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13.814 10.007 13.043 10.043C12.329 10.075 11.942 10.194 11.683 10.295C11.3657 10.4124 11.0787 10.5993 10.843 10.842C10.586 11.098 10.427 11.342 10.295 11.684C10.195 11.942 10.075 12.329 10.043 13.043C10.007 13.814 10 14.046 10 16C10 17.954 10.007 18.186 10.043 18.957C10.075 19.671 10.194 20.058 10.295 20.317C10.427 20.658 10.586 20.902 10.842 21.157C11.098 21.414 11.342 21.573 11.684 21.705C11.942 21.805 12.329 21.925 13.043 21.957C13.814 21.993 14.046 22 16 22C17.954 22 18.186 21.993 18.957 21.957C19.671 21.925 20.058 21.806 20.317 21.705C20.658 21.573 20.902 21.414 21.157 21.158C21.414 20.902 21.573 20.658 21.705 20.316C21.805 20.058 21.925 19.671 21.957 18.957C21.993 18.186 22 17.954 22 16C22 14.046 21.993 13.814 21.957 13.043C21.925 12.329 21.806 11.942 21.705 11.683C21.5876 11.3657 21.4007 11.0787 21.158 10.843C20.9219 10.5997 20.6341 10.4124 20.316 10.295C20.058 10.195 19.671 10.075 18.957 10.043C18.186 10.007 17.954 10 16 10ZM16 11.768C16.5558 11.768 17.1061 11.8775 17.6195 12.0901C18.133 12.3028 18.5995 12.6145 18.9925 13.0075C19.3855 13.4005 19.6972 13.867 19.9099 14.3805C20.1225 14.8939 20.232 15.4442 20.232 16C20.232 16.5558 20.1225 17.1061 19.9099 17.6195C19.6972 18.133 19.3855 18.5995 18.9925 18.9925C18.5995 19.3855 18.133 19.6972 17.6195 19.9099C17.1061 20.1225 16.5558 20.232 16 20.232C14.8776 20.232 13.8012 19.7861 13.0075 18.9925C12.2139 18.1988 11.768 17.1224 11.768 16C11.768 14.8776 12.2139 13.8012 13.0075 13.0075C13.8012 12.2139 14.8776 11.768 16 11.768ZM16 18.368C16.628 18.368 17.2303 18.1185 17.6744 17.6744C18.1185 17.2303 18.368 16.628 18.368 16C18.368 15.372 18.1185 14.7697 17.6744 14.3256C17.2303 13.8815 16.628 13.632 16 13.632C15.372 13.632 14.7697 13.8815 14.3256 14.3256C13.8815 14.7697 13.632 15.372 13.632 16C13.632 16.628 13.8815 17.2303 14.3256 17.6744C14.7697 18.1185 15.372 18.368 16 18.368ZM21.3 11.85C21.3 12.155 21.1788 12.4475 20.9632 12.6632C20.7475 12.8788 20.455 13 20.15 13C19.845 13 19.5525 12.8788 19.3368 12.6632C19.1212 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data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp cCntXd"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT eRFpQc"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kpuNXj bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fTtYjx bric__lk" href="/culture"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jPOabC BjYFU">How to Bang Anonymoly, Safely</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eASNBN">NSA sex is more fun when you drop a p for your iends first.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 80w" siz="66px"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 90w" siz="66px"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gtxxjM byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fhQbnq dzFUnH eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/david-levley">David Levley</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2018-08-30T08:00:00-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ivrQAn cZpOSL">Augt 30, 2018</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ccdiSo"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Yellow triangle warng sign ntag the logo for Grr a gay datg app" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE dVZQpq ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN XczIg"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd cdsJgg fNaHcW ptn__cred">Illtratn by Alicia Tatone</span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg ctaZl social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP eRxRjL"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>The first time I ever tly thought I was gog to die was bee of Grdr. Standg outsi a door a neighborhood I didn’t know very well, wag for someone I’d never met to e down and let me , I thought to myself, <em>Nobody would know where to fd my body if I disappeared.</em></p><p>Hook-up apps are a plete light a thoand ways, but is tly astonishg how pletely we put our need for some bomb-ass D over any sense of utn. I have leapt to the rs of strangers on ntents I had never been to before. I have found myself dark, seclud rners of ci I lled home wh no ia how to get home. Every time, dicks were wrapped and boundari tablished, but I’d let other forms of safety fall by the waysi.</p><p>Back to that day, ont of a heavy metal door, before a man me down to fetch me, I cid to send a text to my iends: <em>Here’s his addrs. Everythg seems fe. If you haven’t heard om me  12 hours, send emergency servic here.</em> That man end up beg my boyiend for several months, but why was I even takg that gamble? Why was I so ashamed of what I was dog that I wasn’t even nsirg my safety?</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Grdr, Scff, and all of their ilk are rarely dangero plac, and even then, I’ve felt more at risk om long-term partners than I have at the hands of strangers. There is a subterranean, secretive si of hook-ups that's thrillg—is there anythg more joyo than slippg out of a General Electn viewg party to engage watersports (look up, my straight alli) at a nearby hotel and then returng like nothg happened? But then also the risks of jt disappearg to the night to meet a stranger sprawled naked his shower un.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>There mt be a balance between clanste tryst and treatg your own life wh very ltle rpect. Gog to a stranger’s door wasn’t jt sexy for me; was the product of gay male history. We've long need to e s and dark rners to fd affectn when we were told we were illegal. I didn’t need to do that now, and more importantly, was no longer shrewd or erotic to slip to the night for hanky-panky: I should tst and rpect my iends and muny enough to tell them where I’m gog.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="28a6ce"></div></div><p>And when iends ci to leave drks for a quick threome, ’s <em>my</em> rponsibily to make sure they feel I’ve got their back. The first time I saw straight female iends mandg the addrs and ETAs of their iends’ new slampiec, wantg texts when they arrived, wantg updat, I was shocked at how unfettered their paranoia was. But then I saw the gratu their iends’ fac that somebody was worried about them. No matter how overbearg, the rponse was the same: Thank you for emg my safety jt as important as my asm.</p><p>After all, is there anythg sexier than the full knowledge that you’re shaggg safety? Sometim your hook-up will do that for you, wh a glass of we, a b of TV beforehand, a nvenient safe-word before they imprison you the edgg dungeon. The other tim—the first tim, the sperate tim, the riskier tim—what we need is our muny to remd there’s a world, and people, who re beyond the bedroom doors. People who won’t be shocked or disgted that you wanted a shag: iends who want to know that you’re alive and healthy, and jt how much you me.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="aqvsk7"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div 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YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD OF THE RED SRE, BUT THE LSER-KNOWN, ANTI-GAY 'LAVENR SRE' IS RARELY TGHT SCHOOLS

We learn about the Red Sre school, but not about the Lavenr Sre, the policy that discrimated agast gay ernment employe * nsa gay world *

“They read me my rights, ” he rells, “and they said ‘we unrstand you’re leadg a gay liftyle. ’ And I remember sayg, ‘well, I didn’t thk I was leadg , but y, I’m gay.

Eisenhower’s Executive Orr 10450, the vtigatn, terrogatn and systematic removal of gay men and lbians om the feral ernment beme policy.

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Posts about NSA wrten by thegaystateblog * nsa gay world *

Known as the “Lavenr Sre, ” the policy was based on the unfound fear that gay men and lbians “posed a threat to natnal secury bee they were vulnerable to blackmail and were nsired to have weak moral characters, ” says historian David K. Joseph McCarthy’s fear-mongerg “Red Sre” mpaign the early 1950s, which targeted alleged subversive munists workg the feral ernment, thoands of ernment employe were forced out of their jobs as a rult of the anti-gay policy.

The polil and moral fears about alleged subversiv beme tertwed wh a backlash agast homosexualy, as gay and lbian culture had grown visibily the post-war years. The Lavenr Sre tied the notns together, nflatg gay people wh munists and allegg they uld not be tsted wh ernment secrets and labellg them as secury risks, even though there was no evince to prove this. Johnson timat that somewhere between 5, 000 and 10, 000 people lost their jobs as a rult of the Lavenr Sre, although is difficult to know the te number of people affected, as the policy acted as a terrent to any gay man or lbian woman who would have been prospective ndidat for ernment jobs.

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Acrdg to a 1983 oral history terview wh drag kg Rty Brown, who served the Navy, the fear went even beyond Washgton, permeatg the entertament dtry Hollywood and the bars and nightclubs New York Cy, as people were aaid they would be fired if their employers found out they were gay. By 1965, Kameny and other gay men and lbians were picketg outsi the Whe Hoe and helpg other fired employe wh their urt s.

And although 1975 the Civil Service Commissn announced new l that meant gay people uld no longer be barred or fired om feral employment bee of their sexualy, discrimatn ntued other agenci where employe had secury clearance, like the NSA, where Shoemaker worked. Wh the civil rights activist’s help, Shoemaker beme the first gay employee at the NSA to keep their job and their secury clearance after such an vtigatn, unr the ndn that he told his fay he was gay. And although Pete Buttigieg was recently announced as print-elect Joe Bin’s pick for Transportatn Secretary, which would make him the first openly gay Cabet member, discrimatn agast members of the LGBTQ muny is still prent current U.

1950s: FBI Surveillance of HomosexualsDurg the 1950s the FBI engaged wispread surveillance of the gay world. Not only did llect om lol vice squads the nam of men arrted on homosexual morals charg; also placed a watch on gay bars and filtrated the Mattache Society and the Dghters of Bilis.

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Late March and early APril Hoover orred agents to terview a woman about Pffie's "homosexual activi. " Offie had once told an FBI rmer, "an admted homosexual, " that "I'd like to sleep wh you. " The homosexual rmer said "Offie is as queer asa a $3 bill" and is "known among the Washgton higher homosexuals as 'one of .

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data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp cCntXd"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT eRFpQc"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX kpuNXj bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fTtYjx bric__lk" href="/culture"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jPOabC BjYFU">How to Bang Anonymoly, Safely</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eASNBN">NSA sex is more fun when you drop a p for your iends first.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearContributorImage-cvjZXn epCAJC rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 80w" siz="66px"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 90w" siz="66px"/><img alt="" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></span><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gtxxjM byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fhQbnq dzFUnH eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/david-levley">David Levley</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2018-08-30T08:00:00-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd ivrQAn cZpOSL">Augt 30, 2018</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP fEknXh lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc Grck lead-asset--width-fullbleed" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz ccdiSo"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb hONbnm rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Yellow triangle warng sign ntag the logo for Grr a gay datg app" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE dVZQpq ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN XczIg"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd cdsJgg fNaHcW ptn__cred">Illtratn by Alicia Tatone</span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg ctaZl social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP eRxRjL"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa edvONh body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>The first time I ever tly thought I was gog to die was bee of Grdr. Standg outsi a door a neighborhood I didn’t know very well, wag for someone I’d never met to e down and let me , I thought to myself, <em>Nobody would know where to fd my body if I disappeared.</em></p><p>Hook-up apps are a plete light a thoand ways, but is tly astonishg how pletely we put our need for some bomb-ass D over any sense of utn. I have leapt to the rs of strangers on ntents I had never been to before. I have found myself dark, seclud rners of ci I lled home wh no ia how to get home. Every time, dicks were wrapped and boundari tablished, but I’d let other forms of safety fall by the waysi.</p><p>Back to that day, ont of a heavy metal door, before a man me down to fetch me, I cid to send a text to my iends: <em>Here’s his addrs. Everythg seems fe. If you haven’t heard om me  12 hours, send emergency servic here.</em> That man end up beg my boyiend for several months, but why was I even takg that gamble? Why was I so ashamed of what I was dog that I wasn’t even nsirg my safety?</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Grdr, Scff, and all of their ilk are rarely dangero plac, and even then, I’ve felt more at risk om long-term partners than I have at the hands of strangers. There is a subterranean, secretive si of hook-ups that's thrillg—is there anythg more joyo than slippg out of a General Electn viewg party to engage watersports (look up, my straight alli) at a nearby hotel and then returng like nothg happened? But then also the risks of jt disappearg to the night to meet a stranger sprawled naked his shower un.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>There mt be a balance between clanste tryst and treatg your own life wh very ltle rpect. Gog to a stranger’s door wasn’t jt sexy for me; was the product of gay male history. We've long need to e s and dark rners to fd affectn when we were told we were illegal. I didn’t need to do that now, and more importantly, was no longer shrewd or erotic to slip to the night for hanky-panky: I should tst and rpect my iends and muny enough to tell them where I’m gog.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="28a6ce"></div></div><p>And when iends ci to leave drks for a quick threome, ’s <em>my</em> rponsibily to make sure they feel I’ve got their back. The first time I saw straight female iends mandg the addrs and ETAs of their iends’ new slampiec, wantg texts when they arrived, wantg updat, I was shocked at how unfettered their paranoia was. But then I saw the gratu their iends’ fac that somebody was worried about them. No matter how overbearg, the rponse was the same: Thank you for emg my safety jt as important as my asm.</p><p>After all, is there anythg sexier than the full knowledge that you’re shaggg safety? Sometim your hook-up will do that for you, wh a glass of we, a b of TV beforehand, a nvenient safe-word before they imprison you the edgg dungeon. The other tim—the first tim, the sperate tim, the riskier tim—what we need is our muny to remd there’s a world, and people, who re beyond the bedroom doors. People who won’t be shocked or disgted that you wanted a shag: iends who want to know that you’re alive and healthy, and jt how much you me.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="aqvsk7"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div 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bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemRubric-bFqsqT iUEiRd bGlCJj cvqxGA"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Sex</span></div><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemHed-cljMtD iUEiRd hNEuYK cRpZRn">The Bt Sex Toys for Begners Are The Gateway to Bigger O's </div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Kate Sloan</span></span></p></div></div></a></li><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ DRac"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB eInHsS summary-em-trackg__image-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Zac Eon and Jeremy Allen Whe Are Swole-as-Hell The Iron Claw's First-Look Image" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></div></div></picture></span><div class="OverlaySummaryItemContent-ddGOWz fHZSgO"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX hXmUmf bric bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemRubric-bFqsqT iUEiRd bGlCJj cvqxGA"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></div><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemHed-cljMtD iUEiRd hNEuYK cRpZRn">Zac Eon and Jeremy Allen Whe Are Swole-as-Hell <em>The Iron Claw's</em> First-Look Image</div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Jack Kg</span></span></p></div></div></a></li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot 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bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemRubric-bFqsqT iUEiRd bGlCJj cvqxGA"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Style</span></div><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemHed-cljMtD iUEiRd hNEuYK cRpZRn">How Seth Rolls Beme the WWE’s Undisputed Fashn Kg</div></div></div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl OverlaySummaryItemByl-bogcUE fjwtNK"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH bfGBQB byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd dlWgVJ gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Yang-Yi Goh</span></span></p></div></div></a></li><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ DRac"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB eInHsS summary-em-trackg__image-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Sex Liv: A Guy Who Went om a Conservative Relig Background to Htg the Swipe Lim on Tr" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></div></div></picture></span><div class="OverlaySummaryItemContent-ddGOWz fHZSgO"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX hXmUmf bric bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ 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