Lookg Through Childhood Diary Confirmed I Always Knew I Was Gay

Contents:

• READG MY DIARY OM WHEN I WAS A TEEN MA ME REALIZE I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS GAY
• "I REALIZED I WAS GAY": MEN WHO CAME OUT LATER IN LIFE ARE SHARG WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR THEM TO REVEAL THAT TTH AND LIVE AUTHENTILLY
• I ASKED GUYS WHEN THEY FIRST KNEW THEY WERE GAY
• WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE GAY?
• AM I GAY?
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

READG MY DIARY OM WHEN I WAS A TEEN MA ME REALIZE I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS GAY

Readg my diary nfirmed that I knew way before then that I was gay.

"I REALIZED I WAS GAY": MEN WHO CAME OUT LATER IN LIFE ARE SHARG WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR THEM TO REVEAL THAT TTH AND LIVE AUTHENTILLY

The clud stuffg my bra, buyg a thong, skny dippg, stealg, kissg a boy, havg cybersex, watchg porn, and wrg "bch" on a school the most movg tail was somethg I had no rellectn of — I always knew I was gay.

I am nfint that, had the Deidre who wrote the words been exposed to healthy reprentatns of queer love om an early age, she would have known that beg gay was OK. When I found out earlier this month, along wh the rt of the world, that one of my favore actors, Kal Penn, is a fellow gay man and now engaged to his long-time partner, I was so happy that he was openly livg his tth. "I realized I was gay last year, after 36 years durg the lockdown.

I ASKED GUYS WHEN THEY FIRST KNEW THEY WERE GAY

After seeg a gay guy I uld see myself , I started to qutn myself more.

I me out as bisexual at 44 after my stepson me out as gay at 11 years old. "I moved to Ireland jt before the referendum that legalized gay marriage. Once the untry around me changed and I started seeg more gays the muny, felt safer, and I felt more fortable to e out.

I'd fantasize about men and watch gay porn. Part of me felt rponsible for her ath, as if beg bi or gay and my feelgs of regret somehow ed .

WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE GAY?

I also realized that the label of ‘gay’ ma more sense for me than ‘bi. But when I moved to California and saw more gay people, then I really started to realize . I gus that's the pot I f the fn of 'gay' rather than bi.

I have a lot of stori about folks who were homophobic but me around to acceptg me and honorg me for beg a gay man, once they got to know me beyond what I do bed. In the meantime, I kept watchg gay porn but wouldn't accept and felt guilty after jerkg off to .

I me out to my wife many moons ago but took a long time to realize that prayg the gay away wasn’t workg. I’m a good place right now and share my home wh gay iends, as well as adult children. I basilly created my own gay muny.

AM I GAY?

"I fally started serly qutng my early 40s and quickly realized I was gay. Pl the ‘80s was not a particularly good time to be gay — I thk fear of AIDS was possibly one thg that had me nial. I wonr if I'd accepted I'm gay when I was 20, if thgs would have been much different.

After spendg years dog all the manly thgs that were supposed to straighten me out, I had a particular weekend — a men-only whewater raftg trip — when I realized I did all the thgs I was aimg for that were supposed to change me, and I was still 100% gay. Once I knew the gay wasn't gog anywhere, I figured I wanted to be open and hont wh people om then on, regardls of how the rt of my life went.

The last thg, you wanted to be was gay, at least my md.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

Eventually, after a lot of booze and tears, I fally admted I was gay. So my iend got me to talk to other gay guys and try and accept myself.

I'm learng that beg gay is normal and not really a big al. He helped me nont that I was gay and fancied blok.

In Lat Ameri and my untry of Venezuela, beg gay is associated wh beg ls of a person. When I was a kid, I went through all the dumb pre-ter gay kid thgs like lgerg the JCPenny's men’s unrwear sectn.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

I e om a strict Irish tholic fay, so any of my mannerisms or actns that were ‘too gay’ were discsed by my fay. Grad school was the first time I was around people who seemed to genuely not re or treat people different bee they were gay. But as the years passed, I realized I was fely gay.

When I rennected wh my bt childhood iend who me out to me as bi, I was spired and told him I was gay. Growg up was the whole ‘relig upbrgg/ternalized homophobia’ dance: I liked gay porn, but uldn't adm to myself I was gay. At that pot beme important to e out as the gay man I've always been.

My wife and I are gog to unselg together to work through thgs and while ‘’ has a shelf life, I'm foced on figurg out what beg gay means to me.