What to Do When Your Child Says: "I'm Gay" | Psychology Today

Contents:

• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• WHAT TO DO IF YOU THK YOUR CHILD IS GAYBY ANWH SAHOO APR 20, 2017SHARE I’VE WRTEN BEFORE ABOUT HOW IMPORTANT IS FOR PARENTS TO REACT SENSIVELY WHEN KIDS E OUT. I WROTE OM THE ASSUMPTN THAT THE NEWS THE CHILD IS GAY WOULD E AS A SURPRISE, IF NOT A SHOCK, AS WAS FOR MY PARENTS. BUT SOME PARENTS MIGHT GUS A CHILD’S SEXUALY BEFORE THE CHILD KNOWS (OR IS FORTABLE EXPRSG) . WHAT DO YOU DO THEN?WELL, THE MOST IMPORTANT THG IS TO SHOW THAT YOUR LOVE AND UNRSTANDG IS UNNDNAL. BEYOND THAT, HERE ARE SOME TIPS.I THK MY CHILD IS GAY. WHAT DO I DO?FIRST, LET’S TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON’T DO.DON’T JUMP TO NCLNS IF YOU THK YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY.WHILE I LARGELY DID F TO THE STEREOTYPIL RITURE OF A GAY MAN, NOT EVERY GAY PERSON DO. STEREOTYP AREN’T NECSARILY WRONG, BUT THEY ARE PLETE; THERE ARE MANY WAYS OF BEG. GAY MIGHT BE EFFEMATE, OR GAY ULD BE STRONG, DAC, POWERFUL AND BETIFUL – JT LIKE STRAIGHT ULD BE ANY OF THOSE THGS. DON’T LET THE MOST MON REPRENTATN OF HOMOSEXUALY – OR HETEROSEXUALY — MAKE YOU JUMP TO NCLNS ABOUT THE SEXUAL ORIENTATN OF YOUR CHILD. THERE ARE NO SYMPTOMS OF GAY THAT YOU N WATCH OUT FOR, BEE BEG GAY ISN’T A DISORR; KIDS WHO ARE GAY AND KIDS WHO ARE STRAIGHT E ALL SHAP, SIZ AND PERSONALI.DON’T SPECULATE ABOUT YOUR KID’S SEXUALY TO OTHERS. YOUR KID’S SEXUALY IS A SENSIVE TOPIC AND EXTREMELY PRIVATE FOR YOUR CHILD. EVEN IF HE (OR SHE) IS FORTABLE WH HIS SEXUALY, HE WOULDN’T NECSARILY WANT TO BE OUT TO YOUR IENDS AND NEIGHBOURS. GAY KIDS – AND KIDS PEOPLE THK ARE GAY, WHETHER THEY ARE OR NOT – FACE A LOT OF SENSIVE QUTNS AND MENTS, NOT TO MENTN BULLYG. THK: WOULD YOU LIKE PEOPLE WHISPERG ABOUT WHO YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE ATTRACTED TO? LET KIDS CHOOSE WHOM THEY WISH TO E OUT TO.DON’T ASK.IT MIGHT SEEM LOGIL: HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY IF YOU DON’T ASK? BUT THAT’S NOT A GOOD MOVE. FIRST, THERE ARE A LN WAYS TO GO ABOUT MORE TACTFULLY (SEE BELOW). AND SEND, YOUR CHILD MAY NOT KNOW OR BE FULLY FORTABLE THEIR SEXUALY – SO THEY MIGHT NOT HAVE AN ANSWER, BUT STILL FEEL PRSURE TO GIVE ONE.WHEN I REALIZED I MIGHT BE GAY, AT AGE 16, I’D OFTEN VEHEMENTLY OPPOSE HOMOSEXUALY MY NVERSATNS OR BSH UNR THE RPET. THAT’S BEE I WAS REPEATG THE ATTUS I HAD BEEN NURTURED . (THE TERM ‘HOMOSEXUALY’ NEVER EXISTED MY VOBULARY TILL I WAS 13!) MOST OF HAVE LIVED OUR LIV A HETERO-NORMATIVE SOCIETY, SO MIGHT TAKE TIME FOR GAY KIDS TO E TO TERMS WH HOMOSEXUALY.WHICH BRGS ME TO THE DO’S:DO GIVE YOUR CHILD REASON TO BELIEVE YOU’D ACCEPT THEM IF/WHEN THEY E OUT TO YOU. RATHER THAN ASK IF YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY, OR WATCH FOR SIGNS YOUR CHILD IS GAY, WHAT YOU  N DO (AND WHAT MY PARENTS DID, UNKNOWGLY) IS MAKE YOUR KID BELIEVE THAT G OUT TO PARENTS WOULD BE OK.ONE WAY TO DO IS BY WATCHG GAY-IENDLY MEDIA, LIKE THE SATYAMEV JAYATE EPISO ABOUT SEXUALY, DURG OR AFTER WHICH YOU N MENTN HOW BRAVE YOU THK GAZAL WAS FOR G TO TERMS WH HER TRANS INTY AND HOW YOU APPRECIATE HER PARENTS’ EFFORTS TO STAND BY HER SI. SIARLY, YOU ULD WATCH FILMS LIKE SUMMER MY VES, PRAYERS FOR BOBBY, OR TOUCH OF PK WHICH ARE ABOUT CHILDREN G OUT TO PARENTS. (IF YOUR NEW TASTE FILM DON’T PROMPT YOUR CHILD TO NFI, DON’T EAK OUT; THE SUBTLE MSAGE OF ACCEPTANCE YOU’RE SENDG IS MORE IMPORTANT.)ANOTHER WAY TO DO THIS IS BY MDG WHAT YOU SAY. USE SENSIVE AND UP-TO-DATE TERMS WHENEVER YOU TALK ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY. (IF YOU NEED HELP, CHECK OUT MY LGBTIQ DICTNARY FOR PARENTS!) AND YET ANOTHER WAY IS TO EXPOSE YOUR CHILD OM THE START TO SPIRG STORI OF LGBTIQ INS LIKE HARVEY MILK, FREDDIE MERCURY, AND ELLEN DEGENER.THIS WILL ALL GO A LONG WAY TO NVEYG TO YOUR CHILD THAT, IF THEY’RE NOT GAY, THERE’S STILL MUCH TO EMULATE THE ROLE MOLS; AND IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY, THEY N E OUT TO YOU “BEE ’S OKAY,” AS DEGENER PUT A 1997 TERVIEW WH OPRAH. (HER WHOLE TERVIEW IS WORTH A WATCH.)DO WATCH YOUR TONE OF VOICE. GAY OR STRAIGHT, TEENS PICK UP ON HOW YOU SAY SOMETHG, FAR MORE THAN WHAT YOU SAY. TALK TO THEM ABOUT SEXUALY – GAY OR STRAIGHT — LIKE YOU’RE DISCSG WHAT THEY’D WANT TO HAVE FOR DNER, WHOUT AN OUNCE OF JUDGMENT, RISN OR EVEN AWKWARDNS. IF YOUR KID SEEMS DISTERTED, DON’T FORCE , BUT LET THEM BRG UP IF AND WHEN THEY’RE FORTABLE.DO ASK YOURSELF: WHY DO I WANT TO KNOW IF MY CHILD IS GAY? A LOT OF PARENTS DON’T EXACTLY EXPECT THEIR KIDS TO BE GAY, SO ADAPTG PERSONAL EXPECTATNS AND DREAMS MIGHT BE DIFFICULT – BUT YOU DON’T NEED YOUR CHILD’S NFIRMATN TO DO . IF YOU WANT TO ASK SO YOU N REASSURE YOUR CHILD OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE, THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO DO (SEE ABOVE).IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHETHER YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY BEE YOU’RE WORRIED THEY’RE HAVG SEX, YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW WH WHAT GENR TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT SAFE SEXUAL PRACTIC AND HIV PREVENTN. IT’LL BE AWKWARD, BUT ’S IMPORTANT, SO GET OVER .IF YOU WANT TO KNOW BEE YOU’RE STGGLG TO ACCEPT THE POSSIBILY THAT YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY, NOW IS THE TIME TO NONT YOUR OWN PREJUDICE. IT MAY E AS A SURPRISE TO YOU; I’VE HEARD MANY OF MY CLASSMAT SAY, “OH, I SUPPORT HOMOSEXUALY, BUT MY KID BETTER NOT BE GAY!” IT DON’T REALLY WORK THAT WAY; YOU EHER DO ACCEPT HOMOSEXUALY, OR YOU DON’T. USE THIS OPPORTUNY TO ACTUALLY LIVE UP TO HOW YOU’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF YOURSELF.AND NSIR THIS: YOUR CHILD MAY WELL BE STGGLG AS MUCH OR MORE THAN YOU. ASKG ABOUT THEIR SEXUALY BEFORE THEY’RE READY IS MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU NEED, NOT ABOUT WHAT THEY NEED. THK OF A DIFFICULT MOMENT YOUR LIFE: DID YOU WELE OTHER PEOPLE’S QUTNS AT THAT TIME? DID YOU JT WANT TO FIGURE OUT YOURSELF AND MOVE ON?FALLY, WHETHER OR NOT YOU’RE 100% ACCEPTG, THE LAST TWO POTS ARE MOST IMPORTANT IF YOU THK YOUR CHILD IS GAY:DO MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD KNOWS THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN A PERSON’S SEXUALY. LET YOUR CHILD’S SEXUALY BE JT ONE PART OF WHO HE OR SHE IS. DO YOUR CHILD SEE YOU ONLY AS SOMEONE WHO IS ATTRACTED TO THE OPPOSE SEX? PROBABLY NOT. PROBABLY THEY SEE YOU AS A MOTHER OR FATHER, A SUCCSFUL PROFSNAL, A SUPPORTIVE IEND OR NEIGHBOUR, A GOOD CIZEN, BEE YOU ARE ALL THOSE THGS; GAY OR STRAIGHT, YOUR CHILD N BE ALL OF THOSE THGS AND MORE, TOO. DEFG KIDS BY WHOM THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO IS AS ARBRARY AND LIMG AS FG THEM BY THEIR SHOE SIZE. CELEBRATE ALL PARTS OF THEIR PERSONALY.DO TREAT THEM THE WAY YOU’VE ALWAYS TREATED THEM. YOUR CHILD DIDN’T JT TURN GAY OVERNIGHT. THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY. DEALG WH A GAY CHILD (OR ONE YOU THK MIGHT BE GAY) DON’T HAVE TO BE DIFFERENT OM ALG WH A STRAIGHT CHILD. WHY SHOULD YOUR SPECULATN – OR YOUR KNOWLEDGE, IF THEY’VE E OUT — CHANGE THE RELATNSHIP BETWEEN YOU?SHARE TAGS LGBTQIA+ | PRETEENS | SEXUALY | TEENS WRTEN BY ANWH SAHOO ANWH SAHOO IS A VORAC WRER, OPTIMIST AND A LOVER OF OLD-SCHOOL INDIAN ART, MIC AND FASHN. WHILE HE’S A FIRM BELIEVER PRACTILY, A PART OF HIM LOV LIVG A WORLD OF POSSIBILI. HE BLOGS AT THE EFFEMARE, A PARALLEL UNIVERSE WHERE HE GETS TO ILLTRATE THE UTOPIAN WORLD HE WANTS TO BE A PART OF. HE LOOKS AT LIFE AS A THRILLG MYSTERY NOVEL WRTEN BY GOD AND, SCE HIS NOVEL HAS ONLY STARTED, HE’D GO WH: ‘I AM STILL EVOLVG!’ SEE ALL ARTICL BY ANWHLATT SCIENCE ARTICL RISE OF THE CYBSFROM HEARG COLORS TO SEEG ULTRAVLET, IS ENHANCEMENT THE FUTURE OF HUMAN SENS?
• EARLY SIGNS TO TELL YOUR CHILD IS GAYTIMOFDIATHE DIFFICULT JOURNEYUNRSTANDG, ACKNOWLEDGG, AND SHARG ONE'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN WH THE WORLD, IS EASY FOR SOME, WHILE FOR OTHERS THE JOURNEY IS LONG AND DIFFICULT.GETTY-IMAGCOMG OUT ISN'T EASYGAY YOUTH OFTEN FACE THEIR SET OF CHALLENG AFTER G OUT ABOUT THEIR GENR PREFERENC.GETTY-IMAGTHE ROLE OF PARENTSAS PARENTS, ALL YOU N DO IS PROVI THEM WH LOVE AND SUPPORT. THIS N START OM AN EARLY AGE IF YOU N INTIFY THE SIGNS OF YOUR CHILD'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN.GETTY-IMAG​DRSG UPIT MAY SEEM STEREOTYPIL, BUT SOME REARCH SUGGTS THAT KIDS SHOW THEIR CLATN BY THE WAY THEY DRS UP. GETTY-IMAG​SPEECHAS PER A STUDY, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE SPEECH OF KIDS WHO ARE CLED TOWARDS THE SAME SEX. THE CHANGE THE TONE N EASILY BE TECTED EVEN WHEN THEY ARE FIVE YEARS OLD. GETTY-IMAG​TOYS PREFERENCEWHEN ROLE-PLAYG, IF A BOY OFTEN TAK THE FEME ROLE OR THE GIRL LIK TO PLAY ROUGH GAM, THEN YOU NEED TO PAY A LTLE ATTENTN. GETTY-IMAGYOU MAY ALSO LIKECOVID: WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR KID'S IMM...
• MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR KID IS GAY
• HOW CHRISTIAN PARENTS SHOULD RPOND TO THEIR CHILD'S GAY INTY CRISIS
• YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?
• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
• I’M GAY, BUT THAT DON’T MEAN MY DGHTER SHOULD BE
• WHEN MY DGHTER SAID, 'I'M GAY'
• HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD WHO IS QUTNG OR INTIFI AS LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENR, QUEER OR ASEXUAL (LGBTQA)

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

They immediately clocked as gay, while we immediately clocked them as we warmed up to another, one mom anxly said: "I have a qutn: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do. "For example, if someone the word "gay" place of "stupid, " remd them that the two are not terchangeable, and suggt they should say what they actually mean stead. "The rourc n help:PFLAG: The untry’s largt anizatn ung parents, fai, and alli wh people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and Spectm: Offers groups, trag, and rourc promotg genr sensivy and cln for all youthGLBT Natnal Rource Database: LGBTQ+ digal directory of rourcNatnal Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: Directory of therapists/unselors who are people of lorNatnal LGBTQ Task Force: The progrsive advocy arm of the LGBTQ+ movementDurg LGBTQ Pri Month, TODAY is sharg the muny’s history, pa, joy and what’s next for the movement.

When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns. As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child. Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups.

If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU THK YOUR CHILD IS GAYBY ANWH SAHOO APR 20, 2017SHARE I’VE WRTEN BEFORE ABOUT HOW IMPORTANT IS FOR PARENTS TO REACT SENSIVELY WHEN KIDS E OUT. I WROTE OM THE ASSUMPTN THAT THE NEWS THE CHILD IS GAY WOULD E AS A SURPRISE, IF NOT A SHOCK, AS WAS FOR MY PARENTS. BUT SOME PARENTS MIGHT GUS A CHILD’S SEXUALY BEFORE THE CHILD KNOWS (OR IS FORTABLE EXPRSG) . WHAT DO YOU DO THEN?WELL, THE MOST IMPORTANT THG IS TO SHOW THAT YOUR LOVE AND UNRSTANDG IS UNNDNAL. BEYOND THAT, HERE ARE SOME TIPS.I THK MY CHILD IS GAY. WHAT DO I DO?FIRST, LET’S TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON’T DO.DON’T JUMP TO NCLNS IF YOU THK YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY.WHILE I LARGELY DID F TO THE STEREOTYPIL RITURE OF A GAY MAN, NOT EVERY GAY PERSON DO. STEREOTYP AREN’T NECSARILY WRONG, BUT THEY ARE PLETE; THERE ARE MANY WAYS OF BEG. GAY MIGHT BE EFFEMATE, OR GAY ULD BE STRONG, DAC, POWERFUL AND BETIFUL – JT LIKE STRAIGHT ULD BE ANY OF THOSE THGS. DON’T LET THE MOST MON REPRENTATN OF HOMOSEXUALY – OR HETEROSEXUALY — MAKE YOU JUMP TO NCLNS ABOUT THE SEXUAL ORIENTATN OF YOUR CHILD. THERE ARE NO SYMPTOMS OF GAY THAT YOU N WATCH OUT FOR, BEE BEG GAY ISN’T A DISORR; KIDS WHO ARE GAY AND KIDS WHO ARE STRAIGHT E ALL SHAP, SIZ AND PERSONALI.DON’T SPECULATE ABOUT YOUR KID’S SEXUALY TO OTHERS. YOUR KID’S SEXUALY IS A SENSIVE TOPIC AND EXTREMELY PRIVATE FOR YOUR CHILD. EVEN IF HE (OR SHE) IS FORTABLE WH HIS SEXUALY, HE WOULDN’T NECSARILY WANT TO BE OUT TO YOUR IENDS AND NEIGHBOURS. GAY KIDS – AND KIDS PEOPLE THK ARE GAY, WHETHER THEY ARE OR NOT – FACE A LOT OF SENSIVE QUTNS AND MENTS, NOT TO MENTN BULLYG. THK: WOULD YOU LIKE PEOPLE WHISPERG ABOUT WHO YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE ATTRACTED TO? LET KIDS CHOOSE WHOM THEY WISH TO E OUT TO.DON’T ASK.IT MIGHT SEEM LOGIL: HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY IF YOU DON’T ASK? BUT THAT’S NOT A GOOD MOVE. FIRST, THERE ARE A LN WAYS TO GO ABOUT MORE TACTFULLY (SEE BELOW). AND SEND, YOUR CHILD MAY NOT KNOW OR BE FULLY FORTABLE THEIR SEXUALY – SO THEY MIGHT NOT HAVE AN ANSWER, BUT STILL FEEL PRSURE TO GIVE ONE.WHEN I REALIZED I MIGHT BE GAY, AT AGE 16, I’D OFTEN VEHEMENTLY OPPOSE HOMOSEXUALY MY NVERSATNS OR BSH UNR THE RPET. THAT’S BEE I WAS REPEATG THE ATTUS I HAD BEEN NURTURED . (THE TERM ‘HOMOSEXUALY’ NEVER EXISTED MY VOBULARY TILL I WAS 13!) MOST OF HAVE LIVED OUR LIV A HETERO-NORMATIVE SOCIETY, SO MIGHT TAKE TIME FOR GAY KIDS TO E TO TERMS WH HOMOSEXUALY.WHICH BRGS ME TO THE DO’S:DO GIVE YOUR CHILD REASON TO BELIEVE YOU’D ACCEPT THEM IF/WHEN THEY E OUT TO YOU. RATHER THAN ASK IF YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY, OR WATCH FOR SIGNS YOUR CHILD IS GAY, WHAT YOU  N DO (AND WHAT MY PARENTS DID, UNKNOWGLY) IS MAKE YOUR KID BELIEVE THAT G OUT TO PARENTS WOULD BE OK.ONE WAY TO DO IS BY WATCHG GAY-IENDLY MEDIA, LIKE THE SATYAMEV JAYATE EPISO ABOUT SEXUALY, DURG OR AFTER WHICH YOU N MENTN HOW BRAVE YOU THK GAZAL WAS FOR G TO TERMS WH HER TRANS INTY AND HOW YOU APPRECIATE HER PARENTS’ EFFORTS TO STAND BY HER SI. SIARLY, YOU ULD WATCH FILMS LIKE SUMMER MY VES, PRAYERS FOR BOBBY, OR TOUCH OF PK WHICH ARE ABOUT CHILDREN G OUT TO PARENTS. (IF YOUR NEW TASTE FILM DON’T PROMPT YOUR CHILD TO NFI, DON’T EAK OUT; THE SUBTLE MSAGE OF ACCEPTANCE YOU’RE SENDG IS MORE IMPORTANT.)ANOTHER WAY TO DO THIS IS BY MDG WHAT YOU SAY. USE SENSIVE AND UP-TO-DATE TERMS WHENEVER YOU TALK ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY. (IF YOU NEED HELP, CHECK OUT MY LGBTIQ DICTNARY FOR PARENTS!) AND YET ANOTHER WAY IS TO EXPOSE YOUR CHILD OM THE START TO SPIRG STORI OF LGBTIQ INS LIKE HARVEY MILK, FREDDIE MERCURY, AND ELLEN DEGENER.THIS WILL ALL GO A LONG WAY TO NVEYG TO YOUR CHILD THAT, IF THEY’RE NOT GAY, THERE’S STILL MUCH TO EMULATE THE ROLE MOLS; AND IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY, THEY N E OUT TO YOU “BEE ’S OKAY,” AS DEGENER PUT A 1997 TERVIEW WH OPRAH. (HER WHOLE TERVIEW IS WORTH A WATCH.)DO WATCH YOUR TONE OF VOICE. GAY OR STRAIGHT, TEENS PICK UP ON HOW YOU SAY SOMETHG, FAR MORE THAN WHAT YOU SAY. TALK TO THEM ABOUT SEXUALY – GAY OR STRAIGHT — LIKE YOU’RE DISCSG WHAT THEY’D WANT TO HAVE FOR DNER, WHOUT AN OUNCE OF JUDGMENT, RISN OR EVEN AWKWARDNS. IF YOUR KID SEEMS DISTERTED, DON’T FORCE , BUT LET THEM BRG UP IF AND WHEN THEY’RE FORTABLE.DO ASK YOURSELF: WHY DO I WANT TO KNOW IF MY CHILD IS GAY? A LOT OF PARENTS DON’T EXACTLY EXPECT THEIR KIDS TO BE GAY, SO ADAPTG PERSONAL EXPECTATNS AND DREAMS MIGHT BE DIFFICULT – BUT YOU DON’T NEED YOUR CHILD’S NFIRMATN TO DO . IF YOU WANT TO ASK SO YOU N REASSURE YOUR CHILD OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE, THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO DO (SEE ABOVE).IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHETHER YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY BEE YOU’RE WORRIED THEY’RE HAVG SEX, YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW WH WHAT GENR TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT SAFE SEXUAL PRACTIC AND HIV PREVENTN. IT’LL BE AWKWARD, BUT ’S IMPORTANT, SO GET OVER .IF YOU WANT TO KNOW BEE YOU’RE STGGLG TO ACCEPT THE POSSIBILY THAT YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY, NOW IS THE TIME TO NONT YOUR OWN PREJUDICE. IT MAY E AS A SURPRISE TO YOU; I’VE HEARD MANY OF MY CLASSMAT SAY, “OH, I SUPPORT HOMOSEXUALY, BUT MY KID BETTER NOT BE GAY!” IT DON’T REALLY WORK THAT WAY; YOU EHER DO ACCEPT HOMOSEXUALY, OR YOU DON’T. USE THIS OPPORTUNY TO ACTUALLY LIVE UP TO HOW YOU’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF YOURSELF.AND NSIR THIS: YOUR CHILD MAY WELL BE STGGLG AS MUCH OR MORE THAN YOU. ASKG ABOUT THEIR SEXUALY BEFORE THEY’RE READY IS MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU NEED, NOT ABOUT WHAT THEY NEED. THK OF A DIFFICULT MOMENT YOUR LIFE: DID YOU WELE OTHER PEOPLE’S QUTNS AT THAT TIME? DID YOU JT WANT TO FIGURE OUT YOURSELF AND MOVE ON?FALLY, WHETHER OR NOT YOU’RE 100% ACCEPTG, THE LAST TWO POTS ARE MOST IMPORTANT IF YOU THK YOUR CHILD IS GAY:DO MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD KNOWS THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN A PERSON’S SEXUALY. LET YOUR CHILD’S SEXUALY BE JT ONE PART OF WHO HE OR SHE IS. DO YOUR CHILD SEE YOU ONLY AS SOMEONE WHO IS ATTRACTED TO THE OPPOSE SEX? PROBABLY NOT. PROBABLY THEY SEE YOU AS A MOTHER OR FATHER, A SUCCSFUL PROFSNAL, A SUPPORTIVE IEND OR NEIGHBOUR, A GOOD CIZEN, BEE YOU ARE ALL THOSE THGS; GAY OR STRAIGHT, YOUR CHILD N BE ALL OF THOSE THGS AND MORE, TOO. DEFG KIDS BY WHOM THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO IS AS ARBRARY AND LIMG AS FG THEM BY THEIR SHOE SIZE. CELEBRATE ALL PARTS OF THEIR PERSONALY.DO TREAT THEM THE WAY YOU’VE ALWAYS TREATED THEM. YOUR CHILD DIDN’T JT TURN GAY OVERNIGHT. THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY. DEALG WH A GAY CHILD (OR ONE YOU THK MIGHT BE GAY) DON’T HAVE TO BE DIFFERENT OM ALG WH A STRAIGHT CHILD. WHY SHOULD YOUR SPECULATN – OR YOUR KNOWLEDGE, IF THEY’VE E OUT — CHANGE THE RELATNSHIP BETWEEN YOU?SHARE TAGS LGBTQIA+ | PRETEENS | SEXUALY | TEENS WRTEN BY ANWH SAHOO ANWH SAHOO IS A VORAC WRER, OPTIMIST AND A LOVER OF OLD-SCHOOL INDIAN ART, MIC AND FASHN. WHILE HE’S A FIRM BELIEVER PRACTILY, A PART OF HIM LOV LIVG A WORLD OF POSSIBILI. HE BLOGS AT THE EFFEMARE, A PARALLEL UNIVERSE WHERE HE GETS TO ILLTRATE THE UTOPIAN WORLD HE WANTS TO BE A PART OF. HE LOOKS AT LIFE AS A THRILLG MYSTERY NOVEL WRTEN BY GOD AND, SCE HIS NOVEL HAS ONLY STARTED, HE’D GO WH: ‘I AM STILL EVOLVG!’ SEE ALL ARTICL BY ANWHLATT SCIENCE ARTICL RISE OF THE CYBSFROM HEARG COLORS TO SEEG ULTRAVLET, IS ENHANCEMENT THE FUTURE OF HUMAN SENS?

The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life. I wrote om the assumptn that the news the child is gay would e as a surprise, if not a shock, as was for my parents. First, let’s talk about what you don’t ’t jump to nclns if you thk your son is gay or dghter is I largely did f to the stereotypil riture of a gay man, not every gay person do.

EARLY SIGNS TO TELL YOUR CHILD IS GAYTIMOFDIATHE DIFFICULT JOURNEYUNRSTANDG, ACKNOWLEDGG, AND SHARG ONE'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN WH THE WORLD, IS EASY FOR SOME, WHILE FOR OTHERS THE JOURNEY IS LONG AND DIFFICULT.GETTY-IMAGCOMG OUT ISN'T EASYGAY YOUTH OFTEN FACE THEIR SET OF CHALLENG AFTER G OUT ABOUT THEIR GENR PREFERENC.GETTY-IMAGTHE ROLE OF PARENTSAS PARENTS, ALL YOU N DO IS PROVI THEM WH LOVE AND SUPPORT. THIS N START OM AN EARLY AGE IF YOU N INTIFY THE SIGNS OF YOUR CHILD'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN.GETTY-IMAG​DRSG UPIT MAY SEEM STEREOTYPIL, BUT SOME REARCH SUGGTS THAT KIDS SHOW THEIR CLATN BY THE WAY THEY DRS UP. GETTY-IMAG​SPEECHAS PER A STUDY, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE SPEECH OF KIDS WHO ARE CLED TOWARDS THE SAME SEX. THE CHANGE THE TONE N EASILY BE TECTED EVEN WHEN THEY ARE FIVE YEARS OLD. GETTY-IMAG​TOYS PREFERENCEWHEN ROLE-PLAYG, IF A BOY OFTEN TAK THE FEME ROLE OR THE GIRL LIK TO PLAY ROUGH GAM, THEN YOU NEED TO PAY A LTLE ATTENTN. GETTY-IMAGYOU MAY ALSO LIKECOVID: WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR KID'S IMM...

Gay might be effemate, or gay uld be strong, dac, powerful and betiful – jt like straight uld be any of those thgs. Don’t let the most mon reprentatn of homosexualy – or heterosexualy — make you jump to nclns about the sexual orientatn of your child. There are no symptoms of gay that you n watch out for, bee beg gay isn’t a disorr; kids who are gay and kids who are straight e all shap, siz and ’t speculate about your kid’s sexualy to others.

Gay kids – and kids people thk are gay, whether they are or not – face a lot of sensive qutns and ments, not to mentn bullyg.

Let kids choose whom they wish to e out ’t might seem logil: How do you know if your child is gay if you don’t ask?

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

And send, your child may not know or be fully fortable their sexualy – so they might not have an answer, but still feel prsure to give I realized I might be gay, at age 16, I’d often vehemently oppose homosexualy my nversatns or bsh unr the rpet.

) Most of have lived our liv a hetero-normative society, so might take time for gay kids to e to terms wh brgs me to the do’s:Do give your child reason to believe you’d accept them if/when they e out to you.

Rather than ask if your son is gay or dghter is gay, or watch for signs your child is gay, what you n do (and what my parents did, unknowgly) is make your kid believe that g out to parents would be way to do is by watchg gay-iendly media, like the Satyamev Jayate episo about sexualy, durg or after which you n mentn how brave you thk Gazal was for g to terms wh her trans inty and how you appreciate her parents’ efforts to stand by her si.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR KID IS GAY

) And yet another way is to expose your child om the start to spirg stori of LGBTIQ ins like Harvey Milk, Freddie Mercury, and Ellen will all go a long way to nveyg to your child that, if they’re not gay, there’s still much to emulate the role mols; and if your child is gay, they n e out to you “bee ’s okay, ” as DeGener put a 1997 terview wh Oprah. Talk to them about sexualy – gay or straight — like you’re discsg what they’d want to have for dner, whout an ounce of judgment, risn or even awkwardns.

If your kid seems disterted, don’t force , but let them brg up if and when they’re ask yourself: Why do I want to know if my child is gay? A lot of parents don’t exactly expect their kids to be gay, so adaptg personal expectatns and dreams might be difficult – but you don’t need your child’s nfirmatn to do . If you want to ask so you n reassure your child of your acceptance, there are better ways to do (see above) you want to know whether your son is gay or dghter is gay bee you’re worried they’re havg sex, you don’t need to know wh what genr to talk to them about safe sexual practic and HIV preventn.

HOW CHRISTIAN PARENTS SHOULD RPOND TO THEIR CHILD'S GAY INTY CRISIS

It’ll be awkward, but ’s important, so get over you want to know bee you’re stgglg to accept the possibily that your son is gay or dghter is gay, now is the time to nont your own prejudice.

YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?

It may e as a surprise to you; I’ve heard many of my classmat say, “Oh, I support homosexualy, but my kid better not be gay! Fally, whether or not you’re 100% acceptg, the last two pots are most important if you thk your child is gay:Do make sure your child knows there’s more to life than a person’s sexualy. Probably they see you as a mother or father, a succsful profsnal, a supportive iend or neighbour, a good cizen, bee you are all those thgs; gay or straight, your child n be all of those thgs and more, too.

As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart. Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this.

In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay. I barely saw anyone outsi of my immediate fay when I was growg up, and got a lot of dodgy relig teachgs dmmed to me, and one of the ma on was homophobia.

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

I am (fairly) succsful my job, have a wi circle of iends, and smoke the ocsnal, about ne months ago, my dghter me out to me as gay. Sce then, however, I’ve been thkg really awful, homophobic thoughts about her, stuff which I haven’t thought sce I left the example:1. I thk I’ve done a pretty good job hidg them, given she seems fortable discsg beg gay ont of me, but I’m terrified she’ll start pickg up a vibe.

The difficult journeyUnrstandg, acknowledgg, and sharg one's sexual orientatn wh the world, is easy for some, while for others the journey is long and out isn't easyGay youth often face their set of challeng after g out about their genr role of parentsAs parents, all you n do is provi them wh love and support. Getty-imag​Word of utnWhile the signs are generally nsired as an ditn, not all boys who play wh dolls are gay or not all girls who like to play rough are lbians.

She also shuts down whenever I brg up boyiends or boys general (and she’s never dated a boy, as far as I know), and seems bothered by anti-gay ments and sermons she hears. I’m worried that she might be gay and don’t feel fortable tellg bee of some ments her father has ma the past.

I’M GAY, BUT THAT DON’T MEAN MY DGHTER SHOULD BE

Nor n you make her ls gay by keepg quiet when her father or pastor says somethg homophobic or by repeatedly askg if she has a boyiend. Your dghter may be gay or bisexual, but she may also be straight and merely disturbed by the anti-gay sentiment your church po. Tell her that you regret never speakg up the past when you’ve heard anti-gay slurs, that you were wrong to let homophobia go unremarked-upon, and that your love for her is not ndnally based upon her prumed heterosexualy.

Support your dghter by overtly tellg her that you support her, not that you would still love her “even if she is gay. ” When you tell someone, “I still love you even if you are gay, ” what you are really sayg is this: “Obvly beg gay is worse than beg straight. There are many rourc available to you as you figure out how to parent a way gog forward that repudiat pulsory heterosexualy and anti-LGBTQ sentiments: nsir the work of Mel Whe, Soulforce, PFLAG, and the Gay Christian Network, among others.

WHEN MY DGHTER SAID, 'I'M GAY'

” He seemed oddly imprsed when he saw that I was the only whe person my group of llege iends, and he speaks of his one black, gay, Jewish iend like he’s some rare llectible. A new study nducted by rearchers at Gee Washgton Universy found that most parents of lbian, gay, and bisexual youth have difficulty adjtg after their kids e study says is one of the first to systematilly exame the experience of parents raisg lbian, gay and bisexual children. ”The study found that Ain Amerin and Lato parents have a harr time acceptg their lbian, gay and bisexual children, as do the parents of children who e out at a later study, which surveyed a much larger sample size than prev studi, nfirmed smaller studi that showed parents’ negative reactns tend to ease over time; the first two years are the harst for were no signifint differenc reactns between mother and father, the age of the parent, or the genr of the child.

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD WHO IS QUTNG OR INTIFI AS LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENR, QUEER OR ASEXUAL (LGBTQA)

The study did not exame the reactns for the parents of transgenr general, acceptance seems to be growg rapidly for lbian, gay and bisexual youth. Girls who play wh tcks and boys who play wh dolls) is a good predictor of whether or not a child will turn out to be a practicg homosexual.