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" /><meta name="robots" ntent="max-image-preview:large,max-snippet:-1,max-vio-preview:30" /><lk rel="apple-touch-in" href="/_assets/sign-tokens/menshealth/static/imag/" /><meta property="og:image" ntent="" /><meta property="og:image:width" ntent="1200" /><meta property="og:image:height" ntent="600" /><meta name="thumbnail" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent=" /><meta name="twter:image" ntent="" /><meta ntent=" property="og:url" /><meta name="to-publish" ntent="timely" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="article" /><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image" /><meta name="article:opn" property="article:opn" /><meta ntent="Sex & Relatnships" property="article:sectn" /><meta ntent="2021-11-02T01:03:53Z" property="article:modified_time" /><meta ntent="2019-10-18T13:00:00Z" property="article:published_time" /><meta name="sailth.excerpt" ntent="After years of wonrg if I uld ever be timate wh another man, I cid to hook up wh a du my hman year of llege. I figured this "bicur" thg clearly isn't a phase, sce I'd been thkg about for a few years. 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We're Here to Help!" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="e9l0kn00 css-10e6ywj e1c1bym14"><span emProp="name">So You're Feelg a Ltle Bicur. We're Here to Help!</span></a><meta emProp="posn" ntent="2" /></li></ol></nav><style data-emotn="css sgwfvb">{font-fay:GraphikConnsed,GraphikConnsed-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:normal;grid-lumn:1/-1;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:3rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.625rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.75rem;le-height:1.1;}} em, i{paddg-right:0.3125rem;}</style><h1 class="css-sgwfvb exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>So You're Feelg a Ltle Bicur. We're Here to Help!<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css gpc83z">{lor:#595959;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;marg-top:0.625rem;text-align:center;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.2;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#d2232e;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-gpc83z exadjwu8"><p>8 expert tips for explorg your sexualy. </p></div><style data-emotn="css 61aae5">{lor:#6F6F6F;display:le;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;letter-spacg:0.03rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.2;}} span{le-height:1.6;}</style><div class="css-61aae5 exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css l61bhe">{lor:#6F6F6F;display:le;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-style:normal;font-weight:bold;letter-spacg:0.03rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><addrs class="css-l61bhe ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css 1rxc7sd">{lor:#6F6F6F;display:le;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;letter-spacg:0.03rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><span class="css-1rxc7sd ehvvd9m1">By <style data-emotn="css 1nlla76">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#d2232e;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/15962/zachary-zane/" class="css-1nlla76 e1c1bym14">Zachary Zane</a></span><style data-emotn="css w0ebia">{display:le-block;text-transform:upperse;marg-left:0.625rem;}</style><time class="css-w0ebia exadjwu6">Published: Oct 18, 2019</time></addrs></div><style data-emotn="css wkpw2c">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><div class="no-prt css-wkpw2c exadjwu15"><style data-emotn="css 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k008qs">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;}</style><div class="css-k008qs ewisyje0"><style data-emotn="css 7ce51e">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{max-width:lc(100vw - (1rem * 2));marg-left:1rem;marg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(-1 * 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc((100vw - (lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 2 * 1rem)) / -2);}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem) and (max-width: 90rem){{max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / -2) - 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 2);max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 + 1rem)) / -2) - lc(2 * 1rem));}[data-has-sponsor] {marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);marg-right:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);}}</style><div class="standard-ntaer ntent-ntaer article-ntaer css-7ce51e ewisyje3"><style data-emotn="css trzem2">{jtify-self:center;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-left:-50vw;marg-right:-50vw;width:100vw;left:50%;right:50%;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead css-trzem2 ewisyje6"><style data-emotn="css sm2oir">{height:to;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg:to lc(50% - 50vw);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:to;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead-image css-sm2oir e5f9kgu2"><style data-emotn="css eag3eq">{posn:relative;height:to;}</style><div class="css-eag3eq e5f9kgu1"><style data-emotn="css 335qep">{posn:relative;width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;vertil-align:top;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="Male uple at home,foolg around, kissg and lghg" tle="Male uple at home,foolg around, kissg and lghg" width="5600" height="3733" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-335qep exi4f7p0" /></div><style data-emotn="css 285vyd">{le-height:1;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0;}}</style><figptn class="css-285vyd enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css 11z3u4d">{lor:#6F6F6F;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;letter-spacg:0.03rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><span class="css-11z3u4d e6iqd2">Ashley Corb-Teich</span><style data-emotn="css bcdrfk">{lor:#6F6F6F;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;letter-spacg:0.03rem;paddg:0 0.3rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><span class="css-bcdrfk e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-11z3u4d e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css z6i669">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-z6i669 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css 18vfmjb">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="body-text css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">After years of wonrg if I uld ever be timate wh another man, I cid to hook up wh a du my hman year of llege. I figured this "bicur" thg clearly isn't a phase, sce I'd been thkg about for a few years. The only way I uld know for sure if I was actually gay or bi was if tted the waters. </p><p data-no-id="1" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">So I did. Alas, I got so dnk orr to have the urage to hook up wh another man that I end up pg midway through our enunter. After the experience, I uld not tell you if I was gay or bi. Overall, the experience was "meh," like any really sloppy, dnken hookup regardls of genr. </p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">The thg is, I went about hookg up wh a guy all wrong. I had expectatns about what I should feel, still stggled wh ternalized homophobia, and didn't realize that sexualy is a spectm. I thk that's why I felt even more nfed after hookg up wh a guy. </p><p data-no-id="4" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Still, I'm glad I did explore, and did eventually lead me to embracg my sexualy, though took another five years. Neverthels, there were fely thgs I uld have done to better prepare myself for explorg sexually wh other men. Thgs I learned years after the fact. Now, wh the help of two sexualy experts, I'm gog to impart what I wish I knew and had done before (and after) hookg up wh my first guy. </p><style data-emotn="css ibml19">{font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;marg-top:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.1875rem;le-height:1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.375rem;le-height:1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.5rem;le-height:1;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><h2 data-no-id="5" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0">1. Start wh porn.</h2><style data-emotn="css 1rk79nl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;marg:0.9375rem 0 0 0.625rem;paddg:0 0 0 1.25rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:0.9375rem 0;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;} li{paddg-bottom:0.625rem;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} li::marker{lor:#323232;}</style><ol data-no-id="6" class="css-1rk79nl et3p2gv0"></ol><p data-no-id="7" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">You don’t need to jump headfirst to perative sex wh a man. Porn is a great way to explore your sir a manner that’s accsible and private. </p><p data-no-id="8" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">“As a startg pot for actg out sexual fantasi, many people turn to pornography bee offers a ‘safe’ way to explore, pecially if you’re a ltle aaid of actg out or don’t know how to go about ,” says <style data-emotn="css 38knzi">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.125rem;text-ratn-lor:#d2232e;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#000;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;background-lor:#F3B032;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}</style><a href=" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Dr. Jt Lehler" class="body-lk css-38knzi et3p2gv0">Dr. Jt Lehler</a>, rearch fellow at the Ksey Instute and thor <a href=" rel="nofollow" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Tell Me What You Want" data-vars-ga-product-id="53dd5ba5-f8b6-46d5-8d6f-0cfe75c62b80" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"29242643-49d1-404a-983c-85b499f0f894","se_id":"c7b9f75a-2f85-4251-a92e-dbc6c7213473","metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","metadata":{}}}" data-vars-ga-media-role data-vars-ga-media-type data-vars-ga-product-brand data-vars-ga-product-price="$10.99" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="9bdc6e31-a3ce-458c-9a4c-adb31929b696" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand data-vars-ga-product-sem3-tegory="Interpersonal Relatns" data-vars-ga-gallery-id data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="(not set) | (not set)" class="body-lk product-lks css-38knzi ebsw2pb0"><em>Tell Me What You Want</em></a>.</p><p data-no-id="9" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">For bicur men specifilly, Lehler not there are plenty of pornos out there which feature bicur them. “So that’s probably the easit startg pot for gettg a sense of what you do and don’t like,” he says.</p><h2 data-no-id="10" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0">2. Move to apps and chat rooms. </h2><p data-no-id="11" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">"Apps and chat rooms g sextg and vio chats are great ways to explore how you feel about engagg sexually wh men before jumpg to the ep end and schlg your first hook-up," says <a href=" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Jor-El Caraballo" class="body-lk css-38knzi et3p2gv0">Jor-El Caraballo</a>, a licensed mental health profsnal who works largely wh LGBTQ+ clients. It allows you the opportuny to engage wh other men sexually whout <em>dog</em> anythg IRL. (Grdr and Scff are two good <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="apps" class="body-lk css-38knzi et3p2gv0">apps</a> to e.) </p><h2 data-no-id="12" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0">3. Have a bisexual MMF threome. </h2><p data-no-id="13" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">If after watchg some bi/gay porn and talkg to some dus on apps/chat rooms, you’re thkg to yourself, <em>alright, I thk I uld potentially be to this</em>, might be time to nsir havg a threome wh a woman and another man. In Lehler’s rearch on sexual fantasi, he’s found that a lot of bicur guys report fantasi about mixed-genr threom. “I thk the appeal of this scenar is that seems ls timidatg than hookg up wh jt another guy,” he says. “A lot of bicur guys worry about what means for their sexualy if they experiment wh another guy, so beg able to explore that wh a woman prent might make ls timidatg.”</p><style data-emotn="css 8c6v">{posn:absolute;left:-10000px;top:to;width:1px;height:1px;overflow:hidn;}</style><div data-ad-exclu class="css-8c6v ehha8ut0">This ntent is imported om poll. You may be able to fd the same ntent another format, or you may be able to fd more rmatn, at their web se.</div><div data-embed="poll" data-no-id="14" class="embed css-0 ektkw391"><style data-emotn="css 1d3w5wq">{width:100%;}</style><div height="150" class="css-1d3w5wq ektkw390"></div><style data-emotn="css vaxtlc">{borr:none;overflow:hidn;}</style><iame id="poll-15dd8d4f-2d39-48ef-aea3-8258a1c23e80_0c202e85bc788" tle="Poll ntent" height="150" width="100%" aria-hidn="te" data-src=" class="poll lazyload css-vaxtlc ektkw392"></iame></div><h2 data-no-id="15" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0">4. Work on rcg ternalized shame.</h2><p data-no-id="16" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Explorg bi-cursy isn't jt gettg out there and dog wh another guy. “It's important for men to unrstand that we live sex-phobic and homophobic culture that helps shape what we see as possible for ourselv and our sir,” says Jor-El. This means that we first have to explore how much of our reluctance might be attributed to cultural attus and how much of is solely our rponsibily. “Namg that societal homo- and bi-phobia first is an important step,” he says. </p><h2 data-no-id="17" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0"><strong>5. Edute yourself. </strong></h2><style data-emotn="css 1iigb5k">{clear:none;posn:relative;text-align:center;word-break:break-word;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{max-width:100%;}{max-width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{text-align:left;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:m(20.625rem, lc((100vw - (1rem * 3))/2));float:left;marg-left:0rem;marg-right:1rem;}{max-width:m(20.625rem, lc((100vw - (1rem * 3))/2));float:right;marg-right:0rem;marg-left:1rem;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem) and (max-width: 90rem){{max-width:20.625rem;float:left;clear:left;marg-right:1rem;}{max-width:20.625rem;float:right;clear:right;marg-left:1rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{max-width:20.625rem;float:left;clear:left;marg-right:1rem;}{max-width:20.625rem;float:right;clear:right;marg-left:1rem;}}</style><div data-ad-exclu="(m-width: 90rem)" data-embed="embed-product" data-no-id="18" size="medium" class="size-medium align-left embed css-1iigb5k etrqhn80"><style data-emotn="css 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data-affiliate-work="{"id":"29242643-49d1-404a-983c-85b499f0f894","se_id":"c7b9f75a-2f85-4251-a92e-dbc6c7213473","is_active":te,"metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","is_active":te,"bs_un_id":"ad046b46-538b-42cb-aa54-c3d158875ed6","tails":"","metadata":{},"created_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241365+00:00","last_updated_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241381+00:00"}}" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="$9 at Amazon" data-vars-ga-media-type="Sgle Product Embed" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-product-brand="Avery Publishg Group" data-vars-ga-product-id="1021ea11-89c4-4445-b617-1a612550c4a0" data-vars-ga-product-price="$8.99" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="f679525b-1fbc-431f-bfbb-52542725480c" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand="Brené Brown" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-tegory="Books" data-vars-ga-gallery-id data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="sale | On Sale" data-vars-ga-sku="1592408419" data-vars-ga-magento-trackg="1" role="button" data-ab-label="ProdClick" class="product-btn-lk en6kra60 css-15xqw e1c1bym14">$9 at Amazon</a></div></div></div></div><p data-no-id="19" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">One of the biggt ways to rce ternalized shame and to better unrstand how your sexualy might not be bary or stagnant (meang, specifilly, that you're not always exclively gay or straight) is to te yourself about sexualy. Alas, sex tn leav que a few thgs to be sired here the Uned Stat (and abroad, too). Instead of discsg how we e to form our sexual inty, some sex-ed class never get beyond ndoms on cucumbers—or teach abstence-only curriculum. </p><p data-no-id="20" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">"Bee we live a culture that has [negative] perspectiv on bisexualy and same-sex attractn, 's important to ga exposure to alternative perspectiv," Jor-El says. There are two books particular Jor-El tends to remend to his clients. The first is Brene Brown's <em>Darg Greatly</em>,<em></em> which tackl shame rilience. The send is sexologist Dr. Chris Donaghue's book <em>Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture.</em> </p><h2 data-no-id="21" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0">6. Regnize you might not have a big “aha” moment. </h2><p data-no-id="22" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">When I got to llege, I cid I was gog to fally explore my same-sex attractns that had been gnawg at me for the past few years. Whout gog to too many tails (you n read about my full experience <a href=" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="here" class="body-lk css-38knzi et3p2gv0"><u>here</u></a>), I left that first enunter feelg even more unsure of my sexual inty. I thought I was gog to have this big “aha” moment. I’d kiss his lips and immediately realize, “Woah… I’m gay. I’ve never felt like this when I've been wh women.” Or would bee crystal clear I fely wasn’t to men. Neher happened. In fact, I me to the ncln after the experience that I was straight, and took me another five years of hookg up wh men to embrace the fact that I am bisexual. </p><div data-ad-exclu="(m-width: 90rem)" data-embed="embed-product" data-no-id="23" size="medium" class="size-medium align-right embed css-1iigb5k etrqhn80"><div id="product-cb65008b-a62b-4b70-bbf0-0972aa20730c" class="css-17pp2fn etrqhn81"></div><div size="medium" class="size-medium align-right css-60ezry eyaokey4"><div class="top css-10ck1xh eyaokey2"><h2 class="css-1w0ksf0 e8seki10">Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture</h2></div><a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" href=" aria-label="$25 at Amazon for Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"29242643-49d1-404a-983c-85b499f0f894","se_id":"c7b9f75a-2f85-4251-a92e-dbc6c7213473","is_active":te,"metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","is_active":te,"bs_un_id":"ad046b46-538b-42cb-aa54-c3d158875ed6","tails":"","metadata":{},"created_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241365+00:00","last_updated_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241381+00:00"}}" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="$25 at Amazon" data-vars-ga-media-role data-vars-ga-media-type="Sgle Product Embed" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-product-brand="BenBella Books" data-vars-ga-product-id="cb65008b-a62b-4b70-bbf0-0972aa20730c" data-vars-ga-product-price="$24.95" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="52f3bb96-3be3-4623-9992-9c3591a954b9" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand="BenBella Books" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-tegory="Datg" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="(not set) | (not set)" data-vars-ga-sku="1940363780" data-vars-ga-magento-trackg="1" class="product-image-lk eyaokey0 en6kra60 css-15xslai e1c1bym14"><div class="css-zjhp4x e729n7u1"><div data-optimizely="product-image-ntaer" class="css-1pc0key e729n7u0"><img srcSet=" 640w, 980w" alt="Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture" tle="Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture" src="" width="335" height="500" dg="async" loadg="lazy" /></div></div></a><div size="medium" class="css-y6pcxk eyaokey1"><div class="css-10ck1xh eyaokey2"><h2 class="css-1w0ksf0 e8seki10">Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture</h2></div><div size="medium" class="size-medium css-12bdcfv e1a1omje0"><a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" href=" aria-label="$25 at Amazon for Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"29242643-49d1-404a-983c-85b499f0f894","se_id":"c7b9f75a-2f85-4251-a92e-dbc6c7213473","is_active":te,"metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","is_active":te,"bs_un_id":"ad046b46-538b-42cb-aa54-c3d158875ed6","tails":"","metadata":{},"created_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241365+00:00","last_updated_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241381+00:00"}}" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="$25 at Amazon" data-vars-ga-media-type="Sgle Product Embed" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-product-brand="BenBella Books" data-vars-ga-product-id="cb65008b-a62b-4b70-bbf0-0972aa20730c" data-vars-ga-product-price="$24.95" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="52f3bb96-3be3-4623-9992-9c3591a954b9" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand="BenBella Books" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-tegory="Datg" data-vars-ga-gallery-id data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="(not set) | (not set)" data-vars-ga-sku="1940363780" data-vars-ga-magento-trackg="1" role="button" data-ab-label="ProdClick" class="product-btn-lk en6kra60 css-15xqw e1c1bym14">$25 at Amazon</a></div></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="24" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0"><strong>7. Talk to a therapist.</strong> </h2><p data-no-id="25" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">As always, n be helpful to explore this the safe space of therapy. "Wh a LGBTQ+ affirmg therapist, you n talk through aspects of your sexualy that seem dntg or ighteng to al wh on your own," Joe-El says. "This space will give you the secury of a nfintial and non-judgmental space where you n make your own cisns about what works bt for you whout outsi prsure."<br /></p><p data-no-id="26" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Personally, seeg a therapist was the most helpful thg when me to explorg and eventually embracg my same-sex attractns. By the end of my third ssn, I began llg myself bisexual. </p><h2 data-no-id="27" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0"><strong>8. You n try , not like , and you're still straight. </strong></h2><p data-no-id="28" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">There's this notn that if you so much as kiss a man once, you mt be gay or bisexual. This mak particularly sry and seemgly "bdg" when you explore. You fear that if you experiment, and don't like , people will wrongfully assume you're closeted. You fear that mors surroundg your sexualy will hnt you for the rt of your life, but here's the tth about experimentg: If you e to the ncln after hookg up wh a guy that you're straight, then you are jt as straight as a du who's never experimented. One sexual act do not fe your entire inty. Perd.</p><p data-no-id="29" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Now if you're someone like me, who to realize, oh yeah, I really n get down hookg up wh other men, then wele to the club, my du. Your world is about to get a hell of a lot more fun. </p><style data-emotn="css 1v2eakg">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:90%;}}{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:95%;}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:75%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:65%;}}</style><div data-no-id="30" data-teractive="VioPlayer-1" class="embed aspect-rat-16x9 css-1v2eakg e3dq3y0"><style data-emotn="css 1ui7hop">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css 1iiivv4">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;top:50%;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-1iiivv4 e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in

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The only way I uld know for sure if I was actually gay or bi was if tted the waters. After the experience, I uld not tell you if I was gay or bi.

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If after watchg some bi/gay porn and talkg to some dus on apps/chat rooms, you’re thkg to yourself, alright, I thk I uld potentially be to this, might be time to nsir havg a threome wh a woman and another man. “It's important for men to unrstand that we live sex-phobic and homophobic culture that helps shape what we see as possible for ourselv and our sir, ” says Jor-El. “Namg that societal homo- and bi-phobia first is an important step, ” he says.

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