When Gay Men (Mis)Marry Straight Women: Bonnie Kaye's Story | Psychology Today

Contents:

• THE PEOPLE WHO OPPOSE THE GAY MARRIAGE LAW
• AFTER YEARS OF PROGRS ON GAY RIGHTS, HOW DID THE US BEE SO ANTI-LGBTQ+?
• THE #1 REASON I HATE GAY MARRIAGE
• WHY DO STRAIGHTS HATE GAYS?
• 31 ARGUMENTS AGAST GAY MARRIAGE (AND WHY THEY’RE ALL WRONG)
• WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY

THE PEOPLE WHO OPPOSE THE GAY MARRIAGE LAW

The chang are associated wh creased visibily of openly gay characters on televisn, the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” and the Supreme Court cisn that legalized same-sex marriage. For every highly publicized act of vlence toward sexual mori, such as the recent mass shootg at a gay nightclub Orlando, there are many more physil and verbal asslts, attempted asslts, acts of property damage or timidatns which are never reported to thori, let alone publicized by the media.

But when we back up and thk about this aggrsn wh the amework of sexual stigma, we n see that the of antigay vlence n eper and are more plex than a simple “prejudice” explanatn. Sanrs, the IU law profsor, explaed further: If stat merely want to "protect marriage" by nyg same-sex upl om weddg, then why also refe to regnize gay marriag om other stat, prohib civil unns and ny domtic partnership benefs?

AFTER YEARS OF PROGRS ON GAY RIGHTS, HOW DID THE US BEE SO ANTI-LGBTQ+?

Sometim the bate on gay marriage has been polarised, stg those who supported the measure as the right-thkg and those who opposed as irratnal and guilty of tac homophobia. The relig scepticThere are relig people who oppose gay marriage primarily out of a fear that one day equaly laws will force a church, mosque or temple to host a ceremony. As an atheist gay who regards marriage as part of the baggage of heterosexual society which I have e to rpect but n never fully share, I am tempted to say a plague on both your ho, " he wrote the Daily Telegraph source, Getty ImagImage ptn, The historian David Starkey: "I'm torn on gay marriage"Actor Rupert Everett perhaps gave the most lourful argument agast, a 2012 terview the Guardian.

"Society gave legal and stutnal exprsn to what many hold to be te - that gay and lbian people should have the same rights to formalise their mment to each other and enjoy the social and legal benefs that oppose-sex upl have, " said the Lord Bishop of Exeter to the Hoe of Lords 2013. A rash of laws ncerng the teachg of human sexualy school curricula, banng trans stunt athlet and strippg parents of the right to help their genr-variant children obta appropriate re have popped up numero red stat this same-sex marriage is now part of the fabric of Ameri, nservativ have chosen to explo Amerins’ unfaiary wh trans people and piggyback on parental anger over the perceived overreach of Covid-era school closur, nflatg wh an sid sense of “wokens”, the hop of fdg an electorally viable sluiceway for anti-LGBTQ+ most famo of the anti-LGBTQ+ laws is the piece of Florida legislatn banng stctn on sexual orientatn or genr inty schools between krgarten and third gra, the so-lled “don’t say gay” law.

The ernor and his supporters have labeled as a “groomer” anyone who believ children n learn LGBTQ+ people exist, argug that simply by talkg about gay relatnships to a child, you are sexualizg that child. He was followed by Arizona’s ernor, Doug Ducey, who, after barrg mors om genr-affirmatn treatment, wouldn’t even state for the rerd that trans people were Florida lawmaker Michele Rayner-Goolsby, left, hugs her wife, Bian Goolsby, durg a march at cy hall St Petersburg agast the ‘don’t say gay’ bill. Photograph: Bob Daemmrich/Zuma Wire/Rex/ShutterstockPolicians are supported the media by mentators like Tucker Carlson, who claimed “no one had heard of this trans thg four years ago”, or Charlie Kirk, channelg 1980s fears sayg “gays want to rpt your children” rejuvenated, the right wg is poised to make transphobia and homophobia rnerston of the midterms and 2024 electns, wh promis to liver “don’t say gay” legislatn stat cludg Michigan and New Perks, the print of the Fay Rearch Council, a nservative lobbyg group, veighed agast the ernors of Indiana and Utah for vetog legislatn banng trans women om participatg sports, llg the bills “timely, mastream protectns”.

THE #1 REASON I HATE GAY MARRIAGE

The Republin US reprentative Marjorie Taylor Greene vowed to troduce a feral “don’t say gay” bill if Republins w the Hoe this November, only to one-up herself days later by tweetg that for people to be pro-trans is to be pro-pedophilia. ”The bs-iendly wg of the GOP that would quietly team up wh Democrats to scuttle rabidly homophobic bills is now outnumbered, and legislators a dozen or more stat that lean even farther to the right than DeSantis are takg, the Natnal Center for Lbian Rights legal director, believ Florida is the tt se for a renewed ph for an aggrsive, Christian-natnalist program. ”The “don’t say gay” bill, Mter not, is very siar to what’s been passed Rsia, tetherg Amerin nservativ to their thorarian unterparts who have succsfully rolled back mocratic norms across eastern Europe.

“I’ve seen this movie before over the last 30 years: The right wg cid to target the LGBTQ muny, whether ’s around marriage or adoptn or trans kids playg sports or bathrooms, ” says the California state senator Stt Wiener, who is gay.

“I thought was really important to ph back on the policy level, and to send a clear signal that California and other stat really re about the kids, ” he believ that “don’t say gay” is “patently unnstutnal” but also ntends that relyg on the judicial system to protect human rights may no longer be a sound optn.

WHY DO STRAIGHTS HATE GAYS?

The term “homosexualy, ” while sometim nsired anachronistic the current era, is the most applible and easily translatable term to e when askg this qutn across societi and languag and has been ed other cross-natnal studi, cludg the World Valu Survey.

Dpe major chang laws and norms surroundg the issue of same-sex marriage and the rights of LGBT people around the world, public opn on the acceptance of homosexualy society remas sharply divid by untry, regn and enomic velopment. In many of the untri surveyed, there also are differenc on acceptance of homosexualy by age, tn, e and, some stanc, genr – and several s, the differenc are substantial. For example, some untri, those who are affiliated wh a relig group tend to be ls acceptg of homosexualy than those who are unaffiliated (a group sometim referred to as relig “non”).

For example, Swen, the Netherlands and Germany, all of which have a per-pa gross domtic product over $50, 000, acceptance of homosexualy is among the hight measured across the 34 untri surveyed. The study is a follow-up to a 2013 report that found many of the same patterns as seen today, although there has been an crease acceptance of homosexualy across many of the untri surveyed both years. But sub-Saharan Ai, the Middle East, Rsia and Ukrae, few say that society should accept homosexualy; only South Ai (54%) and Israel (47%) do more than a quarter hold this view.

31 ARGUMENTS AGAST GAY MARRIAGE (AND WHY THEY’RE ALL WRONG)

However, while took nearly 15 years for acceptance to rise 13 pots om 2000 to jt before the feral legalizatn of gay marriage June 2015, there was a near equal rise acceptance jt the four years sce legalizatn. This difference was most pronounced South Korea, where 79% of 18- to 29-year-olds say homosexualy should be accepted by society, pared wh only 23% of those 50 and olr.

This staggerg 56-pot difference exceeds the next largt difference Japan by 20 pots, where 92% and 56% of those ag 18 to 29 and 50 and olr, rpectively, say homosexualy should be accepted by society. In a siar number of untri, those who earn more money than the untry’s natnal median e also are more likely to say they accept homosexualy society than those who earn ls. In many of the untri where there are measurements of iology on a left-right sle, those on the left tend to be more acceptg of homosexualy than those on the iologil right.

In South Korea, for example, those who classify themselv on the iologil left are more than twice as likely to say homosexualy is acceptable than those on the iologil right (a 39-percentage-pot difference).

WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY

In a siar ve, those who support right-wg populist parti Europe, many of which are seen by LGBT groups as a threat to their rights, are ls supportive of homosexualy society. In Spa, people wh a favorable opn of the Vox party, which recently has begun to oppose some gay rights, are much ls likely to say that homosexualy is acceptable than those who do not support the party.

And Poland, supporters of the erng PiS (Law and Jtice), which has explicly targeted gay rights as anathema to tradnal Polish valu, are 23 percentage pots ls likely to say that homosexualy should be accepted by society than those who do not support the erng party. But even untri like France and Germany where acceptance of homosexualy is high, there are differenc between supporters and non-supporters of key right-wg populist parti such as Natnal Rally France and Alternative for Germany (AfD). Relign, both as relat to relative importance people’s liv and actual relig affiliatn, also plays a large role perceptns of the acceptabily of homosexualy many societi across the globe.