As assiatn to more mastream culture creas, many gay men are shiftg their attus on non-tradnal relatnships—beg ls acceptg of them.
Contents:
- A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE
- NEGOTIATG GAY MEN'S RELATNSHIPS: HOW ARE MONOGAMY AND NON-MONOGAMY EXPERIENCED AND PRACTISED OVER TIME?
- GAY MEN MONOGAMO RELATNSHIPS: WHAT WORKS?
- GAY MEN’S STORI OF MONOGAMY AND NON-MONOGAMY: CHANGE, FLEXIBILY AND TENSNS
- SEXUAL AGREEMENTS AMONG GAY MALE COUPL
A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE
A nversatn about open and monogamo marriage, for gay men and for all. * gay monogamous relationship *
I had the opportuny to talk wh psychotherapist and thor Michael Dale Kimmel about his new book, The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage. MDK: I began offerg workshops for gay, bisexual, and transgenr men about eighteen years’ ago, and after a uple of years there were always a few guys who me up to me and said ( whispered ton), “You’ve got to put this stuff a book. While there are lots of books about how to plan your gay weddg, there were virtually none that addrs what to do after the honeymoon is over (lerally and figuratively).
The Gay Man’s Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage dar to ask the qutn: is monogamy or an open relatnship (or a batn of both) the bt way to stcture your marriage? Same-sex marriage has been a long time g – a few thoand years or so - and now that ’s fally here, many gay, bisexual and transgenr men may thk that ’s a bad ia to “rock the boat” by discsg the kds of ias that this book prents. I believe that now is the perfect time to qutn what gay marriage n, should and will be, while is still relatively new, h and malleable.
NEGOTIATG GAY MEN'S RELATNSHIPS: HOW ARE MONOGAMY AND NON-MONOGAMY EXPERIENCED AND PRACTISED OVER TIME?
When viewed over time, many gay men's relatnships are not static, or firmly fixed to monogamy or non-monogamy. This paper -pth terviews wh 61 Atralian gay men to explore how monogamy and non-monogamy are experienced over time, expectatns of what nstut the norms regardg gay … * gay monogamous relationship *
While marriage wasn’t a possibily then, the qutns those workshops were basilly the same as those this book: as gay men, do we choose the monogamy of heterosexual marriage as our mol, or do we prefer an open marriage? As a psychotherapist for gay upl for many years’ now, ’s been que clear to me that “handbooks” for heterosexual marriage don’t really apply to our marriag several signifint ways: our marriag are more “signed” than “assumed. I wrote the chapter about “refg genr rol, " bee we have an amazg opportuny as married gay men to terme who we are as two men, married to each other.
This book enurag everyone, not jt gay men, to take a good look at that formidable stutn and beg to ask some big, meangful qutns, like:.
The are not jt qutns for gay upl, they are qutns for all upl: my polyamoro straight clients are alg wh the very same stuff. I’ve seen this kd of relatnship many of the gay marriag – both open and monogamo - that I’ve had the pleasure to work wh.
GAY MEN MONOGAMO RELATNSHIPS: WHAT WORKS?
* gay monogamous relationship *
This appears to acknowledge the lack of nversatn and openns amongst upl—gay or straight—that leads to a pture the relatnship and exs om timacy.
I’ve noticed that for gay male relatnships, cheatg has ls of a negative impact than for heterosexuals—or even lbians, for that matter. My ncern is that gay men may thk that cheatg is a “natural” part of any gay relatnship and therefore, a foregone ncln—which is not the se. Gay male upl often report that what works bt for them is to engage sexual enunters based on sexual attractn only and not emotns or affectn.
GAY MEN’S STORI OF MONOGAMY AND NON-MONOGAMY: CHANGE, FLEXIBILY AND TENSNS
I’ve heard upl, gay and straight, voice their anxiety that their partner liked the other person more, enjoyed some sexual behavr om the other person more, and so on.
This paper -pth terviews wh 61 Atralian gay men to explore how monogamy and non-monogamy are experienced over time, expectatns of what nstut the norms regardg gay men's relatnships and how upl experience and practic change. Although some gay men may ialise monogamy, particularly at the begng of a relatnship, is often experienced as temporary. Non-monogamy is often seen as a likely prospect for gay relatnships owg to the social and cultural norms that operate gay muni.
SEXUAL AGREEMENTS AMONG GAY MALE COUPL
The fdgs shed light on how gay men approach change to the stat of 'fily' wh their relatnships, and the tensns and opportuni that change n produce for upl.
The realy, acrdg to good rearch, is that hundreds of thoands of gay men long term relatnships are enjoyg sexually satisfyg monogamo relatnships.
You’ll fd them volunteerg at gay muny anizatns, fdg spiratn at gay cultural events, or buildg their skills at gay recreatnal or tnal clubs. People satisfyg monogamo relatnships don't have reason to be I speak to gay men who are satisfyg monogamo relatnships, they're never angered.