Twenty-two years ago, I asked my dad if he was gay. Then he was gone.

Contents:

• GROWG UP WH A GAY FATHER – CONFSNS OM A STRAIGHT SON
• HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY
• MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER THE DAY I FOUND OUT MY FATHER WAS GAY
• THE GAY FATHER I NEVER KNEW
• MY DAD COMG OUT AS GAY CHANGED OUR LIV — AND GAVE ME THE COURAGE TO BE MYSELF

GROWG UP WH A GAY FATHER – CONFSNS OM A STRAIGHT SON

In late 1980, at a support group for gay fathers, my dad met Lnel –– the man wh whom he would spend the next 23 years. He had seemed kd of lost his new life – phg 60, recently divorced om my mother, recently out of the closet as gay man. He asked that I march wh him, alongsi the other gay fathers and their kids, the Los Angel Pri Para.

What I do remember was that someone had ma T-shirts that said "I LOVE MY GAY DAD" and I refed to wear one. I told my dad, “I love you, but not bee you’re gay. ” The tth, though, is that I lacked the urage to stand all the way up for my father and his ras agast a homophobic and different world.

HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY

I probably left my "I LOVE MY GAY DAD" T-shirt next to the box had e out of, though I might have taken home wh me and buried a drawer.

Pete Wilson’s office, or at the Natnal March on Washgton for Lbian and Gay dad and his hband lost a lot of iends to AIDS. Even when I was an obnox 22-year-old and wouldn’t put on a T-shirt to clare, unashamed, unembarrassed and unapologetic, that I love my gay dad. But I knew he was gay by the time I was 7 or 8.

MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER THE DAY I FOUND OUT MY FATHER WAS GAY

So this is my story of growg up wh a gay father. Growg up wh a gay father, particularly one who was aaid to e out, prented challeng our abily to get emotnally close.

I don’t rell a time when I didn’t know my Dad was gay. From my earlit memori of my Dad around age 5, I thk I always knew my dad was gay. Th I never had that aha moment of realizg “I have a gay father”!

To hear both of them tell , my Dad beg gay wasn’t a factor the spl. How my Dad me to terms wh beg gay. I don’t thk anyone knew yet that my Dad was gay.

THE GAY FATHER I NEVER KNEW

After all, he was the son of a Baptist Preacher and there would not have been much tolerance the 1940’s or 50’s for him to e out as gay.

MY DAD COMG OUT AS GAY CHANGED OUR LIV — AND GAVE ME THE COURAGE TO BE MYSELF

In talkg to both of them over the years, they both claim they had no ia my Dad was gay. In retrospect, the fact that he was a cheerlear his bt iend was a male hairdrser (who was openly gay) that my Uncle Buddy nicknamed him “Percy” (which my Dad hated) and that my Dad went on to open a home furnishgs store might have been a clue.