Gay and Can't Fd a Partner? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• WHY ARE SO MANY GAY ROMANCE NOVELS WRTEN BY STRAIGHT WOMEN?
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN
• GAY ROMANCE: EROTIC?
• GAY AND CAN'T FD A PARTNER?
• WHAT WOMEN WANT: GAY MALE ROMANCE NOVELS
• ‘I JT WANT SOMETHG THAT’S GAY AND HAPPY’: L.G.B.T.Q. ROMANCE IS BOOMG

WHY ARE SO MANY GAY ROMANCE NOVELS WRTEN BY STRAIGHT WOMEN?

(Technilly what I’m talkg about is lled “male/male romance”; “gay romance” is wrten by gay men for gay men, may not foc on a romantic relatnship, and don’t guarantee a happily-ever-after. The first time I noticed this, I flipped the book over my hands, back and forth, lookg at the ultra-gay ver art, and then the thor’s photo on the back.

In this dynamic, which I see enacted gay romance novels, the tth of the man’s queerns is erased, bee the character is gay only the ways the straight woman thor n image. The characters, who are labeled as gay, are only fantasi — -straight women’s fantasi, shared wh an dience of straight women. When a straight woman cis to “reem” the gay narrative by makg her ma characters mastream-hot, cisgenred, able-bodied guys, and “giv them” a happy endg, she is not makg progrs.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN

My cricism of straight women -optg gay bodi for their own pleasure is based on the belief that no person n ethilly e other people, pecially margalized people, to benef themselv. Straight women seem to feel entled to wre gay characters bee they thk homosexualy is simply an herent sire to attract and please a man.

The gems are the fulfillment of what gay romance n be: LGBTQ thors, wrg about LGBTQ characters, for an dience of all kds of rears, cludg straight women.

GAY ROMANCE: EROTIC?

As Gee Michael told The Guardian a 2005 terview: “Gay people the media are dog what mak straight people fortable, and tomatilly my rponse to that is to say I’m a dirty filthy fucker and if you n’t al wh , you n’t al wh .

Instead of perpetuatg the dynamic of gay men tg straight women, or signg their choic, straight women who want to wre gay romance might ask themselv the qutns any wrer should: Why am I wrg this? Instead of occupyg space a genre that objectifi gay people, is better to support gay thors, pecially wrers of gay romance and other LGBTQ-centered stori. Sure, an ocsnal teenage girl falls for a boy who's gay, but don't take most girls very long to figure out that, this se, where there's smoke, there's most fely not fire.

In general, the attractn women feel for gay men tends to be emotnal nature, clearg the way for a highly satisfyg relatnship that outlasts most other relatnships gay men and straight women have. To beg, I'll addrs how and why straight women are emotnally attracted to gay men—an attractn, by the way, that is returned by gay men spas. Send, straight women love gay men bee closens wh gay men provis a wdow to how the mds of men work, somethg that women want to know as they navigate datg waters wh their straight male peers.

GAY AND CAN'T FD A PARTNER?

Though there are, of urse, differenc between straight and gay men, gay men are neverthels men who share many characteristics and motivatns wh straight men. When to the sexualy of young straight and gay men—meang, how equently they thk about sex, want , or feel impatient to get to the actual sex part—there are undoubtedly siari. When a straight woman hangs out wh a gay man, she begs to put the puzzle together that men, general, treat sex differently than women do.

In general, gay men, and gay women, too, tend to be more fearls than their straight unterparts—particularly straight men—bee they’ve ually experienced bullyg and prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn. Meanwhile, gay men have the social license to be as outrageo or emotnal as they want to be bee gay men don't have to f to such a tightly prcribed role.

WHAT WOMEN WANT: GAY MALE ROMANCE NOVELS

The group of women I’m referrg to are often lled "f*g hags, " a term that manag to be rogatory toward two groups: women and gay men. Instead, they feel more fortable removg the sexual factor that exists at straight bars and prefer the harmlsns that wh socializg wh gay men gay surroundgs.

This type of relatnship is often unhealthy, wh women choosg gay men as iends for superficial reasons: bee they're more fun and love to shop. Siarly, their gay male iends often treat their female iends as social accsori until the men fd a guy to hook up wh up later the night. If straight women and gay men foc on fdg iendships where there's te emotnal patibily and rpect, they n velop one of the most rewardg relatnships a person uld have.

Diamond noted that passnate iendships among men are nsired un-mascule and culturally problematic bee “highly timate and affectnate same-genr iendships are more likely to engenr spicn of homosexualy when they occur between men than when they occur between women. Bromance might have been vented as a ver, an acceptable cultural script manufactured to let men be emotnally vulnerable wh each other while beg protected om the stigma of gayns. Wele to the Group Read for "Why Straight Women Love Gay Romance", by Geofey has been a burng qutn for me, and I know many, many others for que a while now.

‘I JT WANT SOMETHG THAT’S GAY AND HAPPY’: L.G.B.T.Q. ROMANCE IS BOOMG

32 women across 9 untri and 4 ntents – om the world’s bt sellg romance thors to the biggt female fans of Gay Male Romance — are about to reveal — Why Straight Women Love Gay Romance. A whole world of sexy, gay men rangg om smart, strong, globe-trotters to young, nocent and amoro to broken, dangero and on and on. Brockmann's character Jul was one of the first gay characters I've been exposed to a romance seri that end up wh his own story and HEA.

I'm sure all of have experienced that gay male sikick iend who n bee somewhat of a stock character offerg up phy ments and universal tths to the hero/heroe so that they n fd THEIR HEA.

Now I SWEAR I'm not a homophobe, was jt the most graphic thg I had every really read at that pot and sred the sh out of me. Well first I lled this gay guy, Jason, om school who really only gave me his number to help wh his homework and bombard him wh qutns about lube, and dildos. I thk a lot of the appeal om the fact that I will never be a gay guy, therefore 's somethg pletely foreign to me and adds to the trigue.