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iame-embed"><div data-ttid="IameEmbedContaer" class="IameEmbedContaer-hptgUZ fXVBaX"><div class="IameEmbedAspectRatWrapper-hFVJps BKpgQ"><iame class="IameEmbedContent-cMdiev csnuAY IameEmbedContent lazyload" height="90" width="100%" sandbox="allow-scripts allow-same-orig allow-popups" tle="Embedd Frame" data-src=" allowfullscreen="" allow="toplay *; encrypted-media *; clipboard-wre; toplay; fullscreen; picture--picture"></iame></div></div></figure><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Before Brtany Howard was paid to make mic, she bagged groceri at a Kroger, sold ed rs, ma pizzas at a Domo’s, ied eggs at a Cracker Barrel, built ctom picture am, sucked up trash for a mercial sanatn pany, and livered the U.S. mail along a ral route northern Alabama, where she lived. She practiced wh her rock band, Alabama Shak, whenever she uld. “I would work thirteen hours at the post office, get off, and sh to rehearsal,” she told me.</p><p class="paywall">In 2012, Alabama Shak released their début album, “Boys & Girls.” Howard was twenty-three, and had never travelled outsi the South. Crics scrambled to praise the rerd; briefly seemed as if Howard, whose voice is both burly and tenr, a mixture of Robert Plant and Marv Gaye, might be able to sgle-handly rcate Amerin rock and roll. “Boys & Girls,” which was loose, open, and craggy, felt momento and aberrant. At the time, a good portn of the rock mic played on the rad—<a href=">Image Dragons</a>, Lk Park—was so nsely and fastidly produced, so airls and unrelentg, that listeng to felt like gettg whopped the face wh a snowball. “Boys & Girls” suggted a different way forward: was not whout potency, but drifted like a salty breeze.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p class="paywall">The album eventually sold more than a ln pi the Uned Stat. Howard spent several years on tour wh the band, an experience that she scribed as joyful and disorientg. “Right place, right time, and now all of a sudn I’m England—I’m eatg haggis!” she told me. “All of a sudn, I’m France—I’m eatg a snail!” Howard is a proud Southerner, yet she was eager to see the rt of the world. “In the ept re of me, when I go to my happy place, there are cidas the background, the air is humid, I smell barbecue, and there’s a tra nearby,” she said. “But I’d never seen a mounta before. I remember seeg the sert for the first time, the Wt Coast, the ocean. I was so exced about everythg.”</p><p class="paywall">Soon, Howard had attracted some very famo fans, cludg Pl McCartney and Barack and Michelle Obama. “Hold On,” the album’s first sgle, was nomated for three Grammy Awards and named the bt song of the year by <a href="><em>Rollg Stone</em></a>. The track gtur to the band’s Southern leage—there are echo of Duane Allman and Wilson Pickett <a href=">rippg on “Hey Ju”</a> at FAME Studs, Mcle Shoals, and a b of Ruf and Carla Thomas sgg “I Didn’t Believe” at Satelle Rerds, Memphis. In the pre-chos, Howard addrs herself: “Come on, Brtany / You got to get back up!” she bellows. It’s a small choice, g her name like that, but disarms me every time I hear . When Howard fally livers the full chos—“Yeah, you got to hold on!”—she’s sgg wh so much vigor and boldns that the lyric feels ls like a plea than like a nonnegotiable mand.</p><p class="paywall">Howard wrote “Hold On” while she was workg for the sanatn pany. “I was this ltle fuckg tck, gog to my job cleang mercial properti,” she said. “We ma CDs of our practic, and I put a CD , and jt started sgg the hook: ‘Hold on.’ ” The band had a gig booked at the Brick Deli & Tavern, a sports bar Detur, Alabama. Howard improvised the rt of the song onstage. When she arrived at the chos, the crowd began sgg along as if they had heard before, as if were a ver, as if they had known all their liv.</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Howard, who is now thirty-one, spls her time between Nashville, where she moved shortly after the succs of “Boys & Girls,” and Taos, New Mexi. She’s nsirg yet another relotn, possibly to the Wt Coast. She requir a certa amount of agatn to feel spired. “Once I start gettg fortable, I get <em>too</em> fortable. I like thgs to change,” she said. “I like thgs to move.”</p><p class="paywall">“Sound & Color,” Alabama Shak’ send rerd, om 2015, débuted at No. 1 on the <em>Billboard</em> 200 and was nomated for six Grammys, cludg Album of the Year. That year, the Brish pop sger <a href=">Ale</a> told the <em>Guardian</em> that she was “obssed” wh Howard: “She’s so fuckg full of soul, overflowg, drippg, that I almost n’t handle .” Prce ved the Shak to play at Paisley Park, and asked if he uld jo them onstage for a song. “It time to do ‘Give Me All Your Love,’ and I’m gettg worried, bee I don’t see this du,” Howard relled. “I step back om the mike, and then out of nowhere he jt pops onstage, people <em>lose</em> their mds, and he starts shreddg. <em>Shred-dg</em>. So I was, like, ‘I’m gonna double-shred wh you. When else am I gonna get to do this?’ Now we’re double-solog, and ’s as sick as sounds. It’s happeng, ’s psychelic, ’s amazg. And then he giv me a ltle kiss on the cheek, leaps like a baby fawn over all the amplifiers to the darkns, and I never saw him aga.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">When me time for Alabama Shak to produce a third album, the songs weren’t g. On a cross-untry drive, Howard stared blankly out the wdow. “I was stg there, silent, thkg to myself, What am I gonna do? What do I want?” she told me. The safe choice—stickg around Nashville and grdg out wh the band—didn’t feel right. “I’d rather make a few mistak and still be myself than be rich and bored,” she said.</p><p class="paywall">In 2017, Howard left Alabama Shak to make a solo album. “Everyone was, like, ‘No, don’t do that! You n do this on the si, but don’t ncel the Shak!’ ” she said. She ncelled the Shak. It requir a particular kd of bravura to untether onelf om a band that, to the outsi world, still appeared to be on the e-up.</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kKwZhx rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RponsiveCartoonWrapper-iTMMjI eXTYsS rponsive-rtoon AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset viewport-monor-anchor"><a class="external-lk rponsive-rtoon__image-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa RponsiveCartoonImage-hzNqyc ikeCcH rponsive-rtoon__image rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="Two men walk toward another man a vikg hat who's stg on a rock." class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></a><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE gdZTpI ptn RponsiveCartoonCaptn-dokfdF hJgaLQ rponsive-rtoon__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo bsWloa ptn__text">“I’m jt sayg would be a mistake for you to mock this guy.”</span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE iTuhkZ ptn RponsiveCartoonCred-bKlQqO faLAFb rponsive-rtoon__cred"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd iicloT bmQtfn ptn__cred">Cartoon by Frank Cotham</span></div><div class="RponsiveCartoonCTA-eiqqMB iDCQRs"><div class="RponsiveCartoonCTAWrapper-CYIqa iTbFtf"><div class="RponsiveCartoonLkButtonWrapper-hqDAJK eSEhbj"><button aria-label="Copy lk to rtoon" class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv YsOBB button button--primary-pair RponsiveCartoonInButton-hBCBMq lpsjql" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" type="button"><span 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20C8.48424 20 8.03652 19.5523 8.03652 19C8.03652 18.4477 8.48424 18 9.03652 18C9.58881 18 10.0365 18.4477 10.0365 19ZM11.0365 19C11.0365 20.1046 10.1411 21 9.03652 21C7.93195 21 7.03652 20.1046 7.03652 19C7.03652 17.8954 7.93195 17 9.03652 17C10.1411 17 11.0365 17.8954 11.0365 19ZM18.0365 19C18.0365 19.5523 17.5888 20 17.0365 20C16.4842 20 16.0365 19.5523 16.0365 19C16.0365 18.4477 16.4842 18 17.0365 18C17.5888 18 18.0365 18.4477 18.0365 19ZM19.0365 19C19.0365 20.1046 18.1411 21 17.0365 21C15.932 21 15.0365 20.1046 15.0365 19C15.0365 17.8954 15.932 17 17.0365 17C18.1411 17 19.0365 17.8954 19.0365 19Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button></div></div></div></span></div></figure><p class="paywall">“Jaime,” her solo début, which me out last fall, do not remble any album I n thk of, though do share some spirual DNA wh two of the bolst and most stylistilly sctable releas of the past century: “<a href=">Black Msiah</a>,” the third album by the R. & B. sger D’Angelo, and <a href=">Sly and the Fay Stone</a>’s “There’s a Rt Go’ On,” a psychelic-rock masterpiece om 1977. “Jaime” is ep, eaky, and heartfelt. Nearly all s songs feature some sort of heavy groove, but Howard often plit them by addg prickly guar riffs at unual tervals, foldg sampl, or puttg an effect on her voice that mak sound tny and distant, as if she’s sgg to the receiver of a rotary phone. “Jaime” is faiar enough that ’s easy to like—’s the sort of rerd people will immediately ask about if you put on durg a party—but is also tensely idsyncratic, and do not hew to any genre nstrats. At first, Howard wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted “Jaime” to sound like. “I’d be, like, ‘I thk I want to be like this?’ ” she said. “And then I’d hear some song and be, like, ‘No, I fely want to be like <em>that</em>.’ And then I’d hear another song, and ’d be: ‘Well, maybe more like this!’ ” She went to the stud anyway. “The songs showed up,” she said.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p class="paywall">When Howard first has an ia, she lik to rerd directly to her laptop. “The fancier sh stops me om workg fast, bee I have to turn everythg on,” she said. “I’d say my first three ias are ually the on I throw out, bee I’m <em>tryg</em> to wre.” She wrote “Geia,” her favore song on “Jaime,” while eatg a sandwich and readg an article about the experimental R. & B. mician <a href=">Geia Anne Muldrow</a>: “The song’s not <em>to</em> her, or <em>about</em> her, but I was, like, ‘Man, I wish Geia would work wh me!’ So I’m walkg around the hoe gog, ‘I jt want Geia / To notice me.’ ” Howard realized that the le was actually a chos, and choked the sandwich down. “I’m hearg everythg so sudnly, the most important thg is time,” she said.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR daRVRt persistent-asi" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="7zggil"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="6k9jf"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">Howard ma part of “Jaime” at a rented hoe Topanga Canyon, Los Angel. This past January, she returned to L.A. “History Repeats,” a sgle om the album, had been nomated for Grammys for Bt Rock Performance and Bt Rock Song, and at the ceremony Howard would be acpanyg Alicia Keys, who was hostg, on guar. Howard had rented a four-story glass-and-ncrete hoe Beverly Hills. One afternoon, she showed me around the place. The toilet the master bathroom rpond to voice mands. “Hello, toilet!” she yelled when we walked . The lid rose expectantly. The hoe was built to the si of a cliff, and a steep stone path led through a bamboo grove to a koi pond and a small boathoe. A pair of plastic lounge chairs sat by the pool.</p><p class="paywall">“When I’m L.A., du, I need a pool,” Howard said. She l a cigarette, and we cracked open the first of several ln ns of Whe Claw, the flavored alholic seltzer. I’d never had one before. “I’m gonna tell you one thg about them,” she said. Her voice grew ser. “They’ll sneak up on your ass!”</p><p class="paywall">Howard was wearg black legggs, slip-on sandals, a green T-shirt, and a black plaid button-down. A gold Libra medalln hung on a long cha around her neck. Howard has several tattoos, cludg two th black l that extend om the outsi rner of her left eye, toward her ear. Most celebri claim a kd of radil transparency, but Howard actually appears to be nstutnally pable of bullsh. She lghs heartily if anyone, cludg herself, says somethg dishont. “I’m an open book,” she told me, flickg ash to an empty Whe Claw n.</p><p class="paywall">Howard was born on October 2, 1988, Athens, Alabama, a cy of some twenty-six thoand people, about halfway between Nashville and Birmgham. Durg the Civil War, Athens was briefly occupied by Unn forc, and Colonel John Basil Turch gave his troops tac permissn to ransack the area, tellg them, “I shut my ey for two hours, I see nothg.” Ls than a century later, Athens was the birthplace of Don Black, the founr of the neo-Nazi Web se Stormont and a former Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. Origally a tton town, beme a railroad town. In 1974, the Tennsee Valley Authory opened the Browns Ferry Nuclear Power Plant, at the time one of the largt nuclear-power plants the world, nearby. “I grew up swimmg right behd a power plant, man,” Howard said. “We all did.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">Howard’s parents—her father is black, and her mother is whe—met high school, nearby Tanner. They got pregnant wh Howard’s olr sister, Jaime, who was born 1985, and married a few years later. As a kid, Howard had a hard time gettg iends to e over. “One, my parents were an terracial uple,” she explaed. “Two, I lived a junk yard.” Howard’s father took apart old rs for parts, and her fay set up a trailer the middle of the property. “My dad had to htle his whole life,” she said. “He was a black man, and he didn’t really get to go to llege. He’s really charmg, and good at talkg to people, so he went to the r-sale bs.” She scribed her mother as “very pastoral. She grew up on a farm. So around our trailer was grass and animals. And then around that was . . . the junk yard.”</p><p class="paywall">Both Howard and Jaime were born wh retoblastoma, a rare form of ncer that n lead to bldns; Howard has only partial visn her left eye. When Jaime was eleven, she beme serly ill. “She woke up one day, and she uldn’t see,” Howard said. “It was hospals, until got worse and worse and worse. Then was hospice. Then was over.” Howard was eight when Jaime died. Her parents divorced soon afterward. “I got shipped around to a lot of fay members, bee my parents didn’t want me to see what was gog on,” she said.</p><p class="paywall">Howard was trmatized by her sister’s ath: “I would see people jt beg themselv, and thk, What the fuck is <em>that</em> like? I’m over here panickg.” To blunt her sufferg, Howard ate. “In my hoehold, pecially on my father’s si, everybody’s overweight. I was gettg away wh for a really long time,” she said. “When I first started tourg wh the Shak, we’d get off of tour and I’d bge eat. I remember wakg up to a Hare’s bag, and beg, like, ‘Bro, enough is enough. This is not O.K.’ ”</p><p class="paywall">She also untentnally forswore timacy. “Everyone on the outsi was sayg, ‘You’re a sger a band, you’re really gregar, you’re really charmg,’ but my head, I was thkg, Nah, I’m a fat-wad. Nah, nobody wants to be wh me.” On the tle track om “Sound & Color,” Howard sgs, “I want to touch a human beg / I want to go back to sleep.” Her voice sounds high and th. Eventually, splters wh longg.</p><p class="paywall">Howard me out when she was her twenti, followg a perd of ser self-terrogatn. She hadn’t enuntered many openly gay people growg up. “When I lived Athens, gay people looked a certa way, and I didn’t look like them,” she said. “Then, when I went to the cy, I was, like, ‘Oh! There’s actually not a look.’ And they were <em>happy</em>. The gay people where I was om were very sad and heartbroken.” Howard told her parents about her sexualy a few years ago. At first, her mother wasn’t sure what to make of . “Then she realized, O.K., I have one dghter left, and I’m not gonna abandon her,” Howard said. “My dad did not give one sh. He do not re at all.”</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="qflxs"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">A few years ago, Howard met the mician and wrer <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Jse Lafser</a> through mutual iends Nashville. They started playg together a folk-rock band lled Bermuda Triangle. “I went to the fuckg doctor when I first met Jse,” Howard said, lghg. “My palms were sweaty, and my heart wouldn’t stop beatg really fast. I was panickg. My stomach was flippg. I thought I had diabet. The doctor was, like, ‘You’re fe.’ Then one of my iends was, like, ‘You’re love!’ ” She and Lafser were married last year, outsi Taos: “We were stg a rtrant we always go to, and I was, like, ‘Oh, they do weddgs! Should we get married right now?’ So we got married on a mounta, next to a stream.”</p><p class="paywall">Durg the wrg and the rerdg of “Jaime,” Howard often rpond to uncertaty and fear by prayg to her sister. “I feel like, a weird way, we did together,” she said. Though Howard is not relig, the ia of God is often prent her songs. On “13th Century Metal,” her livery evok the hypnotic nc of <a href=">Gil Stt-Heron</a> and the Last Poets, but the lyrics (“I promise to love my enemy / And never bee that which is not God”) are remiscent of the fiery sermons rerd to 78-r.p.m. disks by erant black preachers the neteen-twenti. “I went to the stud, and I was, like, ‘Put some echo on my voice. Make sound really big,’ ” she said. She was thkg about the gravy and the edn of Mart Luther Kg, Jr., a vibe that she scribed as “llege mp.” The origal rerdg was eight mut long. “The reason I ll ‘13th Century Metal’ is bee that’s what sounds like to me,” she said. “The chords are very Gregorian, but ’s also <em>metal</em>—’s got rage .”</p><p class="paywall">As the sun began to fa, Howard and I attempted to jole Taylor Ann, Howard’s iend and assistant, to send more Whe Claws down to the pool the hoe’s ty elevator. Taylor Ann fally appeared person and announced that we had dnk them all. We went si, orred Thai food, and sunk to a large whe sectnal. On the flat-screen televisn, Howard cued up a seemgly fe pilatn of YouTube vios showg people beg walloped the genals. An A.T.V. sd to a gully, lnchg s driver heavenward. His crotch llid wh the steerg wheel. “Bro!” Howard screamed, and lghed.</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Howard started sgg when she was three years old. Her great-uncle played bluegrass, and he often ved micians over to jam his woodshop. “I me there one night, and they hand me a microphone,” Howard said. “I remember all the grown untry men, lghg and beg entertaed and givg me so much attentn. I loved .” Her great-uncle started leavg a guar her bedroom. When she was eleven, a rock band performed at the high-school gym, and she immediately knew how she wanted to spend the rt of her life. She began teachg herself how to play. “I had no optns, and I didn’t re about anythg else,” she said.</p><p class="paywall">Howard met the bassist Zac Cockrell when they were both high school. The guarist Heath Fogg and the dmmer Steve Johnson joed them 2009. Fogg pated ho, Johnson worked at the power plant, Cockrell had a job at an animal clic. “I uldn’t afford llege,” Howard said. “I didn’t get a loan. I was kd of put a posn where I had to, you know, hope for the bt.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">In 2011, Howard posted a song—“<a href=">You A’t Alone</a>,” a slow-burng R. & B. ballad—to ReverbNatn, a social-workg se for pennt micians. Jt Gage, the founr of the mic Web se Aquarium Dnkard, heard the song after a iend posted on Facebook. In a <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">short piece</a> for the se, Gage scribed Alabama Shak as “a slice of the real; an unhged, and as of yet unsigned, blu-based soul outf onted by a woman armed wh a whole lotta voice and a Gibson SG.” Gage also played the track on his rad show. “It felt pletely h and apart om the Zegeist of 2011,” Gage told me recently. “It seemed herently out of time—nothg lculated, no retro pastiche. It jt was.”</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kKwZhx rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RponsiveCartoonWrapper-iTMMjI eXTYsS rponsive-rtoon AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset viewport-monor-anchor"><a class="external-lk rponsive-rtoon__image-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa RponsiveCartoonImage-hzNqyc ikeCcH rponsive-rtoon__image rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="A man on a uch plas to a woman about not beg able to read his own md." class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></a><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE gdZTpI ptn RponsiveCartoonCaptn-dokfdF hJgaLQ rponsive-rtoon__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnText-bHjzlu iUEiRd hWyo bsWloa ptn__text">“How should I know what I’m thkg? I’m not a md rear.”</span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE iTuhkZ ptn RponsiveCartoonCred-bKlQqO faLAFb rponsive-rtoon__cred"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd iicloT bmQtfn ptn__cred">Cartoon by David Siprs</span></div><div class="RponsiveCartoonCTA-eiqqMB iDCQRs"><div class="RponsiveCartoonCTAWrapper-CYIqa iTbFtf"><div class="RponsiveCartoonLkButtonWrapper-hqDAJK eSEhbj"><button aria-label="Copy lk to rtoon" class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv YsOBB button button--primary-pair RponsiveCartoonInButton-hBCBMq lpsjql" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Copy lk to rtoon</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="in in-pylk" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Copy lk to rtoon</tle><g clip-path="url(#clip0_3732_178637)"><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M16.3488 10.5017C16.2107 10.7357 16.2926 11.035 16.5318 11.17C16.7709 11.3052 17.0767 11.225 17.2148 10.991L18.4648 8.87225C19.5694 7.00002 18.9139 4.60601 17.0007 3.52508C15.0875 2.44415 12.6412 3.08562 11.5366 4.95785L9.53657 8.34782C8.432 10.22 9.08751 12.6141 11.0007 13.6949C11.1888 13.8012 11.382 13.8908 11.5785 13.9642C11.7819 14.0403 12.0058 13.9485 12.1147 13.764C12.2794 13.4849 12.1103 13.1276 11.8083 12.9992C11.7041 12.9549 11.6014 12.9044 11.5007 12.8475C10.0658 12.0368 9.57417 10.2413 10.4026 8.83712L12.4026 5.44715C13.2311 4.04298 15.0658 3.56187 16.5007 4.37257C17.9356 5.18327 18.4272 6.97878 17.5988 8.38295L16.3488 10.5017ZM7.6526 13.4983C7.79067 13.2643 7.70873 12.965 7.46959 12.8299C7.23044 12.6948 6.92464 12.775 6.78657 13.009L5.53657 15.1278C4.432 17 5.0875 19.394 7.00068 20.475C8.91385 21.5558 11.3602 20.9144 12.4648 19.0422L14.4648 15.6521C15.5694 13.78 14.9139 11.3859 13.0007 10.305C12.8127 10.1988 12.6195 10.1091 12.4229 10.0357C12.2195 9.95975 11.9956 10.0515 11.8867 10.236C11.7221 10.5151 11.8911 10.8724 12.1932 11.0008C12.2973 11.0451 12.4 11.0956 12.5007 11.1525C13.9356 11.9632 14.4272 13.7587 13.5988 15.1628L11.5988 18.5529C10.7704 19.957 8.93555 20.4382 7.50068 19.6274C6.0658 18.8167 5.57417 17.0212 6.4026 15.6171L7.6526 13.4983Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178637"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178637"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button><div class="AlertWrapper-gvFATk MdjE RponsiveCartoonLkAlertPopup-BPAXn kdMXRM shoppg-alert" role="dialog"><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertArrow-daOgye AlLda alert-arrow"></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm ifgabc cxFROy alert-msage"><p aria-hidn="te">Lk pied</p></div></div></div><button aria-label="Shop" class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ bqVKKv YsOBB button button--primary-pair RponsiveCartoonInButton-hBCBMq lpsjql" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Shop</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="in in-rt" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Shop</tle><g clip-path="url(#clip0_3732_178638)"><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M4 3H2V4H4.23828L6.99617 15.2631C7.11483 15.6982 7.50998 16 7.96094 16H18.0365C18.4875 16 18.8826 15.6982 19.0013 15.2631L20.9648 7.26312C21.1383 6.62698 20.6594 6 20 6H10V7H20L18.0365 15H7.96094L5.03652 3H4.58055H4ZM10.0365 19C10.0365 19.5523 9.58881 20 9.03652 20C8.48424 20 8.03652 19.5523 8.03652 19C8.03652 18.4477 8.48424 18 9.03652 18C9.58881 18 10.0365 18.4477 10.0365 19ZM11.0365 19C11.0365 20.1046 10.1411 21 9.03652 21C7.93195 21 7.03652 20.1046 7.03652 19C7.03652 17.8954 7.93195 17 9.03652 17C10.1411 17 11.0365 17.8954 11.0365 19ZM18.0365 19C18.0365 19.5523 17.5888 20 17.0365 20C16.4842 20 16.0365 19.5523 16.0365 19C16.0365 18.4477 16.4842 18 17.0365 18C17.5888 18 18.0365 18.4477 18.0365 19ZM19.0365 19C19.0365 20.1046 18.1411 21 17.0365 21C15.932 21 15.0365 20.1046 15.0365 19C15.0365 17.8954 15.932 17 17.0365 17C18.1411 17 19.0365 17.8954 19.0365 19Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button></div></div></div></span></div></figure><p class="paywall">When Howard woke up the next morng, her -box was packed wh entreati om managers and agents. The group didn’t have much time to nsir s next move. “We had to play this show Florence, Alabama, at a rerd store,” Howard said. Patterson Hood, the sger and guarist the Southern-rock band Drive-By Tckers, was the crowd that night. “There were maybe twenty-five people there at most, and they were playg through a ty vol P.A. wh no monors,” Hood remembered. “It was the most credible show I’d seen years. I was blown away.”</p><p class="paywall">Hood’s managers, Christe Str and Kev Morris, flew to Alabama the next morng. Howard woke up huner. “I slept a chair this ty-ass apartment,” she relled. Str and Morris asked to meet her at their hotel: “I get my mail r, and I drive to the Marrtt. I do not feel good, and I’m still my pajamas, and I have a ltle do-rag on my head. I looked around, and I didn’t see anybody that looked like they were om New York, so I went up to the bar and said, ‘I’ll have a beer please.’ And then they walked up. I was drkg a beer at 11 <em class="small">A</em>.<em class="small">M</em>., like, ‘Hey!’ ”</p><p class="paywall">The band signed wh Str and Morris and booked some dat openg for the Drive-By Tckers. Howard relled Morris llg her at the post office a few weeks later, explag that she uld leave her job soon. “I was, like, ‘Word? Can I get some money so I n qu right now?’ ” She sed. “I’m elated jt rememberg how good felt.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">Howard and I ma plans to meet Nashville late Febary. When she picked me up, a silver Audi S.U.V., heavy ra was peltg the cy. “I’ve been watchg the Doppler radar like an old lady,” she said. Ray Charl was playg on the stereo. A small photo of her and Jaime Halloween stum—she was drsed as the Devil, and Jaime was drsed as a clown—swung on a bronze cha danglg om her rearview mirror. We drove south, toward Athens.</p><p class="paywall">Shortly after we crossed the Tennsee-Alabama borr, a roadsi attractn me to view: a three-hundred-and-sixty-foot-tall repli of the Saturn V, a space rocket veloped at <em class="small">NASA</em>’s Marshall Space Flight Center, Huntsville, and ed the Apollo program the neteen-sixti and seventi. Howard pulled over so that I uld take a picture of . “I’ve done this drive so many tim, I don’t even notice anymore,” she said, while I crouched the wet grass, tryg to f the whole thg the ame.</p><p class="paywall">“My ltle home town!” Howard said, when we fally pulled to Athens. We cised past tton fields, Dollar General stor, and at least a dozen one-room Baptist church. The landspe is flat and, wter, credibly wet. Howard showed me the ponds where she fished for bream, and the spot on the Tennsee River where she and her iends would stand around drkg beer. We drove by the power plant. We drove by her mother’s hoe. We drove through downtown, past Cy Hall, where, 2007, the Ku Klux Klan held an anti-immigratn rally. Howard was neteen. “Here’s the thg,” she said. “Everybody showed up to get ’em out of town—<em>everybody</em> did.”</p><p class="paywall">Howard took me to a squat gray hoe bi the railroad tracks, built by her great-grandfather the neteen-forti. Her fay eventually sold , but when she was her late teens the new owners let some of her relativ move . “We didn’t have to pay rent, bee was so dilapidated,” she told me. “But I did have to cut the grass. So I would cut the grass, and then I got to live this ld-ass, fucked-up hoe.”</p><p class="paywall">We parked and walked the perimeter. “This ed to be surround by pen tre,” Howard said. She poted to Wht’s, a ltle barbecue shack next door: “I’d be so hungry, jt lookg at the place, smellg the barbecue, and they’d look at and give me a sandwich for ee.” Sometim, when she uldn’t pay the electric bill, she ran an extensn rd om Wht’s to their livg room. Adjtg to a life wh money has been a strange experience for Howard. “I still don’t act right,” she said. “This r is the first new r I’ve ever bought my life.” She add, “I’m not ugal, but, if I don’t need , I don’t need . Gucci this, Gucci that—I don’t buy that stuff.”</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="vad7h"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="2m9vv"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bDyAMU body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p class="paywall">Howard eventually moved out of the hoe by the railroad tracks, part bee she uld no longer tolerate s ghosts. “Oh, yeah, that bch hnted as hell!” she said. She reunted beg locked out of the hoe, bets openg and shuttg on their own, doors slammg, and curtas movg. “It was fuckg terrifyg,” she said. “I always had this sensatn that somebody was watchg me. I ran out of explanatns after a while.”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-4 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">We drove past a cemetery (“Hell, yeah! Thk’ about ath everyday!” she said, lghg), and down a long wood road toward the most hoe that she bought after the Shak took off—a brick spl-level wh “a big-ass basement.” (She sold a few years ago.) We ma a quick stop at J&G, a kd of general store that sells fake flowers, tools, strange knickknacks, and rative signs (“<em class="small">WHAT HAPPENS ON THE PATIO STAYS ON THE PATIO</em>”). Insi, we psed ont of a display of miature flags. “I’m proud of them for not havg any Conferate flags,” she said. “I appreciate that.” We strolled the aisl. Howard got a repli of a bream—“We ll ’em shellcracker,” she said—and a plastic banana. The woman at the register looked slightly dazed as Howard approached. “I didn’t realize a celebry had e !” she exclaimed.</p><p class="paywall">Howard wanted to show me a neighborhood known as Batts Heights. “This whole subdivisn is a black subdivisn,” she said. Her grandmother and some s still live there. She stopped at a sted trash n, which had the words “<em class="small">BATTS HEIGHTS SUB. HELP KEEP THE COMMUNITY CLEAN</em>!” hand-pated on yellow: “You know how some people got the big brick signs that say, like, ‘<em class="small">WELCOME TO RAM’s GATE’</em>? We’ve got that trash n! That’s probably the third or fourth trash n. People keep wreckg to ’em.”</p><p class="paywall">When Howard was young, her parents often dropped her off there to play wh her s. The kids were perdilly terrorized by a stray dog they referred to as Doody Booty. Sometim they ma ssette rerdgs on old boom box. “We’d do gangsta rap and ‘your mama’ jok,” Howard relled. “They were btal.” But she scribed the experience wh gratu. “At the end of the day, I’m really close to this si of my fay,” she said. “They accepted everybody for who they were. If you’re an alholic crackhead, you’re ved to dner, too!”</p><p class="paywall">Athens was a difficult place to be queer, mixed race, and, after her sister’s ath, mourng. She relled visg an amement park wh some of her mother’s relativ and havg the gate to a ri closed before she uld pass through— hadn’t occurred to the attendant that she might be part of a group of whe people. Once, someone slashed the tir of her father’s r and threw a bloodied goat head the back. She didn’t learn about the cint until she was fourteen, when her mother told her about . “I jt uldn’t believe someone would slghter a goat bee they hated someone so much,” Howard said. On “Goat Head,” she sgs:</p><blockquote class="BlockquoteEmbedWrapper-sc-SdiGL jPeLne paywall blockquote-embed"><div class="BlockquoteEmbedContent-RbGs gmbtPx blockquote-embed__ntent"><p>I gus I’m not supposed to md, ’e I’m brown, I’m not black<br/>But who said that?<br/>See, I’m black, I’m not whe<br/>But I’m that, nah, nah, I’m this, right?<br/>I’m one drop of three-fifths, right?</p></div></blockquote><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">In the late afternoon, we met Howard’s father, K.J., and her Promise at Old Greenbrier Rtrant, a cr-block barbecue jot on the outskirts of town. The menu was divid between Meals om the Pond (tfish) and Meals om the Barnyard (chicken, pork, hamburger steak). A wars brought several baskets of hh puppi and a bottle of whe sce. “We always did mic,” Promise said. “Brtany played dms, guars. She’d play the piano, and we sound like a <em>band</em>.”</p><p class="paywall">“They’d sg,” K.J. add, grng. “I remember Brtany went to the kchen, she got a big pot, a ltle pot, another ltle pot, she got a big spoon and”—he ma a seri of dmmg sounds—“Brtany! Put them pots up!”</p><p class="paywall">“We loved some mic,” Howard said, lghg. “It was ee!”</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kKwZhx rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RponsiveCartoonWrapper-iTMMjI eXTYsS rponsive-rtoon AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset viewport-monor-anchor"><a class="external-lk rponsive-rtoon__image-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa RponsiveCartoonImage-hzNqyc ikeCcH rponsive-rtoon__image rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="A person shouts out a wdow at their neighbor for touchg their face." class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 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20 17.0365 20C16.4842 20 16.0365 19.5523 16.0365 19C16.0365 18.4477 16.4842 18 17.0365 18C17.5888 18 18.0365 18.4477 18.0365 19ZM19.0365 19C19.0365 20.1046 18.1411 21 17.0365 21C15.932 21 15.0365 20.1046 15.0365 19C15.0365 17.8954 15.932 17 17.0365 17C18.1411 17 19.0365 17.8954 19.0365 19Z" fill="black"></path></g><fs><clipPath id="clip0_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath><clipPath id="clip1_3732_178638"><rect width="24" height="24" fill="whe"></rect></clipPath></fs></svg></div></button></div></div></div></span></div></figure><p class="paywall">After supper, we followed K.J. back to the junk yard. He driv a black pickup tck wh a license plate that reads “<em class="small">SHAKES</em>.” We crossed a ltle woon bridge over a small creek. One time, Howard got strand there durg a tornado, when the enge on her old Bron stalled. K.J. and his girliend were wh her, and Howard had to rry the woman to the other si. K.J. fell the creek and, for a brief moment, Howard thought he was gog to die. “I swear to God, the most guttural ‘Daddy!’ me out of me, om the pths of my spir,” she relled. “I thought he was, like, gone, bee I don’t know if my dad n swim that well. Somehow, he stood back up those floodwaters, and he jt kept gog.”</p><p class="paywall">The junk yard hadn’t changed much sce Howard lived there. Cars varyg stat of disrepair were stacked willy-nilly. Her father’s dog had recently given birth to a lter of puppi, and they whimpered softly om unr the hoe. Insi, K.J. had built a shre to his dghter: four Grammys, some gold rerds, a amed photograph of her wh the Obamas, taken after she performed at the Whe Hoe, 2013. K.J. has acpanied his dghter to the Grammys several tim. This year, he sat next to <a href=">Cardi B.</a> “I told her she was the sh!” he said. “She wasn’t iendly.” He had placed the floppy leather hat Howard wore her first photo shoot—a portra ma by Autumn Wil, the woods outsi the junk yard—on a mannequ’s head.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-5 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p class="paywall">On the way back to Nashville, we drove past the cemetery where Jaime is buried. “I’ll never fet this terview wh Roger Waters, where he said he asked his mother, ‘When do my life beg?’ And she was, like, ‘Anytime you want to.’ That always stuck wh me,” Howard said. “I was always tryg to figure out what the lady meant. What do you mean, anytime you want to?” She psed. “I feel like this part of my life is my Part Two. There was Part One, and now there’s this.”</p><p class="has-dropp has-dropp__lead-standard-headg paywall">One night January, Howard was appearg at the Palladium, a theatre Hollywood. As we ched down Sunset Boulevard the back of an S.U.V., she played air dms to Meg Myers’s ver of Kate Bh’s “<a href=">Runng Up That Hill</a>,” a fierce and propulsive song about the lims of empathy. Howard is all empathy on some level, but she also believ strongly acuntabily, particularly when to relatnships. I asked her if she leaned on Lafser for support when she returned om a tour. “To be hont, ’s not my partner’s rponsibily,” she said. “It’s my rponsibily to take re of myself before I e home.”</p><p class="paywall">Backstage, Taylor Ann brewed a pot of hot tea wh lemon, h gger, and mana honey. Members of Howard’s band, which clus Cockrell on bass, began to arrive. Durg the sound check, they rehearsed a ver of Funkalic’s “You and Your Folks, Me and My Folks.” Even when readg lyrics off her phone, Howard is a transfixg volist; she knows how to prs and extend a note a way that feels as if she’s squeezg all the juice om a piece of very ripe u.</p><p class="paywall">Howard gets nervo before a show only if her parents are the dience. Her performance style has evolved over the years. “When I was younger, was g om a place of <em>needg</em> to get everythg out,” she said. “Now om a place of beg a powerful person.” Early on, Alabama Shak had a sort of populist charm—they wore normal cloth and had normal haircuts, and seemed as if they uld have e om any high school any small town. Onstage, Howard was sometim sheepish. Now she is poised and liberate, wh an almost balletic nfince.</p><p class="paywall">The theatre’s V.I.P. balny filled up quickly: Slash, om Guns N’ Ros; the rapper <a href=">Tyler, the Creator</a>; the rock photographer Danny Clch. The mician and actor <a href=">Donald Glover</a>, who rerds as Childish Gambo, wore a yellow kn beanie and a mtache, and stood alone, croong along to the chos of “Stay High,” a sgle om “Jaime.”</p><p class="paywall">“Brtany is an alien,” Tyler, the Creator, told me later. “Everythg about her—om her mic to her background to her energy person—’s so unique. She’s pavg ncrete for so many people, and I’m not sure she’s even aware of .” He’s pecially enamored of “Baby,” a spare, stretchy song about betrayal. “It mak my cht hurt ’s so good,” he said. Howard was black pants, a black shirt, gold earrgs, eyeglass, and a long gold jacket. For her enre, she returned to the stage wh jt her dmmer and keyboardist to play “Run to Me,” the fal song on “Jaime.” “I wrote this for myself,” she said. “To say, ‘Hey, you got .’ ”</p><p class="paywall">That sentiment feels te of most of Howard’s songs, which are eher reassuranc (I’ve got ) or imploratns (Please believe that I’ve got , and that you’ve got , too). The chos of “Run to Me” is mostly the latter: Howard is askg someone to let her love them. She uld be sgg to herself—’s hard to say for sure.</p><p class="paywall">Many of the most beloved performers try to put as ltle distance as possible between themselv and their dience. Wh Howard, this kd of timacy seems stctive, part bee she is herently unpretent, and part bee she has spent so much time figurg out how to live whout shame. “A lot of people do sh bee they don’t know themselv,” she had told me earlier. “If you n jt kd of be <em>you</em>, you’re gonna be all right.” Onstage, her brow was damp. She leaned to the fal verse:</p><blockquote class="BlockquoteEmbedWrapper-sc-SdiGL jPeLne paywall blockquote-embed"><div class="BlockquoteEmbedContent-RbGs gmbtPx blockquote-embed__ntent"><p>Run, n, n, n, n to me<br/>Oh, n to me<br/>And I will be your partner<br/>When you n’t stand anymore. ♦</p></div></blockquote></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="qnfh"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK 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summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/magaze/2015/09/28/pop-for-misfs" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Pop for Misfs" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl ldWYvC summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Profil</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/magaze/2015/09/28/pop-for-misfs" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Pop for Misfs</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/magaze/2015/09/28/pop-for-misfs" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Pop for Misfs" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">Can a former noise mician bee a star?</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Kelefa Sanneh</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff hlYhBH summary-em summary-em--article summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eamwqR" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/magaze/2020/03/23/fna-appl-art-of-radil-sensivy" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Fna Apple’s Art of Radil Sensivy" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl ldWYvC summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Profil</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/magaze/2020/03/23/fna-appl-art-of-radil-sensivy" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Fna Apple’s Art of Radil Sensivy</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/magaze/2020/03/23/fna-appl-art-of-radil-sensivy" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Fna Apple’s Art of Radil Sensivy" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">For years, the elive sger-songwrer has been workg, at home, on an album wh a strikgly raw and percsive sound. But is she prepared to release to the world?</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Ey Nsbm</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff hlYhBH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eamwqR" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Bethany Cosento’s Songs of Self-Actualizatn" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl ldWYvC summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Pop Mic</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Bethany Cosento’s Songs of Self-Actualizatn</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Bethany Cosento’s Songs of Self-Actualizatn" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">On her solo album, “Natural Disaster,” the Bt Coast ont woman reckons wh old selv and personal transformatns.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Amanda Petsich</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff hlYhBH summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below-sktop-only summary-em--layout-posn-image-right summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eamwqR" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="If You Can Make Mic There, Could You Have Ma It Better Anywhere Else?" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl ldWYvC summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kImuKS bric bric--disvery SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN fYiFyD summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Dept. of Collaboratn</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM cZPaWG summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div class="SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ iIjKeM summary-em__hed" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">If You Can Make Mic There, Could You Have Ma It Better Anywhere Else?</div></a><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb USLvL summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jMoLpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="If You Can Make Mic There, Could You Have Ma It Better Anywhere Else?" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd jxOIpm cPtisA summary-em__k">To pete wh mic powerho like L.A., Atlanta, and Nashville, a pop producer started a New York songwrg mp, like speed datg for micians.</div><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY cgDBtc summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH dSEWiO byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd jslZfG gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Andrew Marantz</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eamwqR ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="jtc1d"></div></div></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridToActnWrapper-gnReGN eGayfk"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="TaboolaWrapper-hMVdpE iYfBhy"><div class="TaboolaWidgetWrapper-egPIjc hkSrgt 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gay shake weight

In my experience as a gay nutrnal ach, many gay men diet the wrong way to look sexy. Here's a way to weight loss that's good to your body.

Contents:

IF YOU’RE A GAY MAN, YOU’RE PROBABLY GOG ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS ALL WRONG

In my experience as a gay nutrnal ach and workg wh a lot of gay men as well as teractg wh 100s of gay men the muny, Many gay men are not good to their bodi when to losg weight and tryg to look sexier. I’ve seen some gay men practilly starve themselv, avoid rbs like the plague, and even live mostly on vodka, lime, and soda.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY SHAKE WEIGHT

If You're a Gay Man, You're Probably Gog About Weight Loss All Wrong .

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