ASK THE THERAPIST: Gay guilt? You CAN set yourself ee... (Shout Out Health )

Contents:

• I THOUGHT I WAS OVER MY CATHOLIC GUILT ABOUT BEG GAY. MAYBE I WAS WRONG?
• FEELG GUILTY ABOUT "GAY THOUGHTS"
• GUILT ABOUT BEG GAY?
• GAY EX-LEAGUE STAR REVEALS GUILT BURNFORMER NRL STAR IAN ROBERTS HAS SPOKEN NDIDLY ABOUT HIS G OUT AS GAY, MENTAL HEALTH ISSU AND GUILT HE FEELS OVER THE ATH OF A YOUNG IEND.FORMER NRL STAR IAN ROBERTS HAS SPOKEN NDIDLY ABOUT G OUT AS GAY, MENTAL HEALTH AND GUILT. (AAP)RUGBY LEAGUE'S FIRST OPENLY GAY PLAYER HAS REVEALED FEELGS OF TORMENT AND GUILT HE STILL RRI MORE THAN 20 YEARS AFTER G OUT.FORMER TT AND NSW STATE OF ORIG HARDMAN IAN ROBERTS, NOW AN ACTOR, IS UNIVERSALLY REGARD AS A PNEER AND HERO AMONG THE GAY MUNY.BUT, AT 50, HE'S STILL ASHAMED FOR NOT DOG MORE TO SAVE THE LIFE OF A YOUNG IEND, AN HIV RRIER AND PEDOPHILE VICTIM.AS HE PURSU A REER HOLLYWOOD, AFTER ALSO SERVG ON THE NRL JUDICIARY WHILE ILLERATE, ROBERTS STILL HURTS FOR "NOT STEPPG UP" AND HELPG THE POLICE BEFORE A TEENAGE LODGER HIS HOME WAS MURRED THE 1990S.IN THE MONTHS BEFORE THE 15-YEAR-OLD WAS MURRED, POLICE KNOCKED ON ROBERTS' DOOR HOPG THE TEENAGER WOULD PROVI EVINCE AGAST HIS ALLEGED PEDOPHILE ATTACKER.ROBERTS SAYS HIS FIRST SELFISH THOUGHTS AT THE TIME WERE OF HOW THE SE - REVEALG HIS SEXUALY - WOULD "STROY" HIS REER."THIS IS WHAT I LIVE WH NOW," ROBERTS TOLD PETER STERLG AN EMOTNAL TERVIEW ON FOX SPORTS."AND I DON'T ASK FOR ANYONE'S SYMPATHY OR (HAVE) REGRETS BEE I'M TOTALLY FORTABLE WH WHAT HAPPENED NOW. I N TOTALLY GET MY HEAD AROUND ."BUT FOR ME TO GO TO THAT POT AND THK ABOUT MY REER WHEN THAT BOY END UP BEG MURRED, LEFT AD A DCH, KILLS, CSH ME."ROBERTS SAYS HIS G OUT 1994 WHILE STILL PLAYG - WHICH HE SCRIBED AS THE "WORST-KEPT SECRET GBY LEAGUE" - WAS A HUGE RELIEF PERSONALLY AND FOR HIS FAY.BEFOREHAND, HE SAID HIS MOTHER AND FATHER HAD STOPPED GOG TO GAM BEE OF THE ABE THEIR SON PPED OM THE CROWD."MY PARENTS NEVER WANTED ME TO E OUT EHER BUT I THK WAS TO THEIR RELIEF TOO AND THEY UNRSTOOD THEN WHY I HAD TO E OUT," ROBERTS SAID."IT ALMOST GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO BE THERE AND STAND UP FOR ME."THE FORMER ONT-ROWER ADMS THE STGGL ALG WH HIS HOMOSEXUALY THE MACHO WORLD OF THE NRL ALSO PLAYED A ROLE HIS FAMO 1991 BASHG OF TT GREAT GARRY JACK."IT WOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED ME THEN - AND I DON'T SAY THIS WH ANY PRI - IF I'D HAVE KILLED SOMEONE ON THE FIELD," ROBERTS SAID."BUT THERE WAS A LOT GOG ON MY PERSONAL LIFE THEN."I'VE APOLOGISED TO GARRY AND I'VE SPOKEN TO GARRY SCE THAT. HE BORE THE BNT OF MY TRATN."I'M TLY SORRY FOR THAT SUATN. THAT WAS TOTALLY IRRPONSIBLE AND TOTALLY NOT ACCEPTABLE, EVER."ROBERTS, WHO ALSO HAS BRA DAMAGE BELIEVED TO BE A RULT OF HIS 13-YEAR LEAGUE REER, SAID HE SUFFERED SILENCE WH MENTAL HEALTH ISSU."I WASN'T GOOD FOR A LONG TIME. I REGULARLY SEE A THERAPIST NOW," HE SAID."BUT I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD. I MEAN, WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE UNABLE AL OR HANDLE WHAT EVERYONE'S EXPECTG OF YOU - NTUOLY - BE AN CREDIBLE WEIGHT TO MOVE AROUND SOCIETY WH AND TRYG TO KEEP UP THAT HAPPY FACE."A TURNG POT HIS LIFE ME WHEN HE JOED NIDA 2003."I WAS BASILLY ILLERATE UNTIL I WENT TO NIDA," ROBERTS NFSED."I LEARNED TO READ AND WRE WHEN I WAS 37 YEARS OLD THROUGH NIDA, THOUGH PHOICS."IT WAS LIKE I WAS LIVG THE WHOLE WORLD BLACK AND WHE AND THE WHOLE WORLD BEME LOURFUL."WORDS N'T EXPRS HOW THAT CHANGED ME AS A HUMAN BEG."SHARE4 M READPUBLISHED 26 MAY 2016 3:58PMSOURCE: AAPSHARE THIS WH FAY AND IENDSCOPY LKSHAREREMEND FOR YOU
• GRAY AND GAY: CLOSETED PSYCHIATRIST COM OUT AFTER 40 YEARS
• GUILTMEXI CYMENUHOTELS · LUXURYHOTELS · MID-RANGE + BUDGETBARSDANCE CLUBSCISE CLUBSWEDDGSSNASTOURSGAY MAPGUILT
• LIVG AUTHENTILLY THE LGBTQ COMMUNY: HOW TO MOVE PAST “GAY SHAME” [VIO]

I THOUGHT I WAS OVER MY CATHOLIC GUILT ABOUT BEG GAY. MAYBE I WAS WRONG?

This abily to -emphasise inti certa settgs was a mon pg mechanism intified a study of gay Polish men and Catholic guilt.

This is jt one example of trivial, social teractns that, to some gree, may be rmed by the past trma of homophobia, of guilt and shame.

As the late renowned, and gay, nrologist Oliver Sacks remarked: “It is … the geic and nral fate of every human beg to be a unique dividual, to fd his own path, to live his own life, to die his own ath. Go to gaysian. Shame, feel guilt after first gay date.

FEELG GUILTY ABOUT "GAY THOUGHTS"

I'm 24, and I've always known I was gay, but hasn't been until the last year when I've been more open about . I, unfortunately, have a lot of shame wh beg gay, largely due to my upbrgg / culture I was raised . I've started meetg more gay people (as iends) and gog out wh them, don't feel weird about discsg gay topics, etc.

I know I should have been more vol, but this was my first kda of 1-1 wh a gay guy, and I was nervo and sred. Shame bee this was my first time out wh a gay guy, and I gus I'm jt not ed to . I'm tryg to work through my own ternal homophobia I gus, and I thought maybe I was ready for this, but maybe I'm actually not.

You might take some fort knowg that both your same-sex mutual masturbatn experience, and your "gay thoughts" when masturbatg alone, are shared by many. Some younger and olr men feel strongly about publicly intifyg themselv, some way, as gay, straight, or bi, while others are ntent wh livg their happy liv private.

GUILT ABOUT BEG GAY?

Whereas nial is a fensive mechanism, guilt n be fed, acrdg to When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know -thor Jonathan L. I remember thkg when I disvered our son was gay if only I hadn't enuraged him to pursue arts mp stead of basketball mp, he wouldn't have turned out gay.

GAY EX-LEAGUE STAR REVEALS GUILT BURNFORMER NRL STAR IAN ROBERTS HAS SPOKEN NDIDLY ABOUT HIS G OUT AS GAY, MENTAL HEALTH ISSU AND GUILT HE FEELS OVER THE ATH OF A YOUNG IEND.FORMER NRL STAR IAN ROBERTS HAS SPOKEN NDIDLY ABOUT G OUT AS GAY, MENTAL HEALTH AND GUILT. (AAP)RUGBY LEAGUE'S FIRST OPENLY GAY PLAYER HAS REVEALED FEELGS OF TORMENT AND GUILT HE STILL RRI MORE THAN 20 YEARS AFTER G OUT.FORMER TT AND NSW STATE OF ORIG HARDMAN IAN ROBERTS, NOW AN ACTOR, IS UNIVERSALLY REGARD AS A PNEER AND HERO AMONG THE GAY MUNY.BUT, AT 50, HE'S STILL ASHAMED FOR NOT DOG MORE TO SAVE THE LIFE OF A YOUNG IEND, AN HIV RRIER AND PEDOPHILE VICTIM.AS HE PURSU A REER HOLLYWOOD, AFTER ALSO SERVG ON THE NRL JUDICIARY WHILE ILLERATE, ROBERTS STILL HURTS FOR "NOT STEPPG UP" AND HELPG THE POLICE BEFORE A TEENAGE LODGER HIS HOME WAS MURRED THE 1990S.IN THE MONTHS BEFORE THE 15-YEAR-OLD WAS MURRED, POLICE KNOCKED ON ROBERTS' DOOR HOPG THE TEENAGER WOULD PROVI EVINCE AGAST HIS ALLEGED PEDOPHILE ATTACKER.ROBERTS SAYS HIS FIRST SELFISH THOUGHTS AT THE TIME WERE OF HOW THE SE - REVEALG HIS SEXUALY - WOULD "STROY" HIS REER."THIS IS WHAT I LIVE WH NOW," ROBERTS TOLD PETER STERLG AN EMOTNAL TERVIEW ON FOX SPORTS."AND I DON'T ASK FOR ANYONE'S SYMPATHY OR (HAVE) REGRETS BEE I'M TOTALLY FORTABLE WH WHAT HAPPENED NOW. I N TOTALLY GET MY HEAD AROUND ."BUT FOR ME TO GO TO THAT POT AND THK ABOUT MY REER WHEN THAT BOY END UP BEG MURRED, LEFT AD A DCH, KILLS, CSH ME."ROBERTS SAYS HIS G OUT 1994 WHILE STILL PLAYG - WHICH HE SCRIBED AS THE "WORST-KEPT SECRET GBY LEAGUE" - WAS A HUGE RELIEF PERSONALLY AND FOR HIS FAY.BEFOREHAND, HE SAID HIS MOTHER AND FATHER HAD STOPPED GOG TO GAM BEE OF THE ABE THEIR SON PPED OM THE CROWD."MY PARENTS NEVER WANTED ME TO E OUT EHER BUT I THK WAS TO THEIR RELIEF TOO AND THEY UNRSTOOD THEN WHY I HAD TO E OUT," ROBERTS SAID."IT ALMOST GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO BE THERE AND STAND UP FOR ME."THE FORMER ONT-ROWER ADMS THE STGGL ALG WH HIS HOMOSEXUALY THE MACHO WORLD OF THE NRL ALSO PLAYED A ROLE HIS FAMO 1991 BASHG OF TT GREAT GARRY JACK."IT WOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED ME THEN - AND I DON'T SAY THIS WH ANY PRI - IF I'D HAVE KILLED SOMEONE ON THE FIELD," ROBERTS SAID."BUT THERE WAS A LOT GOG ON MY PERSONAL LIFE THEN."I'VE APOLOGISED TO GARRY AND I'VE SPOKEN TO GARRY SCE THAT. HE BORE THE BNT OF MY TRATN."I'M TLY SORRY FOR THAT SUATN. THAT WAS TOTALLY IRRPONSIBLE AND TOTALLY NOT ACCEPTABLE, EVER."ROBERTS, WHO ALSO HAS BRA DAMAGE BELIEVED TO BE A RULT OF HIS 13-YEAR LEAGUE REER, SAID HE SUFFERED SILENCE WH MENTAL HEALTH ISSU."I WASN'T GOOD FOR A LONG TIME. I REGULARLY SEE A THERAPIST NOW," HE SAID."BUT I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD. I MEAN, WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE UNABLE AL OR HANDLE WHAT EVERYONE'S EXPECTG OF YOU - NTUOLY - BE AN CREDIBLE WEIGHT TO MOVE AROUND SOCIETY WH AND TRYG TO KEEP UP THAT HAPPY FACE."A TURNG POT HIS LIFE ME WHEN HE JOED NIDA 2003."I WAS BASILLY ILLERATE UNTIL I WENT TO NIDA," ROBERTS NFSED."I LEARNED TO READ AND WRE WHEN I WAS 37 YEARS OLD THROUGH NIDA, THOUGH PHOICS."IT WAS LIKE I WAS LIVG THE WHOLE WORLD BLACK AND WHE AND THE WHOLE WORLD BEME LOURFUL."WORDS N'T EXPRS HOW THAT CHANGED ME AS A HUMAN BEG."SHARE4 M READPUBLISHED 26 MAY 2016 3:58PMSOURCE: AAPSHARE THIS WH FAY AND IENDSCOPY LKSHAREREMEND FOR YOU

I've created a more difficult life for my child, one which he may be ridiculed, fired om a job, nied hog, jt bee he's gay or transsexual. You n't make someone gay nor n you nvert them permanently to beg straight. Stat are realizg the latter and banng gay-to-straight or nversn therapy that n have dire effects such as low self-teem, prsn, and guilt for same-sex attractn.

Parents who believe that beg gay is a liftyle, will believe that their child n change and that is their flt that their LGBT kids don't "snap to" and alter their ways.

GRAY AND GAY: CLOSETED PSYCHIATRIST COM OUT AFTER 40 YEARS

Many Amerins ( fact, 47% acrdg to a 2014 Gallup poll) believed that homosexual orientatn is prent at birth and therefore not environmentally acquired.

Is there a gay gene after all? "What have I done to produce a gay kid? How n Jerry be gay, she thought, when his tw brother was heterosexual as well as his olr brother?

GUILTMEXI CYMENUHOTELS · LUXURYHOTELS · MID-RANGE + BUDGETBARSDANCE CLUBSCISE CLUBSWEDDGSSNASTOURSGAY MAPGUILT

Koppel, an archect, om Birmgham, Alabama, was terribly disappoted herself when she found out her son, his twenti, was gay. To plate his parents, Andrew has lied and told his parents that he was mistaken about beg gay. So, to rolve this feelg, you need to disver why you associate homosexualy wh somethg that is unsirable.

Or a therapist n help you exame your prenceived notns of what is means to be gay. By examg those feelgs and workg through them, you will see that realy, your child's life is not ferr bee he's gay. I’d like to know if anyone has experienced feelgs of guilt about beg gay.

LIVG AUTHENTILLY THE LGBTQ COMMUNY: HOW TO MOVE PAST “GAY SHAME” [VIO]

I know that we are born a certa way wh certa feelgs that we nnot change, and I am not lookg for a ratnal argument that beg gay is wrong. What I’m askg is if anyone has had pletely irratnal, persistent guilt about beg gay and if so, how are you alg wh ? Homosexualy.

gay. homophobia.

Were you raised a very relig or anti gay home? There’s nothg wrong wh beg gay, but if you grow up around people who disagree, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll ternalize that at some level. She had a zealo Catholic upbrgg and really fought wh herself for a while over whether beg gay was wrong, whether would jt be easier to try to live a hetero life, etc.