Internatnal OCD Foundatn | How Do I Know I’m Not Really Gay/Straight?

Contents:

• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• CAN PEOPLE STOP BEG GAY?
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• AM I GAY?
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

I like guys but I don’t want to be gay.

How do I stop beg gay? You don’t need to be certa you are gay before talkg to someone or attendg an LGBTQ+ meetg.

I am a gay male.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

I have been out nearly 7 years now (age 16, sophomore year of HS). That week I told my iends and fay I was gay. It is very homogeneo/ hetero-normative and beg a tholic stutn is not the easit environment for queer stunts.

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label. Bee “gay” impli an embracg of the gay liftyle — gay bars, gay pri paras, perhaps multiple sex partners, or even anonymo sex.

CAN PEOPLE STOP BEG GAY?

Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia. For example, gay men the Mormon fah are moral nflict. Durg the’90s, I beme a “gay-affirmative therapist.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them.

Beg a gay man, I was tryg to brg them to where I was at.

Durg this time, a man don’t see himself as gay, only homosexual.

AM I GAY?

The term gay is too affirmative, and they are not ready to accept . I have treated many men who are of Mormon, Orthodox Jewish, Catholic, and other religns who thk of homosexualy as a pathology. Their pa is excciatg, but I honor their bravery riskg losg everythg to ensure they have a qualy life as a gay man.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight. Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg. Beg homosexual, gay, or havg same-sex attractn is not sex addictn, and should never be treated as such.

Hetero-Emotnal and Homosexual. I thk of them as beg hetero-emotnal homosexuals. Relig fundamentalists who believe homosexualy is a matter of choice nsir obv that gay people n reverse their cisns.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

The oppose mp argu that gays are "born that way, " and th that sexual reorientatn therapy is effective, as well as cel and the latter perspective hs closer to the mark, the science of sexualy supports a more measured stance. There are no verified s of formerly gay people pletely riddg themselv of same-sex attractn, but do appear possible for some people who are predisposed to same-sex attractn to expand their sexual repertoire — velop attractns for oppose-sex partners as well, and even opt for the oppose sex exclively. As Diamond noted January the Archiv of Sexual Behavr, femal' sexual fluidy may emerge om the fdg that, across the board, they are sexually aroed by imag of both men and women (whereas men are typilly aroed only by members of their preferred sex) erotic plasticy may expla why women wh same-sex predisposns report better succs adjtg to heterosexual liftyl than gay men do.

"Lastly, gay people aren't really "born that way" the sense of havg same-sex attractns om the moment of birth. Sexual orientatn cements around puberty, and acrdg to Gelf Rieger, a sexual orientatn rearcher at Cornell Universy, " is que possible that there are several fluenc on formg a homosexual orientatn.