Can Someone Be Homosexual and Not Gay? | Psychology Today

become not gay

Are you qutng your sexualy? Fd out if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. Learn what the terms mean and if they apply to you.

Contents:

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

Homosexualy is not a choice the sense of beg easily reversed. However, rearch on sexual fluidy suggts some gay people n adjt to heterosexual liftyl. * become not gay *

I like guys but I don’t want to be gay.

How do I stop beg gay? You don’t need to be certa you are gay before talkg to someone or attendg an LGBTQ+ meetg. I am a gay male.

I have been out nearly 7 years now (age 16, sophomore year of HS).

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

* become not gay *

That week I told my iends and fay I was gay. It is very homogeneo/ hetero-normative and beg a tholic stutn is not the easit environment for queer stunts.

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label. Bee “gay” impli an embracg of the gay liftyle — gay bars, gay pri paras, perhaps multiple sex partners, or even anonymo sex. Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia.

For example, gay men the Mormon fah are moral nflict.

CAN PEOPLE STOP BEG GAY?

Durg the’90s, I beme a “gay-affirmative therapist. I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them. Beg a gay man, I was tryg to brg them to where I was at.

Durg this time, a man don’t see himself as gay, only homosexual.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

The term gay is too affirmative, and they are not ready to accept .

AM I GAY?

I have treated many men who are of Mormon, Orthodox Jewish, Catholic, and other religns who thk of homosexualy as a pathology.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

Their pa is excciatg, but I honor their bravery riskg losg everythg to ensure they have a qualy life as a gay man. They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg.

Beg homosexual, gay, or havg same-sex attractn is not sex addictn, and should never be treated as such. Hetero-Emotnal and Homosexual. I thk of them as beg hetero-emotnal homosexuals.

Relig fundamentalists who believe homosexualy is a matter of choice nsir obv that gay people n reverse their cisns. The oppose mp argu that gays are "born that way, " and th that sexual reorientatn therapy is effective, as well as cel and the latter perspective hs closer to the mark, the science of sexualy supports a more measured stance.

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