I'm 43 – but I'm ma to feel like a dosr by younger gay men | Metro News

im gay and can't find a boyfriend

Learn how gay men n overe the hurdl and fd Mr. Right.

Contents:

GAY AND CAN'T FD A PARTNER?

* im gay and can't find a boyfriend *

OK, so, you’re gay, and you want to fd a partner and eventually a hband; someone wh whom to share your life.

HOW TO GET A MAN (FOR GAY MEN)

He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay. * im gay and can't find a boyfriend *

You thk that maybe ’s jt not possible for gay men to have long-term relatnships.

There mt be some tth to the old joke: “What do a gay man brg on a send date?

As an openly gay man wh over 30 years of experience as a therapist, I have seen sr of sgle gay men sabotage their efforts to fd a partner, placg obstacl their own path—whout havg the slightt ia as to what they are dog and why.

I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

‘In gay years, you’re rather past your sell-by date, aren’t you?’ the person ont of me said, raisg an eyebrow.  * im gay and can't find a boyfriend *

Fortunately, I have also learned how to intify and name the self-featg and often hidn hurdl—and have disvered that they are beliefs that too many gay men repeat to themselv, often whout even knowg .

Consirg the biphobic society we live , would be naive to thk datg a bi guy is the exact same as datg a gay or straight guy. * im gay and can't find a boyfriend *

In my experience, this ternalized belief is the poison that prevents some gay men om buildg a healthy relatnship, and also why many ms up the on they already have. Some of have been bullied as children; physilly, verbally, and emotnally abed at tenr ag by our peers and fay members for beg gay before we even regnized and unrstood our same-sex attractns.

Sadly, the wounds are difficult to heal, and as a rult, n leave gay men wh the sense that we are unlovable and th unworthy of love, affectn, and happs. For sure, so much of the gay male world is way too foced on looks, youth, the gym, partyg, and fast hookups; so searchg for Mr. Right is like lookg for a needle a gaystack.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* IM GAY AND CAN'T FIND A BOYFRIEND

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