What Would You Do If Your Child Said, 'I'm Gay'?

YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?

* thought daughter or gay son *

For straight parents, havg a child reveal that he is gay n be a jolt. You might ask how long he or she has known, and why he feels he is gay, bi, or trans, suggts Jonathan Tobk, M. D., a psychiatrist private practice New York Cy and the -thor of When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need to Know.

You n fd one through the Associatn of Gay and Lbian Psychiatrists. Take the extra step and show your child that you are terted beg the parent of a gay child. Edute yourself on what means to be gay, lbian, bisexual or transgenr.

PFLAG, or Parents for Lbians and Gays, which now has a group for transgenr youth, and holds natnwi chapters and meetgs;. ” Fally, Amanda buried her head her pillow and said, “I’m gay. A new study nducted by rearchers at Gee Washgton Universy found that most parents of lbian, gay, and bisexual youth have difficulty adjtg after their kids e study says is one of the first to systematilly exame the experience of parents raisg lbian, gay and bisexual children.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

When a child first out as eher beg gay or havg same-sex attractn their parents' ial rpons are ually the wrong on, says Chris Doyle, a psychotherapist who specializ SSA. * thought daughter or gay son *

”The study found that Ain Amerin and Lato parents have a harr time acceptg their lbian, gay and bisexual children, as do the parents of children who e out at a later study, which surveyed a much larger sample size than prev studi, nfirmed smaller studi that showed parents’ negative reactns tend to ease over time; the first two years are the harst for were no signifint differenc reactns between mother and father, the age of the parent, or the genr of the child. The study did not exame the reactns for the parents of transgenr general, acceptance seems to be growg rapidly for lbian, gay and bisexual youth.

There’s a lot of kids my school who are gay. Growg up, I was a tomboy — or what Larry David would later ll “pre-gay.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

And while my father was anx when I first me out as gay at 19, I have only ever felt supported by him.

When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns. As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child. Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups.

If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero. The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life. Contact Parents, Fay, and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG).

HOW CHRISTIAN PARENTS SHOULD RPOND TO THEIR CHILD'S GAY INTY CRISIS

List of Helpful Books for Parents of Gay and Lbian Children. Straight Parents Gay Children: Keepg Fai Together (revised edn). Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lbians, and Gays Talk About Their Experienc.