‘Young gay people beg out and happy? It’s revolutnary!’ Meet the Heartstopper generatn | Life and style | The Guardian

Contents:

• HOW TO BE HAPPY AS A GAY MAN
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• ARE GAY MEN HAPPIER THAN STRAIGHT MEN?
• GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) AND GAY (HAPPY)
• BEG GAY AND INCREDIBLY HAPPYKEAY NIGEL·FOLLOWPUBLISHED THE MEANG OF LIFE IS TO GIVE LIFE A MEANG.·8 M READ·APR 15, 2015--LISTENSHARE25 AND I’M PERHAPS AT MY HAPPIT. EVER!YOU MAY BE ASKG, WHAT’S THE BIG AL? WELL, I THK MOST PEOPLE DON’T EXPECT A GAY PERSON TO BE HAPPY. OR TO BE LEADG A LIFE THAT HE OR SHE IS SUFFICIENTLY HAPPY OR NFINT OF TO TALK OPENLY ABOUT.TOO MANY A TIME THE NEWS THAT WE HEAR ABOUT THE LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR (LGBT) MUNY OR AN LGBT PERSON TEND TO BE SOMETHG BAD OR NEGATIVE. SUICIS, DISCRIMATN, JTICE, BULLYG, JT TO NAME A FEW. WE SELDOM HEAR SOMETHG GOOD OR POSIVE.IT IS IRONIC THAT THE WORD “GAY” ALSO MEANS CHEERFUL AND REEE, BEE MANY GAY PEOPLE ARE LIVG THE DIRECT OPPOSE.WELL, LET ME START MY STORY HERE:I WAS LTLE WHEN I BEGAN LEARNG THAT BEG EFFEMATE IS NO GOOD FOR A BOY.AT FIRST, PEOPLE HTED AT , MY LACK OF OBSSN WH TOY RS AND MY TERT DRSG UP BARBIE DOLLS. I WAS JT A CHILD AT THAT POT, SO I DIDN’T RE MUCH.BUT THEN PEOPLE STARTED DROPPG TERMS LIKE “SISSY,” “GAY” AND OTHER EQUIVALENTS. AT SOME POT, I REALISED THAT THOSE WORDS WERE ED TO SHAME MY BEHAVUR.BUT AS A KID, YOU DON’T REALLY UNRSTAND MUCH, DO YOU? YOU DON’T/N’T PROCS WHAT’S A PERSONAL ATTACK, WHAT’S A CRICISM, AND WHAT’S A HONT, SCERE ADVICE. AS A KID, WHEN SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHG THAT HURTS YOUR FEELGS, YOU JT FEEL BAD. YOU DON’T EVALUATE WHETHER ’S NSTCTIVE CRICISM OR NOT. SIARLY, WHEN SOMEONE THROWS YOU A PLIMENT, YOU FEEL GOOD AND HAPPY. YOU DON’T DOUBLE GUS OR TRY TO READ BETWEEN THE L TO SEE IF ’S SARSM OR NOT.LIFE SEEMED SIMPLER. BEE YOU WERE SIMPLER.GROWG UP, I THK WE ALL HAD OUR EQUAL SHARE OF GOOD THGS AND BAD THGS THAT HAD BEEN SAID TO . AND THE THGS HAD EHER MA FEEL GOOD OR BAD ABOUT OURSELV. THEY ARE WHAT THAT BUILT TO THE PERSON THAT WE ARE TODAY.FOR ME, A LOT OF THE THGS THAT HAD BEEN SAID TO ME THE PAST HURT ME EPLY. I DON’T BLAME WHOEVER THOUGH — I DIDN’T EXACTLY VOICE OUT WHAT WORDS HAD HURT MY FEELGS.HERE’S ANOTHER THG ABOUT KIDS — THEY DON’T OFTEN VOLISE THEIR NER WORLD METICULO TAILS. THAT DON’T MEAN THEY WILL FET ABOUT ALL THOUGH.IN MY SUBNSC, I KNEW THAT SOMETHG WAS AMISS. WHILE I NTUED DOG MY THG, PLAYG WH BARBIE DOLLS, PLAYG HOE, PLAYG PRETEND AS A MERMAID AND ETC., I STARTED TO FEEL GUILTY. I KNEW THAT I WAS BEHAVG A WAY THAT THE ADULTS EMED AS WRONG. AS APPROPRIATE. AS SHAMEFUL. AS GAY.YOU SEE, WHEN YOU’RE TOLD AGA AND AGA THAT WHAT YOU FD TO BE SO NATURAL AND SO STCTIVE TO BE WRONG AND SHAMEFUL, YOU N’T HELP BUT TO FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF. NOT JT YOUR BEHAVUR, THE THGS YOU DO, BUT ALSO, THE PERSON THAT YOU ARE.HAVE YOU EVER FAILED A TT OR AN EXAM AND FELT REALLY BAD ABOUT ? AND WHEN YOU WENT BACK HOME AND TOLD YOUR PARENTS ABOUT , THEY THEN MA WORSE BY LECTURG YOU?THERE WAS A TIME WHEN MY LIFE WAS A NEVER-ENDG, ALL DAY, 24 HOURS TT OF WHETHER I F TO GENR STEREOTYP.SOME PARENTS MAY ARGUE THAT THEM RMG OR TG THEIR CHILD ABOUT EXISTG GENR STEREOTYP IS ACTUALLY DONE GOOD FAH. IT’S TO HELP THEIR CHILD TO AVOID BULLYG. LIKE TELLG THEIR SON NOT TO TAKE ON THE ROLE OF A PRCS OR A FAIRY WHEN PLAYG PRETEND WOULD TURN HELP HIM AVOID BEG BULLIED OR DISCRIMATED AGAST.“BUT HOW LONG DO YOU TEND TO GO ON WH THIS PROTECTIVE ACT?FOREVER?”SO YOU ARE GOG TO TEACH YOUR SON OR DGHTER THAT ORR TO AVOID BEG HATED OR DISLIKED, HE OR SHE SHOULD PURSUE THE ABSOLUTE NFORMATN TO SOCIAL AND GENR STEREOTYP?AND FOR WHAT? TO BE HAPPY? TO BE ACCEPTABLE TO OTHER PEOPLE AND TURN FEEL A SENSE OF JOY ABOUT ?THAT I TELL YOU N BE ONE OF THE SADST WAYS TO LIVE: TO BASE YOUR HAPPS ON OTHERS’ OPN OF YOU, AND NOT YOUR OWN OPN OF YOURSELF.I N STILL REMEMBER A PARTICULAR CINT OM MY CHILDHOOD WHERE I WAS TOLD BY MY MOM TO STOP “WALKG LIKE A GIRL.” SHE ADD THAT ’S SHAMEFUL FOR ME TO ACT THAT WAY AND I WOULD BE LGHED AT BY OTHER PEOPLE IF I NTUED SO. I WAS OF URSE GREATLY UPSET BY THE MENT. AND GREATLY EMBARRASSED.THAT WAS ALSO ONE OF THOSE FEW MOMENTS WHERE I LEARNED SOMETHG ABOUT SOCIAL RELATNS, THAT I NEED TO ACT A CERTA WAY SO THAT I WOULD BE ACCEPTED BY OTHER PEOPLE. THAT I SHOULDN’T ACT WAYS THAT MIGHT MAKE PEOPLE REJECT ME…BUT WH THAT, I HAD ALSO STARTED TO REJECT MYSELF, SLOWLY, B BY B.I WOULD TRY TO “RRECT” MYSELF. I LEARNED TO BE HYPERCRIL OF MYSELF, TO NICK-PICK. I WOULD TRY TO INTIFY PARTS OF MYSELF THAT PEOPLE MIGHT POSSIBLY DISLIKE, EVEN BEFORE I WAS EVER TOLD THAT THEY WERE DISLIKED.THROUGH THIS PROCS, I LEARNED MUCH ABOUT TROSPECTN ED. BUT I HAD ALSO E TO BELIEVE THAT MY NATURAL SELF ULDN’T BE TSTED. IT’S GOG TO BETRAY ME ONE DAY.SO I GOT TO FIGHT . I HAD GOT TO… NOT BE MYSELF.I SPECT AT SOME POT OF MY TEENAGE-HOOD, I HAD LOST TRACK OF WHETHER SUPPRSG MY TE SELF WAS ALL DONE FOR MY OWN BENEF, OR FOR THE BENEFS OF OTHERS.I HAD STOPPED LIVG TO MAKE MYSELF HAPPY, BUT TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY.I WAS NEVER TGHT TO STAND UP TO BULLI. WELL, I NEVER TOLD MY PARENTS OR PLAED TO ANYONE THAT I WAS BULLIED SCHOOL. SO I ME UP WH MY OWN SOLUTN: I STAYED SILENT.IN FACT, I WAS ALWAYS FEAR OF SOMEONE DROPPG A HURTFUL MENT. JT SO YOU KNOW, ’S ALWAYS THE MOST NOCENT MENT DROPPED THAT HURT THE MOST — THE ARROW THAT WAS SHOT BEFORE MY FENSIVE GEAR WAS UP.I WOULD TRY TO PUT UP A BRAVE ONT, BUT ON SI I WAS CMBLG FEAR AND SHAME. AND I WOULD THEN TURN MY BACK AGAST MY OWN SELF. I WOULD PUT ON MY OWN SET OF TATED LENS, WHICH I HAD REFED B BY B THROUGH THE YEARS, AND BEE MY OWN JUDGE.I HAD THOUGHT THAT I NEED TO CHANGE THE WAY THAT I WAS SO AS TO AVOID THE HURT. THERE WAS NOTHG I ULD DO ABOUT THE BULLI; ALL I HAD TO WORK ON WAS MYSELF. AND SO I TRIED TO MAKE MYSELF SMALLER, TO STAND OUT LS. TO BE MORE… VISIBLE.IN THE END, I BEME MY OWN WORST CRIQUE.IT WAS LIKE HAVG ANOTHER VOICE MY HEAD WHICH I WAS SUPPOSED TO FEAR AND ABI TO. IT WAS MY OTHER SELF WHOM I HAD BELIEVED TO BE THE “MORE RIGHT” VERSN OF MYSELF. THE VERSN WHO WOULD BE DOG ALL THE RIGHT THGS, MAKG EVERYONE LIKE HIM. HE WHOM MY PARENTS AND RELATIV WOULD BE EXCEEDGLY PROUD OF.HE WAS THE ONE I TSTED THE MOST. AND I KNEW THAT HE’S NSTANTLY TRYG TO IMPROVE HIMSELF AT THE SAME TIME TO BE EVEN MORE SHREWD DIFFERENT SOCIAL SETTGS, AND MORE SENSIVE AND TELLIGENT PICKG UP SOCIAL CU, SO AS TO HELP ME AVOID SUATNS THAT MIGHT E ME TO EMBARRASS MYSELF.FOR YEARS I HAD LIVED LIKE THAT. AND EVEN NOW, I STILL HAVE HIM MY HEAD — THAT PART OF ME. THE ONE WHOM I THOUGHT WOULD KNOW BETTER.BUT NO.THE TTH IS, HE DON’T KNOW BETTER.HE DO NOT KNOW ANYTHG ABOUT LIVG A HONT, OPEN LIFE.HE KNOWS NOTHG ABOUT FREEDOM, OR ABOUT LIVG A LIFE WHICH IS WHOUT SHAME OR FEAR.HE IS FACT A WARD WHO N’T LIVE WHOUT PEOPLE’S APPROVAL OF HIM. THEIR S, THEIR PRAIS AND THEIR ACCEPTANCE.HE IS A PEOPLE PLEASER WHO THRIV ON OTHERS’ ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF HIM BEE HE NEVER HAD THE PACY TO LOVE HIMSELF REGARDLS.HE NEVER HAD THE URAGE TO BE WHO HE REALLY IS. BEE HE WAS NOT TGHT TO BE BRAVE. HE WAS TOLD TO FEAR NSTANTLY AND BE WARY ALWAYS.AND HE WAS ME, AND I WAS HIM.I WAS MY WORST ENEMY.I HAVE E A LONG WAY. A LONG, LONG WAY TO WHO I AM TODAY.I WAS LIVG THE FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT MO FOR AS LONG AS I N REMEMBER. IF I WASN’T FIGHTG OTHERS, I WAS FIGHTG MYSELF.BUT NOW, I AM NO LONGER AAID OF BEG LLED OUT FOR BEG GAY. YOU N PASS A JOKE ABOUT ME AND MY “GAYNS,” I DON’T RE. OR RATHER, I AM GLAD THAT YOU BOTHER TALKG ABOUT ME. BEE THAT MOMENT, I WOULD HAVE MEANT SOMETHG TO YOU. AND YOU? YOU WOULD MEAN NOTHG MORE THAN THE OLD VERSN OF ME WHOM I’VE BUT GROWN OUT OF.THE FIGHT IS OVER.TWO S WORTH OF .LIFE SUCKS SOMETIM. AND WILL BE A WHOLE LOT WORSE IF YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THE WRONGS THAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY YOU HAVE.
• GAY
• HAPPY GAY PRI MONTH MSAG, LGBT QUOT AND WISH
• WHO ARE THE HAPPIT? STRAIGHTS AND GAYS, BUT NOT BISEXUALS
• 5 (RATHER BLUNT) REASONS WHY GAY MEN STGGLE TO FD HAPPS
• MEANG OF GAY ENGLISH
• SYNONYMS FOR GAY
• 10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED
• ‘YOUNG GAY PEOPLE BEG OUT AND HAPPY? IT’S REVOLUTNARY!’ MEET THE HEARTSTOPPER GENERATN

HOW TO BE HAPPY AS A GAY MAN

The uprisg beme a talyst for an emergg gay rights movement as anizatns such as the Gay Liberatn Front and the Gay Activists Alliance were formed, moled after the civil rights movement and the women’s rights movement. In 1978, artist and signer Gilbert Baker was missned by San Francis cy supervisor Harvey Milk – one of the first openly gay elected officials the US – to make a flag for the cy’s upg Pri celebratns. Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight.

Beg gay do not necsarily make you any ls mascule or feme, and there is no need or prsure to nform to stereotyp that don't feel right to you - bee you are who you are. The laws the Bible were maly for health purpos - shunng homosexualy is right next to not gettg tattoos, not eatg pork, and not wearg mixed lens, but you n bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those thgs. Article SummaryXIf you stggle wh acceptg your attractn to the same sex, know that beg gay is pletely normal and you n be proud of who you are by fdg support and embracg your dividualy.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

If you Google “happy gay, ” you get a weird bo of rults on the fns of “happy” and “gay, ” and how they pare, along wh travel s and stock photos of “men + gay + happy”. Even though data suggts gay upl may be closg the sexual orientatn and genr inty pay gap (more rearch is need), siar studi show that 58% of gay men strs about money each week. Intifyg and unrstandg the five buildg blocks for a happy gay life is somethg we have a lot of passn around (’s our ikigai), and ’s somethg on which we’ve spent a lot of time perfectg.

ARE GAY MEN HAPPIER THAN STRAIGHT MEN?

If you want to learn more about all five buildg blocks and how they work together to build a holistic and thentic happy gay life, get our ee gui, 5 Buildg Blocks of a Happy Gay Life, here.

Alas, none of this good news for gays and spankg fetishists is really backed up by the data the origal study, which, while trigug, is hardly evince that is beg out and gay that mak men happier (let alone women). While gay men the study seemed to experience ls strs and prsn than straight men, there are a variety of alternative explanatns that might expla this fact (like whether they worked out or not; whether they had children or not; e level and stabily).

GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) AND GAY (HAPPY)

It seems like more than jt bad reportg to tell gay men and women that happs is up to them, not the world at large, and happs will rive om disclosure when that very disclosure n be dangero. Until then homosexual actors, micians, athlet or anyone the public eye had two choic life: to keep their homosexualy a secret, pecially om the media, or adopt the mannerisms and a of drs which were very mp but at the same time (ironilly) never admtg their sexual preferenc publicly.

Tom Robson released a very succsful song entled (Sg if you're) Glad to be Gay, was the mid-70s, and I was still at a Catholic primary school when I remember que distctly hearg gay beg ed for the first time to unteract the BrEng rogatory terms such as: poofter, poof, queer, not normal, fairy and queen that were rife at the time.

In the send verse, pots to the hypocrisy of Gay News beg prosecuted for obsceny stead of porn magaz like magaz Playboy or the tabloid The Sun which publish photographs of topls girls on Page 3.

BEG GAY AND INCREDIBLY HAPPYKEAY NIGEL·FOLLOWPUBLISHED THE MEANG OF LIFE IS TO GIVE LIFE A MEANG.·8 M READ·APR 15, 2015--LISTENSHARE25 AND I’M PERHAPS AT MY HAPPIT. EVER!YOU MAY BE ASKG, WHAT’S THE BIG AL? WELL, I THK MOST PEOPLE DON’T EXPECT A GAY PERSON TO BE HAPPY. OR TO BE LEADG A LIFE THAT HE OR SHE IS SUFFICIENTLY HAPPY OR NFINT OF TO TALK OPENLY ABOUT.TOO MANY A TIME THE NEWS THAT WE HEAR ABOUT THE LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR (LGBT) MUNY OR AN LGBT PERSON TEND TO BE SOMETHG BAD OR NEGATIVE. SUICIS, DISCRIMATN, JTICE, BULLYG, JT TO NAME A FEW. WE SELDOM HEAR SOMETHG GOOD OR POSIVE.IT IS IRONIC THAT THE WORD “GAY” ALSO MEANS CHEERFUL AND REEE, BEE MANY GAY PEOPLE ARE LIVG THE DIRECT OPPOSE.WELL, LET ME START MY STORY HERE:I WAS LTLE WHEN I BEGAN LEARNG THAT BEG EFFEMATE IS NO GOOD FOR A BOY.AT FIRST, PEOPLE HTED AT , MY LACK OF OBSSN WH TOY RS AND MY TERT DRSG UP BARBIE DOLLS. I WAS JT A CHILD AT THAT POT, SO I DIDN’T RE MUCH.BUT THEN PEOPLE STARTED DROPPG TERMS LIKE “SISSY,” “GAY” AND OTHER EQUIVALENTS. AT SOME POT, I REALISED THAT THOSE WORDS WERE ED TO SHAME MY BEHAVUR.BUT AS A KID, YOU DON’T REALLY UNRSTAND MUCH, DO YOU? YOU DON’T/N’T PROCS WHAT’S A PERSONAL ATTACK, WHAT’S A CRICISM, AND WHAT’S A HONT, SCERE ADVICE. AS A KID, WHEN SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHG THAT HURTS YOUR FEELGS, YOU JT FEEL BAD. YOU DON’T EVALUATE WHETHER ’S NSTCTIVE CRICISM OR NOT. SIARLY, WHEN SOMEONE THROWS YOU A PLIMENT, YOU FEEL GOOD AND HAPPY. YOU DON’T DOUBLE GUS OR TRY TO READ BETWEEN THE L TO SEE IF ’S SARSM OR NOT.LIFE SEEMED SIMPLER. BEE YOU WERE SIMPLER.GROWG UP, I THK WE ALL HAD OUR EQUAL SHARE OF GOOD THGS AND BAD THGS THAT HAD BEEN SAID TO . AND THE THGS HAD EHER MA FEEL GOOD OR BAD ABOUT OURSELV. THEY ARE WHAT THAT BUILT TO THE PERSON THAT WE ARE TODAY.FOR ME, A LOT OF THE THGS THAT HAD BEEN SAID TO ME THE PAST HURT ME EPLY. I DON’T BLAME WHOEVER THOUGH — I DIDN’T EXACTLY VOICE OUT WHAT WORDS HAD HURT MY FEELGS.HERE’S ANOTHER THG ABOUT KIDS — THEY DON’T OFTEN VOLISE THEIR NER WORLD METICULO TAILS. THAT DON’T MEAN THEY WILL FET ABOUT ALL THOUGH.IN MY SUBNSC, I KNEW THAT SOMETHG WAS AMISS. WHILE I NTUED DOG MY THG, PLAYG WH BARBIE DOLLS, PLAYG HOE, PLAYG PRETEND AS A MERMAID AND ETC., I STARTED TO FEEL GUILTY. I KNEW THAT I WAS BEHAVG A WAY THAT THE ADULTS EMED AS WRONG. AS APPROPRIATE. AS SHAMEFUL. AS GAY.YOU SEE, WHEN YOU’RE TOLD AGA AND AGA THAT WHAT YOU FD TO BE SO NATURAL AND SO STCTIVE TO BE WRONG AND SHAMEFUL, YOU N’T HELP BUT TO FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF. NOT JT YOUR BEHAVUR, THE THGS YOU DO, BUT ALSO, THE PERSON THAT YOU ARE.HAVE YOU EVER FAILED A TT OR AN EXAM AND FELT REALLY BAD ABOUT ? AND WHEN YOU WENT BACK HOME AND TOLD YOUR PARENTS ABOUT , THEY THEN MA WORSE BY LECTURG YOU?THERE WAS A TIME WHEN MY LIFE WAS A NEVER-ENDG, ALL DAY, 24 HOURS TT OF WHETHER I F TO GENR STEREOTYP.SOME PARENTS MAY ARGUE THAT THEM RMG OR TG THEIR CHILD ABOUT EXISTG GENR STEREOTYP IS ACTUALLY DONE GOOD FAH. IT’S TO HELP THEIR CHILD TO AVOID BULLYG. LIKE TELLG THEIR SON NOT TO TAKE ON THE ROLE OF A PRCS OR A FAIRY WHEN PLAYG PRETEND WOULD TURN HELP HIM AVOID BEG BULLIED OR DISCRIMATED AGAST.“BUT HOW LONG DO YOU TEND TO GO ON WH THIS PROTECTIVE ACT?FOREVER?”SO YOU ARE GOG TO TEACH YOUR SON OR DGHTER THAT ORR TO AVOID BEG HATED OR DISLIKED, HE OR SHE SHOULD PURSUE THE ABSOLUTE NFORMATN TO SOCIAL AND GENR STEREOTYP?AND FOR WHAT? TO BE HAPPY? TO BE ACCEPTABLE TO OTHER PEOPLE AND TURN FEEL A SENSE OF JOY ABOUT ?THAT I TELL YOU N BE ONE OF THE SADST WAYS TO LIVE: TO BASE YOUR HAPPS ON OTHERS’ OPN OF YOU, AND NOT YOUR OWN OPN OF YOURSELF.I N STILL REMEMBER A PARTICULAR CINT OM MY CHILDHOOD WHERE I WAS TOLD BY MY MOM TO STOP “WALKG LIKE A GIRL.” SHE ADD THAT ’S SHAMEFUL FOR ME TO ACT THAT WAY AND I WOULD BE LGHED AT BY OTHER PEOPLE IF I NTUED SO. I WAS OF URSE GREATLY UPSET BY THE MENT. AND GREATLY EMBARRASSED.THAT WAS ALSO ONE OF THOSE FEW MOMENTS WHERE I LEARNED SOMETHG ABOUT SOCIAL RELATNS, THAT I NEED TO ACT A CERTA WAY SO THAT I WOULD BE ACCEPTED BY OTHER PEOPLE. THAT I SHOULDN’T ACT WAYS THAT MIGHT MAKE PEOPLE REJECT ME…BUT WH THAT, I HAD ALSO STARTED TO REJECT MYSELF, SLOWLY, B BY B.I WOULD TRY TO “RRECT” MYSELF. I LEARNED TO BE HYPERCRIL OF MYSELF, TO NICK-PICK. I WOULD TRY TO INTIFY PARTS OF MYSELF THAT PEOPLE MIGHT POSSIBLY DISLIKE, EVEN BEFORE I WAS EVER TOLD THAT THEY WERE DISLIKED.THROUGH THIS PROCS, I LEARNED MUCH ABOUT TROSPECTN ED. BUT I HAD ALSO E TO BELIEVE THAT MY NATURAL SELF ULDN’T BE TSTED. IT’S GOG TO BETRAY ME ONE DAY.SO I GOT TO FIGHT . I HAD GOT TO… NOT BE MYSELF.I SPECT AT SOME POT OF MY TEENAGE-HOOD, I HAD LOST TRACK OF WHETHER SUPPRSG MY TE SELF WAS ALL DONE FOR MY OWN BENEF, OR FOR THE BENEFS OF OTHERS.I HAD STOPPED LIVG TO MAKE MYSELF HAPPY, BUT TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY.I WAS NEVER TGHT TO STAND UP TO BULLI. WELL, I NEVER TOLD MY PARENTS OR PLAED TO ANYONE THAT I WAS BULLIED SCHOOL. SO I ME UP WH MY OWN SOLUTN: I STAYED SILENT.IN FACT, I WAS ALWAYS FEAR OF SOMEONE DROPPG A HURTFUL MENT. JT SO YOU KNOW, ’S ALWAYS THE MOST NOCENT MENT DROPPED THAT HURT THE MOST — THE ARROW THAT WAS SHOT BEFORE MY FENSIVE GEAR WAS UP.I WOULD TRY TO PUT UP A BRAVE ONT, BUT ON SI I WAS CMBLG FEAR AND SHAME. AND I WOULD THEN TURN MY BACK AGAST MY OWN SELF. I WOULD PUT ON MY OWN SET OF TATED LENS, WHICH I HAD REFED B BY B THROUGH THE YEARS, AND BEE MY OWN JUDGE.I HAD THOUGHT THAT I NEED TO CHANGE THE WAY THAT I WAS SO AS TO AVOID THE HURT. THERE WAS NOTHG I ULD DO ABOUT THE BULLI; ALL I HAD TO WORK ON WAS MYSELF. AND SO I TRIED TO MAKE MYSELF SMALLER, TO STAND OUT LS. TO BE MORE… VISIBLE.IN THE END, I BEME MY OWN WORST CRIQUE.IT WAS LIKE HAVG ANOTHER VOICE MY HEAD WHICH I WAS SUPPOSED TO FEAR AND ABI TO. IT WAS MY OTHER SELF WHOM I HAD BELIEVED TO BE THE “MORE RIGHT” VERSN OF MYSELF. THE VERSN WHO WOULD BE DOG ALL THE RIGHT THGS, MAKG EVERYONE LIKE HIM. HE WHOM MY PARENTS AND RELATIV WOULD BE EXCEEDGLY PROUD OF.HE WAS THE ONE I TSTED THE MOST. AND I KNEW THAT HE’S NSTANTLY TRYG TO IMPROVE HIMSELF AT THE SAME TIME TO BE EVEN MORE SHREWD DIFFERENT SOCIAL SETTGS, AND MORE SENSIVE AND TELLIGENT PICKG UP SOCIAL CU, SO AS TO HELP ME AVOID SUATNS THAT MIGHT E ME TO EMBARRASS MYSELF.FOR YEARS I HAD LIVED LIKE THAT. AND EVEN NOW, I STILL HAVE HIM MY HEAD — THAT PART OF ME. THE ONE WHOM I THOUGHT WOULD KNOW BETTER.BUT NO.THE TTH IS, HE DON’T KNOW BETTER.HE DO NOT KNOW ANYTHG ABOUT LIVG A HONT, OPEN LIFE.HE KNOWS NOTHG ABOUT FREEDOM, OR ABOUT LIVG A LIFE WHICH IS WHOUT SHAME OR FEAR.HE IS FACT A WARD WHO N’T LIVE WHOUT PEOPLE’S APPROVAL OF HIM. THEIR S, THEIR PRAIS AND THEIR ACCEPTANCE.HE IS A PEOPLE PLEASER WHO THRIV ON OTHERS’ ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF HIM BEE HE NEVER HAD THE PACY TO LOVE HIMSELF REGARDLS.HE NEVER HAD THE URAGE TO BE WHO HE REALLY IS. BEE HE WAS NOT TGHT TO BE BRAVE. HE WAS TOLD TO FEAR NSTANTLY AND BE WARY ALWAYS.AND HE WAS ME, AND I WAS HIM.I WAS MY WORST ENEMY.I HAVE E A LONG WAY. A LONG, LONG WAY TO WHO I AM TODAY.I WAS LIVG THE FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT MO FOR AS LONG AS I N REMEMBER. IF I WASN’T FIGHTG OTHERS, I WAS FIGHTG MYSELF.BUT NOW, I AM NO LONGER AAID OF BEG LLED OUT FOR BEG GAY. YOU N PASS A JOKE ABOUT ME AND MY “GAYNS,” I DON’T RE. OR RATHER, I AM GLAD THAT YOU BOTHER TALKG ABOUT ME. BEE THAT MOMENT, I WOULD HAVE MEANT SOMETHG TO YOU. AND YOU? YOU WOULD MEAN NOTHG MORE THAN THE OLD VERSN OF ME WHOM I’VE BUT GROWN OUT OF.THE FIGHT IS OVER.TWO S WORTH OF .LIFE SUCKS SOMETIM. AND WILL BE A WHOLE LOT WORSE IF YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THE WRONGS THAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY YOU HAVE.

For me, a young child livg London at the time, the term gay (meang homosexual and not "happy") was ed much more equently by the media and the general public after the release of "Glad to be Gay". Or to be leadg a life that he or she is sufficiently happy or nfint of to talk openly many a time the news that we hear about the Lbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgenr (LGBT) muny or an LGBT person tend to be somethg bad or negative.

We seldom hear somethg good or is ironic that the word “gay” also means cheerful and reee, bee many gay people are livg the direct, let me start my story here:I was ltle when I began learng that beg effemate is no good for a first, people hted at , my lack of obssn wh toy rs and my tert drsg up Barbie dolls.

That same year, Pieters beme a natnal spokperson for AIDS awarens and gay polil activism after his historic terview wh televangelist Tammy Faye on her broadst, which fied the work's homophobic tennci. Jenna Lyons, the first openly gay hoewife, and Jsel Taank, the first Indian hoewife, jo the diverse st tend to better reprent all of the different kds of New Yorkers. Bt funny pri slogans and Pri Month msag 2023 that are highly motivatg and also salute the spir of gays to never give up for their rights and to keep fightg like hero.

GAY

Counter to mon sense, over a third of those wh lifelong same-sex partners and nearly half of those wh lifelong both-sex partners intified not as gay or bisexual but as straight. Bee the vast majory of dividuals who intify as bisexual are women (equently the 60% to 80% range), any study that b gays/lbians wh bisexuals and fds negative mental or physil health problems likely distorts our unrstandg of sexual mori and th tells ltle about male bisexuals, gay mal, and lbians. It's time to "man up" and get to the real reasons gay men have so many problems fdg love and Tth: We're Our Own Worst Enemi Far too many gay men script our liv to the envy of Sex and the Cy wrers.

HAPPY GAY PRI MONTH MSAG, LGBT QUOT AND WISH

However, for gay men, the greener pasture often seems (seems beg the operative word) to have a 6-pack vers a 5-pack, and a bank acunt that's not nsistently problem that aris wh the "somethg better will e along" mentaly is you sudnly wake up one day realizg you're still wag for the green grass to grow.

You will be what matters, and the amount of self-love and self-nfince will be 's a few more reasons why the problem wh gay men is themselv:We don't love ourselv enough to know how to love someone else, and then we bch bee we n't fd foc is outward-driven stead of are the total sum of the five gay men we spend most of our time wh. Tuday is the begng of Pri Month, which is celebrated annually June to celebrate lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer (LGBTQ) people and to honor the Stonewall June 1969, the Stonewall Inn New York Cy was raid by police, but LGBTQ people fought back, sparkg an uprisg and three nights of unrt. Ever sce born-aga sger and orange juice pchwoman Ana Bryant helped kick off the ntemporary anti-gay movement some 40 years ago, hard-le elements of the relig right have been searchg for ways to monize gay people — or, at a mimum, to fd arguments that will prevent their normalizatn society.

But addn to hawkg that myth, the legns of anti-gay activists who followed have add a panoply of others, rangg om the extremely doubtful claim that sexual orientatn is a choice, to unalloyed li like the claims that gay men molt children far more than heterosexuals or that hate crime laws will lead to the legalizatn of btialy and necrophilia. The fairy tal are important to the anti-gay right bee they form the basis of s claim that homosexualy is a social evil that mt be supprsed — an opn rejected by virtually all relevant medil and scientific thori.

WHO ARE THE HAPPIT? STRAIGHTS AND GAYS, BUT NOT BISEXUALS

Depictg gay men as a threat to children may be the sgle most potent weapon for stokg public fears about homosexualy — and for wng electns and referenda, as Ana Bryant found out durg her succsful 1977 mpaign to overturn a Da County, Fla., ordance barrg discrimatn agast gay people. Others have ced a group lled the Amerin College of Pediatricians (ACPeds) to claim, as Tony Perks of the Fay Rearch Council did November 2010, that "the rearch is overwhelmg that homosexualy pos a [moltatn] danger to children.

Gregory Herek, a profsor at the Universy of California, Davis, who is one of the natn's leadg rearchers on prejudice agast sexual mori, reviewed a seri of studi and found no evince that gay men molt children at higher rat than heterosexual men. The fixated child molter — the stereotypil pedophile — nnot be nsired homosexual or heterosexual bee "he often fds adults of eher sex repulsive" and often molts children of both sex.

5 (RATHER BLUNT) REASONS WHY GAY MEN STGGLE TO FD HAPPS

Most hard-le anti-gay anizatns are heavily vted, om both a relig and a polil standpot, promotg the tradnal nuclear fay as the sole amework for the healthy upbrgg of children. The Amerin Amy of Child & Adolcent Psychiatry affirmed 2013 that “[c]urrent rearch shows that children wh gay and lbian parents do not differ om children wh heterosexual parents their emotnal velopment or their relatnships wh peers and adults” and they are “not more likely than children of heterosexual parents to velop emotnal or behavral problems. The Amerin Amy of Pediatrics (AAP) a 2002 policy statement clared: "A growg body of scientific lerature monstrat that children who grow up wh one or two gay and/or lbian parents fare as well emotnal, gnive, social, and sexual functng as do children whose parents are heterosexual.

MEANG OF GAY ENGLISH

” The next year, 2005, the APA published a summary of rearch fdgs on lbian and gay parents and reerated that mon negative stereotyp about LGBT parentg are not supported by the data. Siarly, the Child Welfare League of Ameri's official posn wh regard to same-sex parents is that "lbian, gay, and bisexual parents are as well-sued to raise children as their heterosexual unterparts.

A 2013 prelimary study Atralia found that the children of lbian and gay parents are not only thrivg, but may actually have better overall health and higher rat of fay hn than heterosexual fai. Joseph Nilosi, a founr of the Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy, said 2009 that "if you trmatize a child a particular way, you will create a homosexual ndn.

A si effect of this argument is the monizatn of parents of gay men and lbians, who are led to wonr if they failed to protect a child agast sexual abe or failed as role mols some important way. ” Schumm, who has also argued that lbian relatnships are unstable, has ti to discreded psychologist and anti-LGBT fabulist Pl Cameron, the thor of numero pletely basels “studi” about the alleged evils of homosexualy.

SYNONYMS FOR GAY

The Amerin Psychiatric Associatn noted a 2000 fact sheet available on the Associatn of Gay and Lbian Psychiatrists, that alg wh gay, lbian and bisexual issu, that sexual abe do not appear to be any more prevalent among children who grow up and intify as gay, lbian or bisexual than children who grow up and intify as heterosexual. Siarly, the Natnal Organizatn on Male Sexual Victimizatn not on s webse that "experts the human sexualy field do not believe that premature sexual experienc play a signifint role late adolcent or adult sexual orientatn" and add that 's unlikely that anyone n make another person gay or heterosexual.

Warren Throckmorton, a psychologist at the Christian Grove Cy College, noted an analysis that “the rearch on sexual abe among GLBT populatns is often mised to make ferenc about atn [of homosexualy]. Anti-LGBT anizatns, seekg to promote heterosexualy as the healthier "choice, " often offer up the purportedly shorter life spans and poorer physil and mental health of gays and lbians as reasons why they shouldn't be allowed to adopt or foster children.

This falsehood n be traced directly to the discreded rearch of Pl Cameron and his Fay Rearch Instute, specifilly a 1994 paper he -wrote entled "The Lifpan of Homosexuals. " Usg obuari llected om newspapers servg the gay muny, he and his two -thors nclud that gay men died, on average, at 43, pared to an average life expectancy at the time of around 73 for all U. On the basis of the same obuari, Cameron also claimed that gay men are 18 tim more likely to die r accints than heterosexuals, 22 tim more likely to die of heart attacks than wh, and 11 tim more likely than blacks to die of the same e.

10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED

Anti-LGBT anizatns have also tried to support this claim by distortg the work of legimate scholars, like a 1997 study nducted by a Canadian team of rearchers that alt wh gay and bisexual men livg Vanuver the late 1980s and early 1990s. Lively is the vilently anti-gay founr of Abidg Tth Mistri and Abrams is an anizer of a group lled the Internatnal Commtee for Holot Tth, which me together 1994 and clud Lively as a member.

‘YOUNG GAY PEOPLE BEG OUT AND HAPPY? IT’S REVOLUTNARY!’ MEET THE HEARTSTOPPER GENERATN

The claims have been picked up by a number of anti-gay groups and dividuals, cludg Bryan Fischer of the Amerin Fay Associatn, as proof that gay men and lbians are vlent and sick. Christe Mueller, profsor of history at Reed College, did a 1994 le-by-le refutatn of an earlier Abrams article on the topic and of the broar claim that the Nazi Party was "entirely ntrolled" by gay men.

Anti-gay activists, who have long opposed addg LGBT people to those protected by hate crime legislatn, have repeatedly claimed that such laws would lead to the jailg of relig figur who preach agast homosexualy — part of a bid to ga the backg of the broar relig muny for their posn. The First Amendment provis robt protectns of ee speech, and se law mak clear that even a preacher who publicly suggted that gays and lbians should be killed would be protected.