they'd be sick of each other by now. But, clearly, they make work. And my hat's off to them. <br/> Click on the next page for more Michael quot! <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <h4 class="tle4 jsx-3661393057" data-transform="sub-hear" data-label="Michael+the+Culturally+Sensive">Michael+the+Culturally+Sensive</h4> <br/> <output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <br/> In his heart, we believe that Michael tly bears no ill will toward any particular race, genr or sexual orientatn. He jt gets so ught up tryg <em>not</em> to seem like he's prejudiced that he often across as prejudiced. His tenncy to rely on stereotyp is a trap he falls to a lot, and somethg that giv his -workers an openg to have some fun at his expense. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Carpet</a>" - Season 2 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talk' about. <br/> <strong>Stanley:</strong> That's not what a hate crime is. <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Well I hated ! A lot! <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Gay Wch Hunt</a>" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Corporate has ma my rponsibily today to put an end to 10,000 years of beg weird out by gays. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Convict</a>" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Why did the nvict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I jt wish that Josh had ma a more progrsive choice. Like a whe guy who went to prison for pollutg a black guy's lake. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Bs Trip</a>" - Season 5 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Did you know that Moroc is mon to exchange a small gift when meetg somebody for the first time? In Japan, you mt always m suici to avoid embarrassment. In Italy you mt always wash your hands after gog to the bathroom. This is nsired to be pole. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">St. Patrick's Day</a>" - Season 6 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> It is St. Patrick's Day, and here Scranton that is a huge al. It is the clost that the Irish will ever get to Christmas. <br/> <br/> <h4 class="tle4 jsx-3661393057" data-transform="sub-hear" data-label="Michael+the+Piable">Michael+the+Piable</h4> <br/> <output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <br/> Michael hasn't had an easy life. Over the years we've gotten glimps of his sad, lonely childhood and adolcence. It's no surprise that he grew up wh few iends. Poor Michael has jt been ught up a vic cycle all his life. The harr he tri, the more annoyg he gets. There's a certa poetry to his pa, though. You n spise him for his sensivy one mute and feel bad for him the next. Michael's not an eloquent man, but he has his moments. <br/> <br/> Episo: "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Take Your Dghter to Work Day</a>" - Season 2 <br/> <strong>Edward R. Meow: </strong> So tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up? <br/> <strong>Young Michael: </strong> I want to be married and have a hundred kids so I n have a hundred iends, and no one n say no to beg my iend. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Grief Counselg</a>" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> "I lost Ed Tck and feels like somebody took my heart and dropped to a bucket of boilg tears. And at the same time, somebody else is htg my soul the crotch wh a ozen sledgehammer. And then a third guy walks and starts punchg me the grief bone. And I'm cryg, and nobody n hear me, bee I'm terribly, terribly, terribly alone." <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "The Merger" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Sometim, what brgs the kids together is hatg the lunch lady. Although that'll change. Bee, by the end of the fourth gra, the lunch lady was actually the person I hung out wh the most. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Bs School</a>" - Season 3 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> A boss is like a teacher. And I am like the ol teacher. Like Mr. Hanll. Mr. Hanll would hang out wh , and he would tell awome jok. And he actually hooked up wh one of the stunts. Um... and then like twelve other kids me forward. It was all the papers. ... Really ed eighth gra for . <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Fun Run</a>" - Season 4 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy beg liked. I have to be liked. But 's not like a pulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "Dunr Miffl Infy" - Season 4 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> We had a foreign exchange stunt live wh when I was young. And we lled him my brother. And that's who I thought he was. Um, then he went home to what is now formerly Yugoslavia, takg all of my blue jeans wh him. And I had to spend the entire wter shorts. That is what <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Ryan</a> is like. A fake brother who steals your jeans. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Strs Relief</a>" - Season 5 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> You know sometim, to get perspective, I like to thk about a spaceman on a star credibly far away. And, our problems don't matter to him, bee we're jt a distant pot of light. But he feels sorry for me, bee he has an credibly powerful microspe, and he n see my face. [looks towards the sky] I'm okay. No, I'm not. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Double Date</a>" - Season 6 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> As I watched Pam's big, strong hand g towards my face I saw my entire life flash before my ey. And gus what? I have four kids. And I have a hover-r and a hover-hoe. And my wife is a nner and shows. And Pam and Jim are my bt iends and our kids play together. And I am happy and I am rich and I never die. It don't sound like much, but s enough for me. <br/> <br/> <h4 class="tle4 jsx-3661393057" data-transform="sub-hear" data-label="Michael+the+Comedian">Michael+the+Comedian</h4> <br/> <output class="box-wrapper jsx-537794787"><figure class="jsx-3954765903"><span><img dg="async" alt="" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te" src=" class="jsx-2920405963 progrsive-image article-image jsx-2407332289 jsx-3166191823 round loadg"/></span></figure></output> <br/> Michael harbors a not-so-secret dream of beg a succsful stand-up edian. One of the challeng he fac, bis jt not beg very good at the job, is that he n't seem to tell a joke whout offendg his dience. We n sympathize. That Lln joke might mot have gone over well 1865, but today 's not a bad way to open a set. Maybe when Michael is old and retired om the paper bs, he n give his AIDS joke another try. It's always nice to see a person live out their dreams. And bis, a Michael Stt le-o-rama wouldn't be plete whout his most famo quote of all: "That's what she said." <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "Health Care" - Season 1 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Rob Williams. Oh, man, would I love to go head-to-head wh him. Oh! That would be excg. "Hi, I'm Mork om Ork." Well, I'm Bork om Spork. Nanoo, nanoo. Jibelee, baloobaloo. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "Sexual Harassment" - Season 2 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Attentn, everyone! Hello! Ah, y! I jt want you to know that, uh, this is not my cisn, but om here on out... we n no longer be iends. And when we talk about thgs here we mt only discs work-associated thgs. And, uh, you n nsir this my retirement om edy. And the future, if I want to say somethg funny or wty or do an imprsn, I will no longer, ever, do any of those thgs. <br/> <strong>Jim:</strong> Do that clu "That's what she said?" <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Mmm-hmm. Y. <br/> <strong>Jim:</strong> Wow! That is really hard. You really thk you n go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and sg, so... <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> That's what she said! <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "Caso Night" - Season 2 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> There are certa topics that are off-lims to edians: JFK, AIDS, the Holot. The Lln Assassatn jt recently beme funny. "I need to see this play like I need a hole the head." And I hope to someday live a world where a person uld tell a hilar AIDS joke. It's one of my dreams. <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "<a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Did I Stutter</a>?" - Season 4 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> I am good person, and sometim, good people don't get no rpect. Rodney Dangerfield. Hey, I don't get no rpect. No rpect at all. When I was the sandbox as a kid, I got not rpect. My wife lik to talk after sex, so she lled me om a hotel room, and said, "I don't rpect you!" Ah, thoughtls. You know what don't get no rpect? Airplane food. Why don't they jt make the plane out of the airle food? My wife don't get no rpect, some... take her, please, for example. If you don't get no rpect, you might be redneck. Rpect is niiice. Borat. What's the al wh Grape nuts? No grap, no nuts. I don't get no rpect! <br/> <br/> <strong>Episo:</strong> "Strs Relief" - Season 5 <br/> <strong>Michael:</strong> Jim, you're 6'11 and you weigh 90 pounds, Gumby has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss-ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredh, you've slept wh so many guys you're startg to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kev, I n't ci between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. <a href=" target="_blank" class="jsx-955973305 unrled" class="tolk" rel="noopener noreferrer">Creed</a>, your teeth lled, your breath stks. Boom. Roasted. Angela where's Angela? Whoa there you are, I didn't see you there behd that gra of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you csh your wife durg sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted. Osr, you're gay. ... Andy, Cornell lled, they thk you suck. And you're gayer than Osr. Boom. Roasted. Alright. Alright everybody, you know I kid, you know I kid. You guys are the reason I went to the paper bs, so, uh, goodnight, God bls, God bls Ameri, and get home safe. <br/> <br/> Do you have your own favore Michael quot? Will you miss him when he's gone? Will you even keep watchg? 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