Why Straight Women Are Attracted to Gay Men | Psychology Today New Zealand

Contents:

• WHY ARE SO MANY GAY ROMANCE NOVELS WRTEN BY STRAIGHT WOMEN?
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN
• GAY ROMANCE: EROTIC?
• GAY AND CAN'T FD A PARTNER?
• WHAT WOMEN WANT: GAY MALE ROMANCE NOVELS
• ‘I JT WANT SOMETHG THAT’S GAY AND HAPPY’: L.G.B.T.Q. ROMANCE IS BOOMG

WHY ARE SO MANY GAY ROMANCE NOVELS WRTEN BY STRAIGHT WOMEN?

(Technilly what I’m talkg about is lled “male/male romance”; “gay romance” is wrten by gay men for gay men, may not foc on a romantic relatnship, and don’t guarantee a happily-ever-after. The first time I noticed this, I flipped the book over my hands, back and forth, lookg at the ultra-gay ver art, and then the thor’s photo on the back. In this dynamic, which I see enacted gay romance novels, the tth of the man’s queerns is erased, bee the character is gay only the ways the straight woman thor n image.

The characters, who are labeled as gay, are only fantasi — -straight women’s fantasi, shared wh an dience of straight women. When a straight woman cis to “reem” the gay narrative by makg her ma characters mastream-hot, cisgenred, able-bodied guys, and “giv them” a happy endg, she is not makg progrs. My cricism of straight women -optg gay bodi for their own pleasure is based on the belief that no person n ethilly e other people, pecially margalized people, to benef themselv.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN

Straight women seem to feel entled to wre gay characters bee they thk homosexualy is simply an herent sire to attract and please a man. The gems are the fulfillment of what gay romance n be: LGBTQ thors, wrg about LGBTQ characters, for an dience of all kds of rears, cludg straight women.

GAY ROMANCE: EROTIC?

As Gee Michael told The Guardian a 2005 terview: “Gay people the media are dog what mak straight people fortable, and tomatilly my rponse to that is to say I’m a dirty filthy fucker and if you n’t al wh , you n’t al wh .

Instead of perpetuatg the dynamic of gay men tg straight women, or signg their choic, straight women who want to wre gay romance might ask themselv the qutns any wrer should: Why am I wrg this?

Instead of occupyg space a genre that objectifi gay people, is better to support gay thors, pecially wrers of gay romance and other LGBTQ-centered stori.

GAY AND CAN'T FD A PARTNER?

Sure, an ocsnal teenage girl falls for a boy who's gay, but don't take most girls very long to figure out that, this se, where there's smoke, there's most fely not fire.

WHAT WOMEN WANT: GAY MALE ROMANCE NOVELS

In general, the attractn women feel for gay men tends to be emotnal nature, clearg the way for a highly satisfyg relatnship that outlasts most other relatnships gay men and straight women have.

To beg, I'll addrs how and why straight women are emotnally attracted to gay men—an attractn, by the way, that is returned by gay men spas. Send, straight women love gay men bee closens wh gay men provis a wdow to how the mds of men work, somethg that women want to know as they navigate datg waters wh their straight male peers.

Though there are, of urse, differenc between straight and gay men, gay men are neverthels men who share many characteristics and motivatns wh straight men. When to the sexualy of young straight and gay men—meang, how equently they thk about sex, want , or feel impatient to get to the actual sex part—there are undoubtedly siari. When a straight woman hangs out wh a gay man, she begs to put the puzzle together that men, general, treat sex differently than women do.

‘I JT WANT SOMETHG THAT’S GAY AND HAPPY’: L.G.B.T.Q. ROMANCE IS BOOMG

In general, gay men, and gay women, too, tend to be more fearls than their straight unterparts—particularly straight men—bee they’ve ually experienced bullyg and prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn. Meanwhile, gay men have the social license to be as outrageo or emotnal as they want to be bee gay men don't have to f to such a tightly prcribed role. The group of women I’m referrg to are often lled "f*g hags, " a term that manag to be rogatory toward two groups: women and gay men.