Jt Bee He Breath: Learng to Tly Love Our Gay Son | HuffPost Voic

Contents:

• JT BEE HE BREATH: LEARNG TO TLY LOVE OUR GAY SON
• I TRIED TO STOP MY SON OM BEG GAY. HERE’S WHAT I WISH I HAD KNOWN
• WHY -- AND HOW -- WE ACCEPT OUR GAY SON AS DEVOUT MORMON PARENTS
• KEEPG THE FAH, AND LOVG YOUR GAY SON
• GOP LAWMAKER SAYS HE’S ‘ROOTG’ FOR GAY SON AT WEDDG AFTER VOTG AGAST SAME-SEX MARRIAGE BILL
• PARENTS ASK: SHOULD WE WA FOR OUR SON TO E OUT — OR ASK HIM OURSELV IF HE’S GAY?
• MY GRANDSON IS GAY… AND I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH
• MAGIC JOHNSON TALKS ABOUT G TO LOVE HIS GAY SON
• MY DEAD GAY SONHEATHERS THE MIL ENSEMBLETRACK 10 ON HEATHERS: THE MIL (WORLD PREMIERE CAST RERDG) FEATURGDANIEL COONEY & ANTHONY CRIVELLOPRODUCED BYMICHAEL CROER, KEV MURPHY & 1 MOREAT RAM & KURT’S FUNERAL, THEIR HOMOPHOBIC DADS E TO TERMS WH THE IA THAT THEIR SONS WERE GAY, AND FACT E OUT THEMSELV.JUN. 9, 20141 VIEWER174.8K VIEWS73 CONTRIBUTORSTRANSLATNSFRANçAISMY DEAD GAY SON LYRICS[RAM'S DAD, SPOKEN]YOU WA JT A MUTE, PL! IT IS IGNORANT, HATEFUL TALK LIKE YOURS THAT MAK THIS WORLD A PLACE OUR BOYS ULD NOT LIVE !(SUNG)THEY WERE NOT DIRTY!THEY WERE NOT WRONG!THEY WERE TWO LONELY VERSIN THE LORD'S GREAT SONG![KURT'S DAD, SPOKEN]OUR BOYS WERE PANSI, BILL![RAM'S DAD]Y!MY BOY'S A HOMOSEXUALAND THAT DON'T SRE ME NONE—I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW...I LOVE MY AD GAY SON!(SPOKEN)I'VE BEEN THKG. PRAYG. READG SOME MAGAZ. AND 'S TIME WE OPENED OUR EY!(SUNG)WELL, THE GOOD LORD MA THE UNIVERSETHE LORD CREATED MANAND I BELIEVE 'S ALL A PART OF HIS GIGANTIC PLANI KNOW GOD HAS A REASONFOR EACH MOUNTA AND EACH FLOWERAND WHY HE CHOSE TO LET OUR BOYS GET BY THE SHOWER!THEY WERE NOT DIRTY—THEY WERE NOT US!THEY WERE JT TWO STRAY LAC THE LORD'S BIG BOOTSWELL, I NEVER RED FOR HOMOS MUCH UNTIL I REARED ME ONEYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION]BUT NOW I'VE LEARNED TO LOVE…[RAM’S DAD]I LOVE MY AD GAY SON![CONGREGATION]HE LOV HIS SONHE LOV HIS SONHIS AD GAY SON![RAM'S DAD]NOW, I SAY MY BOY'S HEAVEN!AND HE'S TANNG BY THE POOLTHE CHEBIM WALK WH HIM AND HIM, AND J SAYS 'S OL!THEY DON'T HAVE CRIME OR HATRED, THERE'S NO BIGOTRY OR CURS' -JT IENDLY FELLOWS DRSED UP LIKE THEIR FAV'RE VILLAGE PERSON!THEY WERE NOT DIRTY—[CONGREGATION]NO, NO![RAM’S DAD]THEY JT HAD FLAIR![CONGREGATION]WHOA![RAM’S DAD]THEY WERE TWO BRIGHT RED RIBBONS THE LORD'S LONG HAIRWELL, I ED TO SEE A HOMO AND GO REACH' FOR MY GUN[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION]BUT NOW I'VE LEARNED TO LOVE…[RAM’S DAD]AND FURTHERMORE!THE BOYS WERE BRAVE AS HELL!THE BOYS , THEY KNEW DAMN WELL!THOSE FOLKS WOULD JUDGE 'EM, THEY WERE SPERATE TO BE EE!THEY TOOK A REBEL STANCE, STRIPPED TO THEIR UNRPANTS!PL, I N'T BELIEVE THAT YOUSTILL REFE TO GET A CLUEAFTER ALL THAT WE BEEN THROUGH—(SPOKEN)I'M TALK’ YOU AND ME!IN THE SUMMER OF '83![KURT'S DAD, SPOKEN]THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A FISHG TRIP[CONGREGATION]WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOAWHOA, WHOA, WHOA!THEY WERE NOT DIRTY—NO!AND NOT PERVERSE—NO, NO!THEY WERE JT TWO STRAY RHTONON THE LORD'S BIG PURSE![BOTH DADS]OUR JOB IS NOW NTUG THE WORK THAT THEY BEGUN![CONGREGATION]'CSE NOW WE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!WE LOVE YOUR AD—[RAM’S DAD]THEY'RE UP THERE DIS DANCG TO THE THUMP OF ANGEL WGS![KURT’S DAD]THEY GRAB A MATE…[RAM’S DAD]AND ROLLER SKATE—[BOTH DADS]WHILE JUDY GARLAND SGS![RAM’S DAD]THEY LIVE A PLAYFUL AFTERLIFE THAT'S FANCY-EE AND RECKLS![KURT'S DAD]THEY SWG UPON THE PEARLY GAT—[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION]AND WEAR A PEARLY NECKLACE![CONGREGATION]WHOO![BOTH DADS]THEY WERE NOT DIRTY![CONGREGATION]NO![BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION]THEY WERE GOOD MEN!AND NOW THEY'RE HAPPY BEAR CUBS THE LORD'S BIG N![BOTH DADS]GO FORTH AND LOVE EACH OTHER NOWLIKE OUR BOYS WOULD HAVE DONEWE'LL TEACH THE WORLD TO LOVE...[CONGREGATION]THE WORLD TO LOVE...[ALL]THE WORLD TO LOVE...[BOTH DADS OVERLAPPG WH NGREGATN]I LOVE MY AD GAY SON!MY SON! MY SON![CONGREGATION]NOT HALF BAD, YOUR AD GAY SON!WISH I HAD YOUR AD GAY SON!THANK YOU, DAD, FOR YOUR...[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION]DEAD! GAY! SON!5EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUT
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY
• A DEVOUT CHRISTIAN EXPRS UNWAVERG LOVE FOR HER GAY SON
• MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?

JT BEE HE BREATH: LEARNG TO TLY LOVE OUR GAY SON

Some of you might have noticed that our son Ryan announced today on social media that he is gay. • I fd hard to believe – and stomach – that some parents whdraw their love om their own children when they disclose that they are gay. • I unrstand that there are a lot of unanswered qutns about homosexualy.

I TRIED TO STOP MY SON OM BEG GAY. HERE’S WHAT I WISH I HAD KNOWN

The lack of revelatn om God regardg the how’s, why’s and what’s to bee of regardg homosexualy, and the Church’s flailg while sperately tryg to addrs this issue do not build fah, requir addnal fah.

By now u probably have an ia of what i am about to says: I am gayRyan says: i n't believe i jt told youMom says: Are you jokg? Ryan says: i know i amRyan says: i don't like hannahRyan says: 's jt a ver-upMom says: but that don't make you says: i knowRyan says: but u don't unrstandRyan says: i am gayMom says: tell me moreRyan says: 's jt the way i am and 's somethg i knowRyan says: u r not a lbian and u know that.

Ryan says: i am jt gayRyan says: i am thatMom says: I love you no matter whatRyan says: i am whe not blackRyan says: i knowRyan says: i am a boy not a girlRyan says: i am attracted to boys not girlsRyan says: u know that about yourself and i know thisMom says: what about what God thks about actg on the sir? Not that we didn't know and love gay people; my only brother had e out to several years before, and we adored him.

WHY -- AND HOW -- WE ACCEPT OUR GAY SON AS DEVOUT MORMON PARENTS

The feelgs you've had for other guys don't make you gay. So please don't tell anyone that you are gay. Your inty is not that you are gay; is that you are a child of love you.

KEEPG THE FAH, AND LOVG YOUR GAY SON

He read all the books that claimed to know where his gay feelgs me om, dove to unselg to further disver the whys of his unwanted attractn to other guys, worked through paful nflict rolutn wh my hband and me and built strong iendships wh other guys -- straight guys -- jt like the reparative therapy experts advised.

And we lost the abily to love our gay son, bee we no longer had a gay son.

GOP LAWMAKER SAYS HE’S ‘ROOTG’ FOR GAY SON AT WEDDG AFTER VOTG AGAST SAME-SEX MARRIAGE BILL

What we had wished for, prayed for, hoped for -- that we would not have a gay son -- me te.

But not at all the way we had, when I thk back on the fear that erned all my reactns durg those first six years after Ryan told he was gay, I crge as I realize how foolish I was. Now, whenever Rob and I jo our gay iends for an eveng, I thk about how much I would love to be visg wh Ryan and his partner over dner. 14, 2013, which would have been Ryan's 24th is now posted, along wh other blog posts, at sonGay ChildrenLGBT kidsParents Of Gay kidsgay kids.

By now u probably have an ia of what i am about to I am gayRyan: i n’t believe i jt told youMom: Are you jokg?

PARENTS ASK: SHOULD WE WA FOR OUR SON TO E OUT — OR ASK HIM OURSELV IF HE’S GAY?

Ryan: i know i amRyan: i don’t like hannahRyan: ’s jt a ver-upMom: but that don’t make you gay…Ryan: i knowRyan: but u don’t unrstandRyan: i am gayMom: tell me moreRyan: ’s jt the way i am and ’s somethg i knowRyan: u r not a lbian and u know that. Ryan: i am jt gayRyan: i am thatMom: I love you no matter whatRyan: i am whe not blackRyan: i knowRyan: i am a boy not a girlRyan: i am attracted to boys not girlsRyan: u know that about yourself and i know thisMom: what about what God thks about actg on the sir?

Not that we didn’t know and love gay people — my only brother had e out to several years before, and we adored him.

The feelgs you’ve had for other guys don’t make you gay. So please don’t tell anyone that you ARE gay. Your inty is not that you are gay — is that you are a child of love you.

MY GRANDSON IS GAY… AND I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH

He read all the Christian books that explaed where his gay feelgs me om and dove to unselg to further disver the orig of his unwanted attractn to other guys. What we had wished, prayed and hoped for — that we would not have a gay son — me te. I was aaid of all the wrong, when I thk back on the fear that erned all my reactns durg those first six years after Ryan told he was gay, I crge as I realize how foolish I was.

We alsolearned that many kids who are genr-nonnformg like Will wouldbe gay when they grow wh that knowledge, didn't e as a surprise when, at age9, Will began to tell he had csh on other boys. As an activeLDS fay, the fact that our son may be gay had many implitns fos. Seegher rearch helped give the urage and permissn to celebrateWill for the credibly strong and brave person that he is -- exactlyas he FAP is releasg a new versn of the origal pamphlet thathelped , Supportive Fai, Healthy Children, aimed specifilly at LDSfai of lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr (LGBT) pamphlet enabl LDS fai to keep their foc on thewell-beg of their kids by lettg them know the nsequenc of thetheir acceptance or lack thereof, wrten language that will befaiar to LDS rears.

MAGIC JOHNSON TALKS ABOUT G TO LOVE HIS GAY SON

But to actually be lockg ey wh Ellen and hold her, shakg hands as she said, "I'm gay, " on natnal televisn and for the first time, as she has shared outloud that way publicly, was such a profoundly extraordary and timate gift to that moment that I will forever be grateful for. Keepg The Fah, And Lovg Your Gay Son. But her fah was shaken when she found out her teenage son is gay.

Interview Highlights "Everythg I thought a gay person was...

MY DEAD GAY SONHEATHERS THE MIL ENSEMBLETRACK 10 ON HEATHERS: THE MIL (WORLD PREMIERE CAST RERDG) FEATURGDANIEL COONEY & ANTHONY CRIVELLOPRODUCED BYMICHAEL CROER, KEV MURPHY & 1 MOREAT RAM & KURT’S FUNERAL, THEIR HOMOPHOBIC DADS E TO TERMS WH THE IA THAT THEIR SONS WERE GAY, AND FACT E OUT THEMSELV.JUN. 9, 20141 VIEWER174.8K VIEWS73 CONTRIBUTORSTRANSLATNSFRANçAISMY DEAD GAY SON LYRICS[RAM'S DAD, SPOKEN]YOU WA JT A MUTE, PL! IT IS IGNORANT, HATEFUL TALK LIKE YOURS THAT MAK THIS WORLD A PLACE OUR BOYS ULD NOT LIVE !(SUNG)THEY WERE NOT DIRTY!THEY WERE NOT WRONG!THEY WERE TWO LONELY VERSIN THE LORD'S GREAT SONG![KURT'S DAD, SPOKEN]OUR BOYS WERE PANSI, BILL![RAM'S DAD]Y!MY BOY'S A HOMOSEXUALAND THAT DON'T SRE ME NONE—I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW...I LOVE MY AD GAY SON!(SPOKEN)I'VE BEEN THKG. PRAYG. READG SOME MAGAZ. AND 'S TIME WE OPENED OUR EY!(SUNG)WELL, THE GOOD LORD MA THE UNIVERSETHE LORD CREATED MANAND I BELIEVE 'S ALL A PART OF HIS GIGANTIC PLANI KNOW GOD HAS A REASONFOR EACH MOUNTA AND EACH FLOWERAND WHY HE CHOSE TO LET OUR BOYS GET BY THE SHOWER!THEY WERE NOT DIRTY—THEY WERE NOT US!THEY WERE JT TWO STRAY LAC THE LORD'S BIG BOOTSWELL, I NEVER RED FOR HOMOS MUCH UNTIL I REARED ME ONEYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION]BUT NOW I'VE LEARNED TO LOVE…[RAM’S DAD]I LOVE MY AD GAY SON![CONGREGATION]HE LOV HIS SONHE LOV HIS SONHIS AD GAY SON![RAM'S DAD]NOW, I SAY MY BOY'S HEAVEN!AND HE'S TANNG BY THE POOLTHE CHEBIM WALK WH HIM AND HIM, AND J SAYS 'S OL!THEY DON'T HAVE CRIME OR HATRED, THERE'S NO BIGOTRY OR CURS' -JT IENDLY FELLOWS DRSED UP LIKE THEIR FAV'RE VILLAGE PERSON!THEY WERE NOT DIRTY—[CONGREGATION]NO, NO![RAM’S DAD]THEY JT HAD FLAIR![CONGREGATION]WHOA![RAM’S DAD]THEY WERE TWO BRIGHT RED RIBBONS THE LORD'S LONG HAIRWELL, I ED TO SEE A HOMO AND GO REACH' FOR MY GUN[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION]BUT NOW I'VE LEARNED TO LOVE…[RAM’S DAD]AND FURTHERMORE!THE BOYS WERE BRAVE AS HELL!THE BOYS , THEY KNEW DAMN WELL!THOSE FOLKS WOULD JUDGE 'EM, THEY WERE SPERATE TO BE EE!THEY TOOK A REBEL STANCE, STRIPPED TO THEIR UNRPANTS!PL, I N'T BELIEVE THAT YOUSTILL REFE TO GET A CLUEAFTER ALL THAT WE BEEN THROUGH—(SPOKEN)I'M TALK’ YOU AND ME!IN THE SUMMER OF '83![KURT'S DAD, SPOKEN]THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A FISHG TRIP[CONGREGATION]WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOAWHOA, WHOA, WHOA!THEY WERE NOT DIRTY—NO!AND NOT PERVERSE—NO, NO!THEY WERE JT TWO STRAY RHTONON THE LORD'S BIG PURSE![BOTH DADS]OUR JOB IS NOW NTUG THE WORK THAT THEY BEGUN![CONGREGATION]'CSE NOW WE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!WE LOVE YOUR AD—[RAM’S DAD]THEY'RE UP THERE DIS DANCG TO THE THUMP OF ANGEL WGS![KURT’S DAD]THEY GRAB A MATE…[RAM’S DAD]AND ROLLER SKATE—[BOTH DADS]WHILE JUDY GARLAND SGS![RAM’S DAD]THEY LIVE A PLAYFUL AFTERLIFE THAT'S FANCY-EE AND RECKLS![KURT'S DAD]THEY SWG UPON THE PEARLY GAT—[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION]AND WEAR A PEARLY NECKLACE![CONGREGATION]WHOO![BOTH DADS]THEY WERE NOT DIRTY![CONGREGATION]NO![BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION]THEY WERE GOOD MEN!AND NOW THEY'RE HAPPY BEAR CUBS THE LORD'S BIG N![BOTH DADS]GO FORTH AND LOVE EACH OTHER NOWLIKE OUR BOYS WOULD HAVE DONEWE'LL TEACH THE WORLD TO LOVE...[CONGREGATION]THE WORLD TO LOVE...[ALL]THE WORLD TO LOVE...[BOTH DADS OVERLAPPG WH NGREGATN]I LOVE MY AD GAY SON!MY SON! MY SON![CONGREGATION]NOT HALF BAD, YOUR AD GAY SON!WISH I HAD YOUR AD GAY SON!THANK YOU, DAD, FOR YOUR...[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION]DEAD! GAY! SON!5EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUT

And I remember hearg thgs growg up like 'AIDS is God's punishment for homosexualy' and that beg gay was a choice.

One of the first thoughts I had when I learned Jordan was gay was that everythg I thought a gay person was, he was none of those thgs. No apologi, please Havg a gay son, some people e up and they apologize, they're like "oh, I'm so sorry, that mt be awful.

I am a better person for havg a gay son. So when people apologize to me for havg a gay son, I say "please don't. " My life isn't hard and hard thgs don't happen bee I have a gay son.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY

It's how people treat me bee I have a gay son. The tight quarters revealed to one father that his son is gay, though the 20-year-old hasn't e out to him yet.

A Republin Congrsman told guts a speech at his gay son’s weddg that he was “rootg” for the newlywed uple -- a mere three days after he voted agast same-sex marriage. Dear Civili: My hband and I have a tween son whom we n easily image, one day, tellg that he is gay. I’m gog to take a page om my own fay’s playbook: Among my parents’ iends was a gay uple whom my folks regularly ved to dner along wh their straight iends.

A DEVOUT CHRISTIAN EXPRS UNWAVERG LOVE FOR HER GAY SON

The unspoken lson was simple: Gay people are like everyone else, and they had a seat at our table jt like everyone else. That msage was clear (and reassurg) to me as a young gay boy who was not yet out. My parents were servg their valu to all of along wh Mom’s chicken, the bt thg you uld do for your son will take place before the talk, and that's to be matter-of-fact about beg gay.

As Kenny Leve, a gay clil social worker, explaed to me: "To the extent that parents n clear out some of those worri ahead of time, mak much easier for them to be open about who they are.

Rourc: Parents might want to check out the two anizatns: PFLAG (Parents, Fai and Friends of Lbians and Gays), which has 350 chapters all 50 stat and is a great rource for parents of LGBTQ kids. GLSEN (the Gay, Lbian & Straight Edutn Network) is a leadg natnal tn anizatn foced on ensurg safe schools for all other week, Steven Petrow, the thor of "Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lbian Manners, " addrs qutns about LGBT and straight etiquette his lumn, Civili.

MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?

Picture this: your grandson has jt told you he’s gay.

When your grandchild choos to e out to you and be openly gay, may be the most urageo choice they will ever make.