Chigo: Catholic LGBT Mistry Lear to ‘Marry’ Gay Partner

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* LGBT CATHOLIC CHURCH CHICAGO

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"We are acceptg here, we're clive and we have a space for you if you're terted."</p></div><div class="articleMeta__ContaerWrapper-sc-mnxmjt-0 kiZEZ article-meta article-meta--top irvg__ntaer irvg__ntaer--articleMeta"><div class="flt__SocialShargWrapper-sc-1ap9xvz-0 fInWHe article-meta__social-sharg irvg__post-social-sharg irvg__post-social-sharg--pill"><ul class="pill__SocialShargList-sc-19unuas-0 hpxHWY post-social-sharg__list"><li class="pill__SocialShargItemWrapper-sc-19unuas-1 iWrpEJ redd"><a class="flt__LkWrapper-sc-iyf4mi-0 hcvtma --flt" href=" rel="" target="_blank"><span class="pill__InWrapper-sc-19unuas-2 iCbVVq redd"><svg stroke="currentColor" fill="currentColor" stroke-width="0" viewBox="0 0 24 24" height="1em" width="1em" xmlns="><tle>Share on redd</tle><path fill-le="evenodd" d="M15.57,15.284 C14.673,15.284 13.91925,14.5565 13.91925,13.6595 C13.91925,12.7625 14.673,12.011 15.57,12.011 C16.467,12.011 17.1945,12.7625 17.1945,13.6595 C17.1945,14.5565 16.467,15.284 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class="article__ImageMeta-sc-7s8aer-3 eBXNjs"><figptn class="article__ImageCaptn-sc-7s8aer-4 hrwttr">Easter service at St. Clement's, where a group of parishners have formed an anizatn, Affirmed, to build bridg between Catholicism and the LGBTQ muny.</figptn><span class="article__ImageCred-sc-7s8aer-5 ieDIYX">Provid/Michele V Wagner Photography</span></div></figure></div></div><div class="flt__ContaerWrapper-sc-1k8y94x-0 bTqzht article-ntent-ntaer irvg__ntaer irvg__ntaer--flt"><div class="ntentWidth__ContaerWrapper-sc-1p9n6rf-0 gnvRpv irvg__ntaer irvg__ntaer--ntentWidth"><div class="flt__CredibilyInditorsWrapper-sc-18725oc-0 iUZmNj le-mon__credibily-ditors le-mon__credibily-ditors--flt"><ul class="credibily-ditors__list"><li class="credibily-ditors__list-em"><span class="flt__TextWrapper-sc-hmou3q-0 nVGhA credibily-ditors__tle irvg__text irvg__text--flt">Credibily:</span></li><li class="credibily-ditors__list-em"><div class="flt__PopoverWrapper-sc-19b13eh-0 aA-dxY le-mon__popover 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class="articleContent__Wrapper-sc-1rqfqf-0 bDtujo le-mon__article-ntent pi-ntent le-mon__gutenberg-ntent le-mon__gutenberg-ntent--articleContent" id="pi"><p>LINCOLN PARK — When Kathere Abel held the first meetg for Affirmed, a mistry based out of St. Clement’s parish Lln Park that weled LGBTQ Catholics, she expected perhaps a dozen people to turn out.</p><p>To Abel’s surprise, more than 40 Catholics om the Chigo area and Indiana showed up for a readg that foced on buildg bridg between Catholicism and the LGBTQ muny.</p><p>“We had someone who was g om northwt Indiana, so he was drivg two hours,” Abel said. “But was somethg that he didn’t have his area, and he need so much that was worth to him once a month to e out and jo person.”</p><p>Abel, who is a straight ally, -found Affirmed 2019 the hop she uld create a space where her sister, who is queer, would feel safe. She wasn’t aaid to approach her pastor about formg the group; St. Clement’s, 642 W. Demg Place, had a history of rg for members of the LGBTQ muny, and Abel knew members of the church intified as queer.</p><p>The group gathered wh members of other nearby parish, cludg St. Vcent Pl, 1010 W. Webster Ave.; and Our Lady of Mount Carmel, 708 W. Belmont Ave.; for the Affirmed meetg.</p><p>“I wanted to be very clear and explic: … We are acceptg here, we’re clive and we have a space for you if you’re terted,” said Abel, 38.</p><p>After the first meetg, members cid to tablish Affirmed as an opportuny for readg and fah sharg, whether that meant as a Bible study or book club. Affirmed members also started volunteerg wh youth experiencg homelsns, many of whom intified as LGBTQ.</p><p>When the panmic h 2020, Affirmed’s members psed their -person mistry but kept up the book club. The tradn beme a bean of light not jt for queer Catholics, but those seekg a sense of normalcy durg COVID, members said.</p><p>“It was the prence of the book club, which was jt somethg that always happens every week at the same time, that jt gave me a sense of stabily,” said member Hyunm Park. “Especially durg the panmic, when everybody was so aaid and nfed, this was an onle space that we uld all go to and somehow people were really mted to g to this group.”</p><figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img siz="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" srcSet=" 6486w, 300w, 768w, 1024w, 1536w, 2048w, 1080w, 72w, 564w, 615w, 114w, 254w, 507w, 1013w, 2025w, 600w, 1200w, 1366w" class="wp-image-545341" alt="" src=" height="683" width="1024" loadg="lazy" dg="async"/><span class="image-cred"><strong>Cred: </strong> Provid/Michele V Wagner Photography</span><figptn class="wp-element-ptn">St. Clement’s, where a group of parishners have formed an anizatn, Affirmed, to build bridg between Catholicism and the LGBTQ muny.</figptn></figure><p>Gog to church was a big part of Park’s childhood South Korea, where queer muni still face discrimatn and a lack of protectns. She didn’t go to mass for a while after g out as bisexual her mid-20s, but she was lookg for ways to get back when she disvered St. Clement’s.</p><p>“I knew that there are Catholic church that are LGBT-affirmg, but I wasn’t sure how to tell,” Park said. “I felt like whenever I went to a Catholic church space, there was always a chance that I would hear somethg that would make me feel unwele. Then I jt didn’t want to expose myself to that sort of emotnal risk.”</p><p>Park stggl wh what the Catholic church says about her sexualy and believ the stutn has harmed queer people. Yet she also said affirmg LGBTQ muni is at the heart of Christian teachgs to love your neighbors, and she thks the church is progrsg a posive directn.</p><p>Ryan Zieman saw signs of that progrs when he watched Old St. Patrick’s Church pastor Father Tom Hurley give the benedictn at Mayor Lori Lightfoot’s guratn, he said.</p><p>“I’m like, well, if he’s dog that for our our new queer mayor, they mt be a really open-md Catholic parish,” Zieman said.</p><p>After rearchg LGBT-iendly parish, Zieman disvered Affirmed and attend one of s earlit meetgs fall 2019. He was his late 20s; before that, had never met or really heard of other young, queer Catholics, he said. Like Park, he has stayed wh the church bee he feels s tradns, orr of mass and history provi a source of stabily for him a chaotic world, he said.</p><p>“I’m never not gog to be Catholic for all of those reasons. I uld jo another … sect of Christiany that is more like ‘rah, rah, rabows and unirns, go gay,’ but that’s not who I am and that’s not why I have the fah that I have,” Zieman said. “I’m tryg to do my ltle part to help progrs the church and, at the very least, to be part of a space that is open and welg to queer Catholics or even jt to let people know that we exist.”</p><p>Affirmed isn’t the first mistry for queer Catholics Chigo.</p><p>In 1988, Cardal Joseph Bernard tablished the Archdce Gay and Lbian Outreach. Bernard was a pragmatic centrist who found a middle ground wh the Church hierarchy on gay issu, said Michael O’Loughl, thor of “Hidn Mercy: AIDS, Catholics, and the Untold Stori of Compassn the Face of Fear.” At the time, takg a more nciliatory tone wh the LGBTQ muny and tablishg a group was a unique move for a rdal.</p><p>Bernard was steadfast his support for Chigo’s gay muny, particularly durg the AIDS crisis, said Joe Vek, director of muny outreach at Archdce Gay and Lbian Outreach.</p><p>But the archbishop’s relatnship wh queer people was more plex. In 1986, he opposed a <a rel="noreferrer noopener" target="_blank" href=">proposed ordance</a> Chigo outlawg discrimatn agast gay people. The followg year, he supported the cisn of five lol parish to admister munal r to those wh AIDS. The rdal also lled upon Catholics to “open their doors and their hearts to those touched any way by AIDS, as well as to their iends and fay.”</p><p>For some queer Catholics, Bernard’s words of fort rang hollow. Rick Garcia, then executive director of the Catholic Advote for Lbian and Gay Rights, wrote a 1987 Tribune op-ed that the archdce failed to provi meangful outreach to those sufferg.</p><p>“While other Catholic dc have provid fundg for direct servic to people wh AIDS, opened hospic and taken learship rol AIDS tn, the Archdce of Chigo has done virtually nothg,” Garcia wrote.</p><figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img siz="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" srcSet=" 6346w, 300w, 768w, 1024w, 1536w, 2048w, 1080w, 72w, 564w, 615w, 114w, 253w, 507w, 1012w, 2025w, 600w, 1200w, 1366w" class="wp-image-545343" alt="" src=" height="683" width="1024" loadg="lazy" dg="async"/><span class="image-cred"><strong>Cred: </strong> Provid/Michele V Wagner Photography</span><figptn class="wp-element-ptn">St. Clement’s, where a group of parishners have formed an anizatn, Affirmed, to build bridg between Catholicism and the LGBTQ muny.</figptn></figure><p>Parishners at St. Clement’s did take actn. Its lotn not far om Boystown placed at the epicenter of the epimic. The parish already served sick people who were unable to leave their hom, and adapted those servic to HIV and AIDS patients, O’Loughl said.</p><p>“What might have been unique about St. Clement’s and some other parish around the untry was they were willg to engage mistry wh a muny that was so margalized and the topic of homosexualy was so taboo the church,” he said. “That took a lot of urage.”</p><p>St. Clement’s servic were simple. AIDS would sicken patients to the pot that they beme homebound. Cut off om iends and fay, parishners would do grocery shoppg, prepare meals and clean their hom for them, O’Loughl said. Viss om volunteers also provid rpe om the lonels flicted by the social stigma that me wh AIDS at the time.</p><p>“You had groups at Catholic parish like St Clement’s that would simply listen to those qutns, engage nversatns about them, provi kd of pastoral re, maybe send a prit over who you knew would be non-judgmental and be prent,” O’Loughl said. “Those kds of thgs, they sound kd of mundane, but they were val, pecially those early years before pharmactil treatments improved.”</p><p>The church also beme a refuge for people mourng loved on lost to AIDS. In “Hidn Mercy,” O’Loughl scrib the AIDS Pastoral Care Network’s ndlelight vigil held each Memorial Day Weekend. Startg 1986, the vigil would beg at St. Clement’s, and subdued marchers would proceed through Boystown. Catholics, leathermen and an Ain Amerin Catholic children’s choir sang, wept and prayed durg an terfah service held si the ornate, Byzante church.</p><p>Whether St. Clement’s today is an outlier s attu on LGBTQ issu or a lear a gradual liberalizatn the church is a difficult qutn even for queer Catholics Affirmed. For every progrsive parish like St. Clement’s or Old St. Patricks, there are more nservative church.</p><p>“There’s always gog to be the ltle ternal stggl and movements, but this thg has been around for 2,000 years and ’s, God willg, gog to ntue,” Affirmed member Marty Malone said. “There’s been some good movement right now the past maybe dozen years wh the LGBT muny, but ’s still so small on the sle…Wh that said, I’m still very posive about the outlook.”</p><p>Although there may be hts of change om Pope Francis, Affirmed member Brian Christ hasn’t seen enough evince of progrs at an anizatnal level.</p><p>“I thk dividually people feel very wele. They feel part of their dividual parish and muni,” Christ said. “Perhaps that’s where the change will e om.”</p><p>For Affirmed members like Park, ’s the dividuals they meet through mistry groups that brg them back to the church, not the msage om Pope Francis, whom she believ should take a stronger, more affirmg stance on LGBTQ issu. While not every Catholic muny may wele her full inty, she’s grateful to have found Affirmed.</p><p>“For a long time, I felt like I uldn’t exist both spac at the same time, or I uldn’t hold onto both inti at the same time, beg Catholic and beg queer,” Park said. “And was jt a matter of fdg the right set of people. … So I jt want to say that for the sake of other people out there who feel isolated and who feel like they they n’t hold on to both inti, jt that ’s possible. You jt have to fd other iends who are like you.”</p><p class="pi__hi-for-payg"><em><a rel="noreferrer noopener" target="_blank" href=">Subscribe to Block Club Chigo</a>, an pennt, 501(c)(3), journalist-n newsroom. Every dime we make funds reportg om Chigo’s neighborhoods.</em></p><p class="pi__hi-for-payg"><em>Click <a rel="noreferrer noopener" target="_blank" href=">here</a> to support Block Club wh a <a rel="noreferrer noopener" target="_blank" href=">tax-ductible donatn.</a></em> </p><p class="pi__show-for-payg"><em>Thanks for subscribg to Block Club Chigo, an pennt, 501(c)(3), journalist-n newsroom. 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