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class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm jEGgOR bmhHIl alert-msage"><p>To revis this article, vis My Profile, then<!-- --> <a href="/acunt/saved">View saved stori</a></p></div><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ gJNxgH bSqbcl button button--utily close-alert-button" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" role="button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Close Alert</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-close" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><path d="M16 14.586l6.364-6.364 1.414 1.414L17.414 16l6.364 6.364-1.414 1.414L16 17.414l-6.364 6.364-1.414-1.414L14.586 16 8.222 9.636l1.414-1.414z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></div></button></div></div><div class="StackedNavigatnSectnLogo-gMsxSu dwOfTV"><a href="/" class="StackedNavigatnLogoLk-byNqXP dmvHfj"><picture 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data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp eiGjZk"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT tPofh"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX gPBNpL bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU cwyjHY bric__lk" href="/muny"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Communy</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd jdcWfa isouMH">Reimagg the Closet</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ eijTxK">Beg out, loud, and proud don’t mean the same thg to everyone, pecially for LGBTQ+ people of tersectnal inti. We asked five to expla how the closet works (and often don’t) for them.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH hdWCIC byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd bCbgyH gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd hSmufO skIR eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/nancy-udd">Nancy Udd</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2020-11-23T17:43:35-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd dCoEhu bDGyxQ">November 23, 2020</time></div></div><div 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ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN hfnsqH"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd eNhSMp fNaHcW ptn__cred">Creds, clockwise om top left: Fabliha Anbar, <a href=" target="_blank">Jucci Frh</a>, <a href=" target="_blank">Moréna Espirual</a>, <a href=" target="_blank">Nova Aftab</a> by <a href=" target="_blank">Malik</a>, <a href=" target="_blank">Omar Zayed</a> by <a href=" target="_blank">Ma Nowzari</a></span></div></div></figure></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg fLarGt social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD 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data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"mailto:?subject=5%20Queer%20People%20on%20Why%20Comg%20Out%20and%20%E2%80%9CThe%20Closet%E2%80%9D%20Are%20More%20Complited%20Than%20You%20Thk&" href="mailto:?subject=5%20Queer%20People%20on%20Why%20Comg%20Out%20and%20%E2%80%9CThe%20Closet%E2%80%9D%20Are%20More%20Complited%20Than%20You%20Thk& rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><div class="SocialInContaer-huXzUC pMzVC social-ins__in-ntaer"><svg class="SocialInNetworkInComponent-cZaKGz dlOAhZ in in-email" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><tle>Email</tle><path d="M6 23h20V9H6v14zm3.631-12H22.37l-6.368 5.661L9.631 11zM24 12.227V21H8v-8.773l8.002 7.109L24 12.227z" fill-le="evenodd"></path></svg></div></a></li></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bectqB body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p> </p><p>Sce the dawn of the LGBTQ+ liberatn movement the Uned Stat, the closet — and g out of — have been central to the mastream queer polil agenda. Comg out, the thkg go, will help more people realize that their sisters, mothers, clost iends, and workers are not, fact, straight — and if you're close wh someone who is queer, how uld you discrimate agast them? That's part of the this behd gay liberatn slogans like "We're Here, We're Queer, Get Used to It" and "Gay is Good," and many of the mastream LGBTQ+ rights movement's greatt polil gas, cludg same-sex marriage or the cultural acceptance driven by Pri celebratns natnwi, have been propelled by the ia that all queer people want to be out, loud, and proud.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>Yet the past has shown that many people n (and do) discrimate agast queer people, even when queer people are among their clost panns. And as our society ntu to move beyond a European and whe-centered notn of what beg queer means and how functns, 's bee creasgly evint that many for queer people wh multilayered inti, the closet is not a bary, and "beg out" do not secure one’s safety, self-prervatn, or self-termism.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="iv47a5"></div></div><p>Visibily, fact, n be que dangero: 2020 has already seen <a href=">26</a> murrs of transgenr or genr-nonnformg people, acrdg to the Human Rights Campaign. For wrer <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Jg Jg Wang</a>, beg Che-Amerin and queer means facg the stigma and exhstn of havg to expla one’s inty to his tradnal Che muny who associate queerns wh shame. Nazim Mahmood, a gay Mlim man, jumped to his ath om a balny 2015 after <a href=">g out</a> to his homophobic parents. Countls stori like the prove that the closet isn’t a monolh, and n sometim be perilo to navigate.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Reamg the narrative about the closet allows people to plite their experienc on their own terms and strategilly ve others to their spac of fort. Below, we asked five dividuals to reimage their “closets” light of the nuanc of their inty.</p><asi aria-hidn="te" class="PullQuoteEmbedWrapper-sc-EoVjf fQbAzo"><div class="PullQuoteDerativeBorr-sc-iUyOLj fAzNVP"></div><div class="PullQuoteEmbedContent-sc-kTcfhx eoUd"><p>“We don’t wele bari here."</p></div></asi><div role="headg" aria-level="3" class="headg-h3"><strong>Moréna Espirual, Ao-Taíno tor, anizer & performance artist (they/them/elle)</strong></div><p>To pick apart and undo the narrative around g out of the closet, as a Black native person, is to acknowledge my history and the blood nng through my ves. It’s a history that not only honors the fluidy of genr, sexualy, and inty, but mak space for the multiple leag I rry wh me (and extensn, my muny). Before lonizatn, there wouldn’t have been much of a need to e out of “the closet” the first place, sce homophobia, transphobia, and all the other isms (fatphobia, ableism, etc.) have been implemented as ntrol tactics closely tied to racism.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="8mltc"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="b0c1od"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bectqB body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>I am genrqueer, nonbary, genr non-nfirmg, trans, queer, pansexual, asexual, and misexual. How? Bee we don’t wele bari here. Inty is not the end game when all you know how to speak and e are the lonizer’s tools and language. It is simply the vehicle drivg you closer to who you are and what you want to bee. It should volve a certa level of disfort and undog. Like a shaphifter, one day I awake and I feel that I am a man; another day, a woman; another day, both, and so on. I’d probably have to e out every day to acknowledge every part of me.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>In the streets, -swchg n mean life or ath; beg followed to my doorstep, havg somethg thrown at me, or havg accs to safety. In formal spac, n mean avoidg emotnal and physlogil vlence like gaslightg and my inty beg up for qutn. Culturally, as someone who forms part of the Domin diaspora, and actively aniz and is nversatn wh Black people plac like Colombia and Pe, I mt also reckon wh and honor the nuanc of each culture — how not everyone is at the same place or timele.</p><p>My closet is a dance floor where mbow, funk, reggaeton, trap, bachata, merengue, vogue, rock, R&B, hip hop, and jazz are blastg. Nobody r that this is a wi range of genr and everyone prent allows themselv to move however they feel (or don't feel) lled to. Twerkg is a genrls rual and everyone is a performance artist. This dance floor is versatile and mobile — one day is on the beach, another si a iend’s apartment, and ocsnally a park or club. In every lotn there is flh, there is sweat, and there is air. Together we are trans, queer, digeno, Asian, Black, dark sk, disabled, and fat. We are the sprkl on the ke and the whole ke. We are a damn snack.</p><asi aria-hidn="te" class="PullQuoteEmbedWrapper-sc-EoVjf fQbAzo"><div class="PullQuoteDerativeBorr-sc-iUyOLj fAzNVP"></div><div class="PullQuoteEmbedContent-sc-kTcfhx eoUd"><p>“Comg out is not always an optn."</p></div></asi><div role="headg" aria-level="3" class="headg-h3"><strong>Nova Aftab, Mlim Banglashi-Amerin nonbary actor & mol (they/them)</strong></div><p>Comg out is not always an optn; livg your tth tak a b of bravery and sacrifice. I fd myself “ and out” of the closet. When I’m different environments, I have to adapt “how queer I am” and water down parts of myself pendg on what spac I’m . At the end of the day, I am the same person but wearg different versns of myself to navigate different spac that hab different parts of my inty. It’s like I’m jugglg my queerns, my profsnal inty, my Banglashi si, and my Mlim si. It’s overwhelmg and anxiety as to how I am beg perceived bee I have to thk which me is the most appropriate. When I am lucky I n jt be, which is why <a href=">chosen fay</a> is so important to me. I don’t always like explag myself to others. When you create your own safe space full of people who love you for you, heals you — giv you more urage to grow to yourself more and more each day. At the end of the day, I love who I am.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="g5znzk"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-504"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt jKtkdT">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf 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summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">News</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM jRfyII summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk--unrle-disable" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ jbVqqA summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Lra Ann Carleton, a California Shop Owner, Was Killed Over Her Store’s Pri Flag</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY dHMSJg summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ecFEgL byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name">Jam Factora</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw gmWMTZ ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="9c4hdo"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs laPXdt"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="g1hpgj"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bectqB body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>I thk beg onle is my dream closet. I thk a lot of queers who exist siarly to me fd their safe spac on social media, even if they still have to hi their inti. It’s so much fun beg queer onle, but may not be as much fun outsi of . In the real world, you risk beg ostracized, kicked out, harassed, discrimated agast, attacked, etc. If every day felt as safe and wonrful as the Pri para feels, that would be amazg bee we make each other feel so loved when we <em>fd each other</em>. I tomatilly feel close to another queer person, the faial nnectn is explible.</p><asi aria-hidn="te" class="PullQuoteEmbedWrapper-sc-EoVjf fQbAzo"><div class="PullQuoteDerativeBorr-sc-iUyOLj fAzNVP"></div><div class="PullQuoteEmbedContent-sc-kTcfhx eoUd"><p>“My closet is a nway whout show not or a name.”</p></div></asi><h2><strong>Jerma Frh (also known as Jucci), Black Caribbean queer streetwear signer (he/him)</strong></h2><p>I n't always say the plexy of g out aids whichever muny will accept me, bee that is exactly the problem. I exist as part of and navigate the muni ncurrently, not nsecutively. I'm not Black one day, gay the next, and first generatn the followg day. Sometim the muni we belong to don't know how to make space for someone so radilly different om them. Beg queer Jamai, my mother untry, has long been owned upon, meang many tim I mt choose between my inti to be accepted by eher. Like serly, what is the prospect of g out at the st of the very support you need?</p><p>I've bee acctomed to -swchg my whole life — if was to f wh the Black kids, the whe kids, or non-Black employers, I even tch myself -swchg to f wh the members of the queer muny. When I'm around other Jamains, I keep to myself and say very ltle, often feigng naivety to draw attentn away om my queerns and when I'm around queer folks, I often act more flamboyantly and extroverted.</p><p>My closet is a nway whout show not or a name. A seemgly endls amount of surpris and looks emerge om somewhere out of sight behd a curta somewhere. The them and cu might be lost to the untraed eye, but my queerns is still on display s own unique way.</p><asi aria-hidn="te" class="PullQuoteEmbedWrapper-sc-EoVjf fQbAzo"><div class="PullQuoteDerativeBorr-sc-iUyOLj fAzNVP"></div><div class="PullQuoteEmbedContent-sc-kTcfhx eoUd"><p>“I, unfortunately, nsir myself a pro at -swchg.”</p></div></asi><div role="headg" aria-level="3" class="headg-h3"><strong>Fabliha Anbar, sapphic Banglashi and founr of South Asian Queer + Trans Collective (SAQTC) (she/her)</strong></div><p>I spend at least 90% of my day puttg a ont up a heteronormative society to protect myself, for not only my physil safety but my mental health as well. I, unfortunately, nsir myself a pro at -swchg, as I had to do this throughout middle school, high school, and even my primary job. I work as a Cultural Communy anizer for Arts & Democracy, where I work wh the Banglashi muny Kensgton to cultivate a safe space for folks to creatively exprs themselv. Oftentim, I have to nnect wh the nti and uncl my neighborhood. This means I have to make sure to not only act a certa way but to not tat my fay's reputatn as they know my parents as well.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="xwhaz"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-505"><div 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class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa bectqB body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Sce quarante has begun and <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">SAQTC</a> went virtual, I had to start anizg and facilate events and workshops om home while livg wh my parents our small two-bedroom apartment, who have no ia that their dghter is gay. Now that I anize SAQTC om home, I am forced to filter myself nstantly while talkg to participants sce my parents are the other room. Sce we are now all stuck at home due to the panmic, I have to act a certa way whout a release or a break. It feels as though I have been wearg a stume for the past six months. As a brown dghter, I am already nstantly unr surveillance, so I have to be extremely reful wh what I say so that I don't risk my safety. I take the language barrier between my parents and me to my advantage, but is still credibly drag mentally.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>My closet is a utopia. Inspired by Rokeya Sakhawat Hossa's short story “Sultana's Dream,” which explor a utopia where no cis men exist, my utopia is a land where no cishet people live. Queer dividuals would be ee to look and act however they want whout ever needg to -swch for survival or to please anyone.</p><asi aria-hidn="te" class="PullQuoteEmbedWrapper-sc-EoVjf fQbAzo"><div class="PullQuoteDerativeBorr-sc-iUyOLj fAzNVP"></div><div class="PullQuoteEmbedContent-sc-kTcfhx eoUd"><p>“Beg queer and Mlim means you mt be selective about who you open up to.”</p></div></asi><div role="headg" aria-level="3" class="headg-h3"><strong>Omar Zayed, Mlim Egyptian-Canadian textile sign stunt on the asexualy spectm (he/him)</strong></div><p>Complitg the closet means unrstandg that g out is gog to be different for everybody. I was talkg to my iend the other day and we said that g out is so five years ago. Comg out is you puttg yourself a social box. If you are okay wh that, that is totally fair, but I personally do not want to put myself that box.</p><p>Beg queer and Mlim means you mt be selective about who you open up to. I am not tryg to promote the ia that queerns is necsarily shut out of all Mlim muni, but many tradnal Mlim muni, is. In the sphere of home life, I feel like there is still the expectatn to get married and have kids, but wh my immediate fay, I don’t act ls queer than I do wh my iends. It's different wh my extend fay. They hold a limed place my life and the tim I share wh them I am fe wh puttg parts of myself away. You n exist your own way and be reful about how you take up that space to protect yourself. I’m dog for my own fort level.</p><p>People sometim tomatilly assume I am gay and I don’t even rrect them anymore bee I don’t feel like havg that -pth nversatn. I’ve e to a pot where I rrect people if I feel like is worth and I want to be close to this person. A lot of people don’t know what <a href=">asexualy</a> is and I’m not tryg to be someone’s teacher.</p><p>My reimaged closet is the club, clothg, where I n be my bt queer self, and shoppg wh my girliends at the mall. I am realizg I n exist multiple spher of myself. My asexualy is a spectm and is ntgent on a lot of factors. You n’t jt tell yourself you are what you are and not work on or thk about . You mt reexame that and nstantly be tune wh how fluid you are.</p><p><em>Interviews have been nnsed and eded for clary.</em></p><p><em><strong>Get the bt of what’s queer.</strong></em> <a href=">Sign up for <em>them</em>.'s weekly newsletter here.</a></p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="wir85"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 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summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm cuPhiJ" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/story/lil-nas-x-janelle-monae-sophie-g-out-mic" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz hlQxkn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Why Artists Are Still Choosg to Come Out Their Mic" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX gPBNpL bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM dVrbhU summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk--unrle-disable" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/story/lil-nas-x-janelle-monae-sophie-g-out-mic" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ kBFaWv summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Why Artists Are Still Choosg to Come Out Their Mic</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY dHMSJg summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ecFEgL byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd bCbgyH gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Michelle Hyun Kim</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--has-le summary-em--article summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm cuPhiJ" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/story/high-school-ten-years-later" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz hlQxkn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How Beg Out Has Gotten Better (or Not) 10 Years Sce I Left High School" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX gPBNpL bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM dVrbhU summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk--unrle-disable" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/story/high-school-ten-years-later" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ kBFaWv summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How Beg Out Has Gotten Better (or Not) 10 Years Sce I Left High School</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY dHMSJg summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ecFEgL byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd bCbgyH gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Jill Gutowz</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--has-le summary-em--article summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm cuPhiJ" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/story/g-out-day-2020-sam-brton-nversn-therapy" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz hlQxkn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="As a Conversn Therapy Survivor, I Come Out So That Others Won’t Ever Feel Alone" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX gPBNpL bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Communy</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM dVrbhU summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk--unrle-disable" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/story/g-out-day-2020-sam-brton-nversn-therapy" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ kBFaWv summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">As a Conversn Therapy Survivor, I Come Out So That Others Won’t Ever Feel Alone</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY dHMSJg summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ecFEgL byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd bCbgyH gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Sam Brton</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm cuPhiJ ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="v96p"></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--has-le summary-em--article summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm cuPhiJ" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href="/story/g-out-on-tiktok" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz hlQxkn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Comg Out on TikTok Is Chaotic, Weird, Hilar, and Heartwarmg" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX gPBNpL bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM dVrbhU summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk--unrle-disable" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="/story/g-out-on-tiktok" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ kBFaWv summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Comg Out on TikTok Is Chaotic, Weird, Hilar, and Heartwarmg</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY dHMSJg summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ecFEgL byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd bCbgyH gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Samantha Allen</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridToActnWrapper-gnReGN eGayfk"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="TaboolaWrapper-hMVdpE iYfBhy"><div class="TaboolaWidgetWrapper-egPIjc hkSrgt TaboolaWidget-eUSdED hQCCRa" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetWrapper"><div class="TaboolaWidgetContent-iBEQTO eXroXG TABOOLA" id="taboola-below-article-thumbnails---f" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetContent"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--footer should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--footer" data-no-id="qc2o"></div></div></div></div></div></ma><div class="BasePageMaFooterFiller-hTlZph jSriYf page__ma-footer-filler"></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--cm-footer" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--cm-footer"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan BasePageSeFooterRow-kpEBGH jqlJed"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 BasePageSeFooterRowGrid-iBGjXL zQNeb"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><footer class="SeFooterWrapper-bXjkRY cCBFKg se-footer--wh-store"><div class="SeFooterGridNoMargs-jSrXSj kdlxBX" data-ttid="SeFooterGridNoMargs"><div class="SeFooterBrandInfo-cdoqKy cdkwFG"><div class="SeFooterLogo-eYlNHY eigdAF se-footer__logo"><a href="/"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset SeFooterLogoRponsiveAsset-ckjzWk kubVDn se-footer__rponsive-image"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SeFooterLogoRponsiveAsset-ckjzWk kubVDn se-footer__rponsive-image rponsive-image"><img alt="Them" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="/verso/static/them/assets/" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/></picture></span></a></div><div data-ttid="SeFooterAbout" class="SeFooterAbout-lflfWa kCRdyp"><div class="SeFooterAboutText-XXKBX blTbmF">Them is the award-wng thory on what LGBTQ+ means today — and tomorrow. From -pth storytellg on the fight for LGBTQ+ rights to timate profil of queer cultural vanguards, ’s a platform for all of the bold, stylish, and rebell ways that LGBTQ+ people are rhapg our world every day.</div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV hwdgCG social-ins social-ins--footer SeFooterSocialIns-cLAKVY pJQob"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA gBoIvv social-ins__list"><li class="SocialInsListItem-mbhR gQILrJ social-ins__list-em social-ins__list-em--facebook social-ins__list-em--footer"><a aria-label="Follow on Facebook" class="external-lk SocialInExternalLk-huuzOU drSpWb social-ins__lk social-ins__lk--facebook" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><div class="SocialInContaer-huXzUC pMzVC social-ins__in-ntaer"><svg class="SocialInNetworkInComponent-cZaKGz dlOAhZ in in-facebook" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Facebook.