Adult Children of Gay and Lbian Parents: Relign and the Parent-Child Relatnship - PMC

Contents:

• KIDS OF GAY PARENTS FARE WORSE, STUDY FDS, BUT REARCH DRAWS FIRE OM EXPERTS
• THE CHILDREN OF GAY PARENTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELV
• GAY PARENTS RAISG KIDS: HOW WILL THEY FARE?
• LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG
• GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*
• PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE
• KIDS CAN THRIVE WH GAY PARENTS
• ITALY BEGS REMOVG GAY MOTHERS OM CHILDREN’S BIRTH CERTIFIT
• WHY GAY PARENTS MAY BE THE BT PARENTS
• ADULT CHILDREN OF GAY AND LBIAN PARENTS: RELIGN AND THE PARENT-CHILD RELATNSHIP

KIDS OF GAY PARENTS FARE WORSE, STUDY FDS, BUT REARCH DRAWS FIRE OM EXPERTS

The days, gay parents are no novelty: We see them strollg through our neighborhoods, participatg our PTA meetgs, and, perhaps most notably, appearg on our TV screens: Mchell and Cam, fathers to Lily, on the ratgs smash Morn Fay; Glee’s Sue Sylvter, expectant mom to a baby nceived wh an as-yet-unrevealed sperm donor, and Rachel’s dads, played wh humor and grace by Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stok. Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lbian and gay parents and their children are often subject to prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn that n turn judg, legislators, profsnals, and the public agast them, sometim rultg negative out, such as loss of physil ctody, rtrictns on visatn, and prohibns agast adoptn (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Appell, 2003; Patterson, Fulcher, & Waright, 2002).

THE CHILDREN OF GAY PARENTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELV

Three ncerns have historilly been associated wh judicial cisn makg ctody ligatn and public polici erng foster re and adoptn: the belief that lbians and gay men are mentally ill, that lbians are ls maternal than heterosexual women, and that lbians' and gay men's relatnships wh sexual partners leave ltle time for ongog parent-child teractns (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Falk, 1989, 1994; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996). There is no reliable evince that homosexual orientatn per se impairs psychologil functng, although the social and other circumstanc which lbians and gay men live, cludg exposure to wispread prejudice and discrimatn, often e acute distrs (Cochran, 2001; Freedman, 1971; Gonsrek, 1991; Hart et al., 1978; Hooker, 1957; Meyer, 2003; Reiss, 1980). A recent study of 256 lbian and gay parent fai found that, ntrast to patterns characterizg the majory of Amerin parents, very few lbian and gay parents reported any e of physil punishment (such as spankg) as a disciplary technique; stead, they were likely to report e of posive techniqu such as reasong (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002).

Certaly, rearch has found no reasons to believe lbian mothers or gay fathers to be unf parents (Armto, 2002; Barret & Robson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jabsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Wton, 1991). Three aspects of sexual inty are nsired the rearch: genr inty, which ncerns a person's self-intifitn as male or female; genr-role behavr, which ncerns the extent to which a person's activi, occupatns, and the like are regard by the culture as mascule, feme, or both; and sexual orientatn, which refers to a person's choice of sexual partners, who may be homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual (Money & Ehrhardt, 1972; Ste, 1993). Subjects evaluated vigt pictg eher a gay male uple or heterosexual uple and their adopted son along the dimensns of parentg abily, gree to which the child's problems were attributable to the parental relatnship, distrs of the child (cludg genr and sexual inty nfn), and the extent to which ctody reassignment was perceived to be beneficial.

A review of rearch on children of lbian and gay parents intifi some of the sourc of diversy wh lbian and gay parentg muni / prent rearch on those who beme parents the ntext of heterosexual relatnships, before g out as lbian or gay / scribe studi of lbians who beme parents after g out [prent] rearch on children born the ntext of heterosexual relatnships...

GAY PARENTS RAISG KIDS: HOW WILL THEY FARE?

The amework foc on (1) whether selectn effects produced by homophobia acunt for associatns between parental sexual orientatns and child out; (2) the role of parental genr vis-à-vis sexual orientatn fluencg children's genr velopment; and (3) the relatnship between parental sexual orientatns and children's sexual preferenc and behavrs. Although is clear that homosexualy is not and of self related to psychopathology, there are persistent suggtns that the particular strs endured by gay men and lbians, pecially adolcence and young adulthood, may e an upsurge attempted suici and perhaps chemil abe, perhaps temporary or perhaps a segment of homosexuals. The paper foc on (a) methodologil problems rearch on homosexualy; (b) studi parg adjtment levels of male homosexuals and male heterosexuals, effemate and noneffemate male homosexuals, and female homosexuals and female heterosexuals; (c) the relatnship between gree of homosexualy and adjtment; (d) homosexual subculture; and (e) the relatnship between homosexualy and psychopathology.

(From the chapter) social science theory and empiril rearch to scribe and expla psychologil heterosexism the US today / addrs the attudal and belief ponents of psychologil heterosexism, wh special attentn to gnive and motivatnal procs / behavral aspects of psychologil heterosexism-specifilly, acts of vlence agast lbians and gay men-are discsed / the nsequenc of psychologil heterosexism are nsired.

LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG

(From the chapter) child ctody / sexual orientatn and liftyle on their children / ctodial gay fathers / children's reactns to havg a gay father / social ntrol strategi / boundary ntrol fluencg factors / mutualy / father's reactns / protective strategi / role molg / children's velopment of sexual inty / homonegative reactns of children.

Divid to three segments, the book tak an unflchg and entirely new look at motherg: "New Lsons" exam the way which sons of lbians grow up to be different men; "Makg a Fay" looks at fay nstcts and "Facg Loss" reveals the heart-breakg realy that many women have had to nont when their fai were threatened by homophobic urts and tradns. (From the chapter) gay fatherhood has emerged to public awarens and brought qutns / who are gay fathers, and how do they bee parents / what kd of parents do gay men make, and how do their children velop / what special challeng and strs do gay fathers and their children face daily life, and how do they pe wh them / what n acquatance wh gay fathers and their children offer to the unrstandg of parenthood, child velopment, and fay life / although rearch leratur bearg on such qutns are que new and relatively sparse, existg studi addrs some issu raised by the existence of gay fathers.

“WHEREAS, The legislative protectn afford to children of parents homosexual relatnships vari om state to state, wh some stat enactg or nsirg legislatn sanctng -parent or send parent adoptn by partners of the same sex, several stat clg to nsir legislatn, and at least one state altogether banng adoptn by the send parent; and. “The Amerin Psychologil Associatn plor all public and private discrimatn such areas as employment, hog, public acmodatn, and licensg agast those who engage or have engaged homosexual activi and clar that no burn of proof of such judgment, pacy, or reliabily shall be placed upon the dividuals greater than that imposed on any other persons.

GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*

“WHEREAS people who also experience discrimatn based on age, race, ethnicy, disabily, genr and genr inty, relign, and socenomic stat may pecially benef om accs to marriage for same-sex upl (Divisn 44/Commtee on Sexual Orientatn and Genr Diversy Jot Task Force on Guil for Psychotherapy wh Lbian, Gay, and Bisexual Clients, 2000);.

Three key fdgs stood out this study: children of married, oppose-sex parents have a high graduatn rate pared to the others; children of lbian fai have a very low graduatn rate pared to the others; and children the other four typ of livg arrangements (mon law marriage, gay uple, sgle mother, and sgle father) are siar to each other and fall between the extrem of married heterosexual parents and lbian upl. The women (whose average age both groups was 29) wh gay or bisexual fathers had difficulty wh adult attachment issu three areas: (1) they were ls fortable wh closens and timacy; (2) they were ls able to tst and pend on others; and (3) they experienced more anxiety relatnships pared to the women raised by heterosexual fathers (and mothers).

The study is noteworthy for several reasons: (1) his study sample was large, reprentative, and populatn-based (not a small, self-selected group); (2) Regnes studied the rpons of adult children rather than askg same-sex parents to scribe how their young pennt children are dog; and (3) he was able to draw parisons on up to 80 measur for children who had lived wh (or had) parents who fell to one of eight tegori—tact fai wh both blogil parents who were married to each other, lbian mothers, gay fathers, heterosexual sgle parents, parents who later divorced, habg parents, parents who adopted the rponnt, and other (such as a ceased parent). For example, 2005, the Amerin Psychologil Associatn (APA) issued an official brief on lbian and gay parentg, which clud this assertn: “Not a sgle study has found children of lbian and gay parents to be disadvantaged any signifint rpect relative to children of heterosexual parents” (Amerin Psychologil Associatn 2005). The thor remend further flaws exist the vast majory of studi published before 2012 on this subject (Marks 2012) cludg the fact that they relied upon small, nonreprentative sampl that are not reprentative of children typil homosexual fai the Uned major studi, published by Gartrell and Bos (2010) and Biblarz and Stacey (2010), are often ced by gay activists and extensively the media.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

For ee real time breakg news alerts sent straight to your box sign up to our breakg news emailsSign up to our ee breakg news emailsItaly has begun removg the nam of gay mothers om their children’s birth certifit, as part of the right-wg ernment’s crackdown on same-sex move after populist prime mister Grgia Meloni’s aln announced March that state agenci should no longer register the children of same-sex upl, a move that sparked protts Milan. "When you thk about the 114, 000 children who are eed for adoptn who ntue to live foster re and who are not beg readily adopted, the goal is to crease the pool of available, terted and well-traed dividuals to parent the children, " Brodzsky addn, Brodzsky said, there's evince to suggt that gays and lbians are pecially acceptg of open adoptns, where the child retas some ntact wh his or her birth parents. "Intertgly, we fd that a small percentage, but enough to be noteworthy, [of birth mothers] make a nsc cisn to place wh gay men, so they n be the only mother their child's life, " Brodzsky parentgRearch has shown that the kids of same-sex upl — both adopted and blogil kids — fare no worse than the kids of straight upl on mental health, social functng, school performance and a variety of other life-succs a 2010 review of virtually every study on gay parentg, New York Universy soclogist Judh Stacey and Universy of Southern California soclogist Tim Biblarz found no differenc between children raised hom wh two heterosexual parents and children raised wh lbian parents.

The followg them emerged om phenomenologil analysis of the terviews: (a) fay break-up more difficult than the parents’ g out; (b) disvery that parent was gay or lbian; (c) ial shame over havg gay or lbian parent; (d) posive aspects of havg a gay or lbian parent; (e) refed relatnship wh relign; and (f) impact of culture on how gay and lbian dividuals are viewed.

KIDS CAN THRIVE WH GAY PARENTS

Over the years, rearchers have started to vtigate the perspectiv of adult children who have been raised by gay and lbian parents (Bailey, Bobrow, Wolfe, & Mikach, 1995; Tasker & Golombok, 1995), and the foc has moved beyond explorg stigma to unrstandg their long-term experienc greater pth (Goldberg, 2007a, 2007b) children may have been raised by an tact gay or lbian uple sce fancy, but others may have to balance relatnships wh both gay and heterosexual parents. Conversely, when dividuals and fai are able to rolve the apparent nflict between acceptg a gay or lbian fay member and relig homonegative msag, the out n eventually be more posive (Lease & Shulman, 2003) discsed below, the impact on fai occurs over time, and relatnships wh the fay as well as wh their relign may change as children are able to reflect on their experienc and mature themselv. Therefore, the goal of the current study was to exame the perceived role of relign over time the parent-child relatnships of adult children wh a gay or lbian parent and a heterosexual Out to ChildrenWhen gay and lbian parents e out after they have tablished fai a heterosexual relatnship, the g out procs affects the entire fay (Armto, 2002; Beeler & DiProva, 1999; Bozett, 1980; Van Voorhis & McCla, 1997).

In addn, fai often create their own l about discsg homosexualy and/or may experience negative emotns followg the g out procs (Beeler & DiProva, 1999), Gillis, and Cogan (2009) found that gay, lbian, and bisexual dividuals who were more relig had higher sr on the Revised Internalized Homophobia Sle (IHP-R), suggtg that ternalized heterosexism or self-stigma was posively related to relig-based homonegative msag.

ITALY BEGS REMOVG GAY MOTHERS OM CHILDREN’S BIRTH CERTIFIT

However, Hunsberger (1996) found that fundamentalist Christian, Jewish, Mlim, and Hdu nomatns were all generally tolerant toward gay and lbian dividuals, regardls of their to the homonegative msag, gay and lbian dividuals may believe that they have to ci between their relig inty and intifyg as gay or lbian, and the dividuals may rema celibate if they choose their relign (Rter & O’Neill, 1989).

WHY GAY PARENTS MAY BE THE BT PARENTS

In one of the few articl that nsired the relativ of gay and lbian dividuals, Lease and Shulman (2003) found that fay members ed strategi such as focg on relig msag that facilated their acceptance, adjted their level of volvement when relign imped their acceptance, and advoted for acceptance wh their relig muny, to rencile their relig inty wh acceptg LGB fay gays and lbians of lor, the challeng bee more plex, as a ls tolerant culture may further impe the g out procs for people of lor (Merighi & Grim, 2000).

Bee of the plex teractns of multiple inti, gay and lbian dividuals may stggle between g out to a muny that is unsupportive whout the guarantee of acceptance to the larger gay and lbian muny due to racism (Smh et al., 2008) summary, although the negative associatn between relign and sexual orientatn has been addrsed, rearch regardg other aspects of relig fluence on gay and lbian dividuals is limed. Participants have the followg current relig inti: Jewish (2), Catholic (3), Prottant (1), Mennone (1), nfed (1), and two participants no longer have an intifyg 1Participant DemographicsNameSexAgeFay RelignCurrent RelignRace/ EthnicyGay or Lbian ParentSexual OrientatnMariaF29Catholic- PentestalConfedLataFatherHeterosexualAmyF19LutheranMennoneWheFatherUnknownRogerM30CatholicCatholicWheFatherUnknownNancyF30JewishJewishWheMotherHeterosexualSarahF43Roman CatholicRoman CatholicWheFatherHeterosexualShellyF33CatholicNoneWheFatherHeterosexualAlexM23JewishNoneWhe/ Native AmerinMotherHeterosexualRachelF34JewishJewishWhe/ JewishMotherHeterosexualVictoriaF28CatholicCatholicWheFatherHeterosexualTammyF28ChristianChristianWhe/ ItalianMotherLbianNe participants were raised the ntext of heterosexual relatnships that dissolved, and one dividual was born to the ntext of a same-sex relatnship that dissolved when one of the participants’ mothers entered a heterosexual relatnship and ntued to intify as heterosexual while the other mother ntued to intify as lbian. ProcrThe terview protol was veloped by the first and send thors based on an extensive lerature review and was foced to answer the followg rearch qutn: How do adult children wh both a gay or lbian parent as well as a heterosexual parent retrospectively perceive the impact of relign on their relatnships wh both their heterosexual and gay or lbian parents?

ADULT CHILDREN OF GAY AND LBIAN PARENTS: RELIGN AND THE PARENT-CHILD RELATNSHIP

In velopg our terview qutns we nsired qutns addrsed prr related studi: (a) the role of relign their fay, how the role of relign has evolved, and how their relign viewed gay and lbian dividuals (Lease & Shulman, 2003), and (b) the impact heterosexual parent’s rponse to the g out had on parent-child relatnships (Goldberg, 2007a). Also, bee of the potential tersectn of relig and ethnic inti (Greene, 1997), we asked about ethnic inty and how the participant’s ethnic muny views gay and lbian recg participants, two volunteers who met the study creria but were not part of the study participated terviews and provid feedback on both the mographic qutnnaire and terview protol for this study. The mographic qutnnaire clud the followg ems: sex, race/ethnicy, relig background, current relign, age, level of relig participatn, age when gay or lbian parent me out to child, which parent is gay or lbian, the parent’s intified sexual orientatn, which parent is straight, and child’s age when the parents were divorced or separated.

The semi-stctured terview was also ed to ga more rmatn regardg how the parent-child relatnship may differ between the adult child and her or his gay or lbian parent and heterosexual first thor utilized bracketg before the study began, and wrote about her personal experience and knowledge of this phenomenon to bee more aware of her prenceptns. Rndant statements were exclud as meangs were rived om the signifint statements by rereadg through the statements to unver meangs that uld have been ncealed (Crwell, 1998, 2007) anizatn started by clterg the statements to intify the major them related to how relign impacts the parent-child relatnships of adult children wh a gay or lbian parent.