Gay Men and Straight Men as Friends | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• AM I GAY?
• HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
• CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
• HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS
• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• BT GAY DATG APPS FOR HOOKUPS, RELATNSHIPS, AND EVERYTHG BETWEEN
• KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIEND

HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI

In some of my most sperate hours for gay bondg, I’ve attend LGBTQ+-themed therapy groups my area. Outsi of LGBTQ+-specific meetups, a great way to fd LGBT iendships is actually by attendg meetups that gay people typilly like. I noticed today a post exprsg irratn that "historians" engage LGBTQ+ erasure by refg to acknowledge that var historil figur (or characters om historil lerature) were "gay, " etc..

B) The history of sexualy and genr is plited and 's rarely rrect for a historian to simply say: "yup, this person was gay/lbian/trans. You may want to know if your iend is gay, but there may be a good reason why they're stayg closeted.

For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to. If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women. Another important thg to remember is that 's not very important whether or not he's gay.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

One of the theori about why some people are gay has to do wh the hormon that they're exposed to before they're born. The hormone exposure levels may manift actual, physil ways which n be a vague ditor that a guy might be gay.

It is possible that your guy iend is not gay but stead falls somewhere else on the Ksey sle of unirns and awomens. Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge. Everyone n enjoy different thgs; jt like a woman might enjoy watchg football, guys n also enjoy thgs that are more monly associated wh women or the gay muny.

AM I GAY?

The movi he watch and the mic he listens to are also not fair methods to gge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and Gee Takei put together. There's the stereotype that if a guy is a good drser or if he spends a bunch of time on his hair, he's gay. Sometim you might assume that jt bee a guy only hangs out wh girls or jt bee his bt iend also seems gay, then he might also be gay.

Subtly brg up subjects that show him that you're okay wh your iends beg gay and that he don't need to hi his nature around you.

You n talk about another iend that is gay or even jt about someone hypothetilly g out if you don't know someone who's gay. He do a great job of showg people that there's more to gay people than all those offensive stereotyp. But if he is gay, he will probably tell you once he's fortable and feels like he tsts you.

HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY

This is the bt way to fd out if someone is gay and much ls offensive than makg assumptns about them. Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay? Article SummaryXTo tell if your guy iend is gay, notice whether he refers to other guys as attractive, which uld be a sign that he’s gay.

Pay attentn to how much he talks about women a romantic or sexual way, sce a lack of tert women uld suggt he’s gay. For stance, say somethg like, “Not that I md eher way, but I was jt wonrg whether you're gay? I’ll never fet beg 15 years old and walkg to my first ever meetg for lbian, gay, bi, queer, and trans youth at BAGLY Boston.

”) The close queer iends we make bee a chosen fay, wh a shared culture and inty, formg the bonds that are sential to our wellns and as gay bars and bookstor are closg left and right, many of have turned to apps to fill that gap, meang we spend more time than ever alone our rooms.

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

LGBT2Q people exist all genrs, all cultur, and relyg on your gaydar is a good start, but expandg your queer and trans cultural referenc will boost your abili. Instagram and Twter make easier to fd other people wh the same terts, whether ’s hedgehogs or aerosol art, and there are so many homo-tastic hashtags. Try #QueerStyle, #BlackTransExcellence, #QueerFemme, #LbianMem, #BiLove, #GenrEuphoria, #Gaysian, #LGBTTikTok.

HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS

Or, add your inty to your state, school, or profsn to fd #GayMichigan or #QueerMorehoe or #TransUtah or #PansexualUK and more. That may be surprisg news if you’ve been raised a homophobic branch of your relig tradn, but I promise you—they’re out there, and they n’t wa to wele you (and you may fd really healg to brg your whole self to your fah tradn).

Here are some lks to lists of affirmg (that’s the relig buzzword for “we like the gays here”) anizatns:. Check out Unlikely Hikers, which specifilly wel and celebrat people who don’t f the classic Patagonia profile cludg fat folks and hikers of lour; Venture Out Project, which is n by and explicly wel trans people; Gay SCUBA Week and Queer Paddlers; and basilly what I’m sayg is that if you want to be out and Out there are fely other ‘mos to do wh your area. If you’re newly sober or revery and tryg to avoid plac, people, or patterns that may not be healthy for you right now, a gay AA or other revery meetg might be a double-w for you: support on your path and a boost for your new social life.

(Mis)e hookup apps wh gay be clear, a happy, healthy, nsentg hookup is a thg of bety. ” or “What a great lor story, ” ’s extremely likely they’re sayg HELLO I AM ALSO QUEER AND/OR TRANS AND I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO don’t be fooled if someone don’t “look gay. We’re everywhere and we look like anyone and also please don’t ntribute to the ia that there’s one way to look gay, ol?

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

They’ll troduce you to their nonbary , their gay office iend, the trans girl their PhD hort, or whomever. Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr. Sce genr inty and sexual orientatn are separate, transgenr people n intify as straight, gay, lbian, bisexual, etc.

For a long time, iendships between gay men and straight men – what some now ll “bromosexual” iendships – were unmon.

Homophobia was likely one reason; another was that straight men probably assumed they didn’t have much mon wh gay men. Specifilly, we’re terted lookg at the reasons gay men and straight men bee iends (or rema iends after the gay iend out).

BT GAY DATG APPS FOR HOOKUPS, RELATNSHIPS, AND EVERYTHG BETWEEN

We currently have a survey vtigatn unrway that explor some of the posive out of “bromosexual” iendships, cludg our theory that gay men and straight men n be optimal wg men for one another.

KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIEND

Many straight men hated to beiend gay men, fearg harassment, rejectn om their straight iends or beg lled gay.

Gay men – particularly those nservative and ral environments – rema wary about tryg to beiend straight men, fearg prejudice-fueled rejectn. At the same time, many straight men still doubt that they’ll be able to relate to gay men any meangful way and, for this reason, may not try to iate a iendship. Of urse, the tradnal notn that gay men and straight men nnot be close iends is herently homophobic and unte.

We propose gay-straight male iendships are not only possible, but that they n grow to be extremely rewardg. If they’re open-md about beiendg gay men and make the effort to try to fe iendships based upon mon terts, gay men should feel more fortable reciprotg. Gay men who disclose their sexual orientatn to their straight male iends earlier life may be able to build more open and hont iendships wh them to adulthood.