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ontend-pencraft-Text-module__weight-normal--s54Wf ontend-pencraft-Text-module__font-text--QmNJR ontend-pencraft-Text-module__lor-sendary--WRADg ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-module__body4--Pl3xY">Other</div></button></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="post-hear"><h1 class="post-tle unpublished">Are You Aaid of the Dark? Queer Guilt and Olivier A Btal Tellg </h1><h3 class="subtle">On li and life the closet</h3><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-directn-lumn--Rq7pk ontend-pencraft-Box-module__paddg-bottom-16--KVxKv"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-directn-lumn--Rq7pk ontend-pencraft-Box-module__paddg-y-16--ohCEm"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-jtify-start--_8fEd ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-align-center--rSd6h ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-12--rODKq"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flexGrow--mx4xz ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-align-center--rSd6h ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-8--HFpIK facepile"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-align-center--rSd6h"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-align-center--rSd6h ontend-ponents-Facepile-module__fac--FVkdk ontend-ponents-Facepile-module__size-40--pH6IT"><div class="profile-hover-rd-target ontend-rear2-ProfileAndPublitnHoverCard-module__profileHoverCardTarget--Od_YL"><a href=" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flexAuto--CnX9I ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset=" /><img src=" siz="100vw" alt style="z-x: 1;" width="80" class="ontend-ponents-rponsive_img-module__img--Pgjj2 facepile-face ontend-ponents-Facepile-module__face--uAQkp ontend-ponents-Facepile-module__size-40--pH6IT ontend-ponents-Facepile-module__first--TZamh ontend-ponents-Facepile-module__last--DT3p3" /></picture></a></div></div></div></div></div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-directn-lumn--Rq7pk"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__size-11--k1e8b ontend-pencraft-Text-module__le-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__weight-medium--x7khA ontend-pencraft-Text-module__font-meta--U_nxy ontend-pencraft-Text-module__lor-pub-primary-text--RzL7j ontend-pencraft-Text-module__transform-upperse--IDkUL ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-module__meta--jzHdd"><div class="profile-hover-rd-target ontend-rear2-ProfileAndPublitnHoverCard-module__profileHoverCardTarget--Od_YL"><a href=" class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ratn-hover-unrle--BEYAn ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ret--dW0zZ">Aya Mart Seaver</a></div></div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-4--zeW5_"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__size-11--k1e8b ontend-pencraft-Text-module__le-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__weight-medium--x7khA ontend-pencraft-Text-module__font-meta--U_nxy ontend-pencraft-Text-module__lor-pub-sendary-text--OzRTa ontend-pencraft-Text-module__transform-upperse--IDkUL ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-module__meta--jzHdd">Oct 19, 2022</div></div></div></div></div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flexGrow--mx4xz ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-jtify-space-between--NvIcg ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-align-center--rSd6h ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-16--TpblU ontend-pencraft-Box-module__paddg-y-16--ohCEm ontend-pencraft-Box-module__borr-top-tail-themed--e17yZ ontend-pencraft-Box-module__borr-bottom-tail-themed--eVwFY post-ufi"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-8--HFpIK"><div class="like-button-ntaer post-ufi-button style-button"><a role="button" class="post-ufi-button style-button has-label wh-borr"><svg role="img" style="height: 20px; 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Queer Guilt and Olivier A Btal Tellg </h4><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__size-14--Ume6q ontend-pencraft-Text-module__le-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__weight-normal--s54Wf ontend-pencraft-Text-module__font-text--QmNJR ontend-pencraft-Text-module__lor-sendary--WRADg ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-module__body4--Pl3xY"></div></div></div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-jtify-space-between--NvIcg ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-8--HFpIK share-dialog-buttons-wrapper"><button tabInx="0" type="button" class="button share-actn"><div class="actn-in"><svg role="img" width="20" height="16" viewBox="0 0 20 16" fill="none" stroke-width="1.8" stroke="#000" xmlns="><g><tle></tle><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M12.1303 0.000379039C10.9833 -0.00959082 9.87819 0.431464 9.05309 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class="label">Share</div></a></div></div></div></div><div class="visibily-check"></div><div class class><div class="available-ntent"><div dir="to" class="body markup"><p><em>Hi iends,</em></p><p><em>Amazon released the trailer for “Three P,” ’s eight-episo adaptatn of Louise Penny’s books, last week. </em></p><div id="youtube2-LylysgtUgZY" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{"vioId":"LylysgtUgZY","startTime":null,"endTime":null}" data-ponent-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-ner"><iame src=" ameborr="0" loadg="lazy" gture="media" allow="toplay; fullscreen" allowtoplay="te" allowfullscreen="te" width="728" height="409"></iame></div></div><p><em>What did you thk? Are you planng on watchg? Let know!</em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{"url":" a ment","actn":null,"class":null}" data-ponent-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href=" rel><span>Leave a ment</span></a></p><p><em><span>This week’s say is om Aya Mart-Seaver, the -edor of this project and wrer of C</span><a href=" rel>an You Stand Her?</a><span>, a newsletter about Anthony Trollope’s 1856 novel Can You Five Her. </span></em></p><div class="pullquote"><p><em>“To disver that one has been lied to a personal relatnship, however, leads one to feel a ltle crazy.” Adrienne Rich “Women and Honor: Some Not on Lyg”</em><span> </span></p></div><p><span>When I started readg Penny’s books wh </span><em>Still Life </em><span>I was surprised to fd a queer heart at the center of Three P the form of Olivier’s Bistro. For all the queer advancement lerature, ’s still rare to fd a book wh meangful queer characters that isn’t marketed as a “queer book” and </span><em>Still Life, </em><span>published 2005, many ways was ahead of the curve.  </span><em>Still Life </em><span>self is actually a rather queer book wh tenr portrayals of the town fendg Olivier and Gabri om homophobia and a storyle about the terrors of queer young adulthood. But when I read book five, </span><em>A Btal Tellg</em><span>, published four years later 2009, and end wh Olivier’s arrt for murr I found myself slightly heartbroken — betrayed even. The gay antique aler kills a myster, lonely herm to get more antiqu? While Penny spends book six provg Olivier nocent, I remaed irrated and miststful. </span></p><p><span>So when I had a chance to wre about Louise Penny for this project, I set out to unrstand Olivier’s ial “fall om grace” wh more nuance. I wanted to reem </span><em>A Btal Tellg </em><span> my own ey but also unrstand my own reactn and brg greater plexy to my own readg of queerns Three P. Obvly, I uld not wre off all books where somethg sad happened to queer characters as bad books — and general, I don’t. If I was gog to ntue the seri I need to unrstand what had set me off. </span></p><p><span>Olivier’s li are a central theme of </span><em>A Btal Tellg. </em><span>To try and keep them straight I ma a chart:</span></p><div class="ptned-image-ntaer"><figure><a class="image-lk is-viewable-img image2" target="_blank" href=" data-ponent-name="Image2ToDOM" rel><div class="image2-set"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" /><img src=" width="1024" height="768" data-attrs="{"src":"" class="sizg-normal" alt srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" loadg="lazy" /></picture><div class="image-lk-expand"><svg xmlns=" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="#FFFFFF" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="luci luci-maximize2"><polyle pots="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyle><polyle pots="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyle><le x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></le><le x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></le></svg></div></div></a></figure></div><p><span>When Inspector Gamache realiz how much his iend Olivier is lyg to him — and as we n see om the graph he li to Gamache possibly the most — he certaly feels trated.  Penny wr about Gamache’s “tratn at a wns who was behavg like his six-year-old nephew acced of stealg oki.” He may even, as Rich says, “feel a ltle crazy.” But </span><em>is </em><span>Olivier lyg like a child ught wh his hand the okie jar or is there somethg else gog on — somethg queer? </span></p><p><span>In </span><em>The Queer Unnny </em><span>Ple Palmer wr that “Secrecy, and the signifint role equently plays the liv of lbians and gay men” and Rich’s “Some Not on Lyg”</span><em>,</em><span> bears this observatn out. As queer wrers have shown time and aga secrecy is a central theme of queerns. But secrecy is also a theme of murr. In </span><em>A Great Reckong, </em><span>Gamache says, “​​every homici I’ve ever vtigated started as a secret.”   What Gamache do not reflect on is that unr the gaze of pulsory heterosexualy —  the assumptn by society that everyone is straight and queerns is the aberratn — every queer person also starts out as a secret too. I wonred if Gamache unrstood the plexy this layered to Olivier’s lyg or the cross purpos this would tomatilly put the two of them at.  </span></p><p><em>A Btal Tellg </em><span>pairs this theme of secrets and li revealg a seri of secrets and li throughout the book: the Herm’s existence, the asshole sat Vcent Gilbert’s life, and the art cric Denis Fort’s homophobia jt to name a few. But should every secret see the light of day? Wh a queer ntext Olivier mt keep some secrets — we learn, for example, that he isn’t out to his fay —  but I wonred if Gamache unrstood the paful ercive power of secrets queer life. That secrets, for reasons of safety or practily, are sential to existence and aren’t always a matter of choice. Furthermore, sometim a secret is a kdns and a method of protectn. </span><br /></p><div class="ptned-image-ntaer"><figure><a class="image-lk is-viewable-img image2" target="_blank" href=" data-ponent-name="Image2ToDOM" rel><div class="image2-set"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" /><img src=" width="333" height="500" data-attrs="{"src":" Btal Tellg: A Chief Inspector Gamache Novel (A Chief Inspector Gamache Mystery Book 5) - Kdle edn by Penny, Louise. Mystery, Thriller & Spense Kdle eBooks @ ;,"tle":null,"type":null,"href":null,"belowTheFold":te,"topImage":false,"ternalRedirect":null}" class="sizg-normal" alt="The Btal Tellg: A Chief Inspector Gamache Novel (A Chief Inspector Gamache Mystery Book 5) - Kdle edn by Penny, Louise. Mystery, Thriller & Spense Kdle eBooks @ " tle="The Btal Tellg: A Chief Inspector Gamache Novel (A Chief Inspector Gamache Mystery Book 5) - Kdle edn by Penny, Louise. Mystery, Thriller & Spense Kdle eBooks @ " srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" loadg="lazy" /></picture><div class="image-lk-expand"><svg xmlns=" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="#FFFFFF" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="luci luci-maximize2"><polyle pots="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyle><polyle pots="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyle><le x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></le><le x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></le></svg></div></div></a></figure></div><p>In my first readg, I thought absolutely not. After all, Gamache do not reflect on Olivier’s closetg wh his relatnship wh fay and he don’t reflect on Olivier’s queer inty at all. But readg for this say I found out that Gamache thks of li as victims of the vtigatn, not ltle trophi but victims. He thks:</p><blockquote><p>some of the first victims of a murr vtigatn were people’s li. The li they told themselv, the li they told each other. The ltle li that allowed them to get out of bed on ld, dark morngs. Gamache and his team hunted the li down and exposed them. Until all the small tal told to ease everyday liv disappeared. And people were left naked.</p></blockquote><p><span>To me, this quote suggts that Gamache unrstands some li are better left untold-- some thgs should not e to light. But his lack of patience wh Olivier’s li towards the end of the book giv me pse. It’s a remr — proof, even — of Gamache’s fallibily. Detractors of Louise Penny’s books often claim the tective is perfect, yet </span><em>A Btal Tellg </em><span>is an entire book voted to the nsequenc of Gamache’s bld spots. </span></p><p>And one of his biggt oversights is seen his treatment of Olivier pecially the arrt scene. Then, Gamache fails to appreciate that Olivier’s hab of lyg om the necsy of stayg the closet as he grew up –  an emotnal necsy many queer people still face. If the natural progrsn Gamache’s md is to go om lyg about the oki to tellg the tth, the passage om childhood to adulthood —queerns halts this passage and mak lyg the statn, not the orig.</p><blockquote><p>Love this Not From Three P? Htg the heart at the top or bottom of this email each week helps new people fd .</p></blockquote><p>Olivier seems to unrstand the nnectn between li and the closet he is still partially .  He even lks the when he thks about his li around the herm’s ath, “even to his own ears sound like a lie. I didn’t take the last okie, I didn’t take the fe bone cha cup, I didn’t steal the money om your purse. I’m not gay.” In this quote the domos of lyg lead to the root of the secrets: his queerns. The simple li of childhood do not give way unr queerns but spawn. For Olivier this secrecy seems safe — or at least safer than the tth —while for Gamache reprents murr. But Gamache miss this part of Olivier’s experience. This I thk is why Gamache fails to unrstand a few paragraphs later why Olivier wasn’t aaid of walkg to the dark fort.</p><blockquote><p>“Weren’t you aaid of the dark?” Gamache asked so simply…. “It’s not the dark I’m aaid of,” said Olivier. And he remembered the eedom that me only after the sun set. In cy parks, darkened theaters, bedrooms. The bliss that me wh beg able to shed the outer shell of himself. Protected by the night. It wasn’t the dark that sred him, but what might e to light.”</p></blockquote><p><span>This stood out to me immediately. Olivier’s clear, yet d, imagg of the eedom of cisg and gay sexualy that n occur only the dark p Gamache and his team who stggle to unrstand the plexy of queerns. Gamache, bee perhaps he is so acceptg of his iend’s sexualy, do not parse the upsi-down world Olivier liv . This ultimately means he nnot accurately read Olivier’s repeated attempts at secrecy. Where he se secrecy as lyg to ver up a crime Olivier is actually lyg to ver up more secrets bee he do not tst the tth. The tragedy of </span><em>A Btal Tellg </em><span>is that unrstandg is what Gamache do so amazgly and surprisgly well. He fds people and se through the darkns. But Olivier is, perhaps, jt too ed to hidg for even a iend to fd him. Gamache, so nfint of his own abili, don’t believe he uld misread someone so badly. </span></p><p><span>As I moved on to book six, </span><em>Bury Your Dead, </em><span>I had a hard time lettg go of my rentment of book five.  Olivier, notably and unrstandably, don’t immediately five Gamache for not tstg him. I stumbled on an onle review where a rear was annoyed at Olivier about this and I wonred —  was I beg annoyg? </span></p><div class="ptned-image-ntaer"><figure><a class="image-lk is-viewable-img image2" target="_blank" href=" data-ponent-name="Image2ToDOM" rel><div class="image2-set"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" /><img src=" width="333" height="500" data-attrs="{"src":" Bury Your Dead: A Chief Inspector Gamache Novel (Chief Inspector Gamache Novel, 6): 9780312626907: Penny, Louise: Books","tle":null,"type":null,"href":null,"belowTheFold":te,"topImage":false,"ternalRedirect":null}" class="sizg-normal" alt=" Bury Your Dead: A Chief Inspector Gamache Novel (Chief Inspector Gamache Novel, 6): 9780312626907: Penny, Louise: Books" tle=" Bury Your Dead: A Chief Inspector Gamache Novel (Chief Inspector Gamache Novel, 6): 9780312626907: Penny, Louise: Books" srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" loadg="lazy" /></picture><div class="image-lk-expand"><svg xmlns=" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="#FFFFFF" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="luci luci-maximize2"><polyle pots="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyle><polyle pots="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyle><le x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></le><le x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></le></svg></div></div></a></figure></div><p> It was wrg this that helped me realize the fact was I also felt betrayed by Olivier. I hadn’t closed the loop. I uld not believe my queer iend had betrayed me, stepped over the le, and acted so badly. Perhaps wasn’t Gamache but me who was “driven a ltle crazy” by Olivier’s li.  </p><p><span>In </span><em>Not on Lyg </em><span>Rich go on to ask </span></p><blockquote><p><span>“Do a life “ the closet”--lyg, perhaps of necsy, about ourselv to boss, landlords, clients, lleagu, fay, bee the law and public opn are found on a lie-- do this, n spread to private life so that lyg (scribed as </span><em>discretn) </em><span>be an easy way to avoid nflict or plitn? Can bee a strategy so graed that is ed even wh close iends and lovers?” </span></p></blockquote><p><span>And I wonred siarly, did Olivier’s life of closetg himself fluence his actns wh the herm? This perhaps was what I was really aaid of: that Olivier had killed the herm bee beg the closet had rpted him somehow. Aaid too that my favore new thor had fallen to the trope where the gay character ms a crime </span><em>bee </em><span>they’re gay. But Penny has more skill than that. Olivier isn’t acced of killg the herm to stay the queer closet but the </span><em>Olivier </em><span>closet. He’s built his own web of discretn and li jt like Rich scrib “Not on Lyg.”  </span></p><p><span> In fact, the life Olivier lived before he met Gabri sounds like ’s right out of “Not on Lyg.” In </span><em>A Btal Tellg </em><span>he reflects that he had “ thought of himself and his iends as gay men. Discreet, elegant, cynil. Gabri was jt queer. Common. And fat. There was nothg discreet about him.” Notable here is Olivier’s almost unspoken adherence to discretn around his sexualy and inty. So sharp is this loyalty that is not even directly named until is nonted wh s exact oppose the form of Gabri’s large, voluble, queer body. Olivier is terrified of beg </span><em>queer </em><span>he longs to be only </span><em>gay. </em><span>The distctn here is clearly one of style and class. Queer is an sult a way gay is not but queer is also obv and open a way gay is not. Gay for Olivier meant “discreet, elegant, cynil” probably also meant th and anx and rich. In a way, a gay Olivier is the closet still even if ’s a queer one. </span></p><p><span>But what I was missg too was how Olivier had changed sce he first met Gabri. He no longer would dismiss his partner as </span><em>mon. </em><span>And the first book, he kiss Gabri’s hand when children yell “queer” at them. </span><em>A Btal Tellg </em><span>begs further back time before the Bistro was the Bistro before Olivier had grown his warm queer heart. Ultimately Olivier don’t lie bee of the person he is now but bee of the person he was then — sred and learng how to be kd. I had to go forward to the rt of the books acceptg book five. After all if I wanted Olivier to have the happy queer life I imaged for him Olivier need to be found out eventually: he certaly was never gog to tell on himself. </span></p><p><em>Aya Mart Seaver is a librarian Washgton D.C. Her newsletter </em><span>Can You Stand Her? </span><em>about Anthony Trollope’s 1856 novel </em><span>Can You Five Her? </span><em><span>ns bi-weekly. You n subscribe to </span><a href=" rel>Aya’s newsletter </a><span>and fd her on </span><a href=" rel>Twter </a><span>and </span><a href=" rel>Instagram. </a></em></p><div><hr /></div><p><span>Not om Three P</span><em> </em><span>is a short-n newsletter n through Substack celebratg and explorg Louise Penny’s Inspector Gamache books. Love Gamache or Ruth’s duck Rosa? 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