Gay Parents Raisg Kids: How Will They Fare? | Psychology Today

the daily life of gay parents

Over the past few s the number of children growg up LGBTQ-parent fai has creased dramatilly wh the ntext of shiftg socpolil and legal climat around the world, more favourable attus toward diverse fay forms, and expand accs to assisted reproductn technology and adoptn (Goldberg & Conron, 2018). Among diverse LGBTQ-parent fay forms, lbian and gay stepfay arrangements formed post heterosexual relatnship (PHR) dissolutn likely reprent the most mon formatn (Tasker & Lavenr-Stott, 2020). Contrary to prevailg expectatns, early studi wh mothers who me out as lbians showed that they were jt as likely to have good mental health and posive relatnships wh their children as were heterosexual mothers, and that their children were no more likely to show emotnal and behavral difficulti, poor performance at school, or atypil genr role behavr than were children wh heterosexual parents (Patterson, 2017; Tasker, 2010) wh rearch on lbian stepfay arrangements, what we currently know about parentg and the adjtment of children whose parents are a sexual and/or a genr mory is still maly limed to lbian-parent fai through donor sematn (Bos & Gartrell, 2020). Planned lbian-parent fai were also created by adoptn (Farr et al., 2020), by sexual terurse wh a man who would not be a father to the child and by elective -parentg, whereby the mo...

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KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIENDBARBIE’S BELOVED BEARD?FOR YEARS, PEOPLE HAVE QUTNED WHAT ROLE KEN REALLY PLAYS BARBIE’S LIFE. BUT THE TTH IS PLA SIGHT: KEN’S NOT BOYIEND MATERIAL. AT LEAST, NOT FOR BARBIE.BARRY LEVTFREELANCE WRERPUBLISHED JUL. 21, 2023 4:35AM EDT PHOTO ILLTRATN BY THE DAILY BEAST/GETTYIT’S BARBIE WEEK AT THE DAILY BEAST’S OBSSED, CELEBRATG THE DOLL’S POP-CULTURE HISTORY, OUR FAVORE BARBIE MEMORI, AND A CERTA MAJOR MOVIE. READ ALL OF OUR VERAGE HERE!“SHE’S EVERYTHG. HE’S JT KEN.” THAT’S THE TAGLE FOR THE WILDLY ANTICIPATED BARBIE MOVIE, DIRECTED BY GRETA GERWIG AND STARRG MARGOT ROBBIE AND RYAN GOSLG. THE IMPLITN IS CLEAR: COME FOR BARBIE, AND STAY FOR BARBIE… BUT KEN HAPPENS TO BE THERE TOO.KEN HAS LONG BEEN SEEN AS NOTHG BUT BARBIE’S HUMAN ACCSORY, BUT WASN’T ALWAYS THIS WAY FOR THE POOR MISUNRSTOOD DOLL. WHEN KEN WAS FIRST TRODUCED 1961, HIS FIRST MERCIAL TRIED TO POSN HIM AS BARBIE’S EQUAL AND, UNMISTAKABLY, BOYIEND. “GET BOTH BARBIE AND KEN AND SEE WHERE THE ROMANCE WILL LEAD!” THE MERCIAL PROMISED.SCE THEN, LIKE BARBIE, KEN HAS UNRGONE UNTLS TRANSFORMATNS AND FASHNS. BUT AS TIME WENT ON, KEN FOUND HIMSELF AN AFTERTHOUGHT. TOYMAKERS MATTEL NEVER GAVE HIM THE SAME KD OF BACKSTORI AS BARBIE—WHILE SHE’S HAD OVER 200 REERS, KEN HAS HAD JT SOME 40-ODD PROFSNS. (AN CREDIBLE AMOUNT OF JOBS FOR A PERSON, SURE. BUT FOR A DOLL? EMBARRASSG.) BARBIE HAS STARRED LOTS OF VIO GAM AND MORE THAN THREE DOZEN FILMS; KEN HAS HAD A MAJOR ROLE A MERE HANDFUL OF THEM. BUT THERE’S ONE KEY REASON WHY KEN IS ALWAYS LAGGG SIGNIFINTLY BEHD BARBIE AND 'S A LOT EPER THAN THE DOLL’S SEEMG LACK OF POPULARY: KEN HAS BEEN MISST. HE’S NOT BARBIE’S BOYIEND. HE’S BARBIE’S GAY BT IEND.DPE MATTEL’S SISTENCE THAT BARBIE AND KEN ARE A HAPPY ROMANTIC RELATNSHIP, THERE’S PLENTY OF SPECULATN ABOUT KEN’S SEXUALY. EVEN IF HIS MAKERS CLAIM HIM TO BE STRAIGHT, THERE’S MOUNTG PROOF TO THE NTRARY. PERHAPS THE MOST DISPUTABLE EVINCE THAT KEN IS FACT BOTH A MEMBER OF THE QUEER MUNY AND BARBIE’S BTIE, NOT BOY TOY, OM A RATHER SURPRISG PLACE: 2010’S TOY STORY 3.IN TOY STORY 3, BARBIE AND KEN PLAY A SURPRISGLY LARGE ROLE. THEIR TRODUCTN TO THE FILM IS TGED WH ROMANTIC TENSN. WHEN THE PAIR MEET, THE FILM VOK A MON TROPE: A ROMANTIC NEEDLE DROP HS THE MOMENT THE LOVERS LOCK EY. IN THIS SE, ’S “DREAM WEAVER” BY GARY WRIGHT. AS FAR AS BARBIE AND KEN ARE NCERNED, THEY’RE THE ONLY ON THE ROOM. “I LOVE YOUR LEG WARMERS!” KEN TELLS BARBIE. “NICE AST,” SHE BANTERS, WH HEAVY EMPHASIS ON THE FIRST SYLLABLE. BEFORE THGS GET TOO HEATED, THEY LOCK ARMS AND WALK OFF TOGETHER. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO / THE DAILY BEAST / GETTY LET’S BE HONT—SPE THE ROMANTIC OVERTON OF THE SCENE, THEIR BRIEF EXCHANGE TELLS EVERYTHG ABOUT HOW THEY SEE EACH OTHER. KEN DON’T MENTN ANYTHG ABOUT BARBIE’S BODY, STEAD HIGHLIGHTG HER LEG WARMERS. BUT BARBIE IS UNSUBTLY TRYG TO SCE KEN JT TWO WORDS. SHE’S AFTER KEN, BUT KEN IS AFTER SOMEONE WHOSE CLOTH HE N ADMIRE.SURE, LATER THE FILM, KEN AND BARBIE SAY “I LOVE YOU” TO EACH OTHER. AND THEY GO BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN SAYG EACH WORD OF “I LOVE YOU”—SO SOMEONE DIFFERENT N SAY “LOVE” EACH TIME, AS KEN EXPLAS. HE MENTNS OFFHAND THAT HE HAS EVERYTHG EXCEPT SOMEONE TO SHARE WH. BARBIE AND KEN EVEN NUZZLE THEIR NOS TOGETHER. Y, THERE’S FELY LOVE BETWEEN IENDS—BUT THROUGH ALL, THERE’S NOT A HT OF SEXUAL CHEMISTRY.LOOK, I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THKG—SIR, THIS IS TOY STORY; WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU EXPECTG? IF YOU LOOK AT OTHER ROMANC THE ANCHISE—WOODY AND BO PEEP, AND JSE AND BUZZ—THERE’S NO DOUBT THAT THERE’S REAL LOVE THERE BETWEEN THE SENTIENT TOYS. THEIR PASSN FOR ONE ANOTHER TRANSCENDS MORE THAN SIMPLY BEG TERTED EACH OTHER’S OUTFS. THE SAME NNOT BE SAID OF THE MATTEL DOLLS. THAT’S MA EVINT WHEN KEN FALLY GETS AN OPPORTUNY FOR TIMACY WH BARBIE. “THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS,” HE TELLS BARBIE WHEN THEY FALLY GO TO HIS DREAMHOE TOGETHER, HAVG PARENTS ALL OVER THE WORLD CLUTCHG THEIR PEARLS. BUT FEAR NOT: KEN SIMPLY TAK BARBIE TO… HIS WALK- WARDROBE. ANY SEMBLANCE OF ROMANCE MAK WAY FOR IENDSHIP, WHEN THE PAIR JUBILANTLY PESE KEN’S OUTFS. AND STEAD OF DOG SOMETHG WILD LIKE KISSG BARBIE, KEN PUTS ON A FASHN SHOW FOR HER STEAD. THE FILM WON’T SAY , BUT A POST-CREDS PUNCHLE ABOUT KEN’S HANDWRG, PLETE WH HEARTS AND STARS SURROUNDG HIS NAME, TELLS WHAT WE NEED TO KNOW.THE HEAVILY IMPLIED NATURE OF KEN’S GAYNS TOY STORY 3 HARKENS BACK TO HOLLYWOOD’S TRADNAL GAY BT IEND-TYPE CHARACTERS. IN THE HAYS CO ERA, EXPLIC REFERENC TO HOMOSEXUALY WEREN’T ALLOWED, SO CHARACTERS LIKE VAN BUREN (FRANKL PANGBORN) 1937’S EASY LIVG, KIP (DAVID WAYNE) 1949’S ADAM’S RIB, OR ADDISON (GEE SANRS) 1950’S ALL ABOUT EVE STEAD WERE IMBUED WH EFFEMATE CHARACTERISTICS, OFFERG A GLIMPSE OUTSI OF HETERONORMATIVY WHOUT EXPLICLY BEG QUEER.NONE OF THE CHARACTERS WERE THE SAME—SOME WERE TTY, OTHERS SWEET. SOME HAD ULTERR MOTIV, AND OTHERS OFFERED UNNDNAL SUPPORT. BUT EACH OF THE GAY BT IENDS WAS TRSILLY FED BY THEIR RELATNSHIPS WH THEIR STRAIGHT IENDS. WE NEVER REALLY LEARNED MUCH ABOUT THEM AS DIVIDUALS. THEY LIVED ON THE MARGS, FLHG OUT THEIR STRAIGHT UNTERPARTS, HARDLY HAVG A PURPOSE WHOUT THEM; THAT PORTRAYAL REMAS TE TODAY. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO / THE DAILY BEAST / PHOTOS BY GETTY / WARNER BROS. DES LATER, 2010, THE GAY BT IEND WAS ALL THE RAGE; TEEN VOGUE EVEN WENT SO FAR AS TO PROCLAIM THE GBF AS THE SUMMER’S MT-HAVE ACCSORY. BUT UNLIKE THE FIRST HALF OF THE 20TH CENTURY, TODAY’S CEMA, THE GBF IS ALLOWED TO BE OPENLY GAY. AT THE SAME TIME, THEY STILL BARELY REGISTER AS PEOPLE WH CHARACTER TRAS BEYOND THEIR RELATNSHIPS WH THEIR STRAIGHT UNTERPARTS. IN MOVI LIKE MEAN GIRLS (2004), THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA (2006), EASY A (2010), NO STRGS ATTACHED (2011), AND ISN’T IT ROMANTIC (2019), GAY IENDS EXIST ENTIRELY THE ORB OF THEIR FEMALE IENDS. IT’S SUCH A STRONG TROPE THAT EVEN PERSISTS QUEER ROMANTIC EDI: 2020’S HAPPIT SEASON FDS JOHN (DAN LEVY) OFFERG ADVICE AND SNARKY ONE-LERS TO HIS LBIAN BTIE LI OF MEANGFUL CHARACTER VELOPMENT.IN TOY STORY 3, THE SAME IS TE OF KEN. HIS EXISTENCE PENDS ON AND CIRCULAT AROUND BARBIE. IN BARBIE, KEN HAS FOUND SOMEONE WHO REALLY UNRSTANDS HIM. HE DON’T GET ALONG WH THE OTHER TOYS, WHO MOCK HIM FOR BEG A “GIRL'S TOY.” BUT BARBIE LOV FASHN, JT LIKE HE DO. “NO ONE APPRECIAT CLOTH HERE, BARBIE,” KEN LAMENTS TO BARBIE, ABOUT THE OTHER TOYS’ TREATMENT OF HIM. “NO ONE!” BUT BARBIE DO, AND FOR KEN, THAT’S LIFE-CHANGG.THERE ARE PLENTY OF REASONS WHY THE FILM WOULDN’T OUTRIGHTLY STATE THAT KEN IS HOMOSEXUAL. NOT ONLY DO DISNEY SELF HAVE A PLITED HISTORY WH QUEER CHARACTERS, BUT KEN AND BARBIE ARE ALSO THE PROPERTY OF MATTEL, WHICH HAS ALWAYS BEEN STEADFAST ASSERTG KEN’S HETEROSEXUALY. THAT’S NEVER BEEN CLEARER THAN 1993 WHEN THE TOY PANY TRIED TO REIGNE KEN’S POPULARY MATTEL’S SOLUTN? EARRG MAGIC KEN. EARRG MAGIC KEN WAS A FIERCER, FELY MORE QUEER KEN THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS VERSN OF THE DOLL HAD BLEACHED BLON HAIR, A PURPLE LEATHER VT (!), A PK-PURPLE MH TOP (!!), AND OF URSE, AND EARRG THE “GAY EAR”. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL: AROUND KEN’S NECK WAS SOMETHG THAT ANY ACTIVE PARTICIPANT OF THE QUEER SCENE THE ’90S REGNIZED STANTLY—A CK RG (!!!).THE EARRG MAGIC KEN TURNED BARBIE’S BOYIEND TO AN OUT-AND-PROUD HOMOSEXUAL RAVER. MATTEL, OF URSE, VEHEMENTLY NIED ANY CLAIMS THAT KEN WAS GAY, LET ALONE THAT HE HAD SOMETHG AS PREPOSTERO AS A CK RG AROUND HIS NECK. AS LISA MCKENDALL, FORMER MANAGER OF MARKETG AND MUNITNS, SAID AN TERVIEW ABOUT THE DOLL, “WE’RE NOT THE BS OF PUTTG CK RGS TO THE HANDS OF LTLE GIRLS.”REGARDLS OF MATTEL’S TENTNS, ’S HARD TO NY WHAT THE EYE N SEE. DPE THE NAME, CK RGS AT THE TIME WERE ED AS A FASHN ACCSORY AND A SIGN OF FIANT QUEERNS AND SEX POSIVY. AS A RULT, GAY MEN BOUGHT THE DOLL DROV, AND SPE MATTEL ULTIMATELY RELLG THE DOLL AND WIPG AWAY ANY TRACE OF EARRG MAGIC KEN, WAS NEAR-IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE KEN AS ANYTHG BUT THE GLOR HOMOSEXUAL HE WAS BORN TO BE OM THEN ON. MATTEL SPENT THE NEXT UPLE OF S TRYG TO RETA KEN’S MORE HETERONORMATIVE, MASCULE IMAGE, BUT THE VEIL WAS LIFTED, AND THERE WAS NO GOG BACK. PHOTO ILLTRATN BY KELLY CAMERO/THE DAILY BEAST/PHOTOS BY GETTY/WARNER BROS. THOUGH MATTEL DON’T SEEM TO BE WILLG TO SAY KEN IS ACTUALLY GAY, THE KEN DOLLS OF RECENT YEARS SEEM TO REALLY LEAN TO KEN’S QUEERNS. THE YASSIFITN OF KEN IS CLEARLY UNRWAY. WHILE THERE IS NO WAY TO “DRS GAY,” THERE ARE SEVERAL DOLLS THAT SEEM TO SUGGT OTHERWISE, SUCH AS:FASHNISTA KEN #193, WHO LOOKS VERY EXCED TO TELL YOU ABOUT HIS NEW OBSSN, TROYE SIVAN;TRAVEL KEN DOLL, WHO HAS A SATCHEL PERFECT FOR BATHHO AND A PURPLE OVERNIGHT BAG THAT LERALLY PROCLAIMS HE’S “EXTRA;”KEN LOOKS DOLL, SERVG “I’M GONNA GIVE YOU A MAKEOVER”-TYPE REALNS WHILE SPORTG BLACK PLEATHER PANTS;THIS KEN, WHO WEARS THE LEAST HETEROSEXUAL DOUBLE NIM IMAGABLE.WHILE I HAVE A FEELG THE NEW BARBIE MOVIE WILL PUT THE WORK TO NVCE THAT KEN IS A HETERO DU WHO LOV NOTHG LIFE MORE THAN BARBIE HERSELF, THE WRG’S ALREADY ON THE WALL: KEN IS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, BARBIE’S GAY BT IEND.KEEP OBSSG! SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY BEAST’S OBSSED NEWSLETTER AND FOLLOW ON FACEBOOK, TWTER, INSTAGRAM AND TIKTOK.READ MORE OF OUR BARBIE VERAGE HERE. BARRY LEVT

The days, gay parents are no novelty. * the daily life of gay parents *

For more than a , three gay fai have allowed documentary filmmaker Julia Ivanova to follow them at close range as they’ve built their hoeholds through adoptn, surrogacy and -parentg Nova Stia and Brish Dads, My Moms and Me, Ivanova’s new documentary, is an timate look at the home liv of the gay parents and their teenage children – their good days and their bad days, their closens and their challeng. On Nanaimo’s Protectn Island, 16-year-old Zea is -parented by her gay dad Steve and her two lbian moms, Wendy and Cory, as she battl a chronic illns.

Gay parenthood was largely uncharted terrory when Ivanova shot her first film 2006. When she approached Canadians on the street Vanuver for their opns, people appeared tepid about LGBTQ fai, wonrg on mera about whether the children of gay parents might grow up nfed, damaged or “turn out gay.

HandoutIn Nanaimo, four-year-old Zea is very stoic about her unnventnal fay of two gay moms and a gay dad. Left to right: Wendy, Cory, Zea, Steve and Bachlakov/HandoutThe gay dads your film said they were unnerved by people stoppg them the street to ask, “Where’s mom?

GAY PARENTS RAISG KIDS: HOW WILL THEY FARE?

* the daily life of gay parents *

He beme a te ambassador for fatherhood by gay and Drew alt wh the qutn about the whereabouts of Jack’s mom wh humour. As a newlywed gay uple, the men looked like stereotypil straight men – like heavy hlers om Fort McMurray.

Fathers Steve and Stt also mented that they are kd of between two muni and not ftg eher of them well, beg parents and beg gay men and havg children as the central tert their was important to show that the fathers fought hard to have babi? Comg out as gay meant gog through the procs of grievg and acceptg that they would never have children.

10 THGS YOU’LL ONLY KNOW IF YOU’VE GROWN UP WH GAY PARENTS

The fai, their own wordsThe Globe asked the fai of filmmaker Julia Ivanova’s new documentary My Dads, My Moms and Me how the climate has shifted for them sce their participatn Ivanova’s 2007 film Fatherhood Dreams, released shortly after gay marriage was legalized.

I know that we n’t take what we have for legalizatn of gay marriage Canada, while an important tone s own right, did not have a huge impact on our queer parentg sce we are a three-parent fay and this change of law did not impact our legal rights or legimize our fay stcture.

Also, we had been parentg for a already wh both kids born before that happened so the legalizatn of gay marriage is only one factor among many that strengthened awarens of queer fai and ma parentg easier for .

ANDY COHEN SAYS BEG THE ONLY SGLE AND GAY PARENT AT HIS SON'S SCHOOL N FEEL 'SURPRISGLY LONELY'

The film won’t say , but a post-creds punchle about Ken’s handwrg, plete wh hearts and stars surroundg his name, tells what we need to heavily implied nature of Ken’s gayns Toy Story 3 harkens back to Hollywood’s tradnal gay bt iend-type characters. In the Hays Co era, explic referenc to homosexualy weren’t allowed, so characters like Van Buren (Frankl Pangborn) 1937’s Easy Livg, Kip (David Wayne) 1949’s Adam’s Rib, or Addison (Gee Sanrs) 1950’s All About Eve stead were imbued wh effemate characteristics, offerg a glimpse outsi of heteronormativy whout explicly beg of the characters were the same—some were tty, others sweet. But each of the gay bt iends was trsilly fed by their relatnships wh their straight iends.

Des later, 2010, the gay bt iend was all the rage; Teen Vogue even went so far as to proclaim the GBF as the summer’s mt-have accsory. But unlike the first half of the 20th century, today’s cema, the GBF is allowed to be openly gay. In movi like Mean Girls (2004), The Devil Wears Prada (2006), Easy A (2010), No Strgs Attached (2011), and Isn’t It Romantic (2019), gay iends exist entirely the orb of their female iends.

GAY PARENTS: SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE?

” But Barbie do, and for Ken, that’s are plenty of reasons why the film wouldn’t outrightly state that Ken is homosexual. ) Earrg Magic Ken turned Barbie’s boyiend to an out-and-proud homosexual raver.

Mattel, of urse, vehemently nied any claims that Ken was gay, let alone that he had somethg as prepostero as a ck rg around his neck.

As a rult, gay men bought the doll drov, and spe Mattel ultimately rellg the doll and wipg away any trace of Earrg Magic Ken, was near-impossible to see Ken as anythg but the glor homosexual he was born to be om then on. Though Mattel don’t seem to be willg to say Ken is actually gay, the Ken dolls of recent years seem to really lean to Ken’s queerns. While there is no way to “drs gay, ” there are several dolls that seem to suggt otherwise, such as:Fashnista Ken #193, who looks very exced to tell you about his new obssn, Troye Sivan;Travel Ken Doll, who has a satchel perfect for bathho and a purple overnight bag that lerally proclaims he’s “extra;”Ken Looks Doll, servg “I’m gonna give you a makeover”-type realns while sportg black pleather pants;This Ken, who wears the least heterosexual double nim I have a feelg the new Barbie movie will put the work to nvce that Ken is a hetero du who lov nothg life more than Barbie herself, the wrg’s already on the wall: Ken is, and always will be, Barbie’s gay bt obssg!

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* THE DAILY LIFE OF GAY PARENTS

Queer Scholar Abbie Goldberg Once Hid Her Mom's LGBT Books</tle><meta name="tle" ntent="Queer Scholar Abbie Goldberg Once Hid Her Mom's LGBT Books" /><meta name="scriptn" ntent="LGBTQ+ fay scholar Abbie Goldberg, PhD, walks through her evolutn and the societal impact she hop her rearch will have. " /><meta name="keywords" ntent="abbie goldberg, lgbt fay scholar, gay dads, lbian moms" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="webse" /><meta name="theme-lor" ntent="#000000" /><lk href="/_assets/sign-tokens/oprahdaily/static/imag/" rel="in" /><meta property="og:se_name" ntent="Oprah Daily" /><meta name="fb:app_id" ntent="557569598006399" property="fb:app_id" /><meta name="article:publisher" ntent=" property="article:publisher" /><meta name="twter:se" ntent="@OprahDaily" /><meta name="google-se-verifitn" ntent="82jYkYSOEZ5GE7V8m8gSrd7kxTtY-J37c6dvl60N8" /><meta property="og:tle" ntent="A Pneerg LGBTQ+ Scholar Once Hid Her Mom’s Queer Books" /><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="LGBTQ+ fay scholar Abbie Goldberg, PhD, walks through her evolutn and the societal impact she hop her rearch will have. 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Now this pneerg rearcher is helpg make schools—and society—more welg and equal for all kds of fai. </p></div><style data-emotn="css 1t9ufoh">{display:block;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.8125rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0.625rem 0 0.3125rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{marg-top:1.35rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg-top:1.75rem;}} addrs{marg:0rem;} span{le-height:1.6;display:le-block;marg:0rem;}</style><div class="css-1t9ufoh exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css b9totx">{font-style:normal;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;display:block;font-size:0.8125rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0.625rem 0 0.3125rem;}</style><addrs class="css-b9totx ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css 1gwutwq">{paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;display:block;font-size:0.8125rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0.625rem 0 0.3125rem;}</style><span class="css-1gwutwq ehvvd9m1">By <style data-emotn="css 7l5upj">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/233836/stephanie-fairygton/" class="css-7l5upj e1c1bym14">Stephanie Fairygton</a></span><style data-emotn="css 1gryrf1">{display:le-block;text-transform:unset;marg-left:0.625rem;}</style><time class="css-1gryrf1 exadjwu6">Published: Jun 28, 2022</time></addrs></div><style data-emotn="css wkpw2c">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><div class="no-prt css-wkpw2c exadjwu15"><style data-emotn="css 1hpjtwr">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;posn:relative;marg-top:0.9375rem;}</style><div class="ntent-hear-actns css-1hpjtwr exadjwu14"><style data-emotn="css 1x55pmg">{background-lor:#E61957;lor:#ffffff;borr:th solid transparent;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:row;-ms-flex-directn:row;flex-directn:row;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;paddg:0.625rem 1.25rem;marg-top:0rem;marg-bottom:0rem;-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;text-transform:upperse;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;width:to;borr-radi:50rem;font-size:0.8125rem;le-height:1.2;font-weight:bold;letter-spacg:0.05em;}{background-lor:#9D002F;lor:#ffffff;cursor:poter;borr:th solid transparent;}{marg-left:1rem;}{outle:0.125rem dotted #000000;outle-offset:0.2rem;}</style><button data-tooltip-id="article-hear-save" class="ntentSaveButton css-1x55pmg e12nq69g1"><style data-emotn="css 7g4d0s">{width:1rem;height:1rem;marg-right:0.625rem;} path{fill:#ffffff;} path{fill:#ffffff;}</style><svg xmlns=" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 48 62" class="css-7g4d0s e10k4xbi2"><path fill="#000" fill-le="evenodd" d="M24 46.52 48 61V0H0v61.44l24-14.92ZM5.67 50.9 24 39.5l18.33 11.4V5.7H5.67v45.2Z" clip-le="evenodd"></path></svg>Save Article</button><style data-emotn="css 3s1l0y">{width:160px;text-align:left;lor:#595959;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.70284rem;le-height:1.1;letter-spacg:0.045rem;}</style></div></div></div></div></hear><style data-emotn="css k008qs">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;}</style><div class="css-k008qs ewisyje0"><style data-emotn="css 7ce51e">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{max-width:lc(100vw - 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50vw);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:to;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead-image css-sm2oir e5f9kgu2"><style data-emotn="css eag3eq">{posn:relative;height:to;}</style><div class="css-eag3eq e5f9kgu1"><style data-emotn="css 335qep">{posn:relative;width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;vertil-align:top;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="abbie goldberg on steps" tle="Woman on steps" width="3600" height="2400" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-335qep exi4f7p0" /></div><style data-emotn="css 5kpeya">{font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.70003rem;letter-spacg:0.05em;le-height:2rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0;}} span{lor:#6F6F6F;}</style><figptn class="css-5kpeya enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css 1sepnu9">{paddg-right:0.3125rem;lor:#6F6F6F;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.2;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><span class="css-1sepnu9 e6iqd2">Photo by Sandra Costello</span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css woto36">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-woto36 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Durg Abbie Goldberg's preteen years, her mother divorced and then met and fell love wh a woman. But the stat of her mother's new romantic relatnship was unclear. “We lled her ‘godmother’ or ‘my mom's bt iend,’” says Goldberg of herself and her two siblgs, a younger and an olr brother. "My mother wasn't sayg . She wasn't namg . And to be hont, I don't know that I wanted her to. We had a shared unrstandg that there wasn't really a place for this our suburb ’80s New York," she rells, potg out the nformist thst of that era amid Reagan's ultra-nservative princy.</p><p data-no-id="1" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">As a teen, she would sn her mother's bookshelv for tl wh lbian referenc and flip their sp so her iends wouldn't see them. By then she says was ls about shame-fed secrecy than a missg set of mon cultural terms through which to accurately articulate their kd of fay. "There was no vobulary. There was no ntext," she says. <br /></p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Today, Goldberg has not only wrten books—<em><style data-emotn="css 9cezh6">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:#E61957;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Lbian and Gay Parents and Their Children" data-vars-ga-product-id="ada93d87-ecee-434c-8ef7-2bbe8e55363f" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="(not set) | (not set)" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"31518d15-56f8-4a3f-8799-8066452d82","se_id":"10a25939-3448-4c42-8343-9bfdfc32076b","metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","metadata":{}}}" data-vars-ga-product-price="$67.25" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="74cd8f-df14-4ff4-8bed-217af20e371d" class="body-lk product-lks css-9cezh6 ebsw2pb0">Lbian and Gay Parents and Their Children</a>,</em> <em><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Gay Dads" data-vars-ga-product-id="cb574789-1b07-4536-b9ed-2b50a802171f" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="sale | (not set)" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"31518d15-56f8-4a3f-8799-8066452d82","se_id":"10a25939-3448-4c42-8343-9bfdfc32076b","metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","metadata":{}}}" data-vars-ga-product-brand="NYU Prs" data-vars-ga-product-price="$21.64" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="c0f5ced4-8a47-4b2a-ab46-3a371757a3fb" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand="NYU Prs" class="body-lk product-lks css-9cezh6 ebsw2pb0">Gay Dads</a></em>, <em><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Open Adoptn and Diverse Fai" data-vars-ga-product-id="4f600761-95bc-48c4-b770-59e3a5a57256" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="sale | (not set)" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"31518d15-56f8-4a3f-8799-8066452d82","se_id":"10a25939-3448-4c42-8343-9bfdfc32076b","metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","metadata":{}}}" data-vars-ga-product-brand="Oxford Universy Prs" data-vars-ga-product-price="$35.63" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="24b66d48-07ea-451e-be8d-f73c124d0ebd" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand="Oxford Universy Prs" class="body-lk product-lks css-9cezh6 ebsw2pb0">Open Adoptn and Diverse Fai</a></em> and <em><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="LGBTQ Fay Buildg" data-vars-ga-product-id="d8f51e95-4854-4b32-b7be-5eb7135946" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="(not set) | (not set)" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"31518d15-56f8-4a3f-8799-8066452d82","se_id":"10a25939-3448-4c42-8343-9bfdfc32076b","metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","metadata":{}}}" data-vars-ga-product-brand="Amerin Psychologil Associatn" data-vars-ga-product-price="$2.96" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="0766ac76-a553-4cc7-8047-a7356beedb" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand="Amerin Psychologil Associatn" class="body-lk product-lks css-9cezh6 ebsw2pb0">LGBTQ Fay Buildg</a></em>—that would make her younger self balk, as a pneerg LGBTQ+ fay studi scholar Clark Universy's partment of psychology, she's dited her entire reer to rearchg and raisg awarens about the ner workgs of LGBTQ+ fay dynamics and their experienc the world.<br /></p><div data-no-id="3" data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="journey-unblur-ntent css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1ujafpv">{clear:both;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;paddg:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:25rem;float:left;marg-right:1.25rem;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:0;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-left:max(512px - 50vw, -5%);paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{marg-left:max(590px - 50vw, -20%);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:-40%;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1ujafpv e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css 1attflr">{text-align:left;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;borr:th solid #CDCDCD;borr-bottom:0;borr-image-slice:1;borr-image-source:lear-gradient(to right, #0ED2C6 0 15%, #7A3BAF, #FF3F44);borr-left:0;borr-right:0;borr-top:0.125rem solid #E61957;}</style><div class="css-1attflr e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css ck2kc1">{marg-bottom:0rem;paddg:0.625rem;paddg-left:0;paddg-right:0;paddg-bottom:1.2rem;}</style><div class="css-ck2kc1 e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css wu5q1y">{background-lor:unset;lor:#6F6F6F;font-fay:Gilroy,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:0.8125rem;font-weight:bold;letter-spacg:0.05em;le-height:1.2;marg:0rem;paddg:0rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-bottom:0.5rem;text-align:center;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{marg-bottom:0.625rem;text-align:left;}}</style><h6 class="css-wu5q1y e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">More From Oprah Daily</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css l2b97m">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;lor:#000000;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-fay:Juana,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.4375rem;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:-0.01em;le-height:1.1;marg:0rem;m-height:2.4rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;text-align:center;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{-webk-box-pack:left;-ms-flex-pack:left;-webk-jtify-ntent:left;jtify-ntent:left;text-align:left;}}</style><h6 class="css-l2b97m e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css 1ui7hop">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css 1iiivv4">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;top:50%;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-1iiivv4 e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in .

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