5 tths about gay lonels

THE AUTHENTIC GAY MAN PODST

Coach Maddox, host of The Authentic Gay Man Podst, reveals why so many gay men experience lonels and isolatn and the steps they n take, so they… * gay loneliness podcast *

Still, even as we celebrate the sle and speed of this change, the rat of prsn, lonels and substance abe the gay muny rema stuck the same place they’ve been for s.

In a survey of gay men who recently arrived New York Cy, three-quarters suffered om anxiety or prsn, abed dgs or alhol or were havg risky sex—or some batn of the three. “Marriage equaly and the chang legal stat were an improvement for some gay men, ” says Christopher Stults, a rearcher at New York Universy who studi the differenc mental health between gay and straight men. In the Netherlands, where gay marriage has been legal sce 2001, gay men rema three tim more likely to suffer om a mood disorr than straight men, and 10 tim more likely to engage “suicidal self-harm.

TTravis Salway, a rearcher wh the BC Centre for Disease Control Vanuver, has spent the last five years tryg to figure out why gay men keep killg themselv.

WHERE ARE ALL THE LONELY GAY MEN?

If male lonels is a morn epimic, where are all the lonely gay men? * gay loneliness podcast *

By the late 2000s, he was a social worker and epimlogist and, like me, was stck by the growg distance between his straight and gay iends.

BEG CHRISTIAN AND GAY

Coach Maddox, host of The Authentic Gay Man Podst, reveals why so many gay men experience lonels and isolatn and the steps they n take, so they n create ep meangful iendships that help them experience a profound sense of belongg and muny. If you have ever felt like you were… * gay loneliness podcast *

When the dispary first me to light the ’50s and ’60s, doctors thought was a symptom of homosexualy self, jt one of many maniftatns of what was, at the time, known as “sexual versn.

“That was the ia I had, too, ” Salway says, “that gay suici was a product of a bygone era, or was ncentrated among adolcents who didn’t see any other way out. He found that gay men everywhere, at every age, have higher rat of rdvascular disease, ncer, ntence, erectile dysfunctn, ⁠ allergi and asthma—you name , we got .

“We see gay men who have never been sexually or physilly asslted wh siar post-trmatic strs symptoms to people who have been bat suatns or who have been raped, ” says Alex Kroghlian, a psychiatrist at the Fenway Instute’s Center for Populatn Rearch LGBT Health. And I kept nyg was a problem bee I had always told myself, ‘I’ve e out, I moved to San Francis, I’m done, I did what I had to do as a gay person. For s, this is what psychologists thought, too: that the key stag inty formatn for gay men all led up to g out, that once we were fally fortable wh ourselv, we uld beg buildg a life wh a muny of people who’d gone through the same thg.

Is there a bigger source of lonels-ducg trma the gay muny than relig trma? This is Craig's story. * gay loneliness podcast *

“It’s like you emerge om the closet expectg to be this butterfly and the gay muny jt slaps the ialism out of you, ” Adam says.

It got so bad that I ed to go to the grocery store that was 40 mut away stead of the one that was 10 mut away jt bee I was so aaid to walk down the gay street. Several studi have found that livg gay neighborhoods predicts higher rat of risky sex and meth e and ls time spent on other muny activi like volunteerg or playg sports.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOU'RE GAY AND LONELY

This is all the ntent that Phil McAuliffe's created to support you and other gay men experiencg lonels to help you get the thentic nnectn you need and serve. This is the home of The Lonels Guy's blog, the Connectn over Coffee podst and YouTube channel. * gay loneliness podcast *

Acrdg to Dane Whicker, a clil psychologist and rearcher at De, most gay men report that they want to date someone mascule, and that they wished they acted more mascule themselv. A two-year longudal study found that the longer gay men were out of the closet, the more likely they were to bee versatile or tops. Rearchers say this kd of trag, liberately tryg to appear more mascule and takg on a different sex role, is jt one of the ways gay men prsure each other to atta “sexual pal, ” the equivalent of gog to the gym or pluckg our eyebrows.

So, his sophomore year, he started watchg his male teachers for their flt posns, liberately standg wh his feet wi, his arms at his sis. In the last 10 years, tradnal gay spac—bars, nightclubs, bathho—have begun to disappear, and have been replaced by social media. Usually when you hear about the shockg primacy of hookup apps gay life—Grdr, the most popular, says s average er spends 90 mut per day on —’s some panicked media story about murrers or homophob trawlg them for victims, or about the troublg “chemsex” scen that have spng up London and New York.

But the real effect of the apps is quieter, ls remarked-upon and, a way, more profound: For many of , they have bee the primary way we teract wh other gay people. The worst thg about the apps, though, and why they’re relevant to the health dispary between gay and straight men, is not jt that we e them a lot.

Phil McAuliffe is gay and gets lonely. Jo Phil for a ffee and chat wh him and his guts about how you n move through your lonels towards the thentic nnectn you've been searchg for. * gay loneliness podcast *

In terviews that Elr, the post-trmatic strs rearcher, nducted wh gay men 2015, he found that 90 percent said they wanted a partner who was tall, young, whe, mcular and mascule. Walt Ots, a psychologist who’s been wrg about social isolatn sce the 1980s, says that gay men ed to be troubled by the bathho the same way they are troubled by Grdr now.

The gay men I terviewed talked about the datg apps the same way straight people talk about Comst: It sucks, but what are you gonna do? “We often live our liv through the ey of others, ” says Alan Downs, a psychologist and the thor of The Velvet Rage, a book about gay men’s stggle wh shame and social validatn.

PPerry Halkis, a profsor at NYU, has been studyg the health gap between gay people and straight people sce the early ’90s. He has published four books on gay culture and has terviewed men dyg of HIV, reverg om party dgs and stgglg to plan their own weddgs. One of the most strikg studi I found scribed the spike anxiety and prsn among gay men 2004 and 2005, the years when 14 stat passed nstutnal amendments fg marriage as beg between a man and a woman.

The Authentic Gay Man Podst podst on mand - Coach Maddox, host of The Authentic Gay Man Podst, reveals why so many gay men experience lonels and isolatn and the steps they n take, so they n create ep meangful iendships that help them experience a profound sense of belongg... * gay loneliness podcast *

Gay men those stat showed a 37 percent crease mood disorrs, a 42 percent crease alholism and a 248 percent crease generalized anxiety disorr.

Now square that wh the fact that our untry recently elected a bright orange Demogon whose admistratn is publicly, eagerly attemptg to reverse every sgle ga the gay muny has ma the last 20 years.

Only around 30 percent of school districts the untry have anti-bullyg polici that specifilly mentn LGBTQ kids, and thoands of other districts have polici that prevent teachers om speakg about homosexualy a posive way. For the last four years, Nicholas Heck, a rearcher at Marquette Universy, has been nng support groups for gay kids high schools.

* gay loneliness podcast *

His parents meant well—they were jt tryg to enurage him to a field where he would enunter fewer homophob—but he was already anx: If he gave up on fance, was that surrenrg to stigma? In the last five years, as evince of this ternnectedns has piled up, a few psychologists and epimlogists have started to treat alienatn among gay men as a “synmic”: A clter of health problems, none of which n be fixed on their own.

There will always be more straight kids than gay kids, we will always be isolated among them, and we will always, on some level, grow up alone our fai and our schools and our towns. I keep thkg of somethg Pl, the software veloper, told me: “For gay people, we’ve always told ourselv that when the AIDS epimic was over we’d be fe. Coach Maddox, host of The Authentic Gay Man Podst, reveals why so many gay men experience lonels and isolatn and the steps they n take, so they n create ep meangful iendships that help them experience a profound sense of belongg and muny.

Connectn is the antidote to gay lonels, so let's stay nnected through the mailg list or the Premium Connectn Lounge on Facebook. * gay loneliness podcast *

If you’re terted gag sights to your own challeng by hearg vulnerable stori of other gay men and if you aspire to be an Authentic Gay Man, this is the podst for you.

Coach Maddox gently guis the terviewee and the listener through the stori of gay men om all over the world as they talk of beg their thentic…". Let me buy you a ffee and let's have a chat about how we n -stigmatise gay lonels and help you get the soul-nourishg nnectn you need and serve episo: ‘Lonels & takg unsafe risks - a ffee wh Dr Shayna Skakoon-Sparlg’ - Saturday 29 July 2023.

You and I – ed, the muny – need to have a nversatn about this so we live our liv as gay and queer men whout puttg ourselv at risk of HIV and STIs.

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Contents:

THE AUTHENTIC GAY MAN PODST

WHERE ARE ALL THE LONELY GAY MEN?

BEG CHRISTIAN AND GAY