After 20 years together, my boyiend asked me to gay marry him this summer. Well, not really. We often play this game of Will you gay marry me? where one of propos to the other simply to elic a rejectn. This year, he got to ask, and I told him I’d do , but only if I uld nvce Ferrari to loan a V-12 GT for the drive to some lol, legal state so at least I uld get an article out of for my gay-r lumn here at VF. “Never md,” he said. “I don’t know why I wanted to gay marry you the first place.” But another year whout matrimony is not gog to stop om havg the Gayt Summer Ever. So honor of today’s solstice and this week’s NYC Gay PRIDE ftivi, I would like to prent this pendium of five pecially faggoty thgs we will be dog durg over the next three months. Sce we homosexuals are style lears, you all will be dog the thgs the next five to ten years, so don’t lgh too hard.
Contents:
- THE 8 TOP GAY CIS FOR 2023
- HOW TO HAVE THE GAYT SUMMER EVERBY BRETT BERKJUNE 21, 2010SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEAFTER 20 YEARS TOGETHER, MY BOYIEND ASKED ME TO GAY MARRY HIM THIS SUMMER. WELL, NOT REALLY. WE OFTEN PLAY THIS GAME OF WILL YOU GAY MARRY ME? WHERE ONE OF PROPOS TO THE OTHER SIMPLY TO ELIC A REJECTN. THIS YEAR, HE GOT TO ASK, AND I TOLD HIM I’D DO , BUT ONLY IF I ULD NVCE FERRARI TO LOAN A V-12 GT FOR THE DRIVE TO SOME LOL, LEGAL STATE SO AT LEAST I ULD GET AN ARTICLE OUT OF FOR MY GAY-R LUMN HERE AT VF. “NEVER MD,” HE SAID. “I DON’T KNOW WHY I WANTED TO GAY MARRY YOU THE FIRST PLACE.” BUT ANOTHER YEAR WHOUT MATRIMONY IS NOT GOG TO STOP OM HAVG THE GAYT SUMMER EVER. SO HONOR OF TODAY’S SOLSTICE AND THIS WEEK’S NYC GAY PRIDE FTIVI, I WOULD LIKE TO PRENT THIS PENDIUM OF FIVE PECIALLY FAGGOTY THGS WE WILL BE DOG DURG OVER THE NEXT THREE MONTHS. SCE WE HOMOSEXUALS ARE STYLE LEARS, YOU ALL WILL BE DOG THE THGS THE NEXT FIVE TO TEN YEARS, SO DON’T LGH TOO HARD.MOSS GARNG: OUR HOE UPSTATE, WHERE WE’LL BE SPENDG THE SUMMER, IS NTLED A GROVE OF TALL, SUN-BLOCKG, AND SOIL-ACIDIFYG 100-YEAR-OLD WHE PE TRE. THE TRE ARE WILY REPUTED, BY LOL RINTS, TO BE GOOD FOR NOTHG. BUT THAT’S NOT TE. THEY’RE GREAT FOR PROVIDG VER FOR THE GROWTH OF ALKALE-LOVG MOSS. OF URSE, BEG ENMIC BREERS, OTHER PLANTS LIKE TO SEND THEIR SEEDLGS AND TRAILG ROOTS UP THROUGH THE FUZZY GREEN STUFF, SO ORR TO VELOP—AND ENURAGE FURTHER GROWTH OF—THE GEO RPET YOU SEE HERE, WE HAVE TO SPEND UNTLS HOURS CROUCHED DOWN ON THE GROUND PICKG EVERY OTHER LIVG SPROUT OUT OF OUR MOSS BY S ROOTS. OUR NEIGHBORS THK WE ARE LLECTG ANTS OR WORMS. (THEY ALSO THK WE ARE SANE AND SHOULD JT GET A LAWN.)DRARIUM CONSTCTN: WE HAVE BEEN OBSSED WH MIATURE DRAMAS FOR YEARS NOW—WHO HASN’T? WE’VE PURCHASED LARGE ETANDG ON, SMALL ON ENSED LUCE BOX, AND EVEN ONE THAT FORMS THE BASE OF A LAMP, ALL FEATURG DIVERSE SCEN OF WILDLIFE, GEOLOGIL FORMATNS, AND R WRECKS. BUT A FEW YEARS BACK WE NSTCTED ONE OUT THE YARD WH ONE OF OUR NEPHEWS THAT WAS MORE OF A “LIVG” DRAMA, WH SMALL PLANTS AND CLUMPS OF MOSS CLTERED AROUND A SCENE OF AN DTRIAL WASTELAND (PLETE WH A MIATURE BURNG TRASH BARREL). THIS GAVE THE IA OF CRAFTG SMALL, SELF-NTAED TABLEX VTAGE VR, EACH OF WHICH WOULD FEATURE AN TRIGUG LOTN, ADORABLE BUILDGS, AND LIVE FOLIAGE. OUR THOUGHTS TH FAR: DRIVE-IN MOVIE, FRONTIER VILLAGE, AND HNTED SUMMER CAMP (WH SLASHER’S LAIR/BODY P).MOST POPULARGEIA REPUBLINS SAY THEY'LL MOVE TO REMOVE FULTON COUNTY DA FANI WILLIS FROM OFFICE WH NEW STATE LAWBY ERIC LUTZMEGHAN MARKLE WILL BE JOG PRCE HARRY GERMANY FOR THE INVICT GAMBY ER VANRHOOFTHE TAN SUBMERSIBLE DISASTER WAS YEARS THE MAKG, NEW DETAILS REVEALBY SAN CASEYPICKLG: I HAVE LONG WANTED TO MAKE PICKL, BUT MY BF AND BFF PUT THE KIBOSH ON . “YOU ARE GAY ENOUGH ALREADY,” THEY TOLD ME. BUT TURNS OUT THEY WERE JT TEMPORARILY OPPOSED, BASED ON MY THEN-TENSE FATUATN WH ONLE CTNS OF A CERTA PATTERN OF 19TH-CENTURY ENGLISH TRANSFERWARE (RIDGWAYS PERSIA, IF YOU MT KNOW). SCE THAT HAS E TO AN END (PRETTY MUCH, I STILL BID ON THE OCSNAL PIECE; DON’T TELL THEM!), I’M APPARENTLY NOW ALLOWED TO DULGE THE VEGARED ALCHEMIL ARTS. I WANT TO START WH RADISH AND STRG BEANS. “FE,” THEY SAY. “BUT JT SO YOU DON’T GET ANY IAS, YOU NNOT START MAKG HOMEMA JAM!”MOST POPULARGEIA REPUBLINS SAY THEY'LL MOVE TO REMOVE FULTON COUNTY DA FANI WILLIS FROM OFFICE WH NEW STATE LAWBY ERIC LUTZMEGHAN MARKLE WILL BE JOG PRCE HARRY GERMANY FOR THE INVICT GAMBY ER VANRHOOFTHE TAN SUBMERSIBLE DISASTER WAS YEARS THE MAKG, NEW DETAILS REVEALBY SAN CASEYROSE TRELLISG: ONE DAY A FEW YEARS BACK, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, WOULDN’T BE OL TO BUILD SOMETHG? BUT LACKG ANY TOOLS, MATERIALS, SKILLS, SPATIAL-RELATNS TELLIGENCE, OR PLAN, THIS IS WHAT I CREATED: A WOBBLY TRELLIS FOR A WEIRD WILD ROSE BH THAT WAS GROWG THE ONT YARD. (THIS WAS BEFORE DEEPWATER HORIZON, BUT AFTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD, THOUGH NO OIL WELL REFERENCE WAS TEND.) NOW, TWO YEARS LATER, AFTER SCPULO PNG AND GUIDANCE, WE HAVE THIS BREATHTAKG DISPLAY. THE OTHER DAY, I TOLD MY BOYIEND I WANT TO EXPAND THIS STICK NSTCTN—WHICH I LIKE TO THK OF AS A PURE EXAMPLE OF THE ARTS-AND-CRAPS ATHETIC—TO A LOGGIA UNR WHICH WE N PLACE A TABLE. “THAT,” HE SAID, “IS A DISGTG IA.”ROSé CHUGGG: ROSé WE BEGAN S EBACK YEARS AGO, BUT WE ARE TAKG TO NEW LEVELS THIS SUMMER, PURCHASG BY THE SE—STILL AND SPARKLG—AND DRKG BY THE BOTTLE WHENEVER THE SUGGTN ARIS, A SORT OF GAY VERSN OF BROS ICG BROS. THERE IS A PLAN HERE. WE DON’T (JT) WANT TO GET DNK. WE WANT TO GET SO SICK OF THE LIC, LIGHT, MERALLY PK STUFF (OH, ’S JT SO PERFECT THE AFTERNOON, OR WH SOME GRILLED FISH, OR AFTER A SWIM THE LAKE) THAT WE WILL BE FORCED TO START A NEW ONEOPHILLIC TREND. I’M THKG ’S EHER GOG TO BE DRY WHE SANGRIA OR MERLOT SPRZERS.BRETT BERK WR GAILY ABOUT CULTURE, POLICS, AND RS FOR , AND IS THE THOR OF THE GAY UNCLE’S GUI TO PARENTG. VIS HIM AT OR FOLLOW HIM ON TWTER.BRETT BERK
THE 8 TOP GAY CIS FOR 2023
From Bottoms and Problemistas to theatre mps and gay wrtlers, this summer has somethg for everyone — pecially if you're queer. * summer is gay *
To improve LGBTQ reprentatn profsnal sports, Schweighofer and Denison said, ach and lears youth sports should set a precent that homophobic language and discrimatn are unacceptable. Sometim the Gam have taken place untri where homosexualy is not wily accepted or where legislatn impacts LGBTQ rints. Denison’s rearch fds that most LGBTQ athlet leave their sports as young people, a parture driven by a culture of homophobic language and stereotyp.
Daley has said that while he’s accepted his sport of divg, he often pet agast divers om untri where beg gay is crimalized. And Rapoe 2018 said that, as a kid, she “would have loved to have more rmatn” about what meant to be gay and why g homophobic slurs was wrong.
HOW TO HAVE THE GAYT SUMMER EVERBY BRETT BERKJUNE 21, 2010SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEAFTER 20 YEARS TOGETHER, MY BOYIEND ASKED ME TO GAY MARRY HIM THIS SUMMER. WELL, NOT REALLY. WE OFTEN PLAY THIS GAME OF WILL YOU GAY MARRY ME? WHERE ONE OF PROPOS TO THE OTHER SIMPLY TO ELIC A REJECTN. THIS YEAR, HE GOT TO ASK, AND I TOLD HIM I’D DO , BUT ONLY IF I ULD NVCE FERRARI TO LOAN A V-12 GT FOR THE DRIVE TO SOME LOL, LEGAL STATE SO AT LEAST I ULD GET AN ARTICLE OUT OF FOR MY GAY-R LUMN HERE AT VF. “NEVER MD,” HE SAID. “I DON’T KNOW WHY I WANTED TO GAY MARRY YOU THE FIRST PLACE.” BUT ANOTHER YEAR WHOUT MATRIMONY IS NOT GOG TO STOP OM HAVG THE GAYT SUMMER EVER. SO HONOR OF TODAY’S SOLSTICE AND THIS WEEK’S NYC GAY PRIDE FTIVI, I WOULD LIKE TO PRENT THIS PENDIUM OF FIVE PECIALLY FAGGOTY THGS WE WILL BE DOG DURG OVER THE NEXT THREE MONTHS. SCE WE HOMOSEXUALS ARE STYLE LEARS, YOU ALL WILL BE DOG THE THGS THE NEXT FIVE TO TEN YEARS, SO DON’T LGH TOO HARD.MOSS GARNG: OUR HOE UPSTATE, WHERE WE’LL BE SPENDG THE SUMMER, IS NTLED A GROVE OF TALL, SUN-BLOCKG, AND SOIL-ACIDIFYG 100-YEAR-OLD WHE PE TRE. THE TRE ARE WILY REPUTED, BY LOL RINTS, TO BE GOOD FOR NOTHG. BUT THAT’S NOT TE. THEY’RE GREAT FOR PROVIDG VER FOR THE GROWTH OF ALKALE-LOVG MOSS. OF URSE, BEG ENMIC BREERS, OTHER PLANTS LIKE TO SEND THEIR SEEDLGS AND TRAILG ROOTS UP THROUGH THE FUZZY GREEN STUFF, SO ORR TO VELOP—AND ENURAGE FURTHER GROWTH OF—THE GEO RPET YOU SEE HERE, WE HAVE TO SPEND UNTLS HOURS CROUCHED DOWN ON THE GROUND PICKG EVERY OTHER LIVG SPROUT OUT OF OUR MOSS BY S ROOTS. OUR NEIGHBORS THK WE ARE LLECTG ANTS OR WORMS. (THEY ALSO THK WE ARE SANE AND SHOULD JT GET A LAWN.)DRARIUM CONSTCTN: WE HAVE BEEN OBSSED WH MIATURE DRAMAS FOR YEARS NOW—WHO HASN’T? WE’VE PURCHASED LARGE ETANDG ON, SMALL ON ENSED LUCE BOX, AND EVEN ONE THAT FORMS THE BASE OF A LAMP, ALL FEATURG DIVERSE SCEN OF WILDLIFE, GEOLOGIL FORMATNS, AND R WRECKS. BUT A FEW YEARS BACK WE NSTCTED ONE OUT THE YARD WH ONE OF OUR NEPHEWS THAT WAS MORE OF A “LIVG” DRAMA, WH SMALL PLANTS AND CLUMPS OF MOSS CLTERED AROUND A SCENE OF AN DTRIAL WASTELAND (PLETE WH A MIATURE BURNG TRASH BARREL). THIS GAVE THE IA OF CRAFTG SMALL, SELF-NTAED TABLEX VTAGE VR, EACH OF WHICH WOULD FEATURE AN TRIGUG LOTN, ADORABLE BUILDGS, AND LIVE FOLIAGE. OUR THOUGHTS TH FAR: DRIVE-IN MOVIE, FRONTIER VILLAGE, AND HNTED SUMMER CAMP (WH SLASHER’S LAIR/BODY P).MOST POPULARGEIA REPUBLINS SAY THEY'LL MOVE TO REMOVE FULTON COUNTY DA FANI WILLIS FROM OFFICE WH NEW STATE LAWBY ERIC LUTZMEGHAN MARKLE WILL BE JOG PRCE HARRY GERMANY FOR THE INVICT GAMBY ER VANRHOOFTHE TAN SUBMERSIBLE DISASTER WAS YEARS THE MAKG, NEW DETAILS REVEALBY SAN CASEYPICKLG: I HAVE LONG WANTED TO MAKE PICKL, BUT MY BF AND BFF PUT THE KIBOSH ON . “YOU ARE GAY ENOUGH ALREADY,” THEY TOLD ME. BUT TURNS OUT THEY WERE JT TEMPORARILY OPPOSED, BASED ON MY THEN-TENSE FATUATN WH ONLE CTNS OF A CERTA PATTERN OF 19TH-CENTURY ENGLISH TRANSFERWARE (RIDGWAYS PERSIA, IF YOU MT KNOW). SCE THAT HAS E TO AN END (PRETTY MUCH, I STILL BID ON THE OCSNAL PIECE; DON’T TELL THEM!), I’M APPARENTLY NOW ALLOWED TO DULGE THE VEGARED ALCHEMIL ARTS. I WANT TO START WH RADISH AND STRG BEANS. “FE,” THEY SAY. “BUT JT SO YOU DON’T GET ANY IAS, YOU NNOT START MAKG HOMEMA JAM!”MOST POPULARGEIA REPUBLINS SAY THEY'LL MOVE TO REMOVE FULTON COUNTY DA FANI WILLIS FROM OFFICE WH NEW STATE LAWBY ERIC LUTZMEGHAN MARKLE WILL BE JOG PRCE HARRY GERMANY FOR THE INVICT GAMBY ER VANRHOOFTHE TAN SUBMERSIBLE DISASTER WAS YEARS THE MAKG, NEW DETAILS REVEALBY SAN CASEYROSE TRELLISG: ONE DAY A FEW YEARS BACK, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, WOULDN’T BE OL TO BUILD SOMETHG? BUT LACKG ANY TOOLS, MATERIALS, SKILLS, SPATIAL-RELATNS TELLIGENCE, OR PLAN, THIS IS WHAT I CREATED: A WOBBLY TRELLIS FOR A WEIRD WILD ROSE BH THAT WAS GROWG THE ONT YARD. (THIS WAS BEFORE DEEPWATER HORIZON, BUT AFTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD, THOUGH NO OIL WELL REFERENCE WAS TEND.) NOW, TWO YEARS LATER, AFTER SCPULO PNG AND GUIDANCE, WE HAVE THIS BREATHTAKG DISPLAY. THE OTHER DAY, I TOLD MY BOYIEND I WANT TO EXPAND THIS STICK NSTCTN—WHICH I LIKE TO THK OF AS A PURE EXAMPLE OF THE ARTS-AND-CRAPS ATHETIC—TO A LOGGIA UNR WHICH WE N PLACE A TABLE. “THAT,” HE SAID, “IS A DISGTG IA.”ROSé CHUGGG: ROSé WE BEGAN S EBACK YEARS AGO, BUT WE ARE TAKG TO NEW LEVELS THIS SUMMER, PURCHASG BY THE SE—STILL AND SPARKLG—AND DRKG BY THE BOTTLE WHENEVER THE SUGGTN ARIS, A SORT OF GAY VERSN OF BROS ICG BROS. THERE IS A PLAN HERE. WE DON’T (JT) WANT TO GET DNK. WE WANT TO GET SO SICK OF THE LIC, LIGHT, MERALLY PK STUFF (OH, ’S JT SO PERFECT THE AFTERNOON, OR WH SOME GRILLED FISH, OR AFTER A SWIM THE LAKE) THAT WE WILL BE FORCED TO START A NEW ONEOPHILLIC TREND. I’M THKG ’S EHER GOG TO BE DRY WHE SANGRIA OR MERLOT SPRZERS.BRETT BERK WR GAILY ABOUT CULTURE, POLICS, AND RS FOR , AND IS THE THOR OF THE GAY UNCLE’S GUI TO PARENTG. VIS HIM AT OR FOLLOW HIM ON TWTER.BRETT BERK
The gay cis promise fun activi, excellent entertament and erari to tertg statns around the world. * summer is gay *
“Anytime you hear somebody say, ‘Oh, that’s gay, ’ or whatever, those thgs matter, ” said Rapoe, who didn’t e out to her teammat until llege.