On Gay Jealoy | Psychology Today

Contents:

• ON GAY JEALOY
• ON GAY JEALOY
• JEALOY TT (FOR GAY MEN)
• THE GAY COMMUNY’S OBSSN WH STAT AND LOOKS HAS HUGE MENTAL HEALTH COSTS
• SEXUAL JEALOY HETEROSEXUALS, LBIANS, AND GAYS
• 5 THGS J SAYS TO THE GAY COMMUNY

ON GAY JEALOY

I also say this as a gay man who, acrdg to mastream evolutnary thkg, shouldn't be terribly ncerned about his partner havg sex wh strangers.

Weeks of pg asi, Berg argu that while this emotnal/psychologil rponse may have origally been related to blogil ncerns (paterny assurance for men, rource flow for women), s ubiquy among homosexuals shows that the rponse is now eply embedd the human psyche, ncludg that, "sexual jealoy gay men n only be explaed by some sort of psdo-heterosexualy mdset simulatg straight men's hypervigilance to beg cuckold by their female partners. So, light of all this doctratn beg force-fed to young mds hetero and gay alike, why should we be surprised that jilted lovers often rpond wh childish outrage and terror? There are many ways to expla sexual jealoy gay men whout rortg to half-baked evolutnary theori of prehistoric cuckoldg.

So 's not surprisg that gay men cherish their ept nnectns and fear losg them jt as much as anyone else do.

ON GAY JEALOY

Tom is a psychotherapist and upl unselor at the Gay Therapy Center San Francis. I don’t know, i jt feel stupid for sayg i’m jealo of gay people while you have to face so many horrible stggl i mostly don’t. I feel most fortable wh the people and both my tik tok and stagram for you pag are all on the gay si.

I first thought maybe i feel so drawn to queer thgs and people bee i’m nrodivergent and the way gay people tend to break out of societal standarts and l mak me feel fortable bee i don’t feel like i f to society eher. But also when i see tiktok vio’s of lbian and gay upl i’m filled wh the same kd of jealoy. Jealoy Tt (For Gay Men).

JEALOY TT (FOR GAY MEN)

But what Pachankis and his lleagu began to notice their work was that gay and bisexual men reported feelg much of their strs g om their peers, or what a new study led by Pachankis lls tra-mory strs. And is the most signifint of s kd to exame muny strsors among gay and bisexual fdgs reveal what many the muny know all too well: that gay and bisexual men n be pretty harsh wh one another and wh ourselv tryg to measure up.

Spoke to Pachankis about the leadg strsors that origate wh the muny, their effects on mental and physil health, and how gay and bisexual men might better support one another and venture to move forward were the major prsur you found affectg the mental health of gay and bisexual men?

One was strs related to perceivg that the gay muny is overly foced on sex at the expense of long-term relatnships or iendships.

THE GAY COMMUNY’S OBSSN WH STAT AND LOOKS HAS HUGE MENTAL HEALTH COSTS

The send was that the gay muny is overly foced on stat-related ncerns—thgs like masculy, attractivens, and wealth.

The third was related to perceptns that the gay muny is overly petive, that upholds this kd of sha culture and general social petn. The fourth was that the gay muny is exclnary of diversy, cludg racial-ethnic diversy and age diversy, and discrimatory towards gay men wh rearch fds that each of the class of strsors is associated wh prsn and anxiety. But some likely have a distct impact pendg on where a gay or bisexual man falls along the stat-based peckg orr that a lot of people talked about perceivg as a e of strs.

To the extent that we know ourselv through the reflectn of others, what we fd is that gay and bisexual men might be particularly likely to size themselv up g the same standards of attractivens and succs and masculy that they e to size up their potential sex partners, which n be particularly groups did you fd were disproportnately affected?

SEXUAL JEALOY HETEROSEXUALS, LBIANS, AND GAYS

It pends on the class of strsor, but broadly speakg, men of lor were more likely to perceive what we ll gay muny strs. We also found that younger men pared to olr men were more strsed, and that bisexual men were ls likely to experience this type of gay muny strs. Obvly, the greatt sourc of HIV risk are stctural disadvantag, particular the stctural forms of homophobia and racism that affect gay and bisexual men of lor, disproportnately.

To my knowledge, no prev studi had really homed on the strs that gay and bisexual men might experience wh each other as predictors of HIV found a rrelatn where gay and bisexual men who are particularly strsed by the gay muny’s foc on sex, stat, and petn or who were likely to perceive the gay muny as exclnary of diversy were more likely to engage sex whout ndoms or PrEP their daily liv. It beme clear my clil work that gay and bisexual men ce strsors om wh the gay muny.

5 THGS J SAYS TO THE GAY COMMUNY

At the same time, I knew that any rearch that shows stigma or heterosexism is not the sole e of gay and bisexual men's poor mental health uld potentially be ed to somehow return to this old historic argument that somehow gay and bisexual men were herently I was fortable proceedg wh the studi bee I knew they uld potentially be a ll for actn wh the gay muny, to crease s embrace of what have historilly been s most remarkable attribut—s abily to support each other the fac of ernment neglect, to thk creatively about how to form iendships and partnerships, and ultimately how to urageoly look wh and form a muny that LGBTQ+ people n be proud there solutns to the muny dynamics suggted by your rearch? One of the least equently endorsed ems on our surveys was that gay men aren’t good iends to each other, which really suggts that relyg on and strengtheng iendships the face of some of the more strsful aspects of the gay muny would be a sure route to protect agast that type of the extent that gay muny spac move onle to platforms like Grdr, the norms for munitn and for muny get grad and brought down to the lowt mon nomator. So I thk another terventn would be eher to prerve brick-and-mortar spac, where people n ntue to ngregate diverse, open ways; or enhance onle platforms to facilate more sense of muny over expedient thg that’s often been untilized the gay muny is tergeneratnal mentorship.