Invtigatg the sid rise of the gay cel | Dazed

Contents:

• INVTIGATG THE SID RISE OF THE GAY CEL
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

INVTIGATG THE SID RISE OF THE GAY CEL

Invtigatg the sid rise of the gay cel | Dazed⬅️ Left Arrow*️⃣ Asterisk␠StarOptn Slirs✉️ MailExWe speak to those who self-intify as gaycels about datg apps, gay stereotyp, and body shamg.

They expect gays to date anyone who looks our way, yet they’re allowed to be picky!

” – an anonymo ‘gaycel’. But very ltle has been wrten about the ty proportn of gay men among them, and ’s worth askg: who are they?

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

He feels prsed, disnnected om the gay muny, and ostracised by his fellow cels, who rpond to his nihilistic posts wh the argument that ‘gaycels’ are always ‘volcels’ (voluntarily celibate), a ratnale which stems om the unte stereotype that gay guys n always get laid. It’s why gay culture has a rich history of ttagg and cisg – men were forced to fuck vertly for fear of prosecutn, so they end up dog so ways that straight people emed ‘seedy’. Lotn-based hook-up apps were ially created for gay men – Grdr was the first, lnched back 2009 – who were arguably ls obliged to follow cultural norms – aga, bee marriage and adoptn were off the table for centuri.

It’s easier for gay men to assiate to heteronormativy (or homonormativy), and the pendulum has swung the other way, too: now, the lotn-based formula of hook-up apps is mon on straight datg platforms. Gay sex is still amed as more available than straight sex, but that’s arguably ls te than ever – and even then, ’s obvly not available to all gay men.

Anyone wh a Grdr profile n attt that ’s full of shamg and discrimatn, and that gay bety standards are arguably even higher than the hyper-chiseled, Insta-male mol norm. In other words, beg gay don’t guarantee you a fuck. Redd er xeverxsleepx, who also self-intifi as a gay cel, nfirms this.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

In xeverxsleepx’s experience, most other cels he has spoken to onle were straight, “anti-gay”, and likely to downvote gay ers.

Another anonymo poster often was to the threads to offer solace bee he n empathise – he ed to intify as a gay cel too. Incints like the prove that there’s more to beg a gay cel than a lack of sex. But now, ‘cel’ is cultural shorthand for a muny bound largely by rage and misogyny – and, cintally, the same is often (although not always) te of ‘gay cels’, who generally glorify masculy and vilify femy the same way as their straight unterparts.

This pattern was intified by Redd er zanmato1109, who also happens to be a PhD ndidate, and summarised a mi-say: The New Internalised Homophobia, or, Revenge of the Gay Incels. “Repeated rejectn leads some young men to nct an unflatterg, two-dimensnal riture of the group that spurned them, whether ’s women or gays” – @zanmato1109. Although he says he wouldn’t e the term ‘cel’ had he wrten aga today, the sightful post drew key parallels between the gay and straight men reamg their personal issu through the lens of a broar worldview.

He tells me he noticed this happened often the ‘gaybros’ muny, which “started off wh an ternalised homophobia vibe” – “the posts plag about the state of the gay muny were wrten by guys who didn’t do well the bar scene, and whose dat never turned to anythg”. “It was dishearteng to read what were sentially homophobic, right-wg talkg pots repurposed as handful of disaffected gays’ wronghead pg mechanisms. In the same way that cel foms have bee hotbeds of far-right iology and misogyny, the gay cels often share siarly right-wg views and a hatred towards the potential partners rejectg them.

“In both s, repeated rejectn leads some young men to nct an unflatterg, two-dimensnal riture of the group that spurned them, whether ’s women or gays. The majory of gay and bisexual men have and mata good mental health, even though rearch has shown that they are at greater risk for mental health problems. Like everyone else, the majory of gay and bisexual men are able to pe succsfully if nnected to the right rourc.