Gay "Sis": How Language Fre Us to be Ourselv | Psychology Today

Contents:

• A BRIEF HISTORY OF GAY SIGNALG, OM HANKY S TO THAT 'WHAT GAY GUYS ARE ACTUALLY LIKE' VIO
• GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV
• THE FOTTEN SECRET LANGUAGE OF GAY MEN
• GAY NASHVILLE
• I WENT ON MY FIRST GAY CISE — HERE'S WHAT IT WAS LIKE

A BRIEF HISTORY OF GAY SIGNALG, OM HANKY S TO THAT 'WHAT GAY GUYS ARE ACTUALLY LIKE' VIO

Larry Craig, R-Idaho, a men's rtroom at the Mneapolis airport for allegedly lookg to engage gay sex wrote his June report that he "regnized a signal ed by persons wishg to engage lewd nduct.

Craig told reporters today that he did nothg appropriate and said his guilty plea was a plac like men's rtrooms, airports and tra statns, tck stops, universy librari and parks, have long been plac where gay and bisexual men, particularly those the closet, ngregate orr to meet for anonymo time, people faiar wh cisg told, gay men began g a dified system of signals to dite to others that they were terted sex. In an effort to curb lewd acts public — or as some gays argue, an effort to persecute gay men — unrver police began stg operatns plac known for sex solicg and employed the same s. Bee much of the signalg is self benign behavr, some gay rights activists and lawyers have admonished police partments for arrtg men who have done ltle more than tap their feet.

If a se like this went to trial, police officers would have to produce evince to say here is how we n say wh certaty this is was really a lewd act, " he plead guilty to the charg and therefore opted agast a, Craig nied beg gay and said he ma a mistake by pleadg officers, for the most part, only vtigate an area after members of the public have plaed about beg ed for sex, said Rich Gregson, executive director of the California Peace Officers Associatn.

GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV

"Wh many other optns available for gay men to meet each other, Gershen Kfman, a profsor emer of psychology at Michigan State Universy and thor of the book "Comg Out of Shame, " said public cisg is practiced maly by eply closeted men. ) But if you are one of the gay/bi men out there, like many of , who don't get that same sh om Grdr that you do om furtive eye glanc the sna -- which turn to so much more -- then this article is for you: the 5 do's and 5 don'ts of gay cisg. Maybe you've seen the recent vio that purports to show "what actually happens when gay guys see other gay guys and straight people aren't around.

THE FOTTEN SECRET LANGUAGE OF GAY MEN

" While I n't nfirm or ny the accuracy of the clip's subject matter (still wag on clearance om the Gay Agenda), I n say that s edy is rooted a rich history of signalg, flaggg, and other forms of non-verbal munitn between gay Pulls a CharlottvilleThe vio fds actors/edians Brian Jordan Alvarez, Stephen Guaro, and Mch Silpa nng to one another their apartment buildg's regnizg one another's gayns, and realizg they're a space utterly void of heterosexualy, the three men lnch to some light nway……'80s face-molg 101……talog at-hangg……and low-key Bernatte-ery……wh a llective "Bnch! " at the unrlyg tensn of the scene stems om the ia that the men are only ee—or perhaps safe—to unleash their purt gay selv the pany of others like them. )The need to navigate one's inty through different social suatns, mixed wh the sire for regnn, has led gay men (and women, obvly, but this article is foced on the male si of this phenomenon) to velop subtle, often wordls methods of munitn wh others the of the systems have been historilly ed to broadst sexual sir, like the hanky , which saw s peak age the 1970s and '80s.

GAY NASHVILLE

In Gay New York, Gee Chncey c red neckti as one of the major "fairy" signifiers of the 1890s, and the 1930s there was "practilly a homosexual monopoly" on dark brown and gray sue sho the 1930s.

I thk a lot of has to do wh the fact that gayns don't e wh hered physil tras or other visible intifiers on the body; we're forced to create our own. The gay male datg app, Grdr, recently add the sexual preference I created beyond jt top, bottom, and vers when to gay men engagg terurse: "si. That’s what happened 2013 when, an article I wrote for the Huffgton Post, “Guys on the Si, ” I created the term “si” for gay men who aren’t to beg a “top” or a “bottom” or practicg anal peratn.

I WENT ON MY FIRST GAY CISE — HERE'S WHAT IT WAS LIKE

The term “Si” was created when 2010, I was talkg wh some lleagu about “tops” (gay men who prefer the sertive role durg peratn) and “bottoms” (gay men who prefer the receptive role durg peratn) and outed myself for beg a gay man who don’t engage anal terurse at all. Beg a “top, ” “bottom, ” or “vers” (short for "versatile, " or someone who uld go eher way) were the only acceptable mols the gay muny, and I felt dissed for not ftg to the mold.

About a year and a half ago I formed a Facebook group lled “Si Guys” and some of the guys the group started a petn to Grdr, the gay datg app, to add “si” to their list of preferred posns and filters.