"Do I Sound Gay?" | Psychology Today

Contents:

• THE GAY VOICE
• THIS IS WHY SOME MEN ‘SOUND GAY’ – EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT
• FILMMAKER AND SPEECH PATHOLOGIST WEIGH IN ON WHAT IT MEANS TO 'SOUND GAY'
• A DOCUMENTARIAN WONRS: 'DO I SOUND GAY?'
• WHAT'S THE LK BETWEEN HOMOSEXUALY AND HAVG A 'GAY VOICE'
• DO YOU SOUND GAY? WHAT OUR VOIC TELL – AND WHAT THEY DON’T
• WHAT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’
• "DO I SOUND GAY?"
• ‘WHO SOUNDS GAY?’
• REVIEW: ‘DO I SOUND GAY?’ EXAM A MANNER OF SPEAKG
• THE SUBTLE LANGUAGE OF SOUNDG GAY
• THIS GUY JT WANTS TO KNOW IF HE SOUNDS GAY

THE GAY VOICE

After intifyg phoic characteristics that seem to make a man’s voice sound gay, their bt hunch is that some gay men may subnscly adopt certa female speech patterns.

THIS IS WHY SOME MEN ‘SOUND GAY’ – EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT

They want to know how men acquire this manner of speakg, and why – pecially when society so often stigmatiz those wh gay-soundg voic. " In his new film, Do I Sound Gay?, Thorpe search for the orig of that stereotype and documents his own attempts to sound "ls gay" by workg wh speech pathologist San Sank.

"David was the first person who me to me who was upont right om the begng about soundg gay and what he wanted to do, " Sank tells Gross. Interview Highlights On beg self-nsc about soundg gay Thorpe: I grew up the '80s, which was a ls acceptg time for LGBT people. And as Dan Savage says the movie, effemate kids, whether they are gay or straight, get persecuted for, kd of, how they walk and how they talk....

On where the "gay sound" om Thorpe: If I have to speculate about where the so-lled gay voice om, for me, both the most predomant answers work.

FILMMAKER AND SPEECH PATHOLOGIST WEIGH IN ON WHAT IT MEANS TO 'SOUND GAY'

At the same time, I totally get that when I me out, I wanted to be regnized as gay; I wanted the world to know I was gay and I wanted to f to this existg muny, so I thk my voice really did change after I me out.

What I took om San was more an easy way of speakg and an abily to speak thentilly rather than changg my style to sound ls gay. On Thorpe's gay iends also stgglg to accept their voic Thorpe: One of the revelatns of makg this film was that this is somethg that had always bothered me and every time, basilly, I talk to a gay man I would fd out that he also had eher spent a lot of time thkg about his voice or ed to be self-nsc about his voice or still felt self-nsc about his voice.

I don't want to offend anyone wh this qutn but seems like gay people (pecially men) some tim have a certa tonaly to their voice that is siar to other gay guys. Sorry if I sound homophobic or some sh, I am really not, but that's jt a qutn that crossed my md and I n't thk of a reasonable explanatn.

A DOCUMENTARIAN WONRS: 'DO I SOUND GAY?'

In the wake of a bad breakup, journalist and gay activist David Thorpe did what many of do: He took tense ventory of his own flaws and securi, then stepped up one of them to a Thg. A good Thg, as turns out, whose end rult is the charmg documentary Do I Sound Gay?, which Thorpe wryly treats his anxieti about his "gay" voice as an exercise self-improvement, and wds up wh a pellg portra of ternalized homophobia and liberatn. Back South Carola's Bible Belt, where Thorpe grew up, relativ and childhood iends pot out that he didn't sound gay until he me out of the closet llege.

Friends wh his tight-kn gay circle are more divid: Some nfs to hatg their lispg, anoidal voic; others own gayspeak wh varyg gre of fiance and jubilatn.

WHAT'S THE LK BETWEEN HOMOSEXUALY AND HAVG A 'GAY VOICE'

The explanatn that pleas him most is that gay speech has s origs ls blogy or nro-chemistry than early female fluence: Men who grow up mostly around women tend to mimic feme speech styl — which, Thorpe argu, would expla why some straight men sound gay, and why gays who grow up wh brothers often velop basso profundos.

Is very good on the way many gay men who were bullied as children have learned to turn the hatred of others ward, which helps expla s of gay hyper-masculy and ternal ostracism of effemate men. Takg his cue om the swellg ranks of gay celebri (among them Gee Takei, Margaret Cho and the effably funny and ndid David Sedaris) who are willg to speak on mera about liberatg themselv om their own fears, Thorpe realiz he's been askg the wrong qutns.

DO YOU SOUND GAY? WHAT OUR VOIC TELL – AND WHAT THEY DON’T

While he was by tryg to iron out his gay voice, New York State legalized gay marriage, and the film's release jt weeks after the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage across the natn. Stay ahead of the trend fashn and beyond wh our ee weekly Liftyle Ed newsletterStay ahead of the trend fashn and beyond wh our ee weekly Liftyle Ed newsletter After a particularly bad break-up, David Thorpe, a journalist who’s his forti, cid to take his md off thgs by leavg his ts his Manhattan apartment and drowng his sorrows at a gay beach town on Fire Island. ”It was the start of a four-year journey of self-disvery durg which Thorpe tried to figure out his so-lled “gay voice”: when did he start talkg that way, what ed , how exactly did sound, and, fally, what was so wrong wh anyway?

WHAT MEANS TO ‘SOUND GAY’

The rults n be seen his new documentary, Do I Sound Gay?, which featur terviews wh lguists, amics, fay and iends, as well as a number of high-profile personali, cludg David Sedaris and Dan Savage. Another expert that he terviews for the film is a Canadian lguist who studi vol microvariatns between gay and straight men and speculat that many gay men more readily pick up speech s om women. Intertgly, a straight iend of Thorpe’s has what is nsired to be an archetypal “gay voice” and turns that out he was raised entirely by women at an ashram.

"DO I SOUND GAY?"

When he was younger, Thorpe not, the only “gay voic” on televisn were those belongg to figur such as Liberace and Charl Nelson Reilly, the host of The Match Game. He also wonrs if Disney villas such as Aladd’s Jafar and The Ln Kg’s Sr, wh their soft, threateng voic, have ma young people associate soundg gay wh beg evil. It pleas him to hear so many more “gay voic” reprented today, pecially young vloggers such as Lohanthony and Tyler Oakley.

“Growg up, I was always told that what was wrong wh me was that I was gay, so ’s not hard to unrstand that a moment of vulnerabily I might also feel secure about my sexualy. As Dan Savage, the activist who found the It Gets Better mpaign, says the film: “What’s wrong wh soundg like you are who you are – a gay man?

‘WHO SOUNDS GAY?’

You haven’t – at least that moment, at that party – exhibed the mannerisms lked many people’s mds wh male homosexualy. The notn you would be pleased to fd this out reveals an unthkg prejudice: how rehg is to meet a gay who don’t make a meal of . And y, the stretchg out of “sibilant” nsonants such as s and z (image Kenh Williams sayg “She sells sea shells on the sea shore” and you’re sort of there) what about gay women?

There are a few theori knockg around as to why this might be: Arnold Zwicky, his mply tled 1994 paper Two Lavenr Issu for Lguists, suggts that: “For many lbians, what is most important is intifitn wh the muny of women – while for many gay men, what is most important is distancg themselv om straight men. Third: this style of speakg isn’t simply an importatn of “feme” quali to male speech, although that appears to be what a lot of people, we’re still left wh the qutn of why a gay male voice might emerge.

When dis, a subversive dance movement that spoke to black people and women and gays, broke through, was vilified by mastream rock lovers for beg ksch and plastic. If there are any lsons to be learned here, vol or otherwise, ’s surely that dis was ol, mp is fe and “soundg gay” is jt however gay people happen to sound. ” It’s a fascatg and nuanced film, which the filmmaker, David Thorpe,  his feelgs about his voice to look at attus toward homosexualy.

REVIEW: ‘DO I SOUND GAY?’ EXAM A MANNER OF SPEAKG

It rais a plited discsn about gay pri, lgerg homophobia, disguised misogyny, and the extent to which we all alter the image that we prent to the the film begs, Thorpe is disturbed bee he realiz he don’t like his voice any more. He rri out thoughtful nversatns wh his iends and proment gay and lbian figur – cludg Gee Takei, David Sedaris, Dan Savage, Margaret Cho and Don Lemon – about what means to “sound gay. But so dog, v everyone to thk about what their own voice says about who they are, where they me om, and where they want to science of “the gay voice”To start wh, the stereotypil “gay voice” isn’t necsarily a study published 2003, Ron Smyth, a lguist at the Universy of Toronto, found that participants readily separated rerdgs of 25 diverse voic to those who “sound gay” and those who “sound straight.

THE SUBTLE LANGUAGE OF SOUNDG GAY

” People picked up on featur of the gay stereotype – voic that were higher and more melod were more often labeled "gay.

In Smyth's study, people rrectly gused a man’s sexualy about 60 percent of the time, only a ltle better than another small study at the Universy of Hawaii, both gay and straight listeners were equally as likely to misclassify people as gay or straight.

In fact, the straight men wh so-lled gay voic weren't aware that people thought they sound gay at turns out that what most people perceive as a stereotypil "gay voice" is jt a male voice that sounds more stereotypilly feme -- maly, higher pched and more melod. And that often has more to do wh the voic that a person intified wh as they grew up, rather than and other rearchers say some men, both gay and straight, velop more feme voic bee they are fluenced by women when they are young. If you've ever found yourself talkg to someone wh a different accent and gradually emulatg them, you're faiar wh the gay men, adoptg what's lled "mp" -- a theatril gay accent, like an old-school starlet -- n be a way of embracg their inty.

THIS GUY JT WANTS TO KNOW IF HE SOUNDS GAY

“As a hly mted gay man, I learned how mpg up uld be liberatg, ” Thorpe says the there may be more subtle ways that sexualy and our sense of self fluence our voic. Benjam Munson, who studi language and speech at the Universy of Mnota, found one study that gay men did e a slightly different pronunciatn than straight men. However, the difference wasn’t the stereotypil “gay voice, ” but a tenncy to e a more ntemporary, pan-Amerin accent, rather than the old-fashned Mnota accent (like  the movie “Fargo") says that the gay men he terviewed may have wanted to nvey an inty that is more stylish and cuttg edge.

“As speakers of a language, we have lots of eedom how we pronounce sounds … People explo that variatn to create different social meangs, " he those who are proud n still feel stigma“Do I Sound Gay? ” shows that even men who are out and proud may still rry wh them some shame about havg a stereotypil “gay voice, ” even if those feelgs are Savage, a gay activist and thor, argu  the film that this is a natural nsequence of boys beg bullied for walkg and talkg a certa way when they are young.

Misogyny and homophobia are “evil tws, ” which both have a root sexism and valug thgs that are female, says Thorpe. “[B]ee we do still live a misogynist and sexist culture, people cricize men who are effemate, whether or not they are gay, " says Thorpse.