6 Signs of a Healthy Gay Relatnship – Brian Gerald Murphy

Contents:

• 6 SIGNS OF A HEALTHY GAY RELATNSHIP
• HOW TO MATA A HEALTHY GAY RELATNSHIP
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

6 SIGNS OF A HEALTHY GAY RELATNSHIP

INDEX Intro Stag of Healthy Gay RelatnshipsIntro To Domtic VlenceIntroductn to Gay Male Domtic VlenceTreatment Of Domtic VlenceTreatment Of Domtic VlenceDV LksReferenc Before discsg what is obvly velopment of dysfunctnal relatnship procs, a review of healthy gay upl' velopment would be helpful. While there are many that wish to prent gay relatnships as herently dysfunctnal (see for example lk 1, and lk 2), work by rpected thors such as Gottman and Julien (Julien et al, 2003) dite otherwise. Gay and lbian upl seek the same kd of mutually supportive, romantic, and emotnally timate bonds as straight upl.

They fe relatnship satisfactn largely the same way as of the earlit and most well known mols of gay uple velopment was that of McWhirter and Mattison (1984, 1987a, 1987b). McWhirter and Mattison nceptualized gay relatnships as nsistg of six stag. They began their discsn of their mol, however, by discsg the climate which gay relatnships velop.

They noted that: "Heterosexual upl do not grapple wh issu about rol, fanc, ownerships, and social obligatns the same way as gay men do. The heterosexual uple that was ncerned about acceptance by their mutual fai was exceptnal, whereas this was the le for homosexual upl....

HOW TO MATA A HEALTHY GAY RELATNSHIP

Heterosexual upl lived wh some expectatn that their relatnships were to last "until ath do part, " whereas gay upl wonred if their relatnships uld survive.

Gay men have only the same heterosexual mols, cludg their own fai, which they may try to emulate but fd unsuable.... Non-gay people rarely qutn the rightns or wrongns of their sexual orientatn, but at some pot gay persons do.

3) While they ma the ments over 15 years ago, is worth notg that many rpects, ltle has changed:The bate over gay marriage has stirred many negative ments the media, wh some seemg bent on cg any rearch they n fd (even if outdated and irrelevant) to ntue to prent gay men as child molters who would harm children (see for example lk). This rais the qutn of whether gay upl granted the right to marry would experience the same benefs. Intertgly, Gallagher thks not and is agast gay marriage as a rult.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

Wae, on the other hand, is unsure, as is difficult to predict whether society would really give the same support to gay upl. One uld argue nvcgly, however, that by nyg marriage and the legal, relig, and faial support should brg to gay upl, society discrimat and harms gay upl by placg them at an creased risk for relatnship polls have been nducted about gay marriage. Perhaps the overall summary down to this: Over 50% of Amerins are agast gay marriage, but over 50% of Amerins are agast a nstutnal amendment prohibg gay marriage and agast impeachg the judge om Massachetts who led that the State mt provi for gay marriag.

Clearly, equal support for gay and lbian upl is still a ntent and hotly bated issue our argue gay marriag would be unstable, and would only lead to the dilutg of marriage as a sacred stutn (see lk). Others pot out that Danish society, only 15% of gay marriag end divorce, pared to 46% of straight on. Gottman and lleagu (2003b) based on their 12 year longudal study reported that 20% of their gay and lbian upl end their relatnships, and extrapolated to a 40 year perd this would yield a divorce rate of 63.

As noted later this paper, legal discrimatn plit the regnn and treatment of domtic vlence, as well as the protectn of gay and lbian victims of domtic September 11th, 2001, Jerry Falwell actually blamed the terrorist bombgs on God's displeasure wh Ameri over femists, abortns, and gays and lbians, wh Pat Robertson supportg this opn (see lk). Th, the formatn of healthy gay relatnships is still hoed a society that is, to a large extent, ambivalent at bt and aggrsive at worst toward gays. Nohels, what follows is a short summary of McWhirter and Mattison's (1984) six stag of velopment healthy gay relatnships.