Why would people 'choose' to be gay? | Science | The Guardian

Contents:

• PEOPLE THK I'M GAY... BUT I'M NOT
• ASK POLLY: WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS THK I’M GAY?
• WHY DO EVERYONE THK I'M GAY?!
• 'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY
• ‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’
• WHY WOULD PEOPLE 'CHOOSE' TO BE GAY?
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• WHY DO PEOPLE THK I’M GAY?PETE GOLDTRACK 3 ON HOBBLEHOY PRODUCED BYPETE GOLDTHIS SONG IS PETE’S WAY OF NYG ANY CLAIMS THAT HE MIGHT BE HOMOSEXUAL, AS SEEMS TO BE PRETTY MON FOR PEOPLE TO BELIEVE SO.NOV. 10, 20101 VIEWER2 CONTRIBUTORSWHY DO PEOPLE THK I’M GAY? LYRICSTHERE ARE MANY THGS LIFE THAT I HAVE LEARNEDLIKE RPECT NNOT BE BOUGHT, MT BE EARNEDI HAVE LEARNED THAT TALK IS CHEAPI LOOK BEFORE I LEAPAND I SNIFF THE K TO SEE IF HAS TURNEDBUT THERE'S ONE THG THAT REMAS A MYSTERYAND SEEMS THAT I AM JT TO BLD TO SEEYOU KNOW THEY SAY ONE GUY TEN, PREFERS THE PANY OF MENBUT WHY DO PEOPLE THK THAT ONE IS ME?WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?IS SOMETHG THAT I SAY?AM I MP OR SLIGHTLY FAY?IS MY LOVE OF DORIS DAY?WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?NOT THAT THAT ISN'T OKAYBUT LET ME ASK YOU IF I MAYWHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?DON'T GET ME WRONG, 'S OL, THIS WORLD TAK DIFFERENT STROK (DIFFERENT STROK)BUT PERSONALLY, I JT DON'T FANCY BLOK (FANCY BLOK)YOU KNOW THERE'S NO ENJOYMENT FER THAN TO PLAY WH A LADY'S SPECIAL PLACEAT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I OFTEN TOLD MY FOLKS (THAT'S WHAT HE'S ALWAYS TOLD HIS FOLKS)SO WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?IS THE WAY THAT I SASHAY?EACH TIME I HEAR YMCAWH MY NIPPL ON DISPLAYYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKEOKAY, I'M SENSIVE, POLE, AND NEATLY DRSED (NEATLY DRSED)AND Y I OWN A FTED LYCRA VT (IT'S JT FOR JOGGG)AND SO I MOISTURIZE MY FACEAND I'M A FAN OF WILL & GRACEAND I WISH MY GIRLIEND HAD A HAIRY CHT (HE WISHED HIS GIRLIEND HAD A HAIRY CHT)BUT WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?HAS MY LIBIDO GONE ASTRAY?I BLAME ON MY UNCLE RAYAND THAT THG WH THE BITHOW DO PEOPLE KNOW I'M GAY? (KNOW I'M GAY)HAVE THEY MET MY IEND JOSé? (FRIEND JOSé)NOW I'VE GOT TO FD A WAY (FD A WAY)TO TELL MY FIANCéE (FIANCéE)EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUTGENI ANNOTATN1 NTRIBUTORTHIS SONG IS PETE’S WAY OF NYG ANY CLAIMS THAT HE MIGHT BE HOMOSEXUAL, AS SEEMS TO BE PRETTY MON FOR PEOPLE TO BELIEVE SO.EXPAND +0SHAREASK A QUTN ABOUT THIS SONGASK A QUTN *‌WHO PRODUCED “WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?” BY PETE GOLD?WHEN DID PETE GOLD RELEASE “WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?”?WHO WROTE “WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?” BY PETE GOLD?HOBBLEHOY (2010)PETE GOLD1. TEXT SONG2. SUDOKU3. WHY DO PEOPLE THK I’M GAY?4. MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT SONG5. CORPORAL MUM6. MIDDLE AGED PUNCHBAG7. LLN8. NEVER GONNA W THE WORLD CUP9. DIVORCE SONG10. HOODI11. TEARS OF A LADY12. BUILD ME A FLAT13. ONE MUTE FILTH SONG14. NEW SONG15. SORRY SONGHOT LADYCREDSPRODUCED BYPETE GOLDWRTEN BYPETE GOLDRELEASE DATENOVEMBER 10, 2010TAGSPOPINDIECOMEDYEXPAND COMMENTSADD A MENTSIGN UP AND DROP KNOWLEDGE ?GENI IS THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF MIC KNOWLEDGE, CREATED BY SCHOLARS LIKE YOU WHO SHARE FACTS AND SIGHT ABOUT THE SONGS AND ARTISTS THEY LOVE.SIGN UPGENI IS THE WORLD’S BIGGT LLECTN OF SONG LYRICS AND MIL KNOWLEDGE
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?
• I THK GAYS ARE DISGTG, BUT STILL TREAT THEM AS NORMAL PEOPLE. AM I A BAD PERSON?

PEOPLE THK I'M GAY... BUT I'M NOT

”Dear Polly, I fally garnered the urage to wre to you about my particular problem, and I hope you n shed some of your wisdom on the sce the 6th gra, people have been askg me if I’m gay. I found a great girl sophomore year and we dated up until senr year, but the askg still ntued, some of which was g om my clost high school, I tried as hard as I uld to rid myself of the label people had given me.

You have to five yourself for not livg up to your ternal fantasy of what you “should” ask, “If there’s nothg I n do to nvce people I’m not gay, then am I really gay?

ASK POLLY: WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS THK I’M GAY?

You uld rent When I Knew, the documentary where gay men and women expla how they figured out they were or no duck, somethg feels unsettled to you about your inty right now. 24, 2014&#151; -- Steven Brodsky, a psychologist who specializ obssive-pulsive disorr, says that at any one time he has a "handful" of clients who are straight and spect that they are gay. J., said he had one adult patient who was so crippled by obssive thoughts about beg gay that he was unable to live penntly and had to move back wh his parents to pe.

Brodsky said a prev therapist had misdiagnosed his patient as gay, and at the patient's requt, sent him off to reparative therapy, a ntroversial method that has not been proven to be effective and n be harmful. Jack Drcher, a noted New York Cy psychiatrist who is nsired an expert gay and lbian mental health and treats patients for OCD, agreed that "beg worried that one might be gay is not the same thg as beg gay. ""A person wh OCD who has is havg tsive thoughts about whether or not he is gay, is not gay, the sense that he has not rporated a homosexual orientatn any mimally affirmg way to his inty, " said Drcher.

"Also, if he is not actually attracted to people of the same sex, do not masturbate to fantasi of people of the same sex, is not really aroed by same sex pornography, then is hard to make the se that he has a homosexual orientatn. Another was heterosexual and feared he had agreed wh Brodsky that some therapists may miss an OCD diagnosis, but "the most likely e of that is not that they are too gay-affirmg but that they lack trag regnizg the symptoms of OCD. You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change.

WHY DO EVERYONE THK I'M GAY?!

But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup.

Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to. ” Around the same time, the Human Rights Campaign clared unequivolly that “Beg gay is not a choice, ” and to claim that is “giv unwarranted crence to roundly disproven practic such as nversn or reparative therapy.

”People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backwardAs Jane Ward not Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, what’s tertg about many of the claims is how transparent their speakers are wh their polil motivatns.

'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY

“Such statements, ” she wr, “fe blogil acunts wh an obligatory and nearly ercive force, suggtg that anyone who scrib homosexual sire as a choice or social nstctn is playg to the hands of the enemy. ” People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backward – even if they are themselv, for example, Cynthia Nixon of Sex and The Cy fame.

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

”Gay rights do not have to hge on a geic explanatn for sexualy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)For Aravosis, and many gay activists like him, the public will only accept and affirm gay people if they thk they were born gay. Patrick Grzanka, Assistant Profsor of Psychology at Universy of Tennsee, for stance, has shown that some people who believe that homosexualy is nate still hold negative views of gays.

In fact, the homophobic and non-homophobic rponnts he studied shared siar levels of belief a Born This Way Samantha Allen not at The Daily Beast, the growg public support for gays and lbians has grown out of proportn wh the rise the number of people who believe homosexualy is fixed at birth; would be unlikely that this small change opn uld expla the spike support for gay marriage, for stance. “It don’t seem to matter as much whether or not people believe that gay people are born that way as do that they simply know someone who is currently gay, ” Allen spe of the studi, those who ph agast Born This Way narrativ have been heavily cricised by gay activists. Siarly, Ward has received her own hatemail for phg agast the lg LGB narrativ, wh some gays tellg her she’s “worse than Ann Coulter, ” the ntroversial US thor of books like If Democrats Had Any Bras, They’d Be Republins.

WHY WOULD PEOPLE 'CHOOSE' TO BE GAY?

And when I published my say on choosg to be gay, an irate Amerin lbian activist wrote me that had “jt been nfirmed” to her that my wrg was “directly rponsible for four gay aths Rsia. There is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejectedLet’s first be clear that whatever the origs of our sexual orientatn, there is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejected.

The efforts are potentially harmful, acrdg to the APA, “bee they prent the view that the sexual orientatn of lbian, gay and bisexual youth is a mental illns of disorr, and they often ame the abily to change one’s sexual orientatn as a personal and moral failure.

The APA, for example, while notg that most people experience ltle to no choice over their orientatns, says this of homosexualy’s origs:“Although much rearch has examed the possible geic, hormonal, velopmental, social and cultural fluenc on sexual orientatn, no fdgs have emerged that perm scientists to nclu that sexual orientatn is termed by any particular factor or factors. ”Siarly, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn wr a 2013 statement that while the of heterosexualy and homosexualy are currently unknown, they are likely “multifactorial cludg blogil and behavral roots which may vary between different dividuals and may even vary over time. ” Acrdg to LeVay’s rearch, a specific part of the bra, the third terstial nucls of the anterr hypothalam (INAH-3), is smaller homosexual men than is heterosexual as they might, scientists have stggled to inty any particular gen that nsistently predict the directns of our love and sire (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Read moreYou n spot the problem wh this study a e away: were the gay bras LeVay studied born that way, or did they bee that way?

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

Begng om his observatn that there are more gay relativ on a mother’s si than a father’s, Hamer turned his attentn to the X chromosome (which is passed on by the mother). Bis the dividual criqu leveled agast each new study announcg some gay gene disvery, there are major methodologil cricisms to make about the entire enterprise general, as Grzanka pots out: “If we look at the raveno pursu, particularly among Amerin scientists, to fd a gay gene, what we see is that the ncln has already been arrived at. ”The other problem wh Born This Way science is summed up nicely by Simon Copland: “Scientists are askg whether homosexualy is natural when we n’t even agree exactly what homosexualy is.

” Our sir may exprs themselv many different ways that do not all nform to existg notns of ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or ‘bisexual’ is one of the bt takeaways of Ward’s Not Gay, a peratg analysis of sex between straight whe men. ”Gay or not, our sir are oriented and re-oriented throughout our liv (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In fact, the straight-intified men Ward studied for her book sometim found themselv suatns that sparked the sire for homosexual sex: aterni, ployments, public rtrooms, etc.

I’m claimg that at some pot durg llege, my sexual and romantic sir beme reoriented toward menThkg back to my llege romanc wh women and men, I n beg to unrstand how my own experienc might have helped me to ‘cultivate’ my sire for homosexualy. I want to be very clear: I’m not claimg I simply began to ‘grow to’ my homosexualy, or that as I beme more fortable wh beg gay, I allowed myself the eedom to exprs what had always been latent wh me. “Limg our unrstandg of any plex human experience is always gog to be worse than allowg to be plited, ” he gay rights activists pared sexualy to relign - a ccial part of our life that we should be ee to practise however we like (Cred: Ignac Lehamann)So what are we to do wh the Born This Way rhetoric?

WHY DO PEOPLE THK I’M GAY?PETE GOLDTRACK 3 ON HOBBLEHOY PRODUCED BYPETE GOLDTHIS SONG IS PETE’S WAY OF NYG ANY CLAIMS THAT HE MIGHT BE HOMOSEXUAL, AS SEEMS TO BE PRETTY MON FOR PEOPLE TO BELIEVE SO.NOV. 10, 20101 VIEWER2 CONTRIBUTORSWHY DO PEOPLE THK I’M GAY? LYRICSTHERE ARE MANY THGS LIFE THAT I HAVE LEARNEDLIKE RPECT NNOT BE BOUGHT, MT BE EARNEDI HAVE LEARNED THAT TALK IS CHEAPI LOOK BEFORE I LEAPAND I SNIFF THE K TO SEE IF HAS TURNEDBUT THERE'S ONE THG THAT REMAS A MYSTERYAND SEEMS THAT I AM JT TO BLD TO SEEYOU KNOW THEY SAY ONE GUY TEN, PREFERS THE PANY OF MENBUT WHY DO PEOPLE THK THAT ONE IS ME?WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?IS SOMETHG THAT I SAY?AM I MP OR SLIGHTLY FAY?IS MY LOVE OF DORIS DAY?WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?NOT THAT THAT ISN'T OKAYBUT LET ME ASK YOU IF I MAYWHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?DON'T GET ME WRONG, 'S OL, THIS WORLD TAK DIFFERENT STROK (DIFFERENT STROK)BUT PERSONALLY, I JT DON'T FANCY BLOK (FANCY BLOK)YOU KNOW THERE'S NO ENJOYMENT FER THAN TO PLAY WH A LADY'S SPECIAL PLACEAT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I OFTEN TOLD MY FOLKS (THAT'S WHAT HE'S ALWAYS TOLD HIS FOLKS)SO WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?IS THE WAY THAT I SASHAY?EACH TIME I HEAR YMCAWH MY NIPPL ON DISPLAYYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKEOKAY, I'M SENSIVE, POLE, AND NEATLY DRSED (NEATLY DRSED)AND Y I OWN A FTED LYCRA VT (IT'S JT FOR JOGGG)AND SO I MOISTURIZE MY FACEAND I'M A FAN OF WILL & GRACEAND I WISH MY GIRLIEND HAD A HAIRY CHT (HE WISHED HIS GIRLIEND HAD A HAIRY CHT)BUT WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?HAS MY LIBIDO GONE ASTRAY?I BLAME ON MY UNCLE RAYAND THAT THG WH THE BITHOW DO PEOPLE KNOW I'M GAY? (KNOW I'M GAY)HAVE THEY MET MY IEND JOSé? (FRIEND JOSé)NOW I'VE GOT TO FD A WAY (FD A WAY)TO TELL MY FIANCéE (FIANCéE)EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUTGENI ANNOTATN1 NTRIBUTORTHIS SONG IS PETE’S WAY OF NYG ANY CLAIMS THAT HE MIGHT BE HOMOSEXUAL, AS SEEMS TO BE PRETTY MON FOR PEOPLE TO BELIEVE SO.EXPAND +0SHAREASK A QUTN ABOUT THIS SONGASK A QUTN *‌WHO PRODUCED “WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?” BY PETE GOLD?WHEN DID PETE GOLD RELEASE “WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?”?WHO WROTE “WHY DO PEOPLE THK I'M GAY?” BY PETE GOLD?HOBBLEHOY (2010)PETE GOLD1. TEXT SONG2. SUDOKU3. WHY DO PEOPLE THK I’M GAY?4. MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT SONG5. CORPORAL MUM6. MIDDLE AGED PUNCHBAG7. LLN8. NEVER GONNA W THE WORLD CUP9. DIVORCE SONG10. HOODI11. TEARS OF A LADY12. BUILD ME A FLAT13. ONE MUTE FILTH SONG14. NEW SONG15. SORRY SONGHOT LADYCREDSPRODUCED BYPETE GOLDWRTEN BYPETE GOLDRELEASE DATENOVEMBER 10, 2010TAGSPOPINDIECOMEDYEXPAND COMMENTSADD A MENTSIGN UP AND DROP KNOWLEDGE ?GENI IS THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF MIC KNOWLEDGE, CREATED BY SCHOLARS LIKE YOU WHO SHARE FACTS AND SIGHT ABOUT THE SONGS AND ARTISTS THEY LOVE.SIGN UPGENI IS THE WORLD’S BIGGT LLECTN OF SONG LYRICS AND MIL KNOWLEDGE

“That’s a very narrow unrstandg of what jtice looks like, ” says about the ncern that homophob will want to ‘enurage’ gay people to be straight if there’s no blogil basis for sexualy?

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

It don’t take too much creativy to image a scenar which homophobic parents, upon beg rmed their fet has ‘the gay gene’, choose what to them may seem the lser of two evils: abortn. ”Acrdg to surveys, ls than half of Generatn Z intify as "100% heterosexual", suggtg more and more people have embraced their sexual fluidy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Perhaps is time to look to the begng of the gay rights movement.

“Then there was a shift, and the lears of the movement chose to jump on board wh a ls nuanced argument that people already unrstood: jt like race, people are born wh their homosexualy. More than a third chose a number between one and rponse to the poll, one of my Facebook iends quipped about how natural selectn mt be workg overtime, what wh makg all of gay! I’m thankful for a new generatn that is pable of imagg sexualy a way that transcends the gay/straight bary, that uldn’t re ls about what happened to their bodi and mds to make them who they are today.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

There are doubtls many reasons for this, but one recurrg paranoia among many I’ve met (all of whom were men, out of tert) is that I’m gog to tell them that they’re gay. Bis, even if I did thk they were gay, ’s certaly not somethg I’m gog to brg up when first meetg someone, given how ’s a) irrelevant, and b) none of my damn don’t feel the same though. Homosexual members of society n unfortunately expect to regularly be challenged, sctised and nmned by belligerent type who are seemgly nvced that homosexualy is a “liftyle choice” issue has e up aga (for what is possibly the 12, 456, 987, 332nd time) for several reasons.

Also, UK prime mister David Cameron recently ma ments that suggt he nsirs homosexualy the aforementned “liftyle choice” (although this uld easily have been poorly chosen wordg). A high-profile homosexual person dog this (or pretty much anythg) is certa to get objectns om those who “don’t approve” around the thgs is evable, and so is the whole “beg gay is a choice” accatn.

The mastream media has always been somewhat blunt or ham-fisted s portrayal of even heterosexual relatnships (for evince of this, see pretty much any married uple an advert), so was a long shot that they’d show homosexuals accurately. Normally heterosexual characters sudnly displayg homosexual leangs when a boost viewg figur are need is a mon trope the days, so you n sort of see how this might make some people thk ’s a “choice”, if they lack more realistic sayg that sexualy is set stone om birth is also not que right, the ma emphasis of those g the choice argument is that homosexuals have weighed up their optns and nscly cid “I am gog to be gay om now on”. This seems, to put dly,, as many have poted out, if sexual orientatn is a choice, then you should feasibly be able to choose to be straight aga if beg gay isn’t “workg out”.

I THK GAYS ARE DISGTG, BUT STILL TREAT THEM AS NORMAL PEOPLE. AM I A BAD PERSON?

Comedian Todd Glass mak a brilliant pot his book (which is great, I got for Christmas), which is that if you genuely believe sexualy is a choice, then you’re not actually straight, you jt haven’t met anyone persuasive enough those who argue that homosexualy is a choice variably assert that is a wrong choice. How Olr Brothers Influence HomosexualyHomosexualy might be partly driven by a mother’s immune rponse to her male fet—which creas wh each son she MacGregor / RtersHere’s what we know: Homosexualy is normal.

Female Japane maqu will even pete tersexually wh mal for exclive accs to female sexual ’s what we don’t know: What, specifilly, someone to bee gay, straight, or somethg between. Part of the explanatn is geic, but bee most intil tws of gay people are straight, heredy don’t expla “why” qutn is important bee “there is a strong rrelatn between beliefs about the origs of sexual orientatn and tolerance of non-heterosexualy, ” acrdg to the report thors, who are om seven universi spanng the globe. (When Atlantic ntributor Chandler Burr proposed his 1996 book, A Separate Creatn, that people are born gay, Southern Baptists lled to boytt Disney films and parks prott agast the publisher, Disney subsidiary Hypern.

) It shouldn’t matter whether people “choose” to be gay, but polilly, do—at least for of the most nsistent environmental explanatns for homosexualy is lled the “aternal birth orr effect. Average prevalence 2013 (Sav-Williams and Vrangalova)Acrdg to the report, Blanchard now plans to tt mothers of gay and straight men for the prence of the antibodi.