How do queer men navigate an stutn not signed for them? Therapist Michael Dale Kimmel offers clu his new book, The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage. Check out an exclive excerpt below.
Contents:
- CALIFORNIA VOTERS WILL BE ASKED TO REAFFIRM GAY MARRIAGE PROTECTNS ON 2024 BALLOT
- MANY BRONS HAVE CHANGED THEIR MDS ON GAY MARRIAGE
- CALIFORNIA STILL HAS AN ANTI-GAY MARRIAGE LAW ON THE BOOKS. VOTERS ULD REMOVE NEXT YEAR
- GAY MEN MONOGAMO RELATNSHIPS: WHAT WORKS?
- A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE
- GAY MEN AND MONOGAMY: DO WORK?
- “CHASTE HARLOTS” ON GAY MONOGAMY ISKCON
- NEW TRENDS GAY MALE RELATNSHIPS: THE CHOIC STUDY
- GAY MONOGAMY: I LOVE YOU BUT I N'T HAVE SEX WH ONLY YOU
- SHOULD GAY MARRIAGE BE LEGAL?
CALIFORNIA VOTERS WILL BE ASKED TO REAFFIRM GAY MARRIAGE PROTECTNS ON 2024 BALLOT
California voters will be asked to affirm gay marriage rights on the 2024 ballot followg Prop. 8 ncerns about the state nstutn. * gay monogamy *
Acrdg to the Texas judicial missn’s 2019 warng, Hensley referred gay upl who wanted her to pri over their marriage ceremony to other people who would officiate.
The ph to refe marriage to clu two persons of the same sex has relied heavily upon the perceived unfairns of nyg the legal and social stabily of marriage to mted, monogamo, same-sex example, their documentary, “Seventh-Gay Adventists, ” filmmakers Daneen Akers and Stephen Ayer follow three gay upl (cludg two male upl) through their daily activi, implyg that the upl are monogamo relatnships jt like a heterosexual married uple. Male homosexuals are very seldom monogamo; they overwhelmgly reject the type of relatnship most heterosexuals thk of when they thk of marriage: a long-term relatnship where sexual activy is strictly limed to one's marriage partner.
MANY BRONS HAVE CHANGED THEIR MDS ON GAY MARRIAGE
As assiatn to more mastream culture creas, many gay men are shiftg their attus on non-tradnal relatnships—beg ls acceptg of them. * gay monogamy *
A classic, large-sle study by Bell and Weberg nducted durg the 1970s and published by the Ksey Instute found that forty-three percent (43%) of whe male homosexuals had had sex wh 500 or more partners, and twenty-eight percent (28%) had had sex wh 1, 000 or more partners.
”[2] In their 1997 study of the sexual profil of 2, 583 olr homosexuals published the Journal of Sex Rearch, Pl Van Ven, et al., found that “the modal range for number of sexual partners was 101-500.
CALIFORNIA STILL HAS AN ANTI-GAY MARRIAGE LAW ON THE BOOKS. VOTERS ULD REMOVE NEXT YEAR
Hoe legislatn difyg protectns for gay marriage passed spe the fact that a big majory of the Hoe Republin uc opposed . * gay monogamy *
Only 29% of male homosexuals who scribed themselv as beg a long-term relatnship had been a relatnship lastg more than seven years, and only 9% had been a relatnship lastg more than 15 years.
GAY MEN MONOGAMO RELATNSHIPS: WHAT WORKS?
* gay monogamy *
Psychologist) reported that, a study of 156 mal homosexual relatnships lastg om one to thirty-seven years, only seven upl had a totally exclive sexual relatnship, and the men had been together ls than five years. [8] McWhirter and Mattison nsir monogamy to be a homophobic stage that gay upl pass through and out of; other words, McWhirter and Mattison nsir promiscuy to be fnal to male study of fahfulns marriage reported that 75% of men and 85% of women self-reported as beg fahful to their spoe, but a siar study of homosexual men, only 4.
A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE
A nversatn about open and monogamo marriage, for gay men and for all. * gay monogamy *
Dannecker terviewed 900 male rponnts livg a “steady” relatnship Bonn, Germany, and 83 percent of them (747 men) said that they had had equent homosexual ntacts outsi their “steady” relatnship wh the past 12 after study has found that even so-lled “mted relatnships, ” male homosexuals are not sexually exclive.
GAY MEN AND MONOGAMY: DO WORK?
Can gay men and monogamo relatnships really succeed together? Read my latt post to fd out what the latt rearch is sayg. * gay monogamy *
”Blake Spears and Lanz Lowen (both homosexuals and amic rearchers) recently published a study entled, “Beyond Monogamy: Lsons om Long-term Male Coupl Non-Monogamo Relatnships. ” Like every other rearcher who has studied the phenomenon, they found plenty of non-monogamo gay male upl, but most did not want to be terviewed: “We found long-term non-monogamo upl rather easily, but very few were willg to participate. And is not beg acknowledged by the homosexual rights lobby, bee pots out that behavr— the se of male homosexuals, extreme promiscuy—not mere same-sex attractn, is what is most problematic about the “homosexual liftyle.
“CHASTE HARLOTS” ON GAY MONOGAMY ISKCON
The Choic study foc on gay men ag 18-40 and explor attus and practic about monogamy and marriage. * gay monogamy *
A study of homosexual relatnships Amsterdam found that steady partners ntribute more than sual partners to HIV fectn, bee gays tend to engage risky behavr (unprotected anal terurse) more often wh steady partners than wh sual partners. Schwartz and Blumste also reported that lbian upl seemed more limed their range of sexual techniqu, and ls sexual as upl and as dividuals, than eher heterosexual upl or homosexual mal.
7:2-5) In short, all people mt at tim ny, modify, or ntrol their sexual natur for the benef of their fai and the larger male homosexual culture will not accept lims on ttosterone-driven sual sex, even wh “mted relatnships.
NEW TRENDS GAY MALE RELATNSHIPS: THE CHOIC STUDY
Assumg isomorphism between heterosexual and homosexual relatnships may preclu a ntextual unrstandg of gay male monogamy and extra-dyadic sex that may otherwise rema perfunctory. This study sought to explore the experienc of gay men who engaged extra-dyadic sex outsi their primar … * gay monogamy *
” It is potls to refe marriage to clu same-sex upl bee male homosexuals, who prise two-thirds of all homosexuals, have monstrated that they will not accept monogamy or sexual exclivy. But arguably the fact that the 1970s behavr was unnstraed by the threat of a fatal and curable illns means that perhaps the extraordarily large numbers of sexual partners are an accurate picture of how gay mal will act if left to their own preferenc. [10]Maria Xiridou, et al, "The Contributn of Steady and Casual Partnerships to the Incince of HIV Infectn among Homosexual Men Amsterdam, " AIDS 17 (2003): 1031.
GAY MONOGAMY: I LOVE YOU BUT I N'T HAVE SEX WH ONLY YOU
” Vlence and Victims, 12 (1), 87-98; Waldner-Hgd, Lisa K., Van Gratch, Lda, & Magr, Brian (1997) “Victimizatn and perpetratn rat of vlence gay and lbian relatnships: Genr issu explored” Vlence and Victims, 12 (2), 173-184; Wt, Carolyn M (1998), “Leavg a send closet: Outg partner vlence same-sex upl, ” Jana L.
SHOULD GAY MARRIAGE BE LEGAL?
I’ve heard upl, gay and straight, voice their anxiety that their partner liked the other person more, enjoyed some sexual behavr om the other person more, and so on. Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love.
There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia.