Joe Kort, Ph.D., talks about his new book, "Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?"
Contents:
- IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
- HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY
- 17 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND IS SECRETLY GAY (& WHAT TO DO)
- HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
- HOW TO GET A MAN (FOR GAY MEN)
- IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
- IS MY BOYIEND GAY?
- IS MY BOYIEND GAY? 10 SIGNS TO HELP YOU TELL FOR SURE
- CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
* is it gay to have a boyfriend *
In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn.
This populatn is the foc of his new and much-need book: Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi? Number one is the high cince of male-female upl enterg my office bee the woman thks her man might be gay. He’s actually straight, but for whatever reason, he’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been havg sex wh men.
A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me? And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay. That’s unual, bee most gay men, even most gay therapists, believe that if a guy is havg gay sex, he’s gay.
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY
If you're a woman, you may have noticed thgs about your boyiend that lead you to believe he's gay or terted men. Sexualy is highly plex and sensive, and there are a lot of accurate stereotyp out there that don't tly... * is it gay to have a boyfriend *
” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way. Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women.
When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic.
17 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND IS SECRETLY GAY (& WHAT TO DO)
He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay. * is it gay to have a boyfriend *
The straight men have no homophobia at all—to the pot where they’re willg to seek unselg om me, an openly gay therapist. A lot of tim the gay men never even make to me (whout promptg om their wife, anyway) bee they’re riddled wh homophobia and I’m too gay for them.
So if a client is stgglg wh his sexual orientatn and he’s got a lot of homophobia, he’s probably gay. A gay guy wants to do all of that wh a man, a bisexual guy might want a man or a woman, and the straight guy wants to only be wh a woman that way.
He’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been hookg up wh guys he meets through Craigslist. Even if he’s nfed and don’t want to e out as gay, this is who he is and over time that will e out. So this is a way of bondg wh men—ironilly, through sex—and happens not bee the man is gay but bee he don’t know any other way to get this need met.
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
If you're readg this, there's a good chance you thk your boyiend might be gay. No doubt you're also feelg pretty nfed and wonrg how to al wh the suatn. It's a very sensive suatn to al wh, and you need to make sure you rpect his feelgs. But at the same time, you n't * is it gay to have a boyfriend *
Then I tell them that a lot of gay men don’t do anal at all, eher givg or receivg. The reason is that the guy really is gay and he wants to exprs that sexually and romantilly.
Eher they’re worried that their man will eventually ci he’s gay and end the relatnship, or they want monogamy, and his cheatg is a threat to the marriage regardls of who he’s dog wh. And I should pot out here that the men when they’re engagg this behavr (regardls of whether they’re gay, straight or bi) nearly always tell themselv that what they’re dog is not cheatg bee they’re dog wh a guy.
If you're a woman, you may have noticed thgs about your boyiend that lead you to believe he's gay or terted men. Keep readg for a thorough list of potential signs that your boyiend might be gay.
HOW TO GET A MAN (FOR GAY MEN)
There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. There are some important thgs that you have to unrstand about this suatn before gog forward, however. Someone's sexualy is highly plex and highly... * is it gay to have a boyfriend *
There are many reasons why someone might act this way, so this by self is not a surefire sign that he’s gay. If you believe your boyiend lov and r for you but he "seems to be gay, " keep md that he uld be bisexual, pansexual, or terted men.
There are several inti which someone n be terted more than one genr, so don't thk he's "jt gay". If you stumble upon evince of gay porn on his puter or phone, though, that may be a ltle different. If he’s gay, he might thrive on other men’s attentn, equently touch or hug them, or exchange flirty ments wh them (pecially about their physil appearance).
IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
Is my hband gay? is an unthkable qutn to many wiv, and some hbands do turn out to be gay. Learn the signs of a gay hband. * is it gay to have a boyfriend *
Notice if he equently hangs out wh his gay iends, or jos them on nights out at LGBTQ+ bars and clubs.
IS MY BOYIEND GAY?
” Notice if he acts unfortable around gay men, regularly mak homophobic ments or jok, or liberately never talks about anythg remotely gay. If his relativ are highly anti-gay, he may not feel safe or wele to e out to them.
He might also be wrtlg wh ternalized homophobia or self-loathg bee of the nflict between his inty and his upbrgg. An enunter his teen or llege years is more likely to mean he’s gay or queer than an experience later life, which uld have more plex explanatns. Don’t rely on gay stereotyp like an effemate voice or walk, flashy or tight clothg, his TV and mic preferenc, or beg a neat eak to terme your boyiend’s sexualy.
IS MY BOYIEND GAY? 10 SIGNS TO HELP YOU TELL FOR SURE
There are many gay men that exhib none of the tras, as well as many straight men that do. However, what I am ncerned about is that he is g me as a steppg stone to acknowledgg to himself that he is gay, or that he wants to be a heterosexual relatnship orr to reap the social benefs (havg kids, generally beg accepted society, etc. I’m worried bee (a) he’s never been wh a man before and beg wh me means he won't get that experience (assumg he don't cheat) and (b) he om an extremely relig fay the South who would likely not be able to accept his homosexualy (or even bisexualy).
I'm worried that we will spend years together, possibly get married, have kids, and then he will e to grips that he is fact actually gay. I have a very strong sneakg spicn that he’s bidg his time until his parents die or until he cis that he's gog to e out to them as I stay wh him and thk about a future, knowg full well that he uld tell me one day that he's actually gay and wants to be wh a man, or that he wants to transn, and leave me wh a bunch of baggage, such as gettg a divorce (sharg ctody of kids, fanc), and time/energy/effort lost?
If you’re readg this, there’s a good chance you thk your boyiend might be gay.
CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
He watch gay pornIf your boyiend watch a lot of gay porn, there’s a good chance he’s sexually terted men.
He might not be fully gay, but he’s obvly cur enough to check out on a regular basis. After all, most heterosexual guys have no tert watchg any porn unls there’s a woman your boyiend is tryg to hi his sexualy om you, ’s doubtful that he’ll openly watch gay porn while you’re around. The only way you’ll know is to look at his search history, which is a pretty big vasn of his do he react if you offer to watch gay porn wh him?
He’s been wh men beforeIf he’s been relatnships or hooked up wh men the past, ’s a pretty big ditor that he’s gay or bisexual. ”If you hear this kd of ment a lot, he might be attemptg to normalize his homosexual thoughts by makg them seem like nothg more than a joke.