Self-loathg among gay people is nothg new. We’re overwhelmed by | Matthew Todd | The Guardian

Contents:

• SELF-LOATHG AMONG GAY PEOPLE IS NOTHG NEW. WE’RE OVERWHELMED BY
• GAY MEN & RADIL SELF-LOVE
• SELF-LOATHG THE GAY MALE: CLOSE READG JACQU AND DAVID
• AMERI’S MOST SELF-LOATHG HOMOSEXUAL BLASTS ‘THE GAYG OF FOX NEWS’
• LIVG S? HOW GAY CATHOLICS MANAGE THEIR CONFLICTG SEXUAL AND RELIG INTI
• SURPRISE, SURPRISE: GAY REPUBLINS REALLY ARE SELF-LOATHG, STUDY FDS
• OUT OF THE CLOSET, NOT YET OUT OF THE HOE: GAY MEN’S EXPERIENC OF HOMONEGATIVY AND INTERNALIZED HOMONEGATIVY

SELF-LOATHG AMONG GAY PEOPLE IS NOTHG NEW. WE’RE OVERWHELMED BY

Sadly he wouldn’t be the gay people know the most homophobic school bully often pops up the lol gay bar a few years later, but there are wir exampl: Hollywood agents who bar clients om g out, historil figur such as Senator McCarthy’s anti-gay lawyer Roy Cohn, who mataed till the end that the Aids-related illns that killed him was liver ncer, the untls homophobic policians ught wh male rts.

So much foc has been on changg laws and enuragg footballers to e out or on promotg sexual eedom – all important thgs – that we’ve missed the huge ground-level sufferg of those stgglg wh the legacy of society’s gay shame, right unr our may not f the narrative we wish to promote but there are huge numbers of people gettg themselv to ser suatns whout enough support. Admtedly, n feel difficult to do this bee shame and rejectn the gay muny is like a vic cycle — we show up to gay spac wh our shame and rejectn, we pick up more shame and rejectn, and we dish right back onto others.

Whens Has Never Existed Peacefully Ameri | The Culture that Creat “PV Gays” | A Gay Man’s Manifto for Love, Healg, and Growth | The Power of Makg a Visn Board | The 12 Gays of Christmas Part 1 & Part 2 | Improvg Our Datg Experience | Dear Fathers, Your Gay Sons Are Hurtg | Puttg an End to Ghostg | Refg “Comg Out” | Anti-Blackns | Self-Care | Emotnal Numbg | Complited Fah | Body Confince | Body Image | Lonels | Self-Talk | Self-Worth Part 1. Neher this speculatn nor the d-psychologil, fx-expert terms which was relayed was a surprise, nor was Yufiy’s admissn the same terview that she had no ncrete evince of Mateen’s supposed homosexualy. The suggtn that the worst perpetrators of homophobia are secretly gay themselv is evable and tertwed wh the acts themselv; a slur routely aimed at nservative policians, fundamentalist preachers and macho posturers, and a punchle – to the extent that “Top five homophob who turned out to be gay” has bee a popular listicle formula onle.

GAY MEN & RADIL SELF-LOVE

Sure, there are ed scientific studi that claim to have tablished a rrelatn between homosexual aroal and homophobic beliefs; one of the latt was the Universy of Rochter’s April 2012 paper “Is some homophobia self-phobia? Of the var factors that might affect homophobia, seems this holds more fascatn than any other; s power as a cultural narrative seems hugely disproportnate relative to scientists’ ut exploratns to potential nnectns that have actually proven ltle, and certaly nothg like the blanket le that Yufiy imag to exist.

Fear and self-loathg are not nfed to vlent closet s and they are not rponsible for homophobic aggrsn; they are tegral to the liv of LGBT people as the nsequenc of livg a society where homophobia ns eper than anyone n hi their sexualy. It shouldn’t feel necsary to state this, but heterosexuals are more than pable of flictg anti-gay damage word or ed whout stemmg om any secret sir: they created the social stcture which homophobia thriv, after all.

SELF-LOATHG THE GAY MALE: CLOSE READG JACQU AND DAVID

Each of the piec of the puzzle was emblazoned across the mastream media; thkpiec proliferated about Mateen’s sexualy (none of which, cintally, even nsired bisexualy as a possibily: a narrative that sults homosexuals and eras bisexuals). Ls wily reported was the FBI’s announcement, two weeks after the Pulse massacre, that their extensive trawl through Mateen’s hard driv and onle activy, as well as an vtigatn rried out by the datg app Adam4Adam, they had disvered no evince whatsoever that Mateen was gay, secretly or otherwise.

Is forensilly trawlg through Mateen’s psyche to terme his precise motivatn really a necsy preventg another Mateen emergg – or is the sire to apportn blame jt a means for heterosexual society to absolve self once aga, to avoid thkg too hard about the homophobia so eply entrenched wh ? It’s not surprisg that a gay person raised a homophobic culture hat his own sexualy, and ternalized homophobia LGBTQ people to lash out agast each other bee other LGBTQ people remd of a part of ourselv that we hate. He claims that he’s a mol of “psychologil health, ” although he didn’t expla what a psychologilly healthy gay man is dog accg Fox News of supportg “romantic sodomy” bee don’t discrimate enough agast LGBTQ people.

AMERI’S MOST SELF-LOATHG HOMOSEXUAL BLASTS ‘THE GAYG OF FOX NEWS’

They ed a number of strategi to rencile nflictg inti, cludg limg their relig volvement, qutng terpretatn of the doctre, unrmg prits’ thory, tryg to reject homosexual attractn, puttg tst God’s plan, g profsnal help, and seekg acceptance om clergy. Keywords: Gay, Catholic, Spirualy, Relign, Sexual orientatn, IntyIntroductnSexual inty often exists a dynamic teractn wh other self-imag such as cultural background (ethnic and/or relig), which requir that dividuals manage multiple inti (Stevens, 2004).

O’Brien (2004) ed the term “double stigma” to scribe the experience of gay Christians who felt addnally rejected by other gays for beg openly relig, bee the LGBT environment remas cril and dismissive of Christiany. Another study by Mark (2008) showed that some gay Orthodox Jews seek sexual nversn therapi bee they feel great prsure to nform to munal norms, and experience tense guilt and betrayal if they fail to fulfill them. Exampl of that n be found studi on lbian Christians (Mahaffy, 1996), Mlim gay Iranians the UK (Taylor & Snowdon, 2014), or Canadian gay Jews (Schnoor, 2006) is, however, ltle rmatn on how people perceive the sts of reprsg eher spirual or sexual parts of their inty, what psychologil mechanisms they e to rce rultg tra-psychic tensn, and how this affects their well-beg.

It is possible that a siar strategy uld be ed by Christian gays, who are tght that is the sful act and not the sner who should be people rencile their sexual and relig inti on a social level different ways. For stance, gay Jews the study of Coyle and Rafal (2001), preferred not to disclose their sexual inty wh their Jewish muny and, like muters discsed by Brekh (2003), often avoid discsg relatnships or sexualy-related issu, and kept a very low profile.

LIVG S? HOW GAY CATHOLICS MANAGE THEIR CONFLICTG SEXUAL AND RELIG INTI

Participants this rearch scribed their relig socializatn and s impact on how they experienced their homosexualy, experienced tra-psychic nflicts and attempts to rolve first thor (IP) is non-Christian and, spe livg Poland, did not have a Catholic upbrgg. Participants perceived the topic of the study extremely meangful and were very willg to share their to meetg dividual participants, an terview gui was created wh areas to be discsed wh every participant and sample open-end qutns and prompts to explore their experienc of growg up a relig fay, disverg their sexualy, and meang attributed to homosexualy wh reference to their fah.

SURPRISE, SURPRISE: GAY REPUBLINS REALLY ARE SELF-LOATHG, STUDY FDS

Of participants wh themeTheme 1: Growg fah8Theme 2: Disverg one’s homosexualy8Theme 3: Experiencg a nflict Spirual dilemmas8 Fear of disappotg fay7 Anticipatg rejectn by the muny8Theme 4: Seekg peace Rcg relig volvement5 Qutng the terpretatn of the doctre4 Unrmg prits’ thory6 Tryg to reject homosexual attractn3 Puttg tst God’s plan6 Usg profsnal help5 Seekg acceptance om clergy6Theme 5: Comg-out a Catholic fay8Theme 6: Bearg the s5Theme 1: Growg FahAll participants scribed their relig socializatn at home, school, and the Church great tail. Rak and Arthur served as church mistrants and participated relig youth anizatns, tryg to embody their fah everyday life and follow Catholic prcipl distguishg what was right, moral, or sacred, and what was immoral or 2: Disverg One’s HomosexualyAll participants said that acknowledgg their attractn to same-sex was challengg and even challengg to their self-image. Borys relled startg to “disver somethg himself” but uld not unrstand why he was different om his classmat, and searched rmatn about homosexualy on the Inter to faiarize himself wh the topic and unrstand his own talked about boobs and ass all the time.

Matthew said a beiend prit suggted he might be gay, and Arthur regnized his gay sir when he fell love wh a 3: Experiencg a ConflictAll participants experienced at different moments of their liv tense nflicts between velopg sexual awarens and needs, and their relig beliefs and aspiratns. Anticipatg Rejectn by the Communy All participants referred to social stereotyp about gay people, strengthened by media reports which, they believed, often viewed gays as “effemate” or “mp” the way they drs, talk or move.

He thought people ascribed to the LGBT muny all kds of sful quali they would not like to fd 4: Seekg PeaceAll participants tried to rolve ner nflicts between their relig valu or aspiratns, and growg gay inty. Rcg Relig Involvement Participants said they were trated and angry, and felt guilty and rejected by the Catholic Church, bee s doctre forbids homosexual love and relatnships, treatg the as sful actns. – Konrad (age 27)Puttg Tst God’s Plan Tryg to accept one’s homosexualy often required rejectg the doctre prented by the Catholic Church, acrdg to which two men engagg sexual acts would be eternally nmned.

OUT OF THE CLOSET, NOT YET OUT OF THE HOE: GAY MEN’S EXPERIENC OF HOMONEGATIVY AND INTERNALIZED HOMONEGATIVY

– Rak (age 25)Intertgly, he refers to God as a person endowed wh certa quali; perhaps, the abily to five is somethg he would hope to receive om his parents if only he were able to disclose his sexual orientatn to Profsnal Help While four participants reported g some sort of unselg or psychotherapy bee they experienced a nflict associated wh their homosexualy and/or had problems wh g-out, only Borys said he expected support rather than tryg to change his sexual behavr. Siar experienc were reported by homosexual Jews (Coyle & Rafal, 2001; Mark, 2008; Schnoor, 2006), Mlims (Kugle, 2010), or Christians studied by Barton (2010), Mahaffy (1996), Thumma (1991), or Rodriguez and Ouellette (2000). Our participants also shared siar ncerns to gay Asians (Chan, 1989; Wang, Bih, & Brennan, 2009) or Jews (Mark, 2008), who worried about disappotg or beg rejected by fai for failg to fulfill social expectatns to tablish a “normal” fay, and procreate.

Lerature intifi strategi ed by gay people, such as tryg to reject their gay inty or relig inty, g partmentalizatn (an unnsc psychologil fense mechanism ed to avoid gnive dissonance by keepg two inti separate), or tegratg nflictg inti (Rodriguez & Ouellette, 2000). It is not clear which factors were more strsful for our participants—the reluctance toward gays attributed to the Church and s lears, or the attus toward sex and spirualy ascribed to signifint others. In this study, and others (Jaspal & Cnirella, 2010; Rodriguez & Ouellette, 2000; Schnoor, 2006; Schuck & Liddle, 2001; Thumma, 1991), gays report actively explorg their own spirualy and tryg to -legimize official terpretatns of the doctre, seekg alternative hermentics.

Although they felt physilly separate om their relig muny, they still endorsed s beliefs and exprsed doubts about relig nsequenc of the liftyle they had Benevolent ReappraisalOur study intifi exprsns of posive relig pg strategi (Pargament et al., 2000) ed by participants to rencile their gay and relig inti. They uld also be explored reference to personal image of God or numero psychologil variabl such as personaly tras, attachment style, or is ltle psychologil rearch on how gay Catholics brought up and livg highly relig environments tablish their sexual inty.