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data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp eiGjZk"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT tPofh"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX gPBNpL bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU cwyjHY bric__lk" href="/culture"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jdcWfa isouMH">Billy Graham Ma Queer Liv Hell on Earth</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eijTxK">For queer people and survivors of nversn therapy like me, Billy Graham was far more than a plited man — he was an advote for our torture.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 80w" siz="66px"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 90w" siz="66px"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH hdWCIC byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd bCbgyH gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd hSmufO skIR eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/garrard-nley">Garrard Conley</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2018-02-22T17:13:45-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd dCoEhu bDGyxQ">Febary 22, 2018</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"><li class="SocialInsListItem-mbhR fxaFQj social-ins__list-em social-ins__list-em--twter social-ins__list-em--standard"><a aria-label="Share on Twter" class="external-lk SocialInExternalLk-huuzOU blkfJb social-ins__lk social-ins__lk--twter" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><div 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data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"mailto:?subject=Billy%20Graham%20Ma%20Queer%20Liv%20Hell%20on%20Earth&" href="mailto:?subject=Billy%20Graham%20Ma%20Queer%20Liv%20Hell%20on%20Earth& rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><div class="SocialInContaer-huXzUC pMzVC social-ins__in-ntaer"><svg class="SocialInNetworkInComponent-cZaKGz dlOAhZ in in-email" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><tle>Email</tle><path d="M6 23h20V9H6v14zm3.631-12H22.37l-6.368 5.661L9.631 11zM24 12.227V21H8v-8.773l8.002 7.109L24 12.227z" fill-le="evenodd"></path></svg></div></a></li></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bectqB body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>There is a loose work among my LGBTQ+ iends, one that pops up when a proment figure whose well-known stance agast our muny sudnly di. Our group chats ver a wi range of reactns, om shock to relief to joy. We share mem, make jok, reveal trma; we make a space for ourselv, other words, where we n dishonor the ad who once jured whout censure. The last big figure to blow up my notifitns was <a href=">Joseph Nilosi</a>, one of the clil psychologists rponsible for the creatn of nversn therapy, a treatment I and many others were forced to unrgo at a young age. Now ’s Billy Graham, a much-ld evangelist whose <a href=">reputatn as our untry’s last great morate</a> has eclipsed his history of homophobia.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>Recently, when I <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ma this private nversatn public</a>, many people outsi the LGBTQ+ muny wanted proof of Graham’s bigotry. Nilosi was an easy villa, but Graham? Weren’t my pury polics gettg the way of regnizg this plited man’s good eds, which, after all, extend <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">all the way back</a> to the begng of the civil rights movement?</p><p>As someone who equently lectur on the power of empathy and hont dialogue, the accatn offend me. Of urse I know Graham was plited, like all human begs are. I know that, when pared to someone like Jerry Falwell or even his <a href=">fundamentalist son Frankl Graham</a>, Graham looks posively progrsive. Yet I also know that he was rponsible for an lculable amount of psychic and physil damage to the LGBTQ+ muny, and that his <a href=">explic endorsement of nversn therapy</a> ed not only my childhood but the <a href=">liv of hundreds of thoands</a> of others. A few good eds do not ncel out this harm. One 2005 <a href=">terview wh the New York Tim</a> statg his sire to steer clear of “hot-button issu” such as homosexualy and abortn do not reverse the statements he’s ma the past agast our muny.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Why is that when I brg up the harm some celebrated public figure has ed me, I’m told I’m not regnizg that person’s full humany, that I’m not rpectg the ad? Why do that sound a lot like beg told to shut up? There’s a reason I don’t ually take the nversatns out of private group chats. Yet as someone who has felt Graham’s legacy nearly every aspect of my life, this is one stance I feel pelled to speak out agast the veneratn of this man.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="hs0n6n"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="47ofje"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bectqB body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>I pot to to his <a href=">1974 letter</a> to a young lbian an advice lumn he once mataed, which he blam morn society for “sexual perversns” and advot for nversn therapy. Others who were guilty of the s of homosexualy were “nverted — were regenerated by fah Christ,” he wr her. “Such rtoratn is possible for you.” Or to the time 1993 that he <a href=">told an dience</a> of over 44,000 people that he thought AIDS was a “judgment om God,” which he later retracted, or to his <a href=">2012 endorsement</a> of a North Carola anti-marriage equaly nstutnal amendment (though some spected that, given his advanced age, his son Frankl Graham was primarily rponsible for this stance). But most signifintly, like many LGBTQ+ dividuals who grew up nservative hoeholds, I pot to my own backyard.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="tal1qb"></div></div><p>In 2003, when my Baptist parents were searchg for a cure for my homosexualy, they had only a few sourc they tsted to gui them their cisn-makg procs. One was the Bellevue Baptist Church Memphis, which was heavily affiliated wh the Billy Graham Evangelistic Associatn; the other was Graham himself, who was by far the most tsted lear the evangelil Christian muny at the time. Both sourc poted to a cure for homosexualy. On the Billy Graham Evangelistic Associatn webse, <a href=">datg as far back as January 2001</a> and <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">still today</a>, the qutn of homosexualy is addrsed multiple tim, and a cure is offered: “God not only wants to protect you om homosexual behavr, but He wants to beg to meet the ep needs at the root of your same-sex sir,” once said. The se went on to suggt ntactg Exod Internatnal, the largt nversn therapy umbrella group at the time, or Homosexuals Anonymo. In s current versn, the se still remends readg a book on the gay cure.</p><p>My parents enrolled me nversn therapy ssns that the past had ed electroshock therapy, and ed a form of psychologil torture while I was there, and the years that followed my parents and I had a difficult time g to terms wh why, exactly, we had all agreed that I should attend them. For my father, whom I pared to Billy Graham my memoir, the answer n bt be found <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Graham’s own words</a>: “Let me say this loud and clear!” he wrote to another young woman his advice lumn. “We traffic homosexualy at the peril of our spirual warfare.” Every time my father, who was beg a preacher at the time of my outg, nsulted a church lear, he found them repeat the same “loud and clear” msage. My mother, married at sixteen, had been tght to listen to my father, so there was no room for disagreement. For many Christians like ourselv, the patriarchal cha end at Billy Graham, who never retracted his statement on homosexualy. His refal to addrs the “hot-button issu” that ntrolled my fate brought on years of suicidal iatn and trangement. I have sce heard om many nversn therapy survivors that Graham was one of the most equently-ced sourc on homosexualy their childhood hoeholds.</p><p>So while I unrstand why Graham uld be seen by almost every mastream news source as “<a href=">Ameri’s great uner</a>,” I suggt we look at the full spe of his legacy. In the LGBTQ+ muny, Graham was nothg — absolutely nothg — but a divir. For many of , he has blood on his hands. Call this sptg on someone’s grave if you will. I ll a tth that nnot be ignored. And acknowledgg this tth, I do not ny his humany.</p><p>Yet I suggt we not settle for ls when to our Amerin hero. Humany is only one prerequise for the makg of a hero. Instead, I suggt we honor the liv of the downtrodn and broken among , as J did.</p><p><em><a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Garrard Conley</a> is the thor of the memoir</em> Boy Erased <em>(Riverhead/Pengu, 2016). His work n be found TIME, VICE, CNN, Buzzfeed Books, Virgia Quarterly Review, and many others.</em></p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="ltcwp"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier 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fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd bCbgyH gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Samantha Riel</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eIFuYX ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="vc1lpq"></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff fKazuH summary-em summary-em--has-le summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm eIFuYX" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz hlQxkn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Judge Blocks Arkansas Law That Crimaliz Librarians for “Harmful” Books" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl clSLtF summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX gPBNpL bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">News</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM dVrbhU summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk--unrle-disable" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ kBFaWv summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Judge Blocks Arkansas Law That Crimaliz Librarians for “Harmful” Books</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi hYsZi summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY dHMSJg summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ecFEgL byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" 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