Gay Men and Straight Men as Friends | Psychology Today

Contents:

• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• IS FLIRTG BETWEEN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN OKAY?
• KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIEND
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• AS A STRAIGHT MAN, HOW N I POLELY STOP MY GAY IEND FLIRTG WH ME?
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

Sex the Cy, Will and Grace), though a lot ls has been said about how gay and straight men regnize and negotiate the distct challeng, plitns, and rewards of their iendships.

Acrdg to Garfield, among the many obstacl to male-male platonic timacy, fear of homosexualy looms large.

IS FLIRTG BETWEEN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN OKAY?

Straight men et that if they get too close, others will see them as gay; which their mds means feme (horrors! S., before there was such a thg as a gay inty, some straight men would, wh ltle shame, engage sexual ntact wh other men (ually allowg themselv to be fellated) when female partners were otherwise unavailable (see Gee Chncey’s semal book, Gay New York: Genr, Urban Culture, and the Makg of the Gay Male World 1890-1940) and there is good reason to believe this still occurs other untri and cultur.

KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIEND

The mid 20th century this behavr beme associated wh gay inty, new at the time and seen as crimal and then sick. As a rult of this behavr-inty lk, sexual ngrs between gay and straight men creased nsirably, or at least went unrground.

Gay men have suffered physil, social, and psychologil abe at the hands of heterosexually intified mal who, thanks to homophobia and heterosexism, felt fully jtified flictg the terrors. This legacy of vlence, both physil and psychologil, flicted by straight men toward those of who are gay naturally fuels our utn and distst at the thought of beiendg them. As turns out, the gay iend worried that if he hugged too closely his iend would thk he was g on to him.

For the straight guy, iendship wh a gay man offers the opportuny to learn important lsons about masculy, male inty, sexual orientatn, and diversy. As the quote go: You n never have too many iends—and iendships between gay and straight guys n be healg and uniquely satisfyg for all volved. • Could a straight guy get dnk enough to fool around wh another guy jt bee “felt good”, or is more likely that he has some gay/bi/cur feelgs that perhaps he’s been reprsg?

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

Even acuntg for the fact that he might remember some of what happened, don't mean he's bisexual, secretly gay, or that you're his magil "exceptn.

I don't know many gay men (myself clud) who hasn't veloped a csh or had feelgs for a straight guy - cludg straight iends.

AS A STRAIGHT MAN, HOW N I POLELY STOP MY GAY IEND FLIRTG WH ME?

I've seen other gay guys that fell for a straight guy (typilly a iend) and wanted to lu themselv to believg that a relatnship was possible.

It don't bother me that I fooled around wh another guy (other than the fact I enabled him to cheat); I'm gay after all.

Ok, you experienced your straight csh g te, so now back off and al wh the 100 percent gays or bis that are sgle. You know your iend is gay, so your bra now se that as an opportuny to have that physil need fulfilled. I’ve told you that I don’t thk this mak you gay or even bi, but ’s not like you n jt prt off this post and show to your girliend as proof.

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

So until they fd themselv a siar suatn, they don’t see how n be possible for a straight person to have a sexual experience wh a person of the same sex and not be gay or at least bisexual. I read this thread earlier and told one of my very few gay iends about and he said the same thg had happened to him.

For a long time, iendships between gay men and straight men – what some now ll “bromosexual” iendships – were unmon.