3 Ways Whe Cis Gay Men Can Do Better for the LGBTQIA+ Movement - Everyday Femism

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Kev Maxen has bee the first male ach a US men’s profsnal sports league to e out as gay.

Contents:

WHE GAY MEN ARE HRG OUR PROGRS AS A QUEER COMMUNY

An open letter to my fellow whe gay cis men: there should be no "returng to normal" after this. * cis gay men *

This is long but thoughtful piece by Ben Appel that hs home on several pots about gay people and what’s happeng now.

But the days, I’m equally wary of the progrsive activists who ph a distctly homophobic agenda that ni the blogil realy of sex—and who claim that what we are attracted to isn’t male or female bodi per se, but rather male or female genr inti. This outlook effectively imag away the existence of homosexualy, which, the real world, is of urse rooted physil attractn based on blogil ias also serve to stct genr-nonnformg children (as I once was) that their uniquens dit they may have been born si the “wrong body, ” and so will likely have to m to a lifetime of medilizatn if they want to be happy.

CIS QUEERS, WE HAVE A {FONT-SIZE:20PX;LOR:#999;FONT-STYLE:ALIC;MARG:0PX;MARG-TOP:10PX;}TRANSPHOBIA WH THE BGLTQ {GRID-ROW-START:2;GRID-LUMN-START:2;GRID-LUMN-END:3;}@MEDIA (MAX-WIDTH:950PX){{GRID-LUMN-START:1;GRID-LUMN-END:2;}}{BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;FONT-FAY:'COLABORATE LIGHT','LUCIDA SANS UNI',SANS-SERIF;MARG-BOTTOM:5PX;} A{LOR:#7B1B18;} IMG{PADDG-RIGHT:7PX;}BY {LOR:#BA0600;}BECA J. GANTHER, CRIMSON OPN {FONT-SIZE:14PX;LOR:#999;MARG-TOP:2PX;}BECA J. GANTHER ’20, A CRIMSON EDORIAL EDOR, IS A HISTORY AND SCIENCE NCENTRATOR LEVERETT HOE. HER LUMN APPEARS ON ALTERNATE {BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;}{DISPLAY:NONE;}@MEDIA (MAX-WIDTH:950PX){{BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;DISPLAY:BLOCK;PADDG-TOP:20PX;PADDG-BOTTOM:20PX;MARG-TOP:20PX;BORR-TOP:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;BORR-BOTTOM:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;}}{DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;-WEBK-FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;-MS-FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;WIDTH:TO;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;POSN:-WEBK-STICKY;POSN:STICKY;TOP:70PX;-WEBK-FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;-MS-FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;POSN:UNSET;} {DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG:0PX;} > SPAN{WIDTH:35PX !IMPORTANT;HEIGHT:35PX !IMPORTANT;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;BORR-RADI:50%;} SVG{WIDTH:25PX !IMPORTANT;HEIGHT:35PX !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_EMAIL > SPAN, .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_PRT > SPAN, .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_LK > SPAN{BACKGROUND-LOR:#EBEBEB !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_UNTER .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_EXPAND{WIDTH:35PX;HEIGHT:35PX;MARG:0PX;PADDG:0PX;BACKGROUND:NONE;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;BORR:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;BORR-RADI:50%;LOR:#EBEBEB !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_PACT{DISPLAY:NONE !IMPORTANT;} {MARG:0PX 5PX;}{POSN:RELATIVE;WIDTH:100%;} P{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;FONT:17PX/25PX GEIA,SERIF;MARG-TOP:1EM;MARG-BOTTOM:1EM;} OL{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;FONT:17PX/25PX GEIA,SERIF;PADDG-LEFT:80PX;} P A, OL A, P A:VISED, OL A:VISED{LOR:#BA0600;-WEBK-TRANSN:0.3S ALL;TRANSN:0.3S ALL;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} P A:HOVER, OL A:HOVER{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} H1, H2, H3, H4, H5, H6{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MARG-TOP:1EM;MARG-BOTTOM:1EM;LOR:#7B1B18;}LAST WEEK, I WAS WATCHG POSE, A TV SHOW ABOUT TRANSGENR WOMEN OF LOR AND THE BALLROOM SCENE THE 1980S, DURG THE AIDS CRISIS. PRODUCED BY TRANS ACTIVIST JA MOCK, POSE IS MAKG HISTORY BY HAVG THE MOST TRANS SERI REGULARS ON ANY TV SHOW EVER.IN ONE EPISO, THERE’S A SCENE WHERE BLAN, A TRANS WOMAN OF LOR, STAG A PROTT AT A BAR THAT TERS TO CISGENR GAY WHE MEN AFTER THE BARTENR AND MANAGER REFE TO SERVE HER. HERE, WE SEE A TRANS WOMAN WHO ALREADY FAC DISCRIMATN OM CIS STRAIGHT PEOPLE TRYG TO FD SOLIDARY WH OTHER QUEER PEOPLE AT THE BAR, BUT SHE IS SHUNNED. THE CIS GAY WHE MEN ARE MORE TERTED UPHOLDG THEIR OWN PRIVILEGE THAN BUILDG MUNY WH TRANS WOMEN OF LOR. THIS SELF IS A STRONG MSAGE, BUT THE SHOW’S CREATORS TOOK ONE STEP FURTHER.WHILE AT THE BAR, BLAN NOTIC THAT SHE’S NOT THE ONLY PERSON OF LOR THE ROOM; THERE’S ALSO A BLACK CIS GAY MAN THERE. HOPG TO FD AN ALLY THE ROOM, BLAN POTS OUT THAT THEY’RE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE OF LOR THE ROOM AND TELLS HIM, “THEY DON’T WANT HERE.” HIS RPONSE? “NO, THEY DON’T WANT YOU HERE.” UPON HEARG THIS, THE MANAGER GIV HIM A EE DRK, “PLIMENTS OF THE HOE.”THIS CIS GAY BLACK MAN IS BOTH QUEER AND A RACIAL MORY, LIKE BLAN. HE DON’T HAVE TO IMAGE OPPRSN; HE’S EXPERIENCED MANY TIM OVER. EVEN SO, HE IS TOO VTED UPHOLDG HIS CIS PRIVILEGE TO SI WH BLAN AS SHE FAC BLATANT DISCRIMATN. AND HE’S REWARD FOR THIS WH THE APPROVAL OF A WHE PERSON.I’LL BE HONT: I WAS SURPRISED WH THIS SCENE. I THOUGHT THE SHOW WAS GOG TO LL OUT CIS STRAIGHT WHE MEN (THE UAL SPECT FOR PRIVILEGED PEOPLE BEG PROBLEMATIC) AND CIS GAY WHE MEN (ONE OF THE UAL SPECTS FOR MARGALIZED PEOPLE BEG PROBLEMATIC) AND MOVE ON. AFTER ALL, CIS WHE MEN OF ALL SEXUALI DO BENEF OM MANY PRIVILEG, AND HAVG MORE PRIVILEG GIV YOU MORE AVENU TO OPPRS PEOPLE, WHETHER TENTNAL OR NOT. BUT STEAD, POSE POTED OUT HOW ANYONE WH PRIVILEGE, EVEN MARGALIZED PEOPLE, EVEN PEOPLE WH MULTIPLE MARGALIZATNS, N OPPRS OTHERS TO UPHOLD THEIR OWN PRIVILEGE. AND SPECIFILLY THIS SE, HOW CIS QUEER PEOPLE (AND NOT JT THE WHE ON) ARE FAR TOO FORTABLE PERPETUATG TRANSPHOBIA. AND MORE PERSONALLY, HOW I HAVE BEEN AND NTUE TO BE FAR TOO FORTABLE PERPETUATG TRANSPHOBIA, EVEN IF I DON’T REALIZE . AND HOW WE NEED TO CHANGE.BGLTQ PEOPLE MAY BE THE SAME MUNY, BUT THAT DON’T MEAN WE ALL FACE THE SAME ISSU. LET’S NOT “ALL LIV MATTER” THIS. THERE ARE SPECIFIC AND REAL BARRIERS THAT TRANS, NON-BARY, AND GENRQUEER PEOPLE FACE THAT CIS PEOPLE DO NOT, OR AT LEAST NOT TO THE SAME GREE. THE CLU LACK OF HEALTHRE ACCS, AQUATE OR NONEXISTENT PROTECTNS OM EMPLOYMENT DISCRIMATN, AND A HIGH MURR RATE — ONE 2,600 FOR YOUNG BLACK TRANS WOMEN AMERI PARED TO ONE 12,000 FOR ALL YOUNG ADULTS. THE BARRIERS ARE SYMPTOMS OF A STCTURAL IMBALANCE THAT CIS PEOPLE BENEF OM AND NTUE TO UPHOLD. DRAWG ATTENTN TO THIS ISN’T DIVISIVE; ’S THE ONLY WAY THAT WE N ACHIEVE TE EQUALY FOR OUR ENTIRE MUNY. IT’S ABHORRENT THAT CISGENR QUEER PEOPLE WOULD BENEF OM AND PERPETUATE TRANSPHOBIA WHILE RELUCTANTLY THROWG A “T” TO THE ACRONYM AS AN AFTERTHOUGHT.WHILE TODAY’S MASTREAM BGLTQ MOVEMENT N BE NOTORLY CIS-CENTRIC, WE SHOULDN’T FET THAT THE FIRST PRI MARCH WERE MEMORATN OF THE STONEWALL RTS, LED BY TRANS WOMEN OF LOR MARSHA P. JOHNSON AND SYLVIA RIVERA. IT’S NO CINCE THAT A KEY TURNG POT THE MOVEMENT WAS TALYZED BY TRANS WOMEN OF LOR, YET THEY NTUE TO BE ERASED OM OUR MUNY. IN FACT, JT THIS PAST YEAR, ANTI-TRANS PROTTERS DISPTED LONDON’S PRI MARCH AND WERE EVENTUALLY ALLOWED TO LEAD THE MARCH. THE FACT THAT TRANSPHOB FELT FORTABLE SHARG HARMFUL RHETORIC AT A PRI MARCH — AND WERE EVEN REWARD WH THE HONOR OF LEADG THE MARCH — IS A RED FLAG FOR THE WAYS WHICH MASTREAM QUEER CULTURE DO NOT FORCE CISGENR PEOPLE TO TERROGATE THEIR OWN TRANSPHOBIC BIAS.THE FIRST STEP FIGHTG TRANSPHOBIA IS LISTENG TO TRANS PEOPLE. THEY SERVE MORE THAN JT A SEAT AT THE TABLE; THEY HELPED CREATE THE TABLE AND SHOULD BE LEADG OUR MOVEMENT WH A STRONG VOICE ANY CISN MA. A MOVEMENT THAT IS NOT CLIVE OF THE MOST MARGALIZED IS NOT A MOVEMENT AT ALL. COUNTLS TRANS, NON-BARY, AND GENRQUEER ACTIVISTS HAVE ALREADY POTED OUT THE TRANSPHOBIA THE BGLTQ MUNY AND HOW WE N BE BETTER, BUT CISGENR QUEER PEOPLE JT HAVEN’T ALWAYS BEEN LISTENG.SAM DYLAN FCH, A TRANS ACTIVIST WHO BLOGS AT “LET’S QUEER THGS UP,” HIGHLIGHTS THE IMPORTANCE OF RPECTG AND G PEOPLE’S RRECT PRONOUNS, WRG ON EVERYDAY FEMISM THAT “WHEN YOU MAKE THE CISN TO NOT RPECT SOMEONE’S PRONOUNS, WHAT YOU ARE ULTIMATELY SAYG IS THAT THEIR PERSONAL TTH IS SOMETHG YOU ARE MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT THAN THEM.” SHIGE N. SAKURAI OM EXPLAS THAT “SHARG PRONOUNS IS A GREAT WAY TO DISPT THE NORMALIZATN AND PRIVILEGE OF ASSUMPTN,” SO CISGENR PEOPLE SHOULD MAKE A HAB TO TRODUCE OURSELV WH PRONOUNS. ADRIAN BALLOU, A GENRQUEER WRER AND ACTIVIST, EXPLAS HOW UNGENRG OUR LANGUAGE “N BRG ALL CLOSER TO GENR-BASED EEDOM.” LOURS ASHLEY HUNTER, THE -FOUNR OF THE TRANS WOMEN OF COLOR COLLECTIVE, TELLS CISGENR PEOPLE TO “LEVERAGE YOUR ACCS TO ROURC TO CREATE OPPORTUNI FOR OUR MUNY,” WHETHER THAT BE ACCS TO TNAL ROURC, MONEY, OR CERTA PROFSNS. THIS LIST OF BEHAVRS THAT TRANS, NON-BARY, AND GENRQUEER PEOPLE HAVE TOLD CIS PEOPLE TO DO TO HELP DISMANTLE CISNORMATIVY IS FAR OM EXHSTIVE.TO MY FELLOW CIS QUEER PEOPLE, WE NEED TO DO A BETTER JOB OF LISTENG TO TRANS PEOPLE AND THEN TERROGATG OUR OWN ACTNS AND BIAS. IT’S HYPOCRIL FOR TO MAND MORE THAN PERFORMATIVE ALLYSHIP OM CIS STRAIGHT PEOPLE AND THEN TURN AROUND AND PERFORM THE BARE MIMUM OF ALLYSHIP FOR TRANS MEMBERS OF OUR MUNY. WE N’T HI BEHD QUEER INTI TO ABSOLVE OM THE REAL HARM THAT CIS PEOPLE CREATE PERPETUATG TRANSPHOBIA. IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO JT CLU THE “T” WHEN SPELLG OUT THE ACRONYM. IF WE AREN’T ACTIVELY DISMANTLG CISNORMATIVY, BOTH WH SOCIETY AND WH OURSELV, THEN WE ARE PART OF THE {DISPLAY:BLOCK;MARG:0PX TO;WIDTH:100%;MAX-WIDTH:100%;BACKGROUND:TRANSPARENT;PADDG:10PX 0PX;} {FONT-FAY:'COLABORATE LIGHT','LUCIDA SANS UNI',SANS-SERIF;LOR:#333333;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;FONT-SIZE:0.7EM;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;DISPLAY:BLOCK;} {WIDTH:-WEBK-F-NTENT;WIDTH:-MOZ-F-NTENT;WIDTH:F-NTENT;MARG:0PX TO;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;}ADVERTISEMENTBECA J. GANTHER ’20, A CRIMSON EDORIAL EDOR, IS A HISTORY AND SCIENCE NCENTRATOR LEVERETT HOE. HER LUMN APPEARS ON ALTERNATE {FONT-SIZE:16.5PX;LE-HEIGHT:26PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;MARG:1EM TO;} A{LOR:#7B1B18;}WANT TO KEEP UP WH BREAKG NEWS? 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Jaguars assistant Kev Maxen has bee the first male ach major Amerin men's pro sports to publicly e out as gay, tellg he ma the cisn bee he didn't want to hi who he is any longer. * cis gay men *

But ’s also an implic slur, often directed at gay men wh tradnally mascule—th, “assiatnist, ” toxic, and regrsive—tras. … Sce that time, I’ve noticed that enmy toward “cis” gay men (which often seems a lot like straight up homophobia) has begun to permeate LGBT publitns and social media, whout any sort of nsequenc. …This attu … offers one explanatn for the sharp uptick the number of gay men and women who now intify unr the umbrella of “trans/nonbary.

” As I’ve told iends over the last few years, were I to dye my hair purple, start patg my nails and wearg eyeler, and change my pronouns, I would experience ls anti-gay hostily the “queer” muny, sce I would have visibly rejected “cis-heteronormativy. In the Quillette ments, “Beowulf_Obsidian” shared: Ls than a year after homosexual marriage was legalized, gay iends of me openly lamented how they fell om their super hero stat to beg part of the nmned ‘normative’ crowd.

GAY CULTURE HAS GROWN TOXIC WH UNCHECKED PRIVILEGE. IT'S TIME FOR TO RET

* cis gay men *

They weren’t celebrated for beg gay, they were blasted for not wantg to have sex or date heterobodied trans. ”No Jtice, No Pri and Black Liv Matter–affiliated groups reprised the prott ci across the untry throughout the Capal Pri nontatn and others like have laid bare a growg chasm wh the LGBTQ+ muny between olr activists and younger; between gay whe cisgenr men who feel like they n celebrate post-marriage equaly and those who fear for their liv unr a Tmp admistratn; between those whose biggt stumblg block life is beg gay and those who feel their eedom is ntgent not only on LGBTQ+ rights but also on issu like police reform, reproductive rights, and enomic equaly.

”But as dtups ed by groups like No Jtice, No Pri show — as well as other velopments, like the addn of a brown stripe to Philalphia’s LGBTQ pri flag; and scuffl over the cln of Israeli flags at monstratns — that not everyone is happy wh the LGBTQ+ movement’s foc on tersectnaly, which has foreground discsns of privilege, police btaly, sexism, racism, and anti-trans BeckSome gay whe cisgenr men are startg to tune out. “You have gay whe men who are no longer volved activism or muny work bee they jt get shouted down by mory activists who want to racialize everythg, ” said Jamie Kirchick, a right-leang journalist and visg fellow at the Brookgs Instutn. “Whe gay man has bee an ephet, ” he the amic fn of tersectnaly may be narrow, s meang has broaned as s age has spread across var social jtice movements.

Not only is ed as shorthand to talk about work between alns, has also e to embody the ia that, as wh the experience of inty, the sourc of opprsn — sexism, homophobia, transphobia, racism — are ternnected. “I thk what [the foc on tersectnaly] do is brg everyone to rally around our victimhood, and that, fundamentally, is negative, ” said Jimmy LaSalvia, now a polil pennt who -found gay Republin group the Log Cab Republins.

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”Kirchick said tersectnaly has ma the work of some LGBTQ+ anizatns herent, cg groups like Gays Agast Guns, which spng up after the Pulse massacre Orlando last year. “And the notn that gay-rights groups should be weighg at all on [the] abortn issue is prepostero. But even some progrsive gay whe men say they feel alienated om a movement they see beg more radil, particularly onle, where the tenor of nversatn is often uncivil.

TRANS PEOPLE AND CISGENR GAY MEN THE UK ARE MOST LIKELY TO EXPERIENCE VLENCE

This clus downplayg the role of gay men the 1969 Stonewall rts that kicked off the morn-day LGBTQ-rights era.

“People lerally say that gay whe men have done nothg for the movement for the last 50 years, ” he said.

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”But Olson, who is gay and married, add that the ternal nflict the LGBTQ+ movement is currently experiencg — and the drop-off participatn om those at the top — was to be expected after marriage equaly.

A gay whe married man, he said he “showed up for marriage and looked at issu that followed and stepped back out.

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Uned by the Vietnam War, was an “credible era of dialogue” between social-jtice groups of starkly different Gay Liberatn Front marched wh the Black Panthers and participated antiwar monstratns. “Homophil, ” as they lled themselv back then, took on issu like police reform at a time when law enforcement routely entrapped gay men stgs. The movement was not only far more centralized than today, when several large LGBTQ+ advocy anizatns wh lots of money generally set the agenda; was stacked wh crics of palism, cludg munists like Harry Hay, who -found early homophile anizatn the Mattache Society.

“This Is Not a Pole Thg”To those experiencg opprsn on several onts — those at the tersectns — the sensibili of gay whe cisgenr men seem bi the pot. ” He noted that AIDS activism the 1980s and 1990s — which gay men and their alli chaed themselv to ernment buildgs and performed die-s on the streets of major ci — was hardly pole. ” said Moore, who lled on LGBTQ anizatns to endorse Black Liv Matter on Alli, Our SelvNot all gay whe cisgenr men see the LGBTQ+ movement’s tersectnal turn a negative light.

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Brian Sims said his experience as a gay whe cisgenr man — and the discrimatn he has faced on acunt of his sexual orientatn — has ma him more sympathetic to the plight of members of the muny who are more disenanchised than he is. ”Sims said seemed obv to him that sexism, racism, transphobia, ableism, and homophobia e om the same place, and said that the far-right polics of the Tmp admistratn have ma tersectnaly all the more important. To do this, gay whe cisgenr men have to not only let their guard down and listen but also acknowledge the relative power they wield and e to elevate those lower down who have been historilly margalized.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* CIS GAY MEN

Jaguars assistant is first male NFL ach to e out as gay - Los Angel Tim.

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