What If You Only Thought You Were Gay? | GQ

Contents:

• READG MY DIARY OM WHEN I WAS A TEEN MA ME REALIZE I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS GAY
• WHEN I ME OUT AS GAY, MY DAD THOUGHT I WAS POSSSED BY A MON AND FORCED ME TO NVERSN THERAPY. YEARS LATER, I'M NOW A HAPPY GAY MAN.
• SAME LOVEMACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWISTRACK 5 ON THE HEIST FEATURGMARY LAMBERTPRODUCED BYRYAN LEWISTHE THIRD SGLE OM MACKLEMORE AND RYAN LEWIS’S BUT ALBUM THE HEIST, “SAME LOVE” IS A POWERFUL SONG ABOUT MARRIAGE EQUALY FOR SAME-SEX UPL, AND HAS PLAYED A BIG… READ MORE JUL. 18, 20121 VIEWER3.7M VIEWS286 CONTRIBUTORSTRANSLATNSFRANçAISSAME LOVE LYRICS[PIANO INTRO][VERSE 1: MACKLEMORE]WHEN I WAS THE THIRD GRA, I THOUGHT THAT I WAS GAY'CSE I ULD DRAW, MY UNCLE WAS, AND I KEPT MY ROOM STRAIGHTI TOLD MY MOM, TEARS SHG DOWN MY FACESHE'S LIKE, "BEN, YOU'VE LOVED GIRLS SCE BEFORE PRE-K"TRIPP', YEAH, I GUS SHE HAD A POT, DIDN'T SHE?A BUNCH OF STEREOTYP ALL MY HEADI REMEMBER DOG THE MATH LIKE, "YEAH, I'M GOOD AT LTLE LEAGUE"A PRE-NCEIVED IA OF WHAT ALL MEANTFOR THOSE THAT LIKE THE SAME SEX HAD THE CHARACTERISTICSTHE RIGHT-WG NSERVATIV THK 'S A CISNAND YOU N BE CURED WH SOME TREATMENT AND RELIGNMAN-MA, REWIRG OF A PRE-DISPOSNPLAYG GOD, AW NAH, HERE WE GOAMERI THE BRAVE STILL FEARS WHAT WE DON'T KNOWAND "GOD LOV ALL HIS CHILDREN" IS SOMEHOW FOTTENBUT WE PARAPHRASE A BOOK WRTEN THIRTY-FIVE HUNDRED YEARS AGOI DON'T KNOW[CHOS: MARY LAMBERT]AND I N'T CHANGEEVEN IF I TRIEDEVEN IF I WANTED TOAND I N'T CHANGEEVEN IF I TRIEDEVEN IF I WANTED TOMY LOVE, MY LOVE, MY LOVESHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE[VERSE 2: MACKLEMORE]IF I WAS GAY, I WOULD THK HIP-HOP HAT MEHAVE YOU READ THE YOUTUBE MENTS LATELY?"MAN, THAT'S GAY" GETS DROPPED ON THE DAILYWE'VE BEE SO NUMB TO WHAT WE'RE SAY'OUR CULTURE FOUND OM OPPRSNYET WE DON'T HAVE ACCEPTANCE FOR 'EMCALL EACH OTHER FAGGOTS BEHD THE KEYS OF A MSAGE BOARDA WORD ROOTED HATE, YET OUR GENRE STILL IGNOR AND "GAY" IS SYNONYMO WH THE LSERIT'S THE SAME HATE THAT'S ED WARS OM RELIGNGENR TO SK LOR, THE PLEXN OF YOUR PIGMENTTHE SAME FIGHT THAT LED PEOPLE TO WALK-OUTS AND S-SIT'S HUMAN RIGHTS FOR EVERYBODY, THERE IS NO DIFFERENCELIVE ON AND BE YOURSELFWHEN I WAS AT CHURCH THEY TGHT ME SOMETHG ELSEIF YOU PREACH HATE AT THE SERVICE, THOSE WORDS AREN'T ANOTEDTHAT HOLY WATER THAT YOU SOAK HAS BEEN POISONEDWHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS MORE FORTABLE REMAG VOICELSRATHER THAN FIGHTG FOR HUMANS THAT HAVE HAD THEIR RIGHTS STOLENI MIGHT NOT BE THE SAME, BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANTNO EEDOM 'TIL WE'RE EQUAL, DAMN RIGHT I SUPPORT [TROMBONE INTERLU][CHOS: MARY LAMBERT]AND I N'T CHANGEEVEN IF I TRIEDEVEN IF I WANTED TOMY LOVE, MY LOVE, MY LOVESHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARM[VERSE 3: MACKLEMORE]WE PRS PLAY, DON'T PRS PSE, PROGRS, MARCH ONWH A VEIL OVER OUR EY, WE TURN OUR BACK ON THE E'TIL THE DAY THAT MY UNCL N BE UNED BY LAWWHEN KIDS ARE WALKG 'ROUND THE HALLWAYPLAGUED BY A PA THEIR HEARTA WORLD SO HATEFUL, SOME WOULD RATHER DIE THAN BE WHO THEY AREAND A CERTIFITE ON PAPER ISN'T GONNA SOLVE ALLBUT 'S A DAMN GOOD PLACE TO STARTNO LAW'S GONNA CHANGE , WE HAVE TO CHANGE WHATEVER GOD YOU BELIEVE , WE E OM THE SAME ONESTRIP AWAY THE FEAR, UNRNEATH 'S ALL THE SAME LOVEABOUT TIME THAT WE RAISED UP, SG[CHOS: MARY LAMBERT]AND I N'T CHANGEEVEN IF I TRIEDEVEN IF I WANTED TOAND I N'T CHANGEEVEN IF I TRIEDEVEN IF I WANTED TOMY LOVE, MY LOVE, MY LOVESHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARM[OUTRO: MARY LAMBERT]LOVE IS PATIENTLOVE IS KDLOVE IS PATIENTLOVE IS KD (NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS PATIENT (NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS KD (I'M NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS PATIENT (NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS KD (I'M NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS PATIENT (NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS KD (I'M NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS PATIENTLOVE IS KD231EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUT
• KEV MAXEN, JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH, OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR U.S.-BASED PRO LEAGU
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?
• ED SHEERAN RELLS THKG HE WAS ’GAY’ AS A KID: ‘I’M NOT A HUGELY MASCULE PERSON’
• I WAS BULLIED FOR BEG GAY AS A KID EVEN THOUGH I’M STRAIGHT
• ED SHEERAN REVEALED WHY HE THOUGHT HE WAS GAY WHILE GROWG UP

READG MY DIARY OM WHEN I WAS A TEEN MA ME REALIZE I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS GAY

Readg my diary nfirmed that I knew way before then that I was gay.

But the most movg tail was somethg I had no rellectn of — I always knew I was gay. I am nfint that, had the Deidre who wrote the words been exposed to healthy reprentatns of queer love om an early age, she would have known that beg gay was OK.

WHEN I ME OUT AS GAY, MY DAD THOUGHT I WAS POSSSED BY A MON AND FORCED ME TO NVERSN THERAPY. YEARS LATER, I'M NOW A HAPPY GAY MAN.

She wore a red sequned drs and my head her hair was bigger than Dolly Parton’s, although is highly likely that uld be me leang to the gay fantasy. While eventually I would e to realise I am also a gay man, long before my gay shame me the shame of beg a boy whose bt iend was a Barbie.

Has a history of repeatedly sharg unfound nspiraci that man-ma chemils the environment uld be makg children gay or transgenr and g the femizatn of boys and masculizatn of girls. The basels claim that chemils – particularly tap water – uld turn people gay has gaed populary wh nspiracy theorists over the years, most memorably wh nservative rad host Alex Jon, who said chemils the water were “turng the igg’ ogs gay.

As a 30-year-old gay man, I’ve met a lot of other queer people who also hid parts of themselv childhood. Experimentg wh femy the safety of the home — even somethg as mcule as selectg girl characters vio gam and livg virly through her abily to kick ass — seems to be a shared gay experience for many of .

SAME LOVEMACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWISTRACK 5 ON THE HEIST FEATURGMARY LAMBERTPRODUCED BYRYAN LEWISTHE THIRD SGLE OM MACKLEMORE AND RYAN LEWIS’S BUT ALBUM THE HEIST, “SAME LOVE” IS A POWERFUL SONG ABOUT MARRIAGE EQUALY FOR SAME-SEX UPL, AND HAS PLAYED A BIG… READ MORE JUL. 18, 20121 VIEWER3.7M VIEWS286 CONTRIBUTORSTRANSLATNSFRANçAISSAME LOVE LYRICS[PIANO INTRO][VERSE 1: MACKLEMORE]WHEN I WAS THE THIRD GRA, I THOUGHT THAT I WAS GAY'CSE I ULD DRAW, MY UNCLE WAS, AND I KEPT MY ROOM STRAIGHTI TOLD MY MOM, TEARS SHG DOWN MY FACESHE'S LIKE, "BEN, YOU'VE LOVED GIRLS SCE BEFORE PRE-K"TRIPP', YEAH, I GUS SHE HAD A POT, DIDN'T SHE?A BUNCH OF STEREOTYP ALL MY HEADI REMEMBER DOG THE MATH LIKE, "YEAH, I'M GOOD AT LTLE LEAGUE"A PRE-NCEIVED IA OF WHAT ALL MEANTFOR THOSE THAT LIKE THE SAME SEX HAD THE CHARACTERISTICSTHE RIGHT-WG NSERVATIV THK 'S A CISNAND YOU N BE CURED WH SOME TREATMENT AND RELIGNMAN-MA, REWIRG OF A PRE-DISPOSNPLAYG GOD, AW NAH, HERE WE GOAMERI THE BRAVE STILL FEARS WHAT WE DON'T KNOWAND "GOD LOV ALL HIS CHILDREN" IS SOMEHOW FOTTENBUT WE PARAPHRASE A BOOK WRTEN THIRTY-FIVE HUNDRED YEARS AGOI DON'T KNOW[CHOS: MARY LAMBERT]AND I N'T CHANGEEVEN IF I TRIEDEVEN IF I WANTED TOAND I N'T CHANGEEVEN IF I TRIEDEVEN IF I WANTED TOMY LOVE, MY LOVE, MY LOVESHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE[VERSE 2: MACKLEMORE]IF I WAS GAY, I WOULD THK HIP-HOP HAT MEHAVE YOU READ THE YOUTUBE MENTS LATELY?"MAN, THAT'S GAY" GETS DROPPED ON THE DAILYWE'VE BEE SO NUMB TO WHAT WE'RE SAY'OUR CULTURE FOUND OM OPPRSNYET WE DON'T HAVE ACCEPTANCE FOR 'EMCALL EACH OTHER FAGGOTS BEHD THE KEYS OF A MSAGE BOARDA WORD ROOTED HATE, YET OUR GENRE STILL IGNOR AND "GAY" IS SYNONYMO WH THE LSERIT'S THE SAME HATE THAT'S ED WARS OM RELIGNGENR TO SK LOR, THE PLEXN OF YOUR PIGMENTTHE SAME FIGHT THAT LED PEOPLE TO WALK-OUTS AND S-SIT'S HUMAN RIGHTS FOR EVERYBODY, THERE IS NO DIFFERENCELIVE ON AND BE YOURSELFWHEN I WAS AT CHURCH THEY TGHT ME SOMETHG ELSEIF YOU PREACH HATE AT THE SERVICE, THOSE WORDS AREN'T ANOTEDTHAT HOLY WATER THAT YOU SOAK HAS BEEN POISONEDWHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS MORE FORTABLE REMAG VOICELSRATHER THAN FIGHTG FOR HUMANS THAT HAVE HAD THEIR RIGHTS STOLENI MIGHT NOT BE THE SAME, BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANTNO EEDOM 'TIL WE'RE EQUAL, DAMN RIGHT I SUPPORT [TROMBONE INTERLU][CHOS: MARY LAMBERT]AND I N'T CHANGEEVEN IF I TRIEDEVEN IF I WANTED TOMY LOVE, MY LOVE, MY LOVESHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARM[VERSE 3: MACKLEMORE]WE PRS PLAY, DON'T PRS PSE, PROGRS, MARCH ONWH A VEIL OVER OUR EY, WE TURN OUR BACK ON THE E'TIL THE DAY THAT MY UNCL N BE UNED BY LAWWHEN KIDS ARE WALKG 'ROUND THE HALLWAYPLAGUED BY A PA THEIR HEARTA WORLD SO HATEFUL, SOME WOULD RATHER DIE THAN BE WHO THEY AREAND A CERTIFITE ON PAPER ISN'T GONNA SOLVE ALLBUT 'S A DAMN GOOD PLACE TO STARTNO LAW'S GONNA CHANGE , WE HAVE TO CHANGE WHATEVER GOD YOU BELIEVE , WE E OM THE SAME ONESTRIP AWAY THE FEAR, UNRNEATH 'S ALL THE SAME LOVEABOUT TIME THAT WE RAISED UP, SG[CHOS: MARY LAMBERT]AND I N'T CHANGEEVEN IF I TRIEDEVEN IF I WANTED TOAND I N'T CHANGEEVEN IF I TRIEDEVEN IF I WANTED TOMY LOVE, MY LOVE, MY LOVESHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARMSHE KEEPS ME WARM[OUTRO: MARY LAMBERT]LOVE IS PATIENTLOVE IS KDLOVE IS PATIENTLOVE IS KD (NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS PATIENT (NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS KD (I'M NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS PATIENT (NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS KD (I'M NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS PATIENT (NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS KD (I'M NOT CRYG ON SUNDAYS)LOVE IS PATIENTLOVE IS KD231EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUT

None of this mak a person gay, of urse. It feels remiscent of the adoratn that gay fans hold toward old Hollywood beti like Joan Crawford and Judy Garland, or the pageant-style exaggeratns of femy that unrpned so much of early drag culture. Barbie has been the subject of the same gay diva worship over the years, and Gerwig’s film promently featurg LGBTQ+ actors feels like a nod to that history.

Part of Barbie’s gay appeal might be that, spe beg plastic and unmalleable, she n transform herself to anythg: doctor, lawyer, judge, journalist, and vet, or whatever Mattel thks will sell the most dolls. ) As the world’s most famo doll, she has been st as both an aspiratnal hero and a rctive villa — the gay world, this polarizg dualy often turns women to ins.

After I me out as gay, I spent a lot of my younger adult life reilg when people said that they “already knew.

KEV MAXEN, JAGUARS ASSOCIATE STRENGTH ACH, OUT AS GAY A FIRST FOR U.S.-BASED PRO LEAGU

Now, I feel proud of my ltle gay self for havg the urage to play wh those fabulo dolls — and of my parents for buyg me the toys I wanted, not the on I was supposed to like. At 17, he accepted himself as gay and wrote a one-person play about his experience. He texted me one day and asked if I was gay.

Then Dad drove me four hours to see a therapist; that's when my gay nversn therapy started. At other pots, I was schooled on how to s appropriately and talk the right way for a my later teen years, I went back to the closet and tried to be straight 3 separate timEach time I pretend to be straight, my gay tennci rose up, which led to feelgs of shame.

I had a girliend at one pot, even though I knew that wasn't right for parents cid to move and enrolled me a new school bee mors were circulatg that I was gay, and they felt before turng 16, I tried leadg a straight life wh a secretive double life as a gay boy. At 30, I now live my life openly as a gay man and have a good relatnship wh my mom, who has divorced my dad.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

My life as an openly gay man is now fabuloly brilliant. Although this wasn’t the first rap song to fend homosexualy (See “Animal Style” by Murs), this was the first to see mastream succs.

In 2015, twelve years after the US Supreme Court validated laws prohibg gay sex, and two years after the Court extend Feral regnn of same-sex marriag, gay marriage fally beme legalized s entirety all 50 a qutn about this songAsk a qutn *What have the artists said about the song?

WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?

As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart. I had spected at tim that he was gay.

ED SHEERAN RELLS THKG HE WAS ’GAY’ AS A KID: ‘I’M NOT A HUGELY MASCULE PERSON’

Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would have fensively said "No! San Berland, the mother of a gay son who ach parents of LGBTQ kids, utn, "It's not a good ia to ask.

Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this. Mol acceptance by not g gay slurs and never tellg gay jok. Watch gay-themed shows together such as "The Fosters" and "Will and Grace.

I WAS BULLIED FOR BEG GAY AS A KID EVEN THOUGH I’M STRAIGHT

" How do they pict gay people? React kdly to gay people the news or on televisn. In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay.

In orr to have doubts about one’s sexual inty, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. If the sufferer is heterosexual, then the thought may be that they are homosexual. If on the other hand they happen to be homosexual they may obss about the possibily that they might really be straight.

” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight).

ED SHEERAN REVEALED WHY HE THOUGHT HE WAS GAY WHILE GROWG UP

For those wh thoughts of beg homosexual, part of the distrs mt surely be social orig. Let’s face , gay people have always been an opprsed mory wh our culture, and to sudnly thk of beg this posn, and to be stigmatized this way, n be ighteng. I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt.

Lookg at attractive men or women, or pictur of them, or readg sexually oriented lerature or pornography (hetero- or homosexual), to see if they are sexually excg. Observg themselv for evince of “lookg, ” talkg, walkg, drsg, or gturg like someone who is eher gay or straight.